Arshi FF: Destined To Love #2 LINK TO#3 Pg151 - Page 45

Chapter 25

Shalini, lay on bed and stared at the ceiling above. Her mind went back to the conversation she had with her father yesterday. Elections were round the corner, for the first time he was contesting from ratnagiri and it was extremely important for him to win so that he could exercise his control over ratnagiri which was on the road to industrial development. Big time investors had funded his party on the condition that he would look into their interests after coming into power, it would have been a cake walk for him had arnav supported him in his political endeavors but he was reluctant to enter into politics, he was happy with whatever little he was doing for the people of ratnagiri and even politely refused to campaign for his mentor, something that came as a big blow to shekhawat. Hence he was left with no other option but to approach his daughter who was extremely popular , after arnav she was the one who they looked upto.

Had circumstances been normal she wouldn't have thought twice before saying yes to her father. although even now she didn't refuse him, she could never let him down but there were some issues that needed to be handled before she gave her consent. To begin with she was worried about leaving khushi alone as she couldn't take her along during this stage of her pregnancy, so with a very heavy heart she approached her husband to stay with khushi for 2 days when she would be away, she knew he would readily agree and that's exactly what he did.

Then there was laxmi, who was on a few days leave because her daughter was getting married, she'd informed well in advance therefore shalini couldn't refuse her but she ensured that some other house maid came instead of her even if it was for a few hours to mop and clean the house and ofcourse wash the dishes...cooking ,khushi could manage on her own. Unwillingly her thoughts went to laxmi, off late she had been behaving differently around her. Shalini could feel that she was overtly concerned about her and by the look on her face it seemed as though she wanted to say something to her but was holding herself back, but what was she covering up? Shalini had no clue then there were instances when she could see sympathy and pity in laxmi's eyes for her...ridiculous , how could a housekeeper even dare to empathize with her and that too what for?

Shaking her head she brushed aside laxmi's thoughts and concentrated on the most important issue, she had succeeded in tackling all but the most scary and challenging one was still left.

She closed her eyes and sighed deeply, the people of ratnagiri thought that she was pregnant and that too currently in her later stages but the truth was that she wasn't. She bit the inside of her cheek in worry, how would she handle this? She had no answer but she had to, a pregnant lady campaigning in elections would leave a deep impact on the minds of people especially women who would look at this from a purely emotional and sympathetic view. She turned on the bed and cracked her mind hard to find a feasible solution.

Shalini was not the only one who was having a sleepless night, khushi was there to give her a company in her own room.

khushi pulled up the sheet to her chin and smiled, tomorrow he would he here! She ran her hand down her bulge, finally after more than a month he would be back again. So much had changed during this one month, emotionally she'd drawn so close to him and the baby that it was difficult to think of a life without them and physically she'd only grown huge, from a skinny girl she was now a plump pregnant woman. How would he react to these changes? She bit her lower lip shyly thinking about it.

Wow two days with him...the thought simply exhilarated her and she grinned ear to ear. Even laxmi would not be around to interfere and keep a tab on her, ever since she'd stopped her from calling him, she had started to maintain distance with laxmi. Deep down she missed laxmi's unconditional motherly affection but the truth was that she was not her mother ! her constant interference, she could still take but her baseless grudges against him was something she couldn't bear hence she thought it was best that she kept her thoughts and emotions to herself rather than sharing them with someone who could never understand.

Rolling her eyes she believed that tonight, sleep was miles away. Pushing the sheet, she got up.

She leaned her head against the window pane and smiled to herself as she was unable to stop her rebellious heart from thinking about him.

Closing her eyes her heart showcased her, his image, the eyes that only dreamt of him would tomorrow get to see him in real once again. The soft breeze flowing out blew her tendrils over her shut eyes, the hair kissed her eye lids as rain droplets.

Her eyes didn't wish to see anyone or anything except him. Her heart didn't know where it was heading, she had never felt like this before, the path was new and unknown, the destination was not visible still her heart desired to move further. He had like always imprisoned her soul and captivated her senses.

She quietly went back to her bed and laid down wondering about her emotions and the love that was absorbing her. She was only aware of her feelings, that she was drawn towards him like a moth was towards flame. That was one side of the coin, one side of the story, what he felt for her, if at all anything was still a mystery for her. Was it just simple care for someone who was carrying his baby and who was willing to risk her life to see him happy or was there something more to that concern? Did he feel something deep about her or was her love one sided? Would her story finish away with only her sentiments or would his feelings add and complete this love story?

