NiBir Story-My Hell My Heaven epilogue up - Page 23

Time started following and we kept receiving our share of happiness and sadness. My life had become a roller coaster of emotions. Kabir had become my sole reason of happiness. He use to pamper me, listen to each and every order of mine, and love me the most in this world. For him his world use to start with me and end with me. On the other hand I had Arjun, who was just opposite of kabir, short tempered, sadist and yes not to forget a MCP of highest order. For him I was his housemate but still he use to order me around, and himself never even use to move a leg. If ever I use to argue saying I am not his maid, first he will give a lecture on what is the actual position of a women and then if I further not listen to him, he use to beat me. I was brought up in a liberal family, my mom dad never differentiated between me and my brother and thus accepting his ideologies that women are born to stay in the four walls of the house and all, listen to his every order was not my thing. I many times use to feel them as a slap on my self respect but then the physical pain he use to give for not listening to him was much more than the pain to my self respect hence after three - four times I stopped arguing with him.

Here whenever kabir use to know about his deeds I had to console him too. He use to be more broken than me. I use to get scars on my body whereas kabir on his heart and soul. Like this 2 weeks of our marriage passed. Both of us had already rejoined our office. I remember asking kabir to change his workplace back to next to me, but he use to reply that if we sit next to each other now than no one of us could work, so true was that. After reaching home, most of the times it use to be kabir who use to cook while I use to sit on kitchen counter watch him cook, help him in chopping and all and even earn few things as they use to come helpful whenever Arjun use to take over my kabir.

Our one month anniversary was coming and we both decided to celebrate it. Ya I know no one celebrates one month anniversary but for us it was different we had gone through so many emotions that I don't think any married couple would have gone even in one year of their marriage. I wanted to go on a movie date but we could not get the tickets, than kabir decided that we will celebrate it in our house only. We had decided that we both will take half day from office and then cook together, he had promised that we will have my fav pasta for dinner and then have a peaceful dinner on our bed watching my fav movies. I was daam excited for this and literally prayed to god to keep Arjun away atleast that day but to my hard luck kabir never came that day. The day I waited and planned so much for turned out to be a worst day of my life.

As we had decided I took a half day but he did not and I realised it is Arjun becoz kabir can never forget it. I reached our house, got fresh and waited for him but no sign of him. It was already one hour since I had arrived. I was heartbroken and very irritated though kabir had no mistake in it but still this could not let my anger down. Sighing and knowing that the one who will come will most probably be Arjun I went to make some dinner coz if he shouts or does something I would not be able to control my anger and it will then end up in a beating from him coz my strength is no match to him and I definitely didn't wanted that. It was already 8 the usual time we reach home and 20 mins later the door bell rang. I opened the door and found it was Arjun, he straight went to the room to freshen up. He already looked irritated and angry I didn't know why. I sat on the sofa switching channels after laying the dinner for him. He came and sat on the table and started having his food. My eyes got filled with tears. I wanted to spend the day with kabir, and name it in our name but sadly I was sitting alone switching TV channels. My chain of thoughts were broken with a loud noise, I looked to see that the entire dinners, plates, everything was on floor and Arjun was glaring at me, but that day I could not control my irritation and anger which was my biggest mistake. "what the hell is wrong with u?" I shouted on him "lower or voice or the consequences won't be good" "just shut who the hell do u think u r hain, some minister, some god that u always order me and I keep listening" I said pointing my finger towards him. He walked towards me, his anger was clearly visible, he had my hand and twisted it back, I cried in pain. "leave my hand" I shouted "I said lower ur voice no one has a right to talk to me like that especially not a girl...u can't even cook proper food which is ur main work and shouting on me?" he said twisting my hand further. "listen I am ur housemate not ur maid or servant, I am not even supposed to do something for u but still if I do it appreciate it." I told him. " I am the boss here and u will have to listen to me" "I don't belong to u" I said pushing him away with all my strength , he stumbled back and fell on the ground. "I am nether ur family, nor ur wife nor ur daughter nor girlfriend that I listen to u, they might do but wont" I said to him emphasizing each and every word so he gets the message clearly. Something had gotten into me that day, I was clearly told by everyone including doc never to provoke Arjun or else his control becomes stronger and his behaviour just like father who use to get more nasty with disapprovals, but that they I just could not stop myself. As I started walking away from there to spend some lone time outside, he held me from back and pinned me to the world. "what did u say u don't belong to me thus u won't follow my orders, fine today I will make u fine." My eyes widened with horror. I protested to get away from his hold but he pulled me into the bedroom and forced and raped me there. My cries, my wails never fell to his ears and the dark night passed with my cries and wails.

He had already fallen asleep while I was sobbing lying on the bed with tattered clothes. Walked into the washroom and puked my stomach out, standing in the shower I scrubbed my entire body in a fall attempt of wiping his marks away but it did not happen. I did not came out that night and never realised when I fell asleep in the washroom.

I was woken up by someone banging the washroom door, I held my head which was throbbing very badly and realised that it was kabir, finally he was back, I wanted to ran into his arms and hug him tight, but then I remembered the night and again curled myself into a ball and tears started flowing again. "Nisha open the door... Nisha what happened yesterday, why is everything out of place... Nisha plz Nisha plz come out Nisha... u r alright na,...the entire cookery is on the floor in the hall... Nisha plz come out Nisha... I am dying Nisha plz... I need to know." I heard his voice and even his sobs but I just could not bring myself to face him. The voice and banging stopped for a min or so and then I heard his most broken voice "Nisha u r alright na" I controlled my cries and somehow managed to reply him "kabir.. I..I am fine, I..need some time plz" "ya I realise I have done something nasty last night" came his reply and I only broke into more tears. " u take ur time, I will go and clean the mess I created in the hall". I relaxed myself and decided to go out before he comes back, I did not wanted to tell him all this coz I had no idea how will he react. Thus I wanted to go out, grab my clothes, change and then go out, I knew if he saw me that condition with tattered clothes, cut marks he will realise everything, but to my bad luck he never went out. He just said that to make me come out. I stood in my place seeing him in front of him. His eyes widened with shock and horror seeing him in that condition. "Nisha...what is all this...ur clothes" he said and came towards me and I took steps back and seeing that he stopped in his tracks. His hand reached my lip where there was a cut, I winced as he touched it and he immediately withdrew his hand. "what did I do last night" he asked, I just stood there rooted to my place "plz answer me" he said again, and I again remained silent only tears flowing "Nisha I beg u plz tell me" with that he fell on his knees. "kabir" I said and came down to my knees, still avoiding any contact with him. He looked at me, he eyes were filled with guilt, remorse and regret and tears. "did I... did I fo...for..c..ed u" he asked, I closed my eyes tight letting the tears flow and nodded my head. He got up from the floor mumbling "I forced u" again and again and went out. I just sat there praying he doesn't harm himself.