Posted:
So I've decided I can't torture myself by catching up on the show yet. The jail track will break my heart, and what ishra are doing will break my heart, so I'm waiting to watch all these episodes till reunion time. I thought I'd try to catch up but it's too painful right now. Ah me and Raman are both emotional fools😆
So in the mean time here's a post on the tiny but I did see, today's precap.
For a man unwilling to say what he truly feels, Raman is even more transparent than Ishita.
Raman and Ishita are in such a confused space right now. The minute they see a glimmer of hope, light at the end of the tunnel, they cling to one another. They seek each other to rejoice. The misunderstandings, the anger, the jealousy, it's all forgotten.
And then he, more than she, remembers again, and jealousy over mani comes into the picture, like it did for him this morning.
And even in pain, Raman doesn't let anyone in, yet once again, he does let Ishita support him. He can't just shrug her off when she encourages him,unlike everyone else. Everyone else, they are still kept at a distance.
Today in their exchange we saw that again. We saw Raman and Ishita share a light hearted moment and rejoice about Ruhi too. And just before Raman was jealous about mani and her interaction.
They keep lapsing into what their relationship was, of a husband and wife. And then someone else comes to remind them that's no longer the case.
At ruhi's party, Raman and Ishita aren't dancing together. Mani and Shagun stand in their way. Yet, Raman's eyes are constantly on Ishita, who is in someone else's arms. But that very day, the ones they seek to lean on at ruhi's rejection and rejoice at her acceptance are each other.
And this is what I think the prcap referred to in today's episode.
They keep doing it. Whether it's Ishita giving Raman a back massage, or Raman teasing Ishita about changing in front of him. They want to be husband and wife, and they're getting used to it all over again.
And therefore, after they do something parents, couples do together, that is they visit their child's teacher, he has to remind himself again.
The fact that Ishita introduces herself as pihu's maasi brings him crashing down to reality again.
And he thinks, Ishita will leave. She'll leave me all over again. And my heart will break all over again.
So Raman does what he does best. He deflects the pain, and in an attempt to remind himself this is temporary he says it to Ishita.
And look at the words he uses. Raman has always been terrified of this. This is what he feels. That she loves his family, considers it as hers, but that she left HIM.
He never says she left the family, and only once or twice has he remarked about the kids. Rather, he says, she left me. And the first time mani came round he used these very words. She loves my brother, my sister, my parents, my daughter, it's just me she doesn't.
So when he talks to Ishita, not only does he try to desperately gauge her reaction to those words, he reminds himself. This woman, the love of your life, left you. And she never came back for you. Actually, the only reason she came back to you, was your daughter, not you.
When Raman left the room after joking with Ishita he was happy. Then reality dawned when Ishita couldn't introduce herself as pihu's mother.
And so their behaviour is this confused mix of what they want to be true, and what is true.
So yes, I actually think Raman Kumar Bhalla is becoming more and more transparent. The glimpses of his pain at Ishita leaving him are manifesting into his behaviour.
Sirf Ruhi ke liye he tells her before she moves in, searching her eyes.
And sirf Ruhi ke liye he says in tomorrow's episode, reminding himself. She'll leave eventually Raman, he tells himself.
Anupamaa
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