TCR p3
Laksh POV-
The n8.. it's is calm n slow ... I turned behind n saw ragini... Neither she nor I can sleep... I am here standing at the balcony n she is there sitting on the bed... Her legs squeezed n arms circled around them...
She is there sitting emotionlessly.. only her eyes red, wet n swelled up due to continuous crying...
It has been 3 years to that incident but things are still the same.. time never moved a second further in this mansion .. it is still there n then...
We all here live surrounded by This ringing silence.. the deadly .. haunting silence eating us up more with every passing second...
With every passing second we are becoming still.. feelingless beings.. we breathe , we eat , we walk but still we r next to dead..
I hold in my hand a kanhan .. thus belongs chachi.. I had been searching them that day but when I saw sanskaar he was selling this..
I wanted to stop him bit then I didn't.. I had hurted him a lot n also his self respect ... I didn't want to scar things further more n hence I stayed silent..
I had purchased it at the same moment.. chachi never sold this kangan .. not even at the time when papa was in hospital.. she sold all her jwellery but not this...
So much I am Waiting for the moment when I would be able to give it back to her.. how much I am missing her smile... Her jokes.. she laughed on them herself n we laughed at her laughter...
So much I wished she should be here with us... Every Morning her non stop talks at the dinning table... I missed that... Every time she used to call all of us for the dinner n the house became more like a market...
She used to shout on us then fight with Chacha .. then seek sanskaar to support her who used to just smile.. n then uttara who joined hands with Chacha n tease her more n then swara coming to her rescue .. all sanskaar did was to smile n laugh at their antics ...
I miss him... His support ... His shining glowing face everyday filled the office with positive vibes... But my mistakes.. my distrust ... It all crushed everything... It crushed our relationship...
Today after 3 years n I still stand alone with their memories ... Only memories of our Crushed Relationship...
I moved back n lye on the bed... Besides ragini.. she gave a faint smile...turned off the lights .. we turned our backs to eachother n slept .. this is the reality of our life.. we stay together yet are far apart...
All relationships which I are left are dead .. like this one.. my n ragini's relationship is dead now. ..
She closed her eyes n pretended to sleep... I laughed a little... When tears brimmed in my eyes.. yes ragini pretended to sleep to avoid me... But I don't blame her because I do the same ... Lay on the bed with eyes closed even when sleep is far away from my eyes...
This mansion is more becoming like an inn for me.. I leave early morning come late night ... I try to have some talk with maa n papa ... Ragini stands there just smiling.. I can see the pain behind it but I am helpless.. too helpless to get the reason for her smile back to her... She trys her best everyday , to mask her pain under a smile causing aching in my heart... Exchanging words with her is also a challenge nowadays... I don't know y but I can't meet her eyes... Almost drowned in my file I ask her for tea sometimes n sometimes she all busy with her work asks me to have dinner.. the sole medium of conversation b/w us is tea n dinner ... Just two lines n nothing more...
To divert her mind I had asked her to start her sitar again but she ended up hurting her fingers... Oh her fingers .. I got up n sat to her side with out disturbing her vulnerable sleep..
I cursed myself her bandages were wet n soaked in water.. n she didn't even changed them.. I brought the first aid box ...pulled forth her hand.. trying to put bandages when she woke up n saw me... We shared an eyelock but I then again concentrated on her fingers.. "dhyan rakho apna..." I said with a voice sans any emotions...
"Hmm .. " she looked at my dull face n replied...
I pecked her forehead n stood up... Now that was it I know what is the next ... We won't look at eachother for the coming 2-3 days .. it happens everytime... I moved to my side n slept so did she... Facing our back at eachother...
Next mrng-
I woke up it was 6 in the mrng.. 2 and half hours I calculated.. better...
Yes sleep is not near to my eyes...N in such a situation 2 and half hours of sleep is good atlest better than no sleep at all...
Ragini is still sleeping I got up n went to freshen up... I tried my best but she still woke up due the noise...
"Good morning .." I wished her or atleast tried wishing her with a small smile..
She too did the same..
She left to the washroom n I got engrossed in my work...
8 am...
