Khushi rang the bell of Shantivan at 9 the next morning. Her head was pounding and she was dead tired...not having slept a wink the previous night. She had finally given up trying to sleep around 4:30 am and had gotten up to make herself some tea. But more than anything, she was feeling very disheartened. Having decided not to crowd Arnav, all she wanted was to hear his voice...make sure he was okay and reassure him that she was happy with the way things were between them. And that she wasn't expecting him to take it forward anytime soon. But no, he had to be the Laad Governor he always was and shut her out! That was hurting...a lot more than she thought it would! As Anjali opened the door, she saw Khushi lost in her thoughts, looking dull and unhappy. her heart went out for this young girl! She was in for a rough ride with her difficult brother. As a wave of tenderness washed over her, she put her hand on Khushi's arm. 'Khushi? Where are you lost? Come inside' she said gently.
As Khushi gave her a small smile and stepped inside, she looked around the big mansion hoping to catch sight of Arnav. Anjali caught her looking at the stairs. She smiled inwardly. 'We have a ton of work to take care of today, Khushi. Why don't you start by talking to the caterers? And I will talk to the decorators?' Khushi struggled to pay attention to what Anjali was saying. But the lack of sleep and her yearning to catch a glimpse of him, was making her all muddled.
'Yes Di...Anjali Ji' she said meekly, not knowing what to call her.
'Call me Di' Anjali said suddenly making Khushi look up sharply.
Anjali rushed to put her at ease. 'We are going to be family now. Payal will call me Di, hai na? So I want you to call me Di too'
Khushi smiled. 'Di!' she said tentatively and immediately felt a little lighter. She really did love Anjali a lot.
'I always wanted a sister!' Anjali said, choking up a little. 'Growing up with a brother, that too one like Chotey wasn't always easy. And then when we came to live with Nani, I found Akash. Now I have you'
'When did you come to live here, Anajali Ji? I mean Di?' curiosity got the better of Khushi. She knew they had lost their parents. But she did not know the details.
Anjali sighed. She knew her brother better than anyone else. When Khushi's marriage issue had come up yesterday, she had sensed a shift in her brother. When he went to the kitchen to talk to Khushi and then had stormed out of there a few minutes later, she had known this was not going to be easy for him. And poor Khushi, she probably didn't know what to make of his behavior. It was time all the cards were laid out in front of her.
'When Arnav was 14 and I was 18...soon after our parents' death!' she whispered sadly. 'We were a happy family Khushi...at least we had thought so until just before that tragedy' Anjali walked Khushi to the garden downstairs and they both sat down on a bench. She asked HP to bring them tea. Khushi felt warmth return to her body as she sipped the hot tea. But she felt a strange trepidation in her heart as it started thudding loudly.
'Our Mama worshiped the ground our Papa walked on. We thought they were happy together...until that fateful day. Against Mama's wishes, Papa wanted to marry me off early. So he fixed my wedding. The day of my wedding, we heard them arguing loudly and then Mama rushed out the room, crying uncontrollably. Chotey ran behind her to see what's wrong. But he was too late. She shot herself right in front of his eyes. Papa couldn't bear it and he killed himself 2 hours later. Needless to say, my wedding didn't happen. We were left alone and totally shattered. We found out that our Papa was having an affair and Mama had found out. In fact, that lady had come to meet him that day and Mama caught them talking' Anjali couldn't go on as sobs racked her body.
Khushi gasped as she found tears streaming down her face. The horror that these two had gone through at such a young age was unfathomable to her. Her heart went out to Anjali and Khushi moved closer to her and wrapped her arms around her tightly. 'I'm sorry, Di. I didn't know!' was all she could manage. What else could one say? No amount of consoling will erase the bad memories and the pain they had endured.
'Chotey was completely shattered. He was very close to Mama. He stopped believing in love, commitment, marriage from that day on. He says that all a relationship brings is betrayal and heart ache. He thinks that two people can never spend their entire lives together. He says marriage is an illusion and that it's made by society to make sex legitimate. And the day people get bored of each other, they stray and break the sanctity of marriage. But due to the fear of society, most of them stay together which makes them dishonest and then their entire relationship turns into one big lie! He has become hardhearted and cynical. No amount of convincing worked on him. And added to that, the day after we lost our parents, our Chacha, my Papa's younger brother, took all the property and money and threw Arnav and I out on the street. Nani took us both in. Manohar Mama and Mami took care of us. He paid for our education. Mami gave all her jewelry away to help Arnav start his business' Anjali wiped her tears away as she looked at Khushi. She was a beautiful girl, no doubt. But she was also beautiful inside. Anjali hoped that her love would bring Arnav out of his shell and give him a chance to lead a happy, normal life. She sighed as she continued.
'I did better in dealing with the trauma. It wasn't easy. But I didn't lose hope. Seeing Nani, Mama and Mami's love and how Akash embraced us as his own siblings and shared everything he had with us, gave me hope that good people do exist in this world. And then I met my husband. When I thought I'll never experience the joy of a man's love again and when marriage was the last thing on my mind, I found him! He gave me everything back! But Chotey? He is still stuck in the same bubble'
Khushi nodded silently, her heart breaking for Arnav and also a strange fear in the pit of her stomach thinking about the future of their relationship. She now understood why Arnav was like how he was. He had shouldered such a big responsibility at such a young age and he had made something out of himself. He had provided for his family more than he had taken from them. He had risen above their problems and built an empire all by himself. But was that enough? What about his heart? Isn't it important for it to heal? To love? To embrace?
