A ROMCOM TS : OH, DEAR!
Hello Guys !!! Its me Anu back again with another TS!
So after writing on The Struggles of SiyaRam, The Relationship of Ram-Lakshman, LakshMila as parents and even Raavan-Mandodari, on the recommendation of my IF-Friends, I am trying my hand at a RomCom!!
In This RomCom, I write about the day to day (fictional) lives of LakshMila and BharMa in Ayodhya, where Lakshman and Bharat, the Princes, are subjected to a pain everyday : Their Wives. So, the name Oh, Dear! is both objective and subjective :P. Also, its a 2 part TS made from an OS as It is long. 😆.
Disclaimer: This is completely a fictional representation of mine, for the entertainment of the follow Forum-ers. I do not mean to hurt anyones religious sentiments and if I have done so kindly forgive me.
OH, DEAR!
"Didi, will they remember?"
"Ofcourse, Chhoti. They have to!"
Urmila and Mandvi whispered to each other as they stood together in the Royal Kitchens of the Great City of Ayodhya.
They had been given the task of managing the cookhouse, but now they were involved in sharing their deepest troubles, which society has sinisterly named gossiping, with each other.
Mandvi continued to whisper and gossip,
"Urmila, remember, dont give them a single clue about it. Let them think on their own."
Her sister replied,
"Sure, didi. I doubt Swami remembers anything."
"I doubt my Swami remembers that we even got married," mumbled Mandvi under her breath.
"Huh?"
"Nothing, Mila," Mandvi said as she got out of her self speaking trance. "Ok, you be here and I will just go and check to the other side. We better get some work done or else Sita Didi will.."
Urmila nodded.
"You go fast. I already heard a Pravachan yesterday."
""""""""""
The drumbeats sounded heavenly to all the people of Ayodhya. It was a bright morning for all, except Urmila and Mandvi. Had it not been for their excessive jewellery weighing a few kilos at a minimum, they would have performed Taandav on their respective husbands' chests.
Lakshman rolled around in bed. From what he could gauge seeing the fresh dewdrops on the plants, it was quite early in the morning. But why on Earth were drumbeats being sounded? Had someone waged war?
Rubbing his eyes, while still laying down, Lakshman yawned.
"Who is that great soul who wants to fight early in the morning, eh? Bande ki neend ko subah-subah kharab kar do toh Yuddh toh vaise hi ho jana hain!"
Saying so, he sat upright.
Lakshman yawned widely showing his bright white teeth and rubbed his eyes again.
Blinking a few times he tried to fix his eyesight on the person standing at the door. A woman.
Lakshman gulped.
It was his wife.
Immediately, he sat strong like a warrior, just like he would project himself in front of her.
But Lakshman could see the anger in her eyes.
Urmila's gaze pierced through Lakshmans soul. Lakshman could hear the sound of a baby crying in the far distance when he realised, it was his own soul.
"Ur...Urmila!! Good morning ! Come here, sit with me," he said sheepishly.
Urmila stood there and folded her hands. Her cheeks were chilli red.
Lakshman put up a fake laugh and pointed at her.
"Mila, I think you put on too much Blush today..Your cheeks are.."
Urmila swiftly pulled out the dagger from the secret case in her dress and threw it at Lakshman. It passed him by a whisker and hit his portraits eye hung on the wall. The dagger was a weapon of safety for Ayodhya women, not a murdering-my-husband weapon as far as the books said.
Lakshman's whole body was sweating. His dhoti's colour had changed from white to yellow with the salt water. An observer would have thought of something else.
Lakshman took one end of the blanket and wiped his face with it. He was trembling. He understood what the drumbeats were for : War in his own Room.
Urmila walked closer to him, making Lakshman move to the centre of the bed. He could hear her heavy and slow breathing. Just like a tiger does before it tears its prey into pieces.
Urmila gritted her teeth so hard that her cheekbones looked like as if they were about to break just then. She sat with a thud on the edge of the bed, launching Lakshman a few inches into the air.
Suddenly, her expression of anger changed into that of a smile. A sarcastic smile.
"Swami," she said in the cheesiest of tones possible, "Why did you get up Sooo early?"
Lakshman was confused with the sudden change in her behaviour. In the time he had known her, mood swings were common. But this was something extra. Unexpected. Like Cheese in a Medu Vada.
"H.. I was sleeping only.. But those drums... Drummers I tell you.. Announce every little thing that happens in Ayodhya early in the morning. Cost of vegetables, birth of a child, divorce of the barber.."
"The eldest Prince's first wedding Anniversary?" Urmila asked in a sharp tone, folding her hands again.
"Bhaiyya's and Bhabi's Anniversary is today?! Wow I .."
Lakshman stopped and kept looking towards the wall where he was looking whilst speaking. He gulped again, loud enough for Urmila to hear and smirk. It struck him now, that he and all his brothers had gotten married on the same date. He just forgot his first wedding anniversary with his only wife.
Tears welled up in Lakshmans eyes. The soul baby started crying again.
