So I have a few questions today...
Just based on WU...
Self respect kya hai? I quickly googled, and found this meaning:
pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity.
Does Sumo really have self respect? Does she respect herself enough? Except when in PCT, and cooking... no she does not. She has , with the Tiwaris in particular, never questioned, or stood up for herself, no matter what. Preeti who suddenly is an adarsh bahu never even made a cup of her lemon detox water every morning, it was Suman making it for her. Suman is blamed left right and center by everyone, and it hurts her, but she does not do anything about it ever. She soaks it all in.
Does she behave with honor and dignity? Always? May be yes, she does. But as I think Anjali pointed out earlier, she couldn't flex a bit for the wedding ring but then gladly took Adi's help during the lehnga thing. I know she didn't know at the time, but that single incident is the biggest inconsistency in her character in my mind - when she wears that lehnga, without giving Adi a piece of her mind and the money. Jo Shravan ko pasand wo thik... so then Shravan also said, dont wear that lehnga because it is against your self respect, the color doesn't suit you... right?
Self respect means proper respect for yourself as a human being. Suman barely respects herself (as seen in her acceptance of both Adi and Shravan). She is quick to trust, quick to forgive, and those are good traits, but she doesn't really respect herself enough to make decisions for herself where it matters most.
In fact, most of Sumo's Self Respect Jaap as we love to call it stems from her streak to be starkingly independent. She does not want help. I do not necessarily equate independence with self respect, though I know from personal experience it easy to confuse the two.
She does not want help , period. Until she is pushed to. If she wants help she clearly wants to be told that it was given to her due to her ability, and not as help. This is because, she has forever been made to realize of how she has been provided for by her Mami who had to make several personal sacrifices for her. So, she has this thing in her, I do not want anyone's help, I am self sufficient.
Her work, her PCT is her entrepreneurial venture. She runs it. So, she does not have to adjust there, like she would have to if this was a job. That means, again, she is in an all reigns mode, she can give people orders, and call the shots. It boosts her self image, when she is in PCT when she can feel important (sometimes in ways that are not required... like for example the daal ka tadka... I get it that she has her own touch, but you know she is seeking these assurances from others... because she has low self esteem). PCT is like an esteem booster for her. She has always had esteem issues (as a kid she did not want to be seen with a nerd), and this has continued now.
With ShraMan I hope, she also overcomes her demons and grows to love herself for what she is and truly grows some self respect.
I also hope that while she learns to stand up for herself (where it is truly required, like against Ramnath), she also learns that in love, it is okay to share yourself a little, let go and take help. That it is okay to tread the path of compromise, and that it does not have to be my way or the highway. Today, she did make a very valid offer though - with the reception idea. I give it to her for that. This would have been such a happy compromise. But, unfortunately Shravan's stubbornness took over.
Eventually Suman needs to learn that having self respect means having a regard for one's position but also being able to respect that of others. And Shravan needs to see this aspect of her nature. Both Shravan and Sumo do things to hurt each other to protect themselves. BOTH. Shravan perhaps in more disgusting ways than Sumo but both do it. They need to grow together in this... and they will.
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Jaane Anjaane Hum Mile
Tum Se Tum Tak
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Vasudha