She closed her eyes as she was unable to seek answers to questions that her desperate heart was asking. In fact other than him nobody else had the answers but... He hardly expressed himself unless he wished to. Still she didn't care, she was happy with what she felt , she was happy that she belonged to him and only him. At the moment she didn't wish to admit that she was expecting something from him in return, she was content with her love for him. The bliss that was filling her heart might not always be there, in the future she might have to leave him and go away but she didn't wish to think about it. what future held for both of them no one knew, all she knew was that her love had given her a new life and she was happy with it.

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He stood before the door and raised his hand to ring the bell as the clouds in the sky played hide and seek with the sun. It was a silent and pleasant afternoon. He gazed at the closed door, this time it felt different, he wasn't anxious nor there was any unknown fear gripping him. By constantly staying in touch with her had helped a lot in reducing his anxiety. Thankfully she was taking good care of herself and suffered from abdominal cramps only once and those too weren't severe. He was glad that things were no more hidden from him and he was continuously updated about her and the baby. The thought of the baby fluttered something inside him, time was flying and in another couple of months he would be holding his child in his arms...he just couldn't wait for that day to arrive. Still preoccupied with the baby he finally rang the bell.

It took a minute for the door to open up, her eyes sparkled and a fleeting smile adorned her pink lips on seeing him stand before her. His lips stretched slightly and his eyes warmed up as he stepped inside, however he immediately stopped in his tracks when his eyes moved down from her face. She looked so...different with this baby bump and all the weight that she'd put on. He was aware that with time the baby would grow and this would reflect on her body but still in his mind he had her old slim image with her belly protruding slightly. So it came as a surprise for him... a surprise that was beautiful. Her eyes travelled his gaze and she instantly tried to hide herself behind the door. She bit her bottom lips shyly and lowered her heard, she didn't have the courage to look into his eyes and read what he thought of her new avtar. Color rose to her cheeks as she blushed profusely. He turned his neck the next moment, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable and began walking in, the situation was new and embarrassing for both of them.

She followed him silently, then on reaching the hall she asked from behind," tea or coffee?"

" coffee." He answered and looked around for shalini, she wasn't there hence asked," where's shalini?"

" she's in her room."

He nodded his head and paced towards the room to inform her that he had brought an extra driver and a car to drop her off.

Shalini glanced at her reflection in the mirror then carefully adjusted the padding underneath her sari. She moved her fingers over her fake bulging stomach and let out a deep sigh. She had no choice, she had to do this , she was supposed to go back and make an appearance before the public and this was much needed to keep her lie intact. But for a moment she thought what if it was for real? What if she could actually get pregnant with his child? A lump formed in her throat and she gulped it silently. She always desired to mother his child, though she would be eventually doing that but it was not exactly the way she had dreamed.

A child holds a special and close relationship with his or her mother, especially sons, they are said to be closely bonded to their mothers. He was no exception, he loved his mother to death, never defied her and did his best to please her. No matter how stubborn or powerful he was with others but he always gave in to what his mother said. She always managed to get her way with him and he never complained.

Shalini being a single child and a girl was more close to her dad, she enjoyed his powerful status, the control that he exercised over people. Power and money always fascinated her, these were the things that attracted her to arnav. He was the god father of ratnagiri and people literally worshipped him. Nobody dared to disobey him, he was the undisputed king of ratnagiri who controlled everything and one around but there was someone in his life who controlled him and that was his mother. She loved arnav's arrogance, temper, no nonsense approach to work , the traits she wished to have in her son and that was possible only if he had his blood running in his veins. But what thrilled her the most was the kind of respect , love and regard that his mother received from him. She used to be amazed to see how motherly affection could manage to keep this roaring tiger in control...and she craved for the same!

Not that she wouldn't love the baby, she would to death but would definitely expect the same from him.

She touched her stomach once again and thought how lucky khushi was, even though she wasn't his wife yet she was fortunate enough to bear his child, fortunate enough to experience motherhood, fortunate enough to nurture the child inside her womb...something she wouldn't get to experience personally ever. The thought pricked the corners of her eyes but she dropped her eye lids firmly to get a grip on herself.

On turning around she opened her eyes slowly and was surprised to see him standing at the door step. If he was shocked to see her like that then it would have been an understatement.