He slowly turned to face Urmila. But seeing the red eyes, he quickly looked down at her feet.
"What should I do now?" he thought to himself. "Aage badhoon ya peeche aaoon?"
Suddenly, he remembered a piece of advice from his elder brother, Bharat given to him at their Bachelors Party.
\FLASHBACK TO THE BROTHERS BACHELOR PARTY\
Ram walked out of the scene. His brothers were all sitting in a circle and arguing over whose bride will look the best the next day.
"I am telling you two, Mandvi will look the best." said Bharat.
"Bhaiyya, Urmila has made her gown herself," said Lakshman flabbergasting.
"Are Bhaiyyas, Shrutkirti is not wearing a Saree only," added Shatrughan, making Bharat spit the water in his mouth on himself. " I mean, She's wearing a new type of dress."
Bharat took a deep breath and sighed.
"But Bharat Bhaiyya," asked Lakshman, "what do we do if any of our wives get angry?"
"See brother, " said Bharat, sounding like an agent from a matrimonial service, "A relationship is based on one main thing: Pamper. Girl pampers boy, Boy pampers girl. If you mess up, you only have to pamper them."
"So does that mean I have to give her a Champi or something like that?"
"No, you kid. Our Pampering and their pampering are different. Suppose, if you mess up and she is siting right in front of you, hug her. That will calm her down."
"Bhaiyya, you seem to have a lot of experience in this field," said Shatrughan winking at Lakshman.
Melodramatic music played in Bharats mind. He stared into the water glass and said,
"Don't ask, Bro. Mandvi made me sit down and gave me a 2 hour lecture on what girls like on the night of our engagement."
"Ooo, that hurts," said Shatrughan and Lakshman together.
\FLASHBACK ENDS\
Lakshman smiled in his head. He knew what to do.
Still looking at Urmilas feet, he moved forward and hugged her.
Urmila kept looking straight into the wall, her eyes burning. Lakshman closed his eyes behind her to expect the best. But he could hear how loud her heart was pounding.
"Leave Me," she said in a deep voice.
Lakshman clung onto her harder.
"Urmila, Happy Anniversary Yaar! Im Sorry I didnt say it to you in the morning itself ... I was just.. sleepy.."
"Leave. Me." Her emphasis on the pauses was scary enough to make Lakshman leave her.
"Mila sorry na yaar! Trust me I remembered everything !!"
Urmila got up and walked towards the door. She stood in front of it and turned to look at Lakshman. Her death stare could be compared to that of a cat's in the night.
"I won't say much, you just wait and watch. You will stay in this room till Lunch. You will NOT try to come out."
"Mila !"
"Shut your mouth," she yelled. "Don't act smart or you won't get your lunch."
Urmila walked out and closed the door behind her.
Lakshman fell back on the bed groaning and crying.
"Dammit !!!! I forgot the anniversary man !!" He cursed Bharat for his stupid idea of hugging Urmila, because it angered her more. But then he thought, what must be happening to my poor brother?
Mandvi smiled all the way as she walked from the temple to her room in the palace on the same morning. She carried a basket of flowers.
"He was painting something yesterday, I think its for me."
She entered her room and closed the doors behind her. The bed was to the right of the room .
"Swami !" she yelled in the hall of the room, but no one answered. She moved to the bed.
Mandvi dropped the flowers from her hand. Her expression changed from a happy to an angry one, pardon, a super angry one.
BHARAT WAS STILL SLEEPING.
Usually he was a late riser, but today he was sleeping more than usual. Mandvi fumed up in an instant.
The sound of her Payal approaching seemed deadly. She embodied the ancient ghosts, who would always come in royal attire and greet their victims with Payals.
But Bharat still slept. His mouth was open and flicks of his hair in it. Had it not been for the mosquito net, he would have become Bharat Grylls.
Mandvi envisioned many things in her mind. A sword, nah! A dagger, too old fashioned. She was looking at was to kill him.
She took out the four ends of the mosquito net. Bharat closed his mouth and sat up straight.
"What is it morning already or.."
"Swami."
Bharat had his eyes closed still, but he understood just by hearing that Mandvi was standing dangerously close to him and that she was not happy.
He opened his eyes and looked at her, smiling.
"Hello Mandvi !! Good morning ! I.."
"Get down," she commanded.
Bharat didnt ask her anything and got down, standing in front of her.
"Before I begin, show me that painting you were making yesterday," said Mandvi.
Bharat smiled a little and brought the canvas covered in a red cloth.
"I think you will like it Mandvi. Its kind of inspired by you.."
Mandvi smiled a little but hid it from him. She was getting excited inside.
Mandvi ke Dil mein laddoo tha..
Bharat took a deep breath and pulled off the cloth.
Mandvi ke dil ka laddoo bomb ban gaya..
It was a deep green painting of .. A Rakshasi. A Rakshasi picking up men and flinging them in all directions.
"Mandvi, this is my minds creation. I named this Rakshasi Pootna. It symbolises.."
"This is inspired by me?" she gritted her teeth and asked.