I am walking down to the dinning area ... But then again I thought of Maa n papa.. n more about their favourite question these days... "Humare kan Dada - Dadi sunne k liye tadap rahe h..."..
I closed my eyes n took a deep breath...
Earlier it was the huge guilt of hurting me .. making me stay away from her.. n now it is the work load taking over me...
It isn't easy to handle Maheshwari and Karma grp. With almost no help.. yes Adarsh comes to office he is a help yet work load is too much... From 5 owners to just.. papa I asked him not to work anymore .. he should not work now...
"Laksh .." my transce was broken by Maa..
"Neeche aja wanhan p kyun khada h.."
"Nothing Maa" I replied whike putting efforts to smile...
I sat on the table.. ragini started serving us I could see her fingers shaking due to cuts...
"Wait .. I will serve" I asked her to halt..
She looked at me I took the bowl from her hand n held her shoulders making her sit...
But she sprang up..
"Hum poha leke aaye..." She said n walked to the kitchen...
I served Maa n papa when she repeated her lines... "Laksh bte humare kan Tara's gaye h Dada- Dadi sunne ko..." I looked at her n Continued serving ..
"Maa I am just 27 n ragini is younger just 24 .. we r not ready for the responsibility.." I again gave the same excuse n Continued... I turned to see Adarsh n Parineeta were approaching the dinning area... Their eyes drilling holes in the floor...
My blood boils Everytime I see them... A placed the bowl with a noise on the table indicating my disgust...
They looked up at me but then came n sat on their places...
My gaze fell on the knife.. it is placed over an apple.. huh.. this gives me a wild thought Everytime my feelings n attraction towards death is increased more.. either I feel like sliding this knife through my wrist or I feel like any accident or natural way of death strikes me n i should die.. I feel like this... But always discard my thoughts for maa papa n Ragini .. sole reasons for my existence...I diverted my mind from the knife to the kitchen door
Ragini she walked out n saw them ... Her eyes brimming with tears.. Maa again asked the same question to her.. she wants to be dadi soon... She helplessly gazed at me .. managing a smile n blush on her cheek... When I again replied to Maa..
"Mom I said Na it's too early n we r not ready..."
She was still looking down serving us... I know .. what she is going through.. taunts n moreover being a human she is overcoming her desires .. not a word she ever says , just for me... Her growing depression .. I know she needs me n i am trying my level best .. i was looking at her ..
"Laksh ji aapko kuch chahiye..." She quized almost suppressing her tears .. with an almost chocked voice...
"Nahi.." I looked down...
I looked up again n saw the plate in her hand trembling... I immediately held it when she lost her conscious...
I rushed to her .. held her in my arms n called the doctor.. my mom is almost smiles thinking about her conceiving but I know it isn't because of this...
I saw the hopes in the eyes of Maa papa dieing when the doctor concluded it as the fever...
I feeded her .. in complete silence.. whe. Spoke ..
"Laksh ji humari dawai khatam ho gayi h..." I looked at her guilty...
"Han woh mein.. I will get it.." I said forwarding another spoon to her mouth when she nodded in denial...
I couldn't speak to her,coukdn't meet her eyes, I am the cause she is taking antidepressant drugs... I am the reason of her suffering ...
It's because of my guilt and mistakes.. she is in this stage.. I don't want her to get dependent on these medicines..
I have been planning holidays but all were my failure plans ..
"I am sorry Ragini..." I whispered n left. ... She looked at me but I had no guts to turn back .. all I could hear was her sobs...
All I can do is to pray.. we r in absolute darkness... It is my only wish is we can see a day of hope...
Laksh POV-ends
A month Later
In Shimla
Sanskaar POV-
Aayush- yeh.. papa is calling us.. jiju I am so excited...
Sa- Han aayu...
Sh- hello shekhar...
After a few seconds i saw Maa coming to us . Her eyes were moist...
Sh- aayu...
Au- Maa papa ne call kiya Na.. then y didn't u let me talk..
Sh-(wet voice) ( pics aayu up n make him sit in her lap..) aayu woh next week papa nahi aayenge ...
