My Imperfect Mr. Perfect - Chapter 32
"Why am I being this way? I've never... I... I've never been so... These feelings..." Khushi struggled to form the words.
"This isn't me... It just isn't me..." she said, almost talking to herself, wondering what changed.
"It is you Khushi. It's just a new you," he tried to assure her, but her confused expressions didn't change a single bit.
He flipped them over so that she was now lying on her back and he was on his side, facing her propped up on his elbow.
"Khushi," he cupped her face with one hand. "You're transitioning."
Arnav saw Khushi's perplexed face and continued, "You're transitioning... From a girl to a woman," he said.
He watched the flit of emotions on her features until understanding finally settled in for her.
He gazed lovingly into her eyes before placing a quick yet affectionate peck on her lips whispering, "My woman."
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Khushi felt tingles in her stomach at the words - no matter how many times she'd heard him call her as his,' before, it gave her the same sparks now as it did when she'd heard it the first time.
And she couldn't help the blush that now highlighted her cheeks.
Unable to contain her shyness she turned to her side and hid her face into Arnav's chest while she clutched onto his shirt with one hand.
Arnav chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her - even though they'd come so far and crossed so many boundaries, his Khushi was still so shy sometimes.
And he could only feel lucky that this amazing girl with so many shades was his.
He placed an adoring kiss on her hair as she snuggled into his chest further.
They stayed in that position for a few more peaceful moments before Khushi leaned back. "By the way I'm still angry at you," she said, poking at his chest angrily.
"Oh really? Then what about what you did?" he asked, his tone reflecting hers.
"I told you this before! I had to say that to gain Shyam's trust and you know that! So I don't know why you're making it a big deal! What YOU did however doesn't have any excuse! You did it on purpose!" she said, her voice raising by the second.
"Don't you think I know that?! I know you did it to bring yourself away from Shyam! But that still doesn't stop your words from bloody hurting!" he said, his voice raising as equally.
"Well I didn't do it intentionally, unlike you!" she replied.
All of a sudden, another thought occurred to her. Before he could give an answer she said, "Wait... Why in the world are you even upset over this? This is Shyam for God's sake! He is a criminal who rapes girls and basically wanted to do the same to me and you think... you think I can ever have feelings for him?"
"Ok forget that - how many times have I told you that I am yours. That I belong to you. That I'm YOUR Khushi?" She paused. And then continued, "I... I let you come close to me Arnavji! I let you cross so many boundaries that I wouldn't let other men even come close to. And... you think I can still have feelings for another man after all that? Seriously?"
She looked up almost uncertainly at Arnav as she took her finger off his chest and pulled herself away from him. "Is that what you think of me Arnavji?" she whispered brokenly.
Arnav HATED the second her warmth was taken away from him. And hearing the kind of thoughts that were plaguing her mind almost tore him apart.
How did he manage to make her feel so insecure over his trust on her?! He had to rectify his mistake now!
He immediately put his arm around her back and pulled her back to his chest - in his arms, where she belongs.
"Of course not Khushi! How could you even think that?! I trust you more than anything! Khushi..." He rolled her over slightly so that she was now on her back. "I LOVE you," he said, gently cupping her face with all the love in his heart shining in his eyes - for her.
Everything disappeared for Khushi in that moment. Everything except him.
Even though she'd heard it earlier on today, she still wasn't used to hearing the beautiful words from his mouth and the butterflies in her stomach that came with it...
"Khushi I love you," he repeated. "And I trust you. I know you wouldn't even think of another man in that way... But hearing you called another man yours... It doesn't sit well with me Khushi..."
Khushi opened her mouth to retort but Arnav continued before she could say anything.
"I know why you did what you did. And I can't complain because you are with me, safe and sound now, because of that brave act of yours. But Khushi... this hurt that I'm feeling has nothing to do with trust."
"Don't you see Khushi? This is my right. The right to be called yours. The right to call you mine. Yeh sab pe sirf or sirf mera haq hai! Or tum yeh haq kisi aur ko de - ek drama keliye hi sahi - yeh mujhe manzoor nahi hai, or kabhi hoga bhi nahi. Tum samajh rahe ho na ki main kya kehraha hoon? (Only I have the right to do these things. And you giving these rights to someone else - even if it's just for a drama - I'm not happy with it and I never will be. You understand what I'm saying right?)" Arnav explained calmly, not letting his eyes waver from hers even for a moment as he tried to get Khushi to understand his point of view.