Mandvi ke dil ka bomb phat gaya ...
Bharat gulped.
"See I meant the colour combination and textures like you use.. "
Mandvi stepped back. Bharat thought she calmed down. But then HE moved back.
Mandvi took out both of her sandals in her hands.
"This is inspired by me ?!"
Bharat kept moving back and said,
"No Mandvi I mean.. "
"What day is it today? " asked Mandvi.
"Uh.. Shukravar.. "
Mandvi let out a yell of frustration, probably damaging one of Bharats ears.
"What special day is it today Goddamit?!"
Bharat had no clue. He peeped at the solar calendar from the corner of his eye. The date was circled.
What day was it?!
Bharat tried to focus on the little text note on the table next to the calendar. Maybe he could get some information.
"ITS OUR ANNIVERSARY YOU IDIOT!" yelled Mandvi and threw a Sandal at him, barely missing his head.
Bharat ducked and fell on his bottom.
"Ouch!" he said,
Mandvi threw another of her sandals at him, also missing him by an inch. Another pair of sandals had to be made by the cobbler now.
"Mandvi, Im sorry! I remembered till yesterday night also and today morning I ... i would have recalled it anyway."
Mandvi towered over the poor Bharat who was on the ground. It was like the Sun creating a total eclipse on the earth, except for this eclipse was not to be there for a few seconds.
"Mandvi I .."
"You forgot out anniversary! On the night of our engagement I told you.. I told you 3 times Bharat that for girls it is compulsory for their husbands to remember their anniversary.But no ! You were not listening to me Bharat!"
Bharat joined his hands and pleaded in front of her,
"Mandvi Im sorry ! I really did remember it !"
"Then what gift did you plan for me?"
Bharat looked around the room and started to point at random things.
"See, I had planned a Saree of that colour and that pots texture.."
"NO!" she said and thumped her feet on the ground, making Bharat shake up.
"You wasted time making that Rakshasi and you couldnt plan a gift for me?!'
"Well how do you think the Rakshasi looks?" asked Bharat innocently, "If you like it you can keep it.."
Bharat saw Agni Dev in her. Even Agni Dev was saying,
"Bhai, bhaag ja. Biwi ko pareshaan kiya hain, main bhi kuch nahi kar sakta."
Bharat stood up and started running around the room. Mandvi yelled again and ran behind him.
"Wait ! You had it from me today!"
Urmila passing by their room heard this whole episode. She waited for a while and after a few bangs, yells and screams, Mandvi came out cleaning her hands with the end of her pallu.
"Did yours remember Choti ?" she asked.
"Mine and yours are the same; hopeless case."
"Hmm. Come, we have lots of work to do."
The two proceeded to the kitchen.
It was Lunch Time. Bharat and Lakshman had both been confined to their respective rooms, with only a set of clothes and water. They had not had a bath since morning, nor did they eat anything.
Lakshman was lying on his bed like a starfish. His stomach growled and his body itched. He didnt like going around without a bath.
"I bet Ram Bhaiyya and Shatrughan remembered the anniversary. I know they will.. " Lakshman hit his fist of the bed side, hurting himself against it.
"AHH! Even my bed is not cooperating with me yaar! That Shatrughan na, he's a ladies man. I need tips from him."
Bharat walked around in his room trying to overcome his hunger. Even his body was paining from the Mandvis maar.
Koi Khaana de do yaar, badi zor se bhoook lagi hain. "
The door flung open. Mandvi entered with a new, strong pair of sandals. She was Mandvi cum Daya.
Bharat sat at the age of the bed as soon as he heard someone coming in. Mandvi turned and saw him, sitting there like a prisoner waiting to be freed from jail.
"Go out, get Lakshman and go the the lunch room." ordered Mandvi.
"I can eat?!" asked an excited Bharat, as if it was a very interesting thing to do.
"Are you dumb?! Thats what I said!"
Bharat got up and walked out straight to Lakshmans room to share the joy.
"Lakshman, open the door."
Lakshman heard Bharats voice outside his door and ran to open it.
He flung it open and jumped and hugged Bharat.
"Mere Bhai! We are saved ! We live another day !"
Bharat looked at the sky from the corridor and said,
"I know brother ! A long, hard morning and we have emerged.."
"Go the the Lunch Room ."
Lakshman and Bharat turned to look at Urmila, still cross.
" I said go the Lunch Room, you .."
Lakshman and Bharat walked in ostrich steps.
""""""""""vvv"""""""
PART 1 OVER 😆
I KNOW, TOMATOES AND EGGS ARE HEARTILY WELCOME 😆
DO TELL ME HOW MY (PATHETIC) ATTEMPT AT WRITING COMEDY WAS, SO THAT I NEVER WRITE IT AGAIN 😆
ALSO, ALL THIS IS JUST FICTION, PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED. I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS OS AND RESPECT THEM :)
DO REVIEW !! IT WILL MEAN A LOT !!
TILL THEN, THANK YOU :)
ANU.
Tum Se Tum Tak
Ganesh Kartikeya