Au- (almost crying)- kyun .. he comes just once in a year n that too on my b.day n this Time I won't meet him there too...
His eyes filled with tears...Swara sat n wipped them...
Sa- aayu Babu koi reason hogi...
Sh- aayu beta papa has injury in his leg n can't even walk ...
He became sad n ran to me. ...
Au- jiju kuch karo na I want to meet papa...
I wiped his tears..
Sa- okay baby ... Aayu we will go n meet him.
He looked at me with slowly happiness taking over his sadness...
Au-sachi jiju...
Sa- Han Babu
Au- I love u .. u r the best jiju in the world
n started jumping when all the eyes shifted to me..
I got up n embraced Maa.
Sh- u know Na sanskaar I don't want to meet that lady (dadi) again...
Sa- I know Maa ... U don't worry I will manage... But u pls come with us... Me u n swara will go to Kolkata with aayu...
Su- Han sharmishta ji. ... It will be better... Aayu needs his father's love .. pls be strong for him ..
MAa noded as mom convenienced her ...
But still she had tears ... Swara took her to her room... I moved to Ayush
Sanskaar POV-ends
Sh- swara
Sw- bolo Maa
Sh- I am sorry u had to live without a father ..
Sw-(cuts in b/w)- Maa papa n mom they r also my parents n I don't need anyone else.. sachi.. sanskaar k papa .. he have filled the gap I had ... N moreover Mr Shekhar Gadodia I won't ever forgive him for what he did to u... He betrayed twice n I won't tolerate it.. never ..
Sanskaar POV-
I made Ayush sleep n placed her near to Maa on the bed... Uttara too entered there she was also tired .. I signalled her to sleep when she said she has to study...
I slowly whispered-" time batade I will wake u up... "
Ut- (teasing slowly) I don't trust u kya pata u have a deep sleep after ur ahem ahem... Romance n forget to wake me up...
My mouth fell open...
When she smirked naughty n ran out...
Sa- kya boli.. what did u say..
I held her ear n she fakely winced in pain
Hearing me swara too came out
Sw-Sanskaar...kyun .. y r u torturing ur siso..
Sa- siso.. oh god .. she is too much nowadays...
Ut- have u ever seen ur face when u look at Bhabhi Han.. as if a kid looking at Lollipop..
Swara too blushed .. she cheeks flush red n me I was lost in her red face n blushes...
Ut- see I was r8...
N hide behind swara...
Su- sanskaar Na dekh Jo thara man ho woh kar par Na mahre ko ek Na pyara sa pota ya poti dede...
Sa- ask ur bahu to support me... N we can try ...
I winked at swara who looked like red tomatoe...
Su- kyun sharmishta ji...
Sh- Han ji bilkul... There should be someone to call me Nani as well...
Ut- ohohohoho... Hum Tum ek kamre mein band ho... Aur chabi kho jaye...
Sa- uttara u.. now what did u say..
Ut- (running)- Aree I said nothing I was singing a song ...
Sa- I know everything samjhi...
Ut- I was supporting mom n shomi aunty...
Sh- bilkul...
Ram- bas bas .. it's too much don't u dare tease my daughter anymore... Wese bhi like her slim n smart...
Su-Aree par mahra pota poti..
Ram- swara sochle u will become a stuff potato like sujata...
Su- haye bhagwan sanskaar dekha na tune k kaha thare papa ne.. mein aloo jesi hoon..
Ut- papa wah u r so accurate...
Sw- uttara. .. papa... (To suju) mom u r very beautiful...
su- huh.. ask them (points to uttara n ram ) to say sorry.. n repeat ur words or I won't eat anything...
Ram- sanskaar Congo today we will save 1 month ration...
Sa- Papa u r too much...
Ram- acha ask ur mom ki .. mere saath dinner date p chalengi..
Su- Na...
Ram- kyun...
Su- (showing her tongue) me n Ayush are already going for kulfi n puchka date tommorow so ur appointment cancelled.. samjhe... Woh woh swara kese kehti h.. haan.. Samjhe Mr Maheshwari.. n I hate u..
All were surprised seeing suju ... N laughed at her antics...
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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