"Hum samajh the hain... (I understand...)" she replied softly.
And she did. She knew how possessive Arnav was of her and her affection for him. She knew that he considered her as his exclusively, and he wasn't used to sharing her with anyone yet - not even her own family. And now when she thought of today's events from his point of view, she finally understood the anger and possessiveness he would have felt, hearing those words from her mouth.
After all she was the same as him - despite knowing that he didn't feel anything for Sheetal except maybe a few brotherly feelings, her own anger had peaked when hearing the words, my Sheetal,' from his mouth.
"But that doesn't mean that I'm not angry at you still," she added when she saw the relief settle on his features.
This time before he could retort, she spoke.
"You still haven't told me what you were talking about," she said, looking elsewhere so that he couldn't see the jealousy that had crept back into her despite his love confession.
But Arnav knew her inside out and each of her feelings were clear as day to him.
He sighed before placing a quick peck on the corner of her lips. "Khushi... You seriously don't have to be so jealous of Sheetal-"
"I'm not jealous!" she responded too quickly. "I-I'm just angry that you're hiding something from me!"
"If you say so," Arnav sang.
"I'm. Not. Jealous," she said narrowing her eyes at him, her nose turning red in anger.
He didn't say anything in response this time. He just looked into her mesmerising eyes, admiring her beauty - inside and out.
Khushi recognised the change in his eyes at once.
And unconsciously her face started to heat up with the blush that formed on her cheeks.
All the jealousy and insecurity that she had felt flew out of the window.
After all, what else could she ask from her life? This was every girl's dream...
Every girl wants a man who loves her, appreciates her and looks at her as if she was his world - in other words, just the way he was looking at her right now...
"Stop looking at me like that," she said, looking away from the unbearable intensity of his gaze.
"Like what?" he asked huskily, not looking a way even once.
"Like... Like I'm the most amazing person you've ever seen... Like... I'm the only thing you ever want... Like... Like..." she struggled, still refusing to meet his eyes.
Arnav lifted her chin up slightly to make her look into his eyes again.
When her eyes met his, he said, "You are the most amazing person I've ever seen. And you are the only thing I ever want... The world means nothing Khushi - but you mean everything to me." He didn't let his gaze waver even once as he said this.
Khushi felt so overwhelmed with his words, she couldn't even describe it. Never did she ever think she would have such an amazing man as her lover. She had always waited patiently for the rajkumar who would love her to bits - but nothing had ever prepared her for this. This feeling of belonging, this feeling of safety, this feeling of being head over heels in love!
She was so lost in her happiness that she didn't even realise when her next words came out, "I love you Arnavji."
Arnav blinked once, his face going blank.
He blinked again.
And again.
"W-what did you say?" he asked, his voice which was so quiet that Khushi only just barely heard it.
Only when he asked this question, did a perplexed Khushi replay the events of the last few seconds in her head, before her eyes widened with realisation.
But one look at his hopeful yet vulnerable face, and all her hesitation disappeared into thin air.
She gently cupped his face before looking him in the eye and saying with conviction, "I love you Arnavji."
And with that Arnav took her lips into a searing kiss that almost blew her mind.
When they finally pulled away minutes later he said breathlessly, "Say it again."
"I love you Arnavji," she repeated.
He kissed her again.
"Again," he demanded.
"I love you," she said, smiling.
Again he kissed her.
"Again."
"I love you, Arnavji," she said laughing breathlessly.
He pecked her lips.
"Again."
"I love you Laad Governor!!!" she said loudly.
His lips were a breath away from hers, as he was about to peck her again when what she just said sank in.
He pulled away suddenly. "What did you call me?" he asked with a disbelieving look on his face.
"Arnavji," she replied, a little too innocently.
"Oh really?" he said, raising an eyebrow.
Before she could reply he started tickling her, making her laugh crazily.
She begged him to stop as she laughed uncontrollably while fighting to swat his hands away, but he didn't relent saying, "Laad governor huh? I'm a laad governor? Now I'll show you how much of a laad governor I am."
