Chapter 2:
Unfortunately there was a landslide and the train was halted in the middle of nowhere for close to 10 hours. People were shouting and utter chaos reigned. I was worried as I wondered how I could get the message through to Venkat about the delay. What could I do? He would come all the way from Ooty. I was going crazy with worry. I hoped that he would call ahead and inquire from the station, before he left. Since there was nothing I could really do, I distracted myself by chatting with the ladies, and played with the child sometimes. I read my book sometimes, sometimes got lost in my thoughts.
No one slept at night as everyone was worked up about the delay. As the train finally started and the ladies who were travelling with me settled down to sleep, I climbed the top berth and switched off the lights. Might as well get some sleep.
I thought back to the time when I got married and entered Venkat's house for the first time. The one evening and night I spent there. The evening was spent in rituals and at night, as I apprehensively waited for him, he sent me a message that he was sleeping in the other room and I should prepare my bags and sleep early as I had an early morning train. I was too relieved and too much into my journey back to my dear college to even think about it.
Venkat's family consists of his parents, 2 brothers and a teen-aged sister. Being the eldest son, he had taken over the business and expanded it. At least that's as much as I gathered from our short phone conversations. They were a closely knit family.
Wait, why did I keep referring to them as "his" family? They were now my family as well, right? Only it all feels strange. I cannot connect to them. I have barely seen them. They have been my family for the past year and half, yet I hardly remember their faces. I even avoided going home when I got a 3 months' summer vacation last year. I told Venkat that I wanted to do a course in music at Sri Aurobindo Ashram, along with one of my classmates. Venkat, as always allowed me.
Had I wanted to learn music? Really? Or had I wanted to escape? Escape from the reality of my marriage? Yes I wanted to avoid facing him! How had he taken it? He had accepted my request but what had he felt? Hadn't he seen through my excuse? What he thought about me? Was he looking forward to my return? Didn't he resent my giving preference to music, over spending time with him?
And what about me? I've now gotten my degree - which was more than what most women in my community could boast of. Now what? Settle down in the role of a wife? Be a good daughter-in-law and sister-in-law? After all, that's what every girl had to do, degree or no degree!
As the train rolled lazily into the Mettupalayam station, I am startled! Had I reached already? I didn't even realize! I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep! Anyways, I got down from my berth and rushed over to the toilets and hurriedly freshened up. As I was washing my face, the train came to a complete halt. I hurried out and called a porter to take my luggage. I got down and bade bye to my co-passengers after running my hand on the child's head, as they left. I am apprehensive as I wait there. Venkat had told me to wait at the platform itself.
"Anni!"
I heard someone shouting. "Anni!", again I heard. I looked up and saw a young boy and a teenage girl coming towards me. Are they actually coming towards me? I looked around confused, wondering whom they are calling. Then I looked at them again. They looked somewhat familiar. Oh! I realized that they are Venkat's siblings. No, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law? Whatever, I don't want to reflect right now.
By this time, they have both reached me and greeted me awkwardly. I returned the greetings and we start walking out of the platform. As soon as the porter put my luggage in the trunk, Balakrishna got into the passenger seat, with the driver, as I and Jayanitha settle in the back seat of the fiat. He said awkwardly, "Anni, there is a tiffin at the back, is it okay if we can start the journey? Or would you like to stop and have dinner first?"
I replied, "It's okay, we can start." And I took the tiffin and opened it. I started serving on the 3 plates that accompanied the tiffin. As I passed them the prepared plates, I was surprised. How easily I had fallen into my role as the responsible sister-in-law, serving them food like I had seen my mother doing all her life! We all silently finished the meal and I let my mind wander again. Why Venkat hadn't come to pick me up? Was he angry or disappointed in me? Should I have gone home last summer? Had that hurt him so much?
I was jolted out of my reverie by Jaya asking me something about my college. Though it began awkwardly, the conversation later followed smoothly between the two of us, with Bala throwing a sentence or two in between. I never realized when more than two and a half hours passed and we reached their home. As I saw it, I vaguely recollected what a big house they had. Wait. It was my home too now! Yes, the earlier I accept my new life, the better!
My mother-in-law appeared at the door to do the welcoming ritual at the door. I smiled and paid my respects to her and my father-in-law. As I entered, I saw him in the hall. Venkat gave me a soft smile with a nod as he guided the driver to put my luggage in his, no, our room.
I hesitantly asked my father-in-law permission to call my parents. He nodded and Venkat lead me to the phone in a corner of the hall. I looked sideways at him, but he was looking straight ahead. He dialed the number and handed the receiver to me. I don't know why, I lower my head and try not to touch his hand as I take it.
