Them
Ishita took a deep breath as she stepped out of the lift. The doors to the community hall were just opposite the lift, although across the hallway, and she could hear muted sounds from behind the closed doors.
She nodded at the security guard stationed outside the door who looked at her with frank curiosity.
"Aap ko andar jaana hai memsaab?" he asked
"Nahi" she shook her head. "Kisi ko bulana hai. It's okay, I'll call him"
She put her suitcase on the floor and searched in her bag for her mobile. Damn, where was it? Had she left it in the apartment? How was she to get hold of Adi? Maybe she should ask the security guard to call him.
She left her handbag on the suitcase and taking a deep breath crossed the hallway to the guard.
He is just there she thought. Just behind the door. Getting married. Going away from her. Forever. Her Raman
"Raman" his name was an anguished whisper she had no intention of uttering.
And then she heard her own name in reply.
It was a scream that burst through the closed doors.
"Ishita"
There was silence and then a hum of voices.
She stood rooted to the spot even as the guard jumped up off his seat.
And then the door opened.
He had run out of the mandap with one thought only - to find her, to demand an explanation. Fear consumed him as to whether he would be able to find her. What if she had run away again? How would he survive without an answer?
But she was standing there as he opened the door. Like an answer to his prayers.
And then he saw the suitcase behind her.
He strode up to her, and grabbed her roughly by the hand.
"Running away again?"
She squirmed in pain and looked up at him, tears springing into her eyes.
"Leave me Raman"
"Why? So you can run away again?"
The injustice of his accusations stung, but what hurt more was seeing him decked up as a groom. The black sherwani, the cream achkan, the tikka on his forehead.
He was getting married. To Shagun. Her husband. No, he wasn't. She had lost everything. He was no longer hers. He had thrown her out of his life.
And yet he accused her.
She knew that there were several people crowding behind him, peeking from the hall. She knew that he had been trying to have this showdown with her since she came. She had avoided any explanation. Had avoided him.
But what was the use now? She had lost. She had lost him. She did not care any more.
"Leave me"
In response his hold on her hand tightened.
"I won't let you run away again. You owe me some answers"
"I owe you nothing Mr. Bhalla. And what do you mean by run away again? When did I ever run away?"
His voice was silky, low and quiet. Dangerously quiet.
"Yaadash chali gayi Miss Ishita Iyer? You ran away seven years ago. Bhaag gayi thi hum sab ko chodh kar."
Ishita Iyer. It hurt to hear him call her that. His voice pierced through her heart and shattered it into tiny little pieces. And then her unendurable pain finally gave her voice.
"You kicked me out Raman. You kicked me out. Mein apni marzi se nahi gayi thi yahan se. Aap ne nikala tha mujhe"
She realised she was shouting, but she was beyond caring.
"Kya kaha tha aapne? Bannjh ho. Manhoos ho. Aapne nazro se dur hone ko kaha tha. Nikal jao warna zinda gaad doonga. Mere bacho ke saaya se bhi dur raho. Yahi kaha tha na aap ne Raman. Mujhe aap ki har ek shabd yaad hai. I remember each word Raman. You threw me out Raman. I did not run away."
"Toh gayi kyun?" He had grabbed both her arms now and shook her by her shoulders. "Mein ne kuch keh diya aur tum chali gayi? Aur mujhe chod diya apne maut ki zimmedaar bana ke?"
"Kuch keh diya Raman?" Her eyes blazed as the words which had haunted her for seven years again scratched her still raw wounds, causing her heart to bleed uncontrollably. "Aap ne mujhe baanjh kaha tha Raman. Aap ne. Mein Ruhi ke maut ke baad bhi zinda thi Raman. Mein ne socha tha ki aap mujhe sambhal loge. Lekin aap ne toh mujhe wahin, jeete jee mar diya Raman"
His hands fell from her shoulders as he saw the anguish in her eyes and at last realised what his words had done to her that day.
"Mein paagal ho gaya tha Ishita. Mein Ruhi ki ghum mein paagal ho gaya tha. Tum samajh nahi sakti thi kya mujhe? Why did you go Ishita? Tum ne mujh se waada kiya tha mujhe kabhi nahi chodhogi." He grabbed at her again, pulling her close to him, his reddened eyes blazing down at her. "Of all the people in the world, I thought you would understand. Understand my grief. Tum kyun chali gayi?
"Jaati nahi toh kya karti" She squirmed in his grip but he was too strong for her and her elbows got pinned against his chest as she struggled. "Mein ne Ruhi ko maar diya tha Raman. I killed Ruhi.
"NO" the words were wrenched from him in a hoarse guttural whisper. "I killed her Ishita. Ruhi died because of me. Mein ne tumhe convince kiya tha, aur woh ACP nahi bhi aata, toh mein kya kar leta. Ruhi ko mein ne maara Ishita. But I blamed you because I couldn't face myself. I thought you would understand. I thought you ...but you ..when I heard you had killed yourself, I..."
