.
TCR P-4
A/N-
Aayush's b.day
@Kolkata
Shekhar- POV-
I am in my room waiting for Sanskaar.. he had called me .. he is coming to take me to Aayush...
I looked at my leg. .. I got injured last week it was an accident.. I was hit by a car...
My phone again rang... This time it was Ragini..
Sh- hello
R- papa woh hum Mandir se parashad layr the toh aapko Dena chachte the...
Sh- Ragini I am sorry not now.. pls don't come here...
R-par papa...
Sh- I said Na no means no
I gave her a cold reply. ...N disconnected the call...
Waiting for Sanskaar again..
Ragini POV-
As the time is passing by. .. it is my habbit to hear these cold replies..
"Kya hua shall we go to badi.." laksh asked me..
"No papa is busy he had asked to come later.." I replied without looking at him...
"Okay.. should I take u to the orphanage... " He quized..
U nodded n kept looking out...
We moved there ...
R- Laksh please we will leave soon because Maa n papa r at home.. all alone..
L- I know..
He was looking straight at the road .. as we moved... Even though Bhabhi is at home we can't trust her... If she is with Maa n papa then it is equivalent to none at home...
We reached the orphanage the place where I come every year on this day.. today is Aayush's b.day ... Laksh n i moved to the kids ..
5 years old... He might now be 5 .. I miss him so much... Infact I miss swara a lot... But no forgiveness... I don't deserve it n I know it.. i will be guilty forever for performing shraad of my alive sister...
Hurting my mother... N more than that for not believing them... The people who had always proved themselves correct .. who could not even think of doing any wrong to me... I did not believe them ...
What all I did weren't just mistakes but crimes... N in a way sins... My eyes are developing a watery layer.. but misfortune.. or rather the result of my own acts.. I can't cry .. these will be considered as fake... I have lost all my relationships.. I have myself.. with my own hands Crushed them...
Before I actually breakdown I grabbed my Anti depressant n took the second dose..
Unwillingly, I am slowly getting dependent on these... Whenever my thoughts ponder back to my past I have to take them... It makes my brain numb n I feel relaxed..
Hmm.. now today I will take 3 doses I calculated...
Yes 3 they will be one at night is necessary for me... Or I won't be able to sleep. .. past 15 days n I have started taking sleeping pills as well ..
Laksh ji n doctor says don't take it .. it will deteriorate my health... But no there is no other way of controlling my thoughts, my guilt, my emotions n my desires who haunt me every night...
"I am sorry Ragini.." I heard laksh whisper when he saw me gulping those tablets...
I kept my hand on his shoulder n assured..." It's not ur fault Laksh..."
He kept his hand on mine...
I manged a smile... N we drove to the orphanage...
Shekhar-POV
The door bell rang .. it was sanskaar... I manged to reach the hall holding a few chairs... N doors n wall for support...
Maa opened the door.. he greeted none of us but held me... I walked out with his support...
He made me sit in this car n we started our journey..
"Aayush.. where is he.." I asked him
N came a cold reply..
"He is waiting for you.."
"How is Mishti Shona... " I again quized...
"Good" he said in acodl tone Again...
"Sanskaar..." I called him...
Sa- kshihye .
Sh- are they still angry...
Sa- y do u think u deserve any forgiveness...
I was dumbstruck... I couldn't speak more..
We reached a park..
Aayush was in full masti mood jumping here n there... Roaming around... Behind swara n uttara... teasing them...
I smiled looking at him... We walked down n sanskaar helped me sit on a chair... Aayush ran to me n started talking he was telling about everything.. from what his teachers taught him to how swara keeps on scolding him.. how he teases her every now n then ... How sanskaar helps him..
I was looking at Mishti n shona .. they weren't even looking at me for once...
All they did was to smile at him.. we celebrated his b.day but they didn't even tried to talk to me nor I had guts to do the same.
In the evening sanskaar drop me back...Aayush was sad but we have to be separated.. I am the most unfortunate father to stay away from my son, daughter n love...
But I left the thought of getting them back ever again it was my mistake... I Crushed those relationships...
I reached home Sanskaar helped me sit on bed...
Sa- take care of urself
Sh- hmm.. n u take care of Mishti Shona n Aayu..
Sa- I know .. n I will..
He coldly replied n left...I closed my eyes feeling the touch of my son replaying every event with him in my mind again n again after all now we will meet next year...
Tears escaped my eyes... But I deserve this... N I know it...
Laksh POV-
We stayed at orphanage... For quite some time... Ragini was playing with kids... Her eyes again n again filled with tears.. remembering Aayush n Swara. .. .
I too sat by her side.. after an hour or 2 we departed... We were moving to the parking area when she fell on the ground... I patted her cheek but she didn't reply..
I Lifted her up n rushed to our doctor Dr. Vani ...
Vani- Mr. Maheshwari can't u see ur wife getting dull n weak day by day ..
She stared at ragini who was still unconscious...
L- ji...
Vani- Mr Maheshwari... I already told u this is not done .. she is getting dependent on medicines more n more ..today also I think she did overdose that is y she have fainted...