Everyone had been just waiting for us to arrive before retiring for the night. Jaya and a maid guided me through the house as they showed me the various rooms, kitchen and bathroom, before retiring to their respective rooms. As I went to our room to unpack, so that I could take a bath and then get that much needed sleep, I wassurprised. Venkat was nowhere seen in the room, but on the bed, was a beautiful red Kanjeevaram saree and a fresh flower garland for hair (gajra). Oh God! I groaned to myself I was already sleep-deprived, not having slept for 2 nights in a row and now this!
But I had been married to Venkat, right? So, this aspect was, after all, an important part of life. I had escaped all this for a year and a half. So, how could I deny now? How could I tell him, I need time? I had already taken advantage of his goodness, by not coming home last summer. Stifling a yawn, I took the saree and moved towards the bathroom.
Usually a confident person, I was suddenly nervous. I dint know what lay ahead for me that night. From the accounts of my friends, it could be the most embarrassing, uncomfortable and painful night for me. Yes, the experience could even be good, if Venkat was tender and understanding, though still painful and embarrassing. His soft smile for me when I had entered, reassured me to an extent.
With butterflies in my stomach and my heart racing, I went to my room. I combed and tied my long hair and weaved the flowers in my hair. I put on the jewelry, powdered my face and colored my lips with a mild red lipstick. I looked into the mirror apprehensively. Would Venkat like me? Should I put some kaajal or something? Hesitating, I took the kaajal.
I was sitting on the bed waiting for him. I thought about him. Venkat had a very manly physique. He had soft eyes and well-defined facial features. He was handsome in a rugged kind of way, not your movie hero kind of way. I thought back to the weekly conversations I had regularly had with him. I did enjoy talking to him, after the initial hesitation and awkwardness. He was intelligent even though he was just metric passed. I was often surprised at his practical knowledge and the way he could talk on just about any topic. Did I love him? Perhaps? No, I hardly knew him! Another part of me said, but he was my husband. And a woman is supposed to love her husband, right?
The next thing I knew, I am waking up to the sun-rays coming in through the windows. With a start I got up. I had slept off? On my nuptial night? Holy goodness!
I looked around and saw him sleeping in the arm-chair. He looked so much like a child, sleeping. I noiselessly moved towards him. I raised my hand to touch his head. But I held myself back. No, perhaps he was already angry with me. And, now if I were to disturb his sleep too. Argh! I groaned. Why did I have to start my relationship on such a bad note! First I didn't come in summer and now this! What would he think about me? What if he complained to my parents and said he doesn't want me? What would I do then?
With a million thoughts running through my mind, I performed my ablutions and went to the kitchen to see to my duties as a daughter-in-law. I couldn't afford to mess up there as well. I stood there confused as I saw my mother-in-law directing the servant. How was I supposed to help? I hadn't been to kitchen in 3 years! I was utterly confused.
Finally, I hesitantly asked my mother-in-law, if I could make something myself for everyone's breakfast? She was happy to hear that and nodded affirmatively. I had almost finished making Adail and dosas, with sambhar and necessary chutneys, when Jaya came to the kitchen, wished me and told the servant that Venkat had ordered tea. My mother-in-law stopped the servant and took the tea from him. She gave me the tea and told me, it was now my duty to take care of my husband. With a blush, I moved towards our room. I opened the door without knocking and saw that Venkat was just finishing dressing up. I felt awkward and turned back to go.
"Nadiya" he said and I was instantly reminded of the purring way in which he uttered my name for the first time.
"ye.. yes." I stammered as I kept the tea on the bed, "Tea." I said.
He slowly came and sat on the bed as I kept my gaze on my feet. "You had tea?" he asked as took the tea-cup in his hand.
I shook my head.
"Bring your tea here. I want to talk about something."
"I.. am.. I.." I was stammering like a fool as I thought about apologizing for last night. I wanted to tell him, to tell me whatever he wanted.
It was then that it happened! I shuddered involuntarily as he gently touches my shoulder and said softly, "please relax! Go, get your tea."
I nodded and rushed outside. I had calmed myself to some extent and had a little smile on my face thinking of his gentle touch, as I returned with my tea. But one look at him had once again unnerved me.
He beckoned me to sit on the bed where he was drinking his tea. I gingerly sat on the edge of the bed. He simply kept looking at me with a mild smile playing on his lips. I suddenly turned the other way. I blurted out somehow, "I am sorry about last night!", got up from the bed and was about to rush out, when he did it again! This time, he held my hand and made me sit back.
"I didn't call you to talk about that, we have the entire life for that, and many many nights ahead of us."
I blushed to the roots of my hair at this.
Giving me time to recover, he said, "so, now you have your degree. What do you plan next?"
I looked up at him confused, "I.. I just wanted my degree. Now I just want.." I didn't know how to complete the sentence. I didn't know what went wrong since I came here. I was quite comfortable talking to him on phone. Why was I tongue-tied now, when I was face to face with him?
