Previously on...
Armaan's panic attack.
Track 3 - It's You, Ryan Cabrera
The next few minutes, everyone sat stunned, waiting for news about Armaan.
"How is he?" Rahul asked, jumping to his feet as the doctors came out.
"He's fine. Should consciousness in an hour or so."
"And he's absolutely fine."
"Yes, he is."
"You mean, no cardiac arrest?"
"No. None. He's fine. Just stressed."
Rahul breathed a sigh of relief and sat down.
"He's fine, Ray. Don't worry about it. Call me if you need anything, okay?" Dr. Sanders asked before leaving.
"Of course, thank you."
Dr. Reynolds sat beside him.
"What happened? We haven't had such a bad one in years now."
"Jenny's been in an accident."
"Oh. Is it serious?"
"Yes. Plus, he's been really stressed with all the wedding planning. Not to mention coming to terms with the fact that Jenny is leaving."
"Yes, of course. We've been talking about it. But, he's never had such a strong reaction before. I mean, he is sad about her leaving, but he's coming to terms with it. Plus, he knows it's nothing like the last time. Are you sure that's all?"
Rahul sighed.
"There's something else. But, I'm sure Ammy would want to tell you about it himself."
"Is it... is it regarding... You know..." Dr. Reynolds couldn't bring himself to say the name out loud.
"Yes," Rahul replied, sighing.
"Okay. That kind of explains it."
Rahul nodded.
"We'll have to schedule a session ASAP so that I can talk to him. Get in touch with Mrs. Monteiro, yeah?"
"Yes. Are we going back to 3 sessions a week?"
"For a while."
Rahul nodded. "Good. That's good."
"What?"
"What?"
"What's troubling you, Ray? Out with it."
Rahul sighed.
"I'm just a little overwhelmed, I guess. He hasn't had such a bad one since that one night when he couldn't get in touch with Tammy. That was almost 2 years ago. I guess... I guess, I'm just afraid of him relapsing."
Dr. Reynolds nodded. "I understand. But, don't worry. I'm sure he won't."
"But what if he does?"
"Then, you and I both know that he's strong enough to overcome it, just like he did the last time."
"I don't know..."
"Ray, we both know that he's one of the strongest people we've ever met. If someone can do this, it's him. I'm confident about that."
"I wasn't talking about him. I know he's strong enough. I'm not sure if I am. I can't go through that. Not again. Not now. Not ever."
"You seriously underestimate yourself, Ray. You can do it. And you're not going to be alone. You'll have Jenny and Tammy and Ronnie there with you. Among the 4 of you, I'm absolutely positive that you can face it head on. And so can he."
Rahul nodded.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Now go look if Jenny's fine. I have a session in sometime, so I'll have to leave."
"Of course. Thank you, Dr. Reynolds, for everything."
"Don't worry about it."
"And, Dr. Reynolds," Rahul called. He looked up. "What?"
"I'd appreciate it if you don't mention this to Hazel just yet. I'm sure Ammy would want to tell her about it on his own."
"Sure."
"Thank you."
"Rahul will you please tell us what is wrong with Armaan?" Nikki demanded.
Rahul sighed. "He has panic attacks."
"Panic attacks?" Riddhima asked.
"Yes, they started a few years ago after he came to New York."
"Is he okay dealing with them?" Riddhima questioned.
"He manages. He's got us. And Dr. Reynolds. That's his therapist, by the way."
"He's seeing a therapist?" Anjali asked, surprised.
"Yes. He started after the panic attacks didn't go away for sometime. Dr. Reynolds has been helping him get over them."
"Oh. Wow. That's... wow. I never expected this."
"That makes two of us then, Anjy."
"But, he is going to be fine, right?" Riddhima asked.
"Yes, he is. Don't worry, Riddhima. Armaan is well looked after, I promise."
"How are they? The attacks," Nikki asked.
"They're bad. Worse than they were in college, if you're asking."
Nikki looked surprised that Rahul knew.
"Yes, Nikki. I know all about it. From the panic attacks to the makeover and everything in between," Rahul replied, answering her unasked question.
"I can't believe he told you. He hasn't said anything about that to anyone," Nikki murmured.
"There's a lot of difference between the Armaan that left Sanjeevani 7 years ago and the Armaan today, Nikki. I hope you're all smart enough to realize that."
"Of course there is a difference. I just never thought he'd tell someone about it, you know? He was pretty ashamed of some of the stuff he did then. Especially with you," Nikki said.
Rahul sighed. "I know. God, I feel like such a jerk for hating him, you know. All those years, I thought that he was a good - for - nothing asshole who thought that he was God's Gift to women, who didn't care about anything but fun and never thought about anyone but himself, who didn't think twice about inflicting pain. And, in reality, he was just a broken, lost boy trying to drown away his sorrows."
Nikki pulled him into a hug.
"It's okay, Rahul. Almost everybody at college thought the same about him. I'd think it got worse once he got into med school. You shouldn't blame yourself for that. You hated him because he made you hate him."
"I guess. Still, makes me feel guilty as shit."
Nikki nodded in understanding.