Khushi looked at Anjali determinedly. 'He will be fine, Di. I assure you he will come out of all his qualms about relationships' she smiled.
'You'll make sure of that, hai na?' Anjali caressed Khushi's cheek lovingly.
Khushi blushed. How had she known? Then she frowned. 'Di!!' she whispered brokenly.
'I know Khushi. He's difficult! He gets angry way too soon. I know he'll hurt you with his silence, sometimes with his harsh words and sometimes by distancing himself from you. I don't want to tell you that it's going to be easy' Anjali said worriedly.
Khushi nodded again. It was true! She was hurting right now. But she knew he was hurting too. She had no clue how to make him open up. She sighed! Now that she knew the reason behind his reluctance, it helped her understand him better. She knew he loved her. But was he ready for a commitment? She had decided to give him space, of course. But after knowing what she did now, she wondered if he will ever be ready! That thought scared her. Was she ready for it? To fight with him? For them? She didn't know. But she knew she couldn't give up without a fight. Not when she had already given her heart away to him. Khushi felt her head spin! This was all too much to deal with in one day.
As Anjali watched a gamut of emotions pass through Khushi's face, she understood her thought process. Khushi was not Lavanya! Hell! Even Lavanya wanted nothing but marriage in the end! She felt a little scared for her brother. She prayed that he wouldn't lose Khushi. But most of all she prayed that Khushi would help Arnav see sense and realize that not all relationships are doomed.
A look of understanding passed between the two women...two women for whom that one person mattered the most! An unspeakable bond was formed. A determination to bring Arnav out of his shell and make him believe! When they finally hugged and sought comfort in each other's arms, it seemed natural.
'He's upstairs. Doesn't seem like he's slept either...just like you. And he hasn't eaten anything either...just like you. And he probably has a bad headache...just like you' Anjali shook her head sadly.
When Khushi looked at her worriedly, Anjali nodded. 'Go. Take a tray up with you...for both of you' she smiled a little.
Khushi squeezed Anjali's hand as she got up to go to Arnav. She took a deep breath as she made her way into the kitchen.
Arnav was watering his plants when Khushi knocked on his door. She stepped inside without waiting for him to answer. As she stepped into the pool side, she placed the tray on the table there and sat down on the chaise, folding her arms across her chest. She watched his hands still and knew that he had sensed her presence. He turned around, surprise written all over his face. He blinked. But Khushi didn't move from the chair. She stared at him square in the eye. He walked swiftly to her and dropped down to his knees in front of her. He rested his hands in her lap as he roamed his eyes over her face. His jaw tighetened and he fisted his hands as he saw her wan face, dark circles and how tired she looked.
'Didn't sleep?' he asked her, gritting his teeth.
Something snapped in Khushi. After being the reason for her state, she couldn't believe he had the audacity to ask her that. 'How dare you? How dare you get angry?' she snarled making Arnav stagger back a little.
'Khushi!' he whispered, as he moved his hands to cup her cheek.
'Don't! Don't touch me!' Khushi moved back a little. 'Don't do this! Don't blow hot and cold! I am no longer strong enough to take it...not...not after all that has happened between us and we have finally realized what we feel for each other' she said brokenly.
'Khushi, listen to me!' Arnav started, only to be cut off by Khushi again as she felt a wave of tenderness wash over her for a 14-yr old Arnav who had carried the weight of the world on his young shoulders.
'Kuch mat kahiye Arnav Ji!' she said as she launched herself at him, forgetting her earlier resolve of giving back to him as good as she got. She cupped his face between her hands as she bent forward and kissed his cheek gently.
Arnav smirked. 'What was that for?'
Khushi looked down sadly. 'Anjali Ji, I mean Di, and I had a talk. She told me what happened with your parents' she whispered.
Arnav clenched his fists again as pain seared through his heart. Khushi felt him stiffen instantly. She rushed to hold his fist in her hands as she slowly pried his fingers apart. 'No! Please! Don't shut me out Arnav Ji!' she cried silently, unable to bear the distance between them as she felt Arnav shut himself down.
'You had no right!' he bit out harshly. Khushi looked at him, hurt flashing in her eyes. She recovered quickly. Di was right. No one said this was going to be easy!
'Kyon? Kyon nahin hain?' she asked him.
Not expecting this response from her, Arnav looked at her surprised. He looked away not having anything to say. As he got up and turned around to walk away, Khushi panicked. If she let him walk away, he would never allow her in. he would wallow in his little miserable world forever and keep her out emotionally.
'Share your pain with me, Arnav Ji' she pleaded.
That stopped him in his tracks. But he refused to turn around and look at her. As he closed his eyes at the pain in her voice, he heard her again.
'I love you!' she whispered, as tears streamed down her face.
Arnav whirled around, his heart thudding loudly, having heard those beautiful words from her for the first time.
'I love you!' she said again. 'Give me the right! Give me the right to share your pain. Give me the right to love you with everything I have! I don't need anything else' She covered her face with her palms as she sobbed, unable to bear it anymore.
Arnav rushed to her as he crushed her in his arms.
'I love you too, sweetheart. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!' he whispered into her hair as he bent his head and kissed her softly.
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