L- what should I do Dr.
Vani- y don't u plan for a baby .. is there any problem ...
L- no doc no problem...
Vani- then u both should try . ... Or Mr. Maheshwari u might loose ur wife soon... These drugs they reduce life expectancy... I hope u understand the matter well .. her condition is deteriorating with every passing day...
I nodded n picked ragini up in my arms.. I took her to our farm house.. n informed Maa... No just a thought of loosing her her n I feel like dieing... I won't be able to stay without her...
After Sanskaar left ... She is the only one who is giving me strength to continue living...
I placed her on bed n waited until she gained conscious ...
"Laksh..." She faintly spoke managing to get up...
I ran to her made her sit...
R-hum..
L- farm house.. we r here at our farm house...
R- par Maa n papa ji...
L- I have informed them..
R- par...
L-shhh...
I cut her in b/w n kept my finger on her lips...
L- I can't afford to lose u Ragini
R-Laksh kya hua...
I took her in a bone crushing hug...
She was perplexed then responded to it...
R- Laksh...
L- sshh..
I didn't break the hug untill she forcefully pulled herself looked into my eyes...
L-ragini dare u take those Anti dispersants again...
R- but laksh I am taking them since 2 years if I don't take them .. how will I sleep...
L- no need... If u will take even a single tablet then I am telling u .. I won't spare u..
Saying this I grabbed her purse n took out those tablets... I threw the out of the window..
She stood helplessly gazing at me .. I know y it was so but I asked her to freshen up... I can't give her this punishment for my mistakes... Our mistakes.. we were equal partners in that then y she should she bear all the pain.. the taunts.. the cold behavior of dadi n papa... I don't y they do so.. what was her fault... I think it was loving me .. I left a Deep sigh .. she can give up everything for me.. n here I am killing her slowly.. I won't let it happen ...
She went to the washroom... N came out water dripping from her hair made her clothes wet. ... R-hey were sticking to her body... I kept them on her shoulder n tied the dori of her blouse.. rather played with it... Not willing to tie it at all.. she was melting under my touch... I pecked her earlobe n saw her smiling through the mirror..
L- ese mukuraya karo... I miss ur smile...
She didn't say a word but hugged me tight ..
R- Laksh I am sorry... I am forcing u now... I am ...
L- sshh.. nothing like that.. agar tumhe kuch ho gaya toh I would be dead..
R- nahi Laksh...
L- shhh.
.. I kept my finger on her lips.. she looked at me with tears...
I took her in a bone crushing hug..
Her tears were piercing my heart . ...
L- ragini... I know we both r guilty... We have done sins ... N they can never be forgiven...
R- jante h ...
L- so now we have to forget about what is gone... Swara n sanskaar they have left us .. they r gone... N we both don't deserve any kind of forgiveness..
R- hmm...
L- toh ab I think it's high time we learn to live with their memories... Atleast for eachother.. we can live atleast for maa n papa ... H Na ragini...
R- hum aaj tak bhi aap hi k liye jeeye h laksh.. warna hum... Humne Jo kiya.. I would have died long back... After swara left my guilt it killed me...
L- Sshhh... now we have to move on... Pls ragini let's give eachother a chance .. our relationship needs a Chance... We couldn't do any good to our siblings Maa n Aayush but now it's too late to regret even... Isn't it
R- hmm.. I know Laksh
L- Then will u pls give our love another chance to heal us... The guilt in our hearts won't ever die ... But it can be suppressed atleast... Whatever happens Ragini I don't want to loose u.. at any cost ..
R- Laksh I too love u but.. whenever I think about past ..
L- ragini.. Pls.. Vani said we should go for a baby...
R- Laksh.. pata nahi will I be able to love that baby or not ... Or...
My thoughts ponder back 1&half year before...
Fb--
Ragini was getting depressed day by day .. we went to Dr. Vani she advised to go for a baby or atleast adopt one if possible...
I N Ragini we adopted a baby ... A young boy .. we named him Amrit ... Ragini could smile again her days used to pass loaded with happiness... She started to overcome her guilt... So did I .. Amrit was 2 year old n we were again very happy ... Me n Ragini we started coming close to eachother .. our dry relationship blossomed again...Maa n Papa were so happy with the baby..untill that day..
Once we 3 went out our 2&half year old Amrit he was full wet along with us due to rain... We changed his clothes but he had caught cold .. we rushed to the doctor.. for a week he was in the hospital .. he was being treated but his fever didn't get down n he died...
Ragini broke down at that time... So did Maa n Papa... N me how can I forget any moment spend with Amrit ... He used to call me Papa... He used to hold my fingers in amusement...
R- Amrit .. baby pls don't leave mumma like that pls...
L- ragini..
R- nahi Laksh dekhiye Na Amrit he is not holding my hand... Ask him to hold it.. Pls Na
L- ragini listen...
But the situations worsemed after that.. Ragini started getting dependent on those Anti dispersants.,.
N helplessly saw her dieing every day...
Fb ends------
L- ragini kyun nahi de paoogi y
R- Laksh Amrit he .. he was my life..but now...I don't know ...