"I'm going to check on Jaanhavi," Rahul said, getting up.
"I'll come with you," Nikki said, wanting to get away for a while. She needed to forget about Armaan and his panic attacks. They had always been so intense and they scared the beejeebus out of her. She couldn't see Armaan that way. Seeing him so broken even after so many years had had her shivering as she watched how Rahul handled him like a pro.
Riddhima on the other hand was completely taken aback. She didn't know shit about Armaan's panic attacks. But, Rahul and Nikki did. And he'd been having them for a long time now, she concluded from Rahul and Nikki's conversation. Even before they'd met. So, why hadn't he ever mentioned them? Why didn't she know about such an important part of his life?
She didn't know a lot of things, maybe. Armaan hadn't really been forthcoming about his past and she hadn't pressed about it. Maybe she should have. Maybe then, she wouldn't be feeling so lost and helpless and betrayed at the moment.
"He's going to be okay," Sid whispered as he sat beside her, putting an arm around her shoulder.
She looked up at Sid gratefully and curled into his embrace, crying bitterly. Of all things, she hadn't ever imagined that Armaan would end up in the hospital moments later after she saw him for the first time after all these years.
On the other hand, Nikki was really growing hysterical with every passing second. Jaanhavi was in a coma and Armaan was unconscious. This wasn't what she had had envisioned to happen at their re union. It was supposed to be laughter and tears and joy and ecstasy and hugs all around. Not them in hospital beds as she looked on helplessly.
"They're going to be okay, Nikki. Armaan and Jaanhavi, both of them. They're fighters. They aren't going to give up so easily. They're better than this."
Nikki nodded, not knowing what to say. Rahul sighed and pulled her into a comforting hug, trying to reassure her that everything would be okay.
"Rahul!" A voice called, causing him to pull back and turn around.
An elderly lady stood there, completely out of breath.
"Juhi Ma," Rahul whispered.
"How is she?" Juhi Ma asked.
"Not good," Rahul sighed.
"What do you mean?" Another voice asked. This belonged to a man.
"Chote Papa, she's in a medically induced coma. If she doesn't wake up in 36 hours, they're afraid..." Rahul trailed off, unable to continue.
"That she'll slip into a real one?" Rahul Mehra asked, already knowing, and dreading, the answer.
Rahul nodded mutely.
"Where's Armaan?" Juhi Ma asked. "Is he inside?"
Rahul shook his head. "He had another episode. It was pretty bad. He's in the room beside his cabin right now. I hope he regains consciousness in a few hours. I can't go on like this for long."
"Oh Rahul!" Juhi Ma whispered, pulling him into a hug that was so motherly and affectionate and reassuring, that he almost forgot all his worries for the time being. "It's going to be okay, alright? We're all here for you. We'll make sure nothing happens to Armaan or Jaanhavi."
Rahul nodded against her shoulder.
"Did you call Rohan?" Chote Papa (for better understanding, Rahul Mehra will be called Chote Papa irrespective of who he's talking to and Rahul Grewal will be Rahul, throughout!) asked as Rahul reluctantly pulled out of the hug.
Rahul shook his head. "We thought that he should concentrate on the meeting with the Board. We can tell him when he calls to let you know what the meeting was about and how it went."
Chote Papa nodded thoughtfully.
"I'm here. Go check on Armaan," he said. Juhi Ma nodded and motioned for Rahul to take her to him.
Rahul nodded and made Nikki sit on the stool outside Jaanhavi's room.
He bent on his knees in front of her. "Nikki, I need you to relax, okay? I'm going to go be with Armaan for sometime. I know you're scared to go there, so you can sit here. I'll keep you updated. And, I'll ask Abhi to give you company. Is that fine?" He asked.
Nikki nodded wordlessly.
Rahul turned his attention to Juhi Ma and led her to Armaan's room.
He opened the door and ushered her in.
Juhi Ma stilled on seeing him. Though she had witnessed him in this condition too many times than she would have liked, it still made her heartache every single time. Armaan had grown close to her in the past few years and him and Rahul were like her sons now. Seeing them in pain was excruciating for her.
She moved in closer and stood by his side, taking support of the bed rail. She lifted her hand and caressed his face gently, ruffling his hair. She knew how much he hated it. She half expected him to sit up and whine, "Not the hair, Ma," but he never even moved an inch.
Rahul bit back a sob at this. He knew that it was very difficult for Juhi Ma to see her kids in pain, any of them, but she shared a special connection with Armaan. He had a very special place in her heart, just like he did for most of the people whose lives he touched. Armaan was without a doubt the most amazing person he had met and one couldn't help but love him.
It was the same for Juhi Ma as well. That and the years of seeing Armaan in the same bed repeatedly, had made her worry all the more. She was afraid that someday the attacks would get too much for him to handle and he would actually have that cardiac arrest his doctor had warned all of them about.
Pushing the negative thoughts out of his mind, Rahul moved forward and wrapped an arm around her.
"He'll be fine, Ma."
Juhi Ma nodded, not really believing what Rahul was saying.
"We should wait outside. Let him rest," he suggested.