He stood rooted at the spot and stared at her belly. He knew it was all fake! Another lie occupied its place in her long list of lies and it disgusted him. He flared his nostrils as his eyes travelled up. He was getting mad at her for stooping so low and he wanted to show her that but...couldn't. After a very long time he saw defeat and helplessness in her eyes, the emotions that he witnessed when she came to know about her infertility. She could never take failure of any kind and that was making her do all this.

He shook his head slowly in disappointment, he wished she could accept reality, he was always there to share her pain after all for him it was never her but their pain. However as a husband she didn't allow him to share this grief and like her even he felt defeated and helpless.

" driver and car are ready." He informed dryly.

They both went out, khushi was standing with the cup of coffee and her jaw dropped on seeing shalini in this state. Before she could ask or speak anything they were already out of the house with shalini's small bag.

" I'll call you on reaching ."

He nodded his head as he opened the car door for her, she looked at him and gave him a side hug before getting into the car.

" drive carefully ." He ordered the driver as it would get dark later on.

He went back to the hall, thoughts of shalini occupying his mind.

" arnav ji...coffee." She called him out, he raised his head and realized that he had forgotten that she was at home. Without uttering a word he took the mug from her hand and approached the three sitter sofa to sit. She looked at him confusedly, when he'd come he appeared relaxed and happy then all of a sudden what happened to him? His eyes scattered the floor while the mug remained untouched in his hands. She could see lines of worry adoring his forehead as he dwell deep into his thoughts but what was going on in his mind? Something was definitely bothering him but what???? She wanted to ask him but thought maybe he wouldn't appreciate it. She carefully walked towards the dining table, pulled out a chair for herself and sat on it watching him from a distance.

He was too engrossed in his thoughts to feel her gaze on himself. The recent image of shalini wasn't leaving his mind. Had he seen her like this some months back he would have been the happiest man on this earth. Having a child, extending his family was a precious dream for him but fate had stored something else for them...she could never carry a child, the harsh reality always tugged his heart and he felt sorry for her but today when she was faking it then why didn't for a moment he felt sorry for her? surely this must not have been easy for her then why didn't his heart go out for her? he could see the pain and defeat in her eyes but why didn't the same transfer to his eyes, why couldn't he feel what she was feeling? He should have, being a husband he should have felt the same stab of pain in his heart but he didn't. He gripped the mug firmly within his fingers, till sometime back he could sense her pain, but now what had happened ? how had he turned so insensitive? Why couldn't he feel something about her? he pursed his lips on remembering the night when she massaged his head and later on fell asleep after cuddling him, why did her closeness disconcert him...he was married to her for five years and in the past they had shared quite a few intimate moments just like any other couple then why did it feel so unfamiliar? Why did the tinkling of her glass bangles failed to stir anything within him? Why couldn't he sleep peacefully with her like he always did in the past? She was the same, she hadn't changed then why had his emotions changed for her? he closed his eyes as frustration began to creep within him.

The time when she had coaxed him to spend the night with khushi flashed before him. Was her unreasonable and insensitive demand responsible for all this? That night had she pushed him and their relationship beyond the limit? Had she pushed him so far away that now it was getting impossible for him to come back to her? had the gap between them so widened that now it couldn't be bridged?

Perhaps, YES!

To bring a new life into their lives, unknowingly their marriage died away silently. And the surprising part was that although his mind was attempting hard to send him on a guilt trip like always, his heart was not letting it do so.

He leaned his head back, flopped his legs on the front table and breathed slowly with closed eyes.

Supporting her head on her palm she watched him silently. The mug was still in his hands but the hot coffee had turned into cold coffee as he didn't even take a sip of it. Her eyes were dropping as the clock ticked away but she kept herself awake. The clouds outside roared loudly and the wind blew hard as the windows rattled in response. His eyes flew open to the loud thundering and he slowly took in to the place he had dozed off, for how long he didn't know but it had grown dark and soon it began to pour heavily. With hooded eyes he observed the rain.

The window panes were still rattling because of the rainy storm, she went up to the window to fix it properly when she heard him from behind," shut the window. Firmly." she looked over her shoulder and knitted her brows in confusion, the weather was beautiful , why does he want to close the window?

" I just hate these rains..they always wash away something from my life." He elaborated bitterly and wondered what had the rain taken away from him today? Yeah maybe the sensitivity and consideration of a husband had dissipated today leaving behind only a dutiful husband!