He completed my sentence for me, "You just want to be at home?"
I nodded.
"Remember, I told you letting you study wasn't a completely selfless decision on my part?"
I nodded again, suddenly apprehensive. Payback time, was it? My education hasn't come free after all. He let me go, instead of wanting me to fulfill my duties as a wife and daughter-in-law. Now I will have to pay for his sacrifices.
"I need you to do something for me. In fact, I have been waiting for you so that you can start on that."
"what can I do?" I asked nervously.
"It's difficult to explain. I will of course need to talk to Appa about it. But, first I need your permission. Its difficult, but let me explain. I have an endeavor to undertake and I cannot do it, without your help. There's a.."
"Anni, breakfast is laid." We heard Jaya's voice outside our room.
"Coming!" Venkat shouted.
As I got up to leave, he said, "Nadiya? Wait.."
I didn't want to wait. It would be awkward if I am late, besides everyone knew I was in our room with him, what would they think?
"I will be happy to do whatever you want", with that, I again tried to leave the room.
"But.. its not going to be easy!"
"That's okay, I will manage" Though curiosity and a certain dread raked at my heart, the prospect of possible embarrassment was topmost on my mind at that moment.
"Are you sure? Should I talk to Appa?"
I gave a hurried nod before rushing out.
As everyone settled down in the kitchen and started eating, they praised my dishes. I smiled as I accepted the appreciation, though my heart was sinking. Why did I feel such a sense of dread, gnawing at me?
"Appa", he began, "Can I take Nadiya to office from today? She can work in the morning and I will bring her back when I come for lunch."
This was too confusing. He wanted me in his office? Why? What did he want me to there that was so difficult?
My father-in-law looked up, "WHAT?! What would she do there, Venkat?"
"As you know Appa, she now has a degree in commerce. And as you know I left my education to take care of my business. Now, I need someone whom I can trust to check our accountants."
Relief surged over me! That was all I needed to do? And here I was getting so scared. How was thwat difficult? I guess it was difficult to convince Appa about it. But, as breakfast was at an end, Appa finally relented, though reluctantly.
I got ready and we left. Venkat told the driver not to come and he would drive. I had butterflies in my stomach as I got into the passenger seat. We would be alone in the car for the first time and be able to talk freely.
However, as he drove, Venkat was quiet. As I glanced sideways at him, he wore a very serious expression. Was there some serious problem in his business accounts?
I was surprised when he drove into a lowly residential area. Maybe that was the way to his office. I told myself. We passed a few depilated residential buildings and even some huts. The car stopped in front of a small house. It was in a much better condition compared to the neighborhood. I'm surprised!
Before I could ask him something, he asked me solemnly looking straight into my eyes, "Nadiya, do you trust me?"
I don't hesitate, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. I nod and say softly but confidently, "yes, but why..?"
Before I could finish, he interrupted me, "because sometimes, what meet the eyes is not true. And no matter what you see, keep your trust on me. I won't betray your trust Nadiya!"
I nod apprehensively and he continues, "I lied to Appa! You will not come to office. I will drop you here daily morning and pick you up in the afternoon."
It takes me a full minute to digest that. He is waiting patiently for my reaction. I sigh, "and what will I do here?"
He didn't reply immediately. He got down and opened the door for me. I got down, "but..?"
"Let's go inside and you will understand everything."
We ring the bell, and the door is opened by a woman wearing a pale yellow saree. She looked my age and seemed North-Indian. Venkat smiled at her, "Chanda, how are you?"
She smiled back, "I am fine. How are you?"
"I am fine too." He looks at me, "Nadiya this is Chanda, she has completed schooling as an external student, and I have enrolled her in B.Com as an external student as well." I look at her utterly confused as he says to her, "this is Nadiya and she will help you with your studies. She will come here every morning for a few hours. And Nadiya, I want her to clear her exams at the first attempt itself. So you both have to work hard."
I am utterly lost by now, but Chanda greets me warmly,
"And before I forget, here's money for the next month's expenses" he says to her as places an envelope on the table. Just then, we hear a shout,
"Ayya! You have come, Ayya? Did you bring chocolate for me?" A 3-4 year old child ran and hugged Venkat's legs!
Ayya! The child called him Ayya? Wasn't that supposed to be a way to address one's father? Besides Chanda wasn't Tamil.
"Yes, my baby!" Venkat picked up the child affectionately and gave him a chocolate, "here's your chocolate, my little one!"
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i hope you all like this, i have tried to keep the South-Indian essence intact, though i don't know anything about that region, being a North-Indian myself.
Thanks Saran for the help with the words and also my index.
Fan Fictions
Anupamaa
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