Suman : In QUEST of self respect - Page 2

Originally posted by: iamknown2u

I saw a lot of posts regarding Sumo's self respect jaap. Here are my views. Please bare with me for a long post

What is Self respect? Isn't this a very subjective question. Opinions will vary from person to person. But certainly its the incidents in our lives that define it for us.

An accident changed her life. It was untimely demise of her parents that forced Suman, a six year old kid move to a new home, her maternal uncles home. Her family now was her Mama-Mami, Mausa-Mausi, little Preeti and beloved Naanu. It was Maami who took the place of her mother and took very good care of her.

Maami a middle class home maker, could not just forget the 22 lakhs by her given to Sumos mother Priya. She can not be called wrong for that, the amount is too huge for a middle class family.! With Priya not around, Sumo was a constant reminder of the loan for Maami.

A young Sumo would not have understood this, but she surely saw it as she grew. So for Sumo, replacement of mothers love came at a cost of constant taunts about her mother. She could not deny that her Maami loved her, there was no doubt about it. But she certainly could not ignore the taunts too. It was Maamis this behaviour that defined Sumo's definition of Self respect. "When someone loves you, that doesnt mean the person respects you". She had love, but wanted to earn respect.
That she could only do by repaying the loan. So indirectly MONEY has always been the means of earning self respect for her. When-ever someone tries to help her financially, she conciense reminds her of her ongoing quest for SELF-RESPECT.

Have we ever seen Sumo hesitate to take help in any other matters except money? Certainly not. She ran behind Shravan even when he humiliated her constantly without caring about what people around think about her. Most of us would have called it a blow to self respect. But thats not how Sumo defines it. But at the same time any help that came during Preekar wedding from Ramanth/Shravan was pushed back. Reason : She was offered money to do the same. She denied PCT when it comes from Malhotras, it was snatched from her and was given back for free.

Sumo's experiences with life have pushed her to have this kind of opinion about Self respect, only her further experiences can change it. I am not saying her opinion is wrong, but its definitely half-baked. Its now to be seen , what kind of effect the marriage has on her definition as she is pitted against Shravan. Its not necessary to say that the Rich Shravan will always have an upper hand above Sumo in money matters. It would be intersting to see Sumo's opinion being changed.

PS : I feel in today's marriage discussion at PCT, Shravan was right. He even said PLEASE😲
That's some sensible action by Shravan in a very long time. So though Sumo is justified in having the above opinion about self-respect, I want Shravan to change her outlook towards it.

Originally posted by: mayasingh

I have a feeling she would agreed to Shravan if both of them had confessed their love..

Since that is not the case she doesn't want any favor

Shravan is not realizing that...

She would have even accepted the cheque from Ramnath for Preethi happiness if Ramnath had not put a price on it

Originally posted by: rima

But then aren't such women just doormats. Yes Sumo can go easy on self respect but why is it so difficult for the other partner to understand this one aspect of her when she has understood and accepted all his crap including all his public humiliation?

It works both ways and it is time for Indian women to learn from strong heroines

Originally posted by: spacenoxx

The thing here is that Sumo is extremely sensitive regarding money matters. Even more do with Shravan. Maybe because she used to always be the taker and Shravan the giver during their childhood, she probably has doubts regarding his respect for her. However in the process of protecting that self respect she has become rigid and uncompromising.

She is currently in my money, my family, my self-respect. Shravan isn't yet part of the "my"and if this continues he wont ever be. Marriage means our money, our family, our self-respect.

I wonder what would she do post marriage if they go on a dinner date. Would she offer to pay her half and if not... Why not??

Originally posted by: naaju

jst to bend doesnt mean being door mat...being happy and having peace in lyf is more important...rather tna sticking on so called self respect...wat did nirmala gt from self respect her only son hates her...and other son is a molester..

suman only thinks of her and her family's respect nt malhotra's respect..dint kamini beared insult at pushkar wedding...even malhotras have some dream for their sons...

v talk abt women emancipation den why shud women bear all d marriage expenses ..if boy is willing to do it den let him do it...its a welcome change for d society at large..nanu dint think twice before asking guru dakshina from ramnath indirectly making suman heiress to all ramnath's property...where is d self respect den...its becos nanu cares for suman more den his self respect...

if she is so concerned abt self respect den marry a boy of her own status why richy rich shravan malhotra..becos after marriage she is going to get all luxuries in her lyf...and she jst thinks abt herslef nt others..which is wrong..everytym u cant expect others to bend for ur wishes...

Originally posted by: rima

SeriouslyYou think Suman only thinks of herself and marrying Shravan for money? Then I have nothing to say because have not understood Suman's character at all.
You are contradicting yourself by saying she wants shravan's money and doesn't want it too

Shravan treated their marriage like crap yesterday and any woman would be id by his careless attitude to marriage

Originally posted by: rima

It is my money my family for all till marriage? How is shravan different? He is also into my dad, my family.

I know women who will never change about taking money from spuse even if they let their hubby share their money they will try to pay for their own expenses.

There is nothing wrong in that. Again it is an Indian mindset that the man should pay and we should let them.

It is fine to be one's own woman. And love is beyond such things. If it is her character he should just accept it