love teaches us to endure...

it was a hard earned journey for dev to be calling sona as sonakshi from the time wen she used to say dr. bose for u...it was a journey so beautiful and his most precious gift to himself after years of sacrifice and hard labor only to relieve his mom and sisters from miseries of poverty...for dev his ma is his world beyond which another world of dreams, love and colors existed he only got to know that thru the eyes of sona...the day he realized he is in love he found a new himself...with sona he found a new meaning of life and wen he used to say to her that he wants to spend every moment with her i guess he wanted to compensate for not being able to come to terms with the new himself all these years...with sona he also gets to know his own self as a being other than a son and brother...he now recognizes himself as a woman's man and so although he still considers ishwari as his world it is sona who has become embedded in his heart and blood...
but he lost sona today and with that he lost a part of his soul...

now coming to friday's episode...

this epi reminds me of a quote by John Green, "You can love someone so much...But you can never love people as much as you can miss them"

ishwari saying ab mein bilkul thik hoon...hard to believe that a mother insists on being fine because her son has sacrificed the love of his life...ishwari loves to stay in a blissful state of believing that her son cannot hv any dreams or cravings beyond the world inhabited by the two of them...wen dev brings her home her eyes r fixed on his face trying to search if there is any remnant of grief after losing sona...but dev has learnt things the hard way...he is not going to let ma look into his eyes...as he pretends to be normal and laugh and smile he makes a conscious effort that the facade that he is wearing doesnt become transparent enuf for ishwari to look into his eyes...wen ishwari brings up sona's topic dev very clearly states he ended the relationship because they r not compatible...dev has learnt the way to lie so that his mom stays with her illusion that everything is alrite...he wont ever let her know that his life is in shreds...a son will never share the deepest hurt he feels...a son will never show the deepest wounds he is enduring...ishwari has finally lost her son...

as neha shows ishwari the mirror...as neha tells her whether she will ever be able to accept any girl in bhai's life ishwari insists that losing sona will hv no effect on her son...for her devakshi relationshp was just a 4 day relationship that can be easily forgotten...but for dev it was a journey of dreams and love...

the phn convo was beautiful and i actually find no words...the pain of broken relationship is like a spear that gives deepest kind of pain as it pierces the core of the heart...as the restless dev calls her he knows not wat he is going to say but obviously he cannot let a day go by widout hearing her voice...as she refuses to speak first he calls her sonakshi and then pauses for one response which he does not get...as he thanks her for ma's report sona asks him y he called...as dev feels bold enuf to say he doesnt need any excuse to call her she refutes him by saying that rule doesnt exist any more since they hv broken up...as she utters those words dev's expression reflects the unbearable grief and loneliness that engulf him instantly...the little hope that he had that sona wud keep her promise of never leaving him even if he leaves her gets shattered at once...as they bid goodbye to each other sona reminds him that they r strangers now and so insists on being called as dr.bose...dev's grief was palpable...

mamaji telling him sons have hearts too seemed so fake to me considering bose family where it seems sona's every tear is like blood drop for her family while in the case of dev his mom doesnt even want to acknowledge that his son has lost the ability to smile for life...
as dev and sona weeps the scene can bring tears in anyone's eyes...only by bringing miles between them they hv realized that they hv been living in each other's hearts in the last 3 months and now they r literally homeless...

the final ishwari-dev scene gives a new definition to mother-son relationship...so calmly she states to dev the pain is new as if he suffered an accident...as she states that he is like a mountain that no storm can hurt dev looks into her eyes with his own empty eyes...in a single day dev has learnt to look at his mom with eyes devoid of emotions...the dev whose eyes always carried adoration toward his mom is now cold and empty...but ishwari immersed in her own illusion that everything is now alrite cant even realize that she has lost her son...she feared that if sona remained in dev's life then she wud lose her son...she will now realize soon by going away sona has taken the soul of her son with her...

old habits die hard...the final dev scene reminds me of this old proverb...reminds me wen he once stealthily recorded her likes and dislikes...today he does the same but this time her words r affirming the end of their relationship...as he throws away the phn to stop the words he soon realizes that with that he will be losing her voice too...as tina insists on getting him a new phn dev so desparately states there is something in this phn...something which he cant afford to lose at any cost...

dev has always taken pride in his mom and for her he has uncomplainingly sacrificed his childhood years and labored through the growing up years only to make her happy...given the chance dev will sacrifice hazaro sona for her...but ishwari needs to learn that dev is not made of flesh and blood only but also a heart that beats only for sona...as long as ishwari doesnt acknowledge that she will never get back her son...