Gory details - DTN Pg 3

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kase

@kase

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Posted: 10 years ago

#81

Originally posted by: aparnauma
She'd rather have her daughter in front of her eyes under her care and custody than see her leave.
Rejection of her mother means rejecting not only her mother but the entire life that belongs to her by virtue of her birth and moving away from not just her mother but away from all these people and life too.

Why would Anandi want her child to lose all these things?

Why would she want to risk losing her daughter all over again?

If both her children are with her whether they know of their relationship or not she will ensure that both her kids get all that she can give them and all that Shekhar kids are entitled to.

Even if she cannot get her daughter to address her as maa as long as her child is safe secure and among people who love her and care for her she is willing to settle for this.

Shivam will eventually learn to accept this girl who his mother brought into their life.

Even without knowing that she is Anandi's daughter she still has a much better life much healthier life style and she is getting her childhood back This is much much more than what she got as Akheraj's DIL Kundan's BV or Mangala's daughter.

This is what Anandi is willing to settle for at this moment.

If the choice is between her daughter moving away from all this after knowing the truth or having her daughter in front of her eyes and under her care even if the chld is unaware of the fact how much she is loved by her mother and her mother's family she will choose latter.

If Mangala thinks that having the child address her as maa is all about being mother Anandi thinks that ensuring that her child gets best possible care even if she didn't know that it is coming from none other than her mother is what motherhood is all about for Anandi in case of Nandini.

Both her kids getting all she can give and what they are entitled to includes an identity as a child of the house by right and NOT as a guest.

Shivam will eventually learn to accept is not fair on either child .. As a brother doesnt he have the right to know who his mother has brought into his life ?

Her lifestyle may be better and healthier but not real. What she had in Jhalra was pathetic but true.

And in the whole process she ( Anandi) is making choices that she feels and thinks are safe and not thinking from shivam or nandini perspective

Parenting is also about thinking from the other side

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

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Posted: 10 years ago

#82

Originally posted by: kase

Both her kids getting all she can give and what they are entitled to includes an identity as a child of the house by right and NOT as a guest.

Shivam will eventually learn to accept is not fair on either child .. As a brother doesnt he have the right to know who his mother has brought into his life ?

Her lifestyle may be better and healthier but not real. What she had in Jhalra was pathetic but true.
And in the whole process she ( Anandi) is making choices that she feels and thinks are safe and not thinking from shivam or nandini perspective
Parenting is also about thinking from the other side

Who says this arrangement is perfect?

Does Anandi want things to be that way? No.

But she is doing what she can for her kids under the circumstances.Some of those circumstances were not her doing while some are hers.

She can't wait for ever for the child to accept her as her mother to give her all that is necessary at this point in time.

The child needs a secure safe environment surrounded by people who love her and most importantly get her childhood and do all things that a child of her age gets to do.From Anandi's perspective that her child gets her childhood back and gets to go to school and take first steps towards empowering herself for future are the emergency needs.

The child was deprived of all these things in life even though she had an identity as Akheraj's DIL later on that of Mangala's daughter.In both instances the child was leading a most wretched life which is fit for no child.

She can't wait indefinitely for her child to accept her but wants to give all that she can give as a mother irrespective of what the child calls her.

Important thing for the children right now is to know that she loves them and she will be there for them as long as there is life in her body and for them to know that they can count on her love and not feel insecure about each other.What they feel is just a case of sibling rivalry which looks different because of the circumstances.

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kase

@kase

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Posted: 10 years ago

#83

@aparna Agreed this is better environment if you discount all the drama that's taking place including falling into a well etc. But yes she is surrounded by loving family.

Not sure if Anandi is doing what she can do ..somethings are priority 1 and some can be slowly won over.

Sibling rivalry is usually because the siblings know they have equal rights and hence fight about imagined partiality by the parent ..here siblings don't know that even.

I will pause here because I strongly feel she can be more in control and the reasons given here looks like justifying her inaction