L- ragini trust me everything will be good...
R- I trust you...
I turned her back to me n we sat on the dinning table for our dinner...
I later offered her a chocolate.. she ate it slowly when it stuck her lips... I indicated her but she spread more on her face...
I smiled
I held her by shoulders n showed her the mirror .. she smiled at her own face.. I turned he to me...
L- ragini listen
R- ji
L- u look beautiful with this chocolate... .
R- u r too much laksh..
She turned to clean her face when I turned her n pulled her closer... No air could pass b/w us I placed my lips on her... Slowly licking them up... Exploring her mouth... I slowly started moving .. pushing her backwards .. we reached our room .. our tounges kept touching... Untill we reached the bed... We fell on it...
I saw into her eyes ... They were twinkling with tears...I sipped them..
L-Ragini..
R- hmm
L- Don't cry anymore pls ...
R- hmm...
I adjusted her position on the bed .. n embraced her. ...
We talked for long... After a huge time Gap... We laughed a little n cried a lot.. we let our sorrows out...
Around 12 mid night...
I rolled over her...
R-Laksh...
L- shh...
I bend down .. she closed her eyes.. I slowly sucked her lips... She too responded back..
I parted unwillingly when went out of breath...
We shared a desired filled eyelock...
I caressed her face... Neck.. shoulders hair...
Explored her body... N we put a slow n beautiful attempt to rejoice our relationship...
..
2 months later-
Sanskaar POV-
Omg.. swara pata nahi how is she.. she left the office early.. n now I could see so many missed calls... Ab kya karun I was in the meeting..
She had a headache I am calling her n she is now not picking up the call... No one is at home... All r gone for uttara's convocation ceremony... Except us...
Swara don't worry I am coming...
@Appartment...
I rushed to our apartment... I saw the doors open... It scared me...
"Swara... " I shouted as I hastily entered...
But no response...
I closed the door...
"Swara.." I opened all the rooms n checked... Chanting her name...
I re-checked my room...
"Swara.." tears almost escaped my eyes... When a click from the washroom door caught my attention...
"Swara..." I took a sigh of relief...
I ran n embraced her ...
"Can't you reply.. I was shouting for so long..Han.. n how is ur head ache..."
I cupped her face.. bursting out in a single breath... When she encircled her arms around my neck lifted her self n pecked my lips..
Sw- shh... Pati Dev... I am all okay n have no headache...
Sa- but u said..Na.
Sw- jhoot kaha tha...
I looked at her in disbelief when she smirked n traced her finger along my jaw line...
Sw- Sanskaar... I have kept something for u in the washroom... (Winks)
Sa- (husky voice)- kya...
Sw- go. Check baby..N come back soon..I am waiting for you...
Sa- (narrowed eyes)- what r u upto...
Sw- (keeping a finger on his lips.. n reducing the space b/w them..) u will come to know soon..
She bit my earlobe..N I saw her with wide open eyes...
Sw- waiting sanky..
She left me n walked to the mirror .. n I noticed her.. she wore a white translucent a line frock... It was a n8 suit ... Revealing her body n her curves .. partially wet due to her hair it stuck to her body... She applied lotion but didn't comb her hair... It made her look.. amm.. sexier...
She turned to me...
Sw- Sanky.. I am waiting...
Sa(raising eyebrow) - sure my shona...
I took a blue track pant n my white T... Left to the washroom...
15 minutes later...
"Swara... What is this..." I shouted...
Sw- Sanskaar... This is called red wine...
Sa- I can see that but...
Sw- come on yrr it's good for health.. come have dinner ... Then we will enjoy the wine...
I was shocked.. I didn't utter a word...
We had our dinner...
Sa(with wine in hand)- r u sure about this...
Sw- Sanskaar Mene kabhi nahi pee h.. pls pls ek bar try karte h Na... Aur wese bhi hum ghar p h.. aur akele h .. aur mein toh chahti hoon humse galtiyan hoon...
Sa- I know baby .. washroom mein I saw it... U want us to commit mistakes... Nahi...
Sw-(shifting closer)- yes...
I was moving closer to her... When she lifted her glass...
Sw- Cheers Mr. Maheshwari...
Sa- Cheers Mrs. Sanskaar Maheshwari...
N we gulped wine...
Sw- ewww.. gandi h..
Sa- Mene bola tha...
Sw- par maza aaya...
Sa- but don't drink too much...
Sw- kyun tum ho nah sambhalne k liye...
Before I could stop her she gulped few more glasses of it...
Sa- swara bas.. shona...
Sw- r8.. sanskaar...
Sa- Han...
Sw- muuuaaah... (Gives a flying kiss)
I knew it .. now she is drunk...
Sw- Sanskaar..kiss me baby. ..
Sa- swara... Sleep...
Sw- nope.. n shifted close to me... N captured my lips...
I saw a wild swara first time...
I grabbed her waist n we wildly kissed .. lost in each other...
I turned her n came on top of her .
We made love.. we were lost in each other...
No wants no hopes to be found again..
Me n her only us.. in our small beautiful world .. no barriers ni limitations no rules no regulations... Just us .. all happy
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