She shut the window as asked and turned around, he was looking down, the mug was no more in his hands, it was kept on the side table. She couldn't help but recall the day when she and shalini were leaving RM, it was raining then and he was sitting silently with serious and grave expressions adoring his creased face. Even now he was dwelling on something important but still appeared a lot less hassled as though he had managed to tame the building storm within him. But still something was missing and she was unable to put her finger on what it was. She started to walk back to the kitchen to make him another coffee but before she could reach the kitchen, the power went off and the whole hall fell into darkness. There was no provision for inverter/ generator here.

" I'll get the candles ." She was well accustomed to the surroundings therefore didn't panic and suggested of getting candles from the kitchen.

" wait ..let me come with you ." His pitch was high and it resonated in the quiet hall. Within seconds he was behind her, she smiled in the dark and walked carefully towards the kitchen.

Taking out a huge packet of candles they both began lighting them. She placed a few around the dining area and the hall when her gaze fell on the puja room near the entrance, the room was pitch dark. She remembered her mother say to keep the puja room always illuminated. She pondered over it for a moment then said pointing towards that room," Arnav ji ..please light one there too." It felt odd to ask him to do anything but then she couldn't help it.

She stood outside the puja room as he illuminated that area. He turned on his heel to go out but found her leaning her head against the door. Her eyes were fixed on the idol of Bappa and she appeared grim. It then struck him that he'd never seen her attend any prayers back in RM, there was a similar puja room there but she hardly entered it, in fact once in the temple also she was sitting on the steps and gazing at the idol with longingness in her eyes. She didn't come across as someone who didn't believe in Him then what was holding her back? He was trying to figure it out when she asked softly," Sometimes do our simple wishes become so unreasonable for Him ?" she didn't remember asking Him to shower her with worldly pleasures and comforts, all she wanted since childhood was a simple and happy life where she could find happiness in smallest of things. She wondered had she asked for too much or something that He couldn't afford to offer her? because what she actually got, no girl would even dream of asking it.

He thought over her question as he looked at her now under the glow of the candles , he saw sadness in her eyes beyond measure and stories he knew she had never told before. In fact he couldn't recall a moment where she had poured her out to him. Suddenly his own sufferings, pain appeared so small compared to what she'd gone through in her life.

Sold off by her own husband! Someone who was supposed to protect and honor her dignity had left her in a brothel for some money. What the hell she must have experienced he couldn't even imagine.

Sometime back he couldn't feel the anguish of his wife but surprisingly now he could easily understand and feel her pain.

Perhaps somewhere they both had suffered in their marriage and were let down by their spouses thus he could identify with her but still thinking of the miseries she had experienced, twisted his heart.

She didn't realize when he came and stood close to her, she was still in a daze, staring at bappa and said innocently," maa said bappa would always be with me ...but He wasn't there ..maa lied to me." She had tremendous faith in Him and believed He would never leave her side thus even after getting into an abusive marriage she was willing to give it a try, hoping that He would improve the situation if she kept her trust in Him intact. But nope, it didn't turn out the way she had hoped, in fact it became worse when her husband forced her into prostitution. He wasn't there for her when she needed Him badly, He'd left her alone in this ruthless world! How could He silently see her suffer, after all He was her closest friend, she shared everything with Him then when she was going through the toughest period of her life why wasn't He there to share her pain with her? she glanced at Him with hurt filled eyes, He had betrayed her and she questioned Him silently with her forlorn gaze, how could He let all this happen? What was her fault?

" Khushi." arnav whispered, his voice soft and tender, her eyes slowly shifted to him. There was loneliness in her eyes which tore at his very soul, no matter how spectacular her smile, how warm her eyes appeared in the past but...she was alone and she wouldn't have been had life been fair to her. There were tears hovering on her lashes and she closed them wondering why all of a sudden she had turned so emotional. She swallowed the lump formed inside her throat as silent tears escaped from her closed eye lids. Her tears pierced through his heart, he wished he had a solution to her problems, he wished life was not harsh to her and he could undo her past but that was not possible for him...he couldn't change anything and it frustrated him. He lifted his hands and cupped her face, she opened her eyes in surprise, as he wiped her tears with his thumb. She came across as an innocent and lost soul as his warm hands touched her cold skin and he held her looking into her eyes for a long, long time without saying anything. Words weren't needed, his eyes said it all.

Thanks for reading

Rose