"No Raman, it was my fault...mine"
He shook his head and then pushed her away, running his hands across his face, trying to collect himself.
"That ACP said you killed yourself. I've been living with that guilt for seven years Ishita. Tumhe ek bhi baar hamari yaad nahi aayi? Adi ki, Pihu ki, ...meri? Tum meri kadwi baton sun kar yahan se chali toh gayi, lekin kabhi mud ke dekha bhi nahi? Humey chodh kar uss Mani ke saath.. hum sab ko apni zindagi mein replace kaar diya Ishita? Kyun?
"Kyunki aap ne sach kaha tha. Mein manhoos hoon. Mein aap ke zindagi mein aayi toh Ruhi ki jaan chali gayi. Humari choti si Rooh. I couldn't take that risk with Adi or our baby too Raman. Agar unhe bhi kuch ho jaata toh? Aur Raman, Raman mein Mani ke saath nahi gayi, mein ne toh apni jaan lene ki koshish ki thi. Mani got paralysed while trying to save me. Uske do chote bache theh, I had to look after them. Who sirf mera dost hai Raman. I was the reason for his paralysis. That's why I stayed with him. Warna mein to kab ke mar gayi hoti"
She wiped violently at her tears.
"Mein aap ko, ya apne bacho ko kaise replace karti Raman? Aap mere zindagi ho. Lekin meri Ruhi.. Aap ne sach kaha tha. Mein manhoos hoon. Mein manhoos hoon. Lekin mein jaa rahi hoon, aap Shagun ke saath, bachon ke saath khush rehna, mujhe wapas nahi aana chahiye tha, I shouldn't have..."
She covered her face with her hands as tears overwhelmed her, turning away from him, blindly looking for an escape. The next moment she felt her hands being roughly pulled into his, as he stumbled in front of her.
"Ishita"
For the first time since she had returned, he had taken her name without anger, without malice. But his voice was not normal. It was choked with tears, which ran unabashedly down his face as he cupped her chin in one hand, forcing her to face him.
She shook her head, her tears flowing unchecked, her eyes closed tightly. She could not look at him. She could not.
"Ishita please" she heard him say though his tears. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Mujhe maaf kardo please Ishita please"
She opened her eyes then. Through her own tears she could see the genuine contrition in his eyes.
"I'm sorry too, Raman, but its too late" she whispered. "Ruhi... Hamari Ruhi nahi rahi"
"Toh kya hamara rishta sirf Ruhi ke liye tha? Kya mein tumhara kuch nahi?"
"Aap mere zindagi ho. Lekin mein aap ki koi nahi. Aap ki jab marzi hoti hai mujhe ghar se nikal dete ho. Mujhe sauteli kehte ho. Gaaliyan dete ho."
"I'm sorry Ishita. Mujh se bahut galtiyaan ho gayi lekin is ke itni badi sazaa mat do. Mein nahi jee sakta tumhaare bina. Saat saal mein har din sau maut mara hoon mai. I'm dead without you Ishita"
"Raman no. Aap ki shaadi Shagun se ho rahi hai."
"Woh toh..." He ran a hand across his face, cursing the temper which combined with his jealousy and pain had led him to almost making a monumental mistake. "I was so angry with you and you just wouldn't react. I only proposed to Shagun to spite you Ishita, I..."
"Lekin Raman"
"Lekin kuch nahi Ishita" He touched her face tentatively, gently wiping the tears flowing down her cheeks. "Please...listen to me...I love you Ishita, I...Nothing else matters. We will sort everything out. Bas tum wapas ghar chalo"
"Lekin Raman, hamari divorce" She held out the court envelope to him. "Mein yahan yeh dene aayi thi..."
He grabbed the envelope and threw it away from them.
"Nahi manta mein koi divorce ko. This is just a formality, hum dobara register karwa lenge. Biwi ho tum meri. Nothing can change that."
"But Raman..."
His cupped her face within his hands, and pulled her close to his chest.
"Ishita please..."
She had been grieving for seven years, but she had been grieving alone. The only person in the world who could share her grief had abandoned her, and so she had abandoned the world. But now life was giving her a second chance. There were still many recriminations, many questions, many explanations to come. But before all that, there was one comfort she had been seeking since the day she had left. She let him draw her into his arms, felt his body shudder as those strong arms tightened protectively around her.
"Raman" she cried as she let her tears drench his chest. "Hamari Ruhi, Raman"
"Shhh" he whispered even as his own tears dampened her head. "We will get through this jaan. If you're with me, we will get through this"
He led her away, their steps stumbling, their arms entwined. There were many things that would need to be dealt with, but that was for another day. Today was theirs. Finally.
Edited by Veeann - 9 years ago
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