Juhi Ma agreed and moved out.
Padma Mom and Dr. Shashank along with the others were sitting outside, equally tensed with an anguished Sid trying to pacify a distraught Riddhima. She had started sobbing in earnest now and nothing that they had said to cheer her up or comfort her seemed to be working.
Nani moved to Juhi Ma. "Juhi, how is he?" She asked.
"Don't worry, Mom. My son is a fighter, he's going to be fine in no time at all," she said, trying to reassure them.
Padma Mom patted the spot next to her and made Juhi Ma sit there.
"Are you sure?" she asked, her voice breaking. The mixture of her worry for Armaan's health and the pain she felt when Juhi Ma had called Armaan her son, had made her voice crack.
"Don't worry, Padma. My Armaan can overcome this. I have faith in him."
Rahul smiled when he heard this. It was good that Juhi Ma was being optimistic about this. She had been in Padma Aunty's shoes too many times with him doing all the reassuring which never seemed to work. Juhi Ma would be all worked up until she saw with her own two eyes that Armaan was fine.
He moved and sat beside Riddhima, who was still crying. Sid, was hugging her, trying his best to reassure her as the gang huddled around, trying their best to do something to get her to stop crying as they controlled their own tears and frustration at the situation.
"Riddhima, can you please stop this?" He whispered. "Armaan is going to be fine. We know that. He's just been knocked unconscious. He'll be back to normal in a jiffy, I promise."
Riddhima looked up from her spot on Sid's shoulder with hopeful eyes.
"Promise?" She asked softly, like a little kid.
"Pinky promise," Rahul smiled, forwarding his right pinky finger.
Riddhima managed a somewhat small smile as she hooked her pinky around his.
"I'm really scared, Rahul. He is going to be okay, right? You were pretty tensed earlier. Don't lie to me, okay?" She said.
"I know, Riddhima. I am tensed, but not because Armaan is in any danger. It's just that he hasn't had such a bad panic attack in ages."
"Oh. Do you think, that somehow Jaanhavi's accident may have caused it to be so bad?" Anjali asked.
"Well, Jaanhavi's condition is certainly the trigger. But, I'm pretty positive he saw you standing there while we were talking to Matt, Riddhima," Rahul said.
"Are you trying to tell me that this is Riddhima's fault?" Sid spat.
Rahul shook his head. "I'm just stating facts, okay? It's obvious that Jaanhavi's reports are the reason for this, but, I'm just saying that your presence may have made things a little worse."
"Hey! Don't you go around accusing her without knowing the truth, okay? How can you be so sure that he saw her?" Sid asked.
"I'm not a 100% sure, but I am pretty confident," Rahul replied.
"Don't go on blaming others..." Sid started but Riddhima stopped him.
"I think you're right, Rahul," she whispered. "I think Armaan saw me, too."
"What?" the others chorused, surprised.
"Yes. It was when you helped him off the floor, Rahul. The first time. He looked around and his eyes widened when they wandered in my direction. It was only for a second, and I'm pretty sure that Armaan thought he was dreaming or something, but he did see me."
Rahul sighed.
"Do you think it is my fault? Should I leave?" She asked, worried.
"No!" Rahul all but shouted. Everybody looked at him surprised. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout. I'm just a little one edge. You don't have to leave, Riddhima. I'm sure Armaan wouldn't want you to change anything because of him."
"I don't want to cause him anymore pain..."Riddhima said.
Rahul smiled wistfully. How he wished that Armaan and Riddhima's story had gotten it's happily ever after.
"Don't worry, you won't be. And while we're discussing this, we should talk about something else as well," he told them.
"Nobody here knows you, Riddhima. They all know that Armaan had a bad break up, but no one is aware of the nitty - gritties and Armaan wants to keep it that way. So, it would be for the best if you guys didn't mention anything about your past relationship in front of anyone."
Riddhima nodded. "Anyone?" She asked.
"Yes," Rahul said. "Not any of the people at the hospital, his friends, Juhi Ma, Chote Papa, Rohan and especially Jaanhavi and Tammy. Don't ever mention it in front of those two, okay?"
"Why?"
Rahul sighed.
"Let's not get into that," he replied.
"No, Rahul. I want to know," Riddhima insisted.
"They're very protective of Armaan, okay? In fact, all of us are. And nobody likes the girl who broke his heart. But, Jenny and Tammy? They hate her with a passion. As a matter of fact, Ro isn't that far behind. So, you shouldn't."
Fresh tears made their way out of Riddhima's eyes. If only she hadn't been so blinded by her sense of duty.
"Of course," she whispered, heartbroken. "Nobody will know."
Rahul nodded. "Thank you."
xxx
Yes, it is pretty sad, isn't it?
Don't worry, though. Everything should be fine soon, hopefully.
Also, this one is for Tani!
Happy Birthday, hun! <3
I know you wanted ILYLTF, but that wasn't possible, so I did this! Hope you liked it!
Have a great, great day. Party hard!
And, I'll see you guys in the new year with an update for ILYLTF, mostly. Let's keep our fingers crossed! :D
Arjun
Cricket
Indian Mythology
233