"Arnavji! Arnavji please!" she laughed.
"Ok I'm sorry, I give up! I shouldn't have said that," she laughed, still trying to escape with no success.
"So who I am I?" he asked, still tickling her, not ready to stop.
"You're my friend. My lover. My Arnavji. And definitely not a laad governor," she said, trying to control her laughter.
"That's better," Arnav said, before he finally took pity on her and stopped tickling her.
But he didn't let go of her - he slid one arm under her head, and snaked his other arm around her waist, pulling her back against him securely so that her back was now in contact with his chest.
She lay snug in his embrace, her head resting on his arm. He then bent the arm she was laying her head on so that the hand now rested on her shoulder, which he then rested his chin on. She was now completely spooned by him.
Khushi placed an arm on each of Arnav's, pulling his arms closer, loving the feeling of being cocooned in his arms.
She twisted her head up to look up at him and whispered softly, "I love you."
Arnav smiled, feeling his heart warm at the words, "I love you too," he replied huskily, placed a small peck at the corner of her lips.
They just laid there together, enjoying the feel of being with each other.
It was a while before Arnav finally broke the silence.
"Sheetal was just asking if we would be returning there after the incident today. And I made the excuse that you were tired because I wanted you all to myself today - especially after everything that happened..."
Khushi squeezed his arms knowing exactly how he felt - because she hadn't felt any different.
"I promised her we'll go there tomorrow. And she volunteered to make lunch tomorrow for us, because she didn't want you to cook while you might still be stressed over today. And... she said she had a friend's party to attend tomorrow and she would appreciate it if we would select a dress for her..."
When Khushi looked at Arnav weirdly he rushed to explain, "Girls love shopping according to her - and I can only trust her word on that because she's a girl and I'm clearly not... She thought it would take your mind off things and keep you preoccupied..."
"She's being really considerate - she's trying to do everything she can to try and make you feel better. That's really sweet of her don't you think?" Arnav said, genuinely.
"I don't know Arnavji... You can call it my gut feeling but... I just don't trust her... I feel like she's not what she looks..." Khushi said.
"Khushi I know she likes me, and because of that you're not a huge fan of her... But just because she likes me it doesn't mean she's a bad person right? I mean, I've known her for a few years now and I've never seen or felt anything odd about her..."
"Hmmm..." she agreed reluctantly - for now.
"Can we talk about something else Arnavji? I don't want to make my day any worse by discussing Sheetal," she said.
"Okay," Arnav agreed, understanding her feelings.
"But you do know that I only love you right?" he said, placing a kiss on her shoulder before resting his cheek against hers.
"Yes. But my situation isn't like yours. Shyam was a criminal and you knew I would never love him. And plus you only ever had to be jealous over him on one occasion. He's gone now. But Sheetal? She's a constant in your life who I will always have to face - and it doesn't seem like her liking for you will die down any time soon. So every time we see her - which I know is going to be often - I have to sit down and watch while she tries to make a move on you! It's not that I don't trust you... I just don't trust her."
"And more than that... every time I see her try to gain your attention, I just feel so angry because... because you're mine! You were talking about your rights a few minutes ago right? Well I feel the same way - touching you, kissing you, even trying to gain your attention are all my rights! Only mine! And I just can't bear to sit down and do nothing while I watch another woman try to snatch my rights away from me!"
Arnav sighed - as much as he wanted to argue with her, he knew that he would have felt the same if he were in her place. Only he wouldn't be bearing it like her - he would have already dug out the eyes of the man who had dared to look at his Khushi.
"Just remember Khushi - you are the one who made this stone feel again. You are the one who made this heart beat again. You are the one who showed me what love is again. And now, this little heart of mine belongs to you - no scratch that - I belong to you, body, heart and soul," he confessed.
Khushi couldn't help the smile that bloomed on her face...
"Arnav and Khushi -" he started.
"Forever right?" she finished for him.
"Forever," he promised, sealing the deal with a kiss.
So guys? How was it? Please do let me know through your likes/comments.
I have exams coming up from next week so update will probably be a few days late, so please bear with me - but please please please do let me know how this chapter was. Your response is my motivation.
Tum Se Tum Tak
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