This is a very different story from the current track.
Enjoy reading it.
Typos Might be there, Ignore please😉
Her Birthday
-shravs😳
I just got hold of my wife's diary while she is asleep with not so happy/ peaceful face. I wonder why is she not happy, given it's her birthday tomorrow. I just surprised her this morning by not going to work which i dread to do so, though she was all happy and smiling, i could see right through the act she was putting on. The way she always use to react whenever i use to tease her was not the same today, her face didn't had that crimson red which i use to adore when especially I am the reason behind it. She was not shying away with the teasing that were aimed at us by my sisters and mother. I was so dying to read her diary because she never shares her sorrows or things that bothers here. The only way i could get to know about her is via her diary. Again when she went on to her favourite place in the veranda, i confirmed she isn't in good mood. She goes there whenever she has something to write in her diary, and whenever she has something to write in her diary, I know she is remembering something that happened in her past. Though it hurts me to read about her past life, about that man or any of her memory especially unknown to her, but I also know how much love she has for me. I also understood why she has shut herself down. I feel helpless. Anyways before she wakes up lemme read her state of mind.
Hi my dear Diary,
It's been long since i came to talk to you via my writings. I have been really happy with my family for a change that, i really didn't had time to turn up here. Are you wondering why am I here today then? I'm not in my best of moods today.You will be wondering why is that so given that it's my Birthday tomorrow. I'm actually happy that I have a family, my in laws who are planning something special out there for me. But for some odd reasons, I'm not able to enjoy this. Everything that happened just comes into my mind blogging it.
I won't talk to you in riddle anymore, It is just that i miss my parents. They aren't here with me, in this world to share the fact that all those dreams they saw for me has come true. They wanted to see me happily married with a very loving and caring husband and his family, It is like I'm living their dream. Yet, they didn't see me getting married, neither my husband's love nor my in law's affection. All they saw was my emotional breakdown, their daughter like a soulless creature living a lifeless life.
They were willing to let go off me, so that i can find peace in some corner of this World. The comments that this World makes on a girl whose engagement has been called off by her own lover, what more my parents could have endured, I wonder. Every setback in our life comes as a blow. We always forget that, the only destination we all want is happiness, a group of our' people and lots of love around. I am really happy to say that, I heading towards my destination but just that, I miss my parents.
The word Mother' always gives us strength, It teaches us Selflessness, It gives us the feeling of being secured and safe. But, today, I'm afraid to say the same, as I call her Amma', I miss her lap, my eyes gets filled with unshed tears and suddenly I feel she has become my weakness. How weird it is that, your biggest strength becomes your biggest weakness as well.
Sometimes, it becomes so difficult to forget some things, especially when you carry the guilt of putting your parents through such sufferings. Even today I am guilty for ruining myself to such an extent that, Its impact made me completely ignorant to the fact that, i made my parents cry just because i was fighting a lost battle. The battle which they though i have won because almost my marriage was on the cards.
I do remember those days, when I use to avoid conversations with them, I use to isolate myself not able to face this world. How bad they would have felt to see their princess like that? You know what, excluding some initials days of suffering, I never really cried over my Broken engagement, I actually cried over the fact that i made my parents go through worse, and the most worst part of all was, I couldn't do anything about it, As I didn't know how to face those questions myself.
I have never seen such understanding parents, when they understood, how i felt with the so called topic of marriage, about the groom search. But, then I knew better than that, because All they wanted to see was me happily getting married. How was I supposed to tell them that I was afraid of getting into a new relationship. I was afraid to trust someone again with me, how was I supposed to tell them, I have lost trust in something called love, marriage, relationships.
And till their last breath they couldn't see me fighting back. They saw the loser in me. How bad a daughter I am. How to tell my in laws working hard downstairs, just to make my birthday the best that I am not happy with this birth of mine. See, I am not even doing right by my new parents.
I suppose i won't see you any sooner.
Ishita
"Raman"
"Ishita" Without turning back to face her.
"What are you doing? Did you just read my diary?"
"Ishita.. I am sorry.. Actually i thought .. I mean... "
She spread her hand asking her diary from me, i still didn't meet her eyes, just forwarded her the diary mumbling a Sorry. I didn't know what else to do, i just turned back to go out of the room, I heard her say.
"Are you angry on me that I didn't share with you these things?"
This lady always astonishes me, here I was thinking she is mad at me for invading her privacy.
"I thought you are angry on me for reading you diary without your knowledge, and I am not angry on you for not sharing these things with me, I am just jealous of this diary" I said putting my face down.
"Oh so someone is jealous with a useless diary"
"I figured you aren't comfortable yet to share these things, and I won't push you until you willingly start sharing these things, I just want you to be happy, because amma appa are seeing you, they will not like you for drowning yourself in such a thing"
"I am sorry, I am comfortable with you, how can you even think something like that, It's just that i didn't wanna bother you with these things, because these things I can't explain, they are just complicated for one to understand."
"Do you really think, I won't understand you or your feelings?"
"I just don't know"
"I don't have anything to say right now, I am sorry for reading your diary, I won't hereafter."
I again tried to walk away, only to be pulled back by her in a hug.
"Are you angry?"
"I'm hurt"
"This is what i do to people, I hurt those who love me and whom i love back. I shouldn't have had a birth"
There she soaks my shirt with her tears saying this, which makes my eyesight blur too.
"Please don't cry. You know i can't see you this low"
"I can't see you this hurt either, this is the sole reason I don't even tell you anything, because I don't have it in me anymore to hurt those i love the most"
"You will never hurt me by sharing these things, though i always had this hard feeling reading your diary but the fact that i can't be your strength hurt me the most"
"You are, why will you even think otherwise."
"If I really was, If I am really then why don't you just stop shutting yourself from me. Just let me in. I promise to be your support always, I will be your strength, I will always lend you my shoulder, If you ever miss amma, appa. Even if it is some of your memories with that man, I will not push you away. Please just let me in."
I turned around hugging her. She nodded her head mumbling a sorry again like a small kid. yeah actually that's what she is. I grinned thinking something before she could even think what was happening, I carried her in my arms and took her to her favourite spot and sat down with her in my arm.
"Now tell me"
"What"
"You just said you will share things if you have any"
"You just red whatever I wanted to share with you."
"Liar."
"I don't lie"
"Okay then, tell me one thing, be honest and don't take my question otherwise because I know you love me"
"I love you much more than you know"
"My question is Will you even overcome his rejection and betrayal? Because I want my wife all for myself"
She went numb all of a sudden and hid her face snuggling more into me. I got my answer even before her verbalising.
"Raman I..."
"Ishita, don't worry I will heal you my way"
She just snuggled more into me. I patted her more, soon she slept off. I put her down in our bed kept either sides pillow as if she is a baby and went out to check on the surprise plan.
"Hey, Why are you here, are you mad, we told you not to leave her alone and come out, what if she comes out and sees all these "
"Huh... cut the crap simmi. She is sleeping "
"huh... common do your part of surprise, we are done with mine."
"huh... I know... "
At 11 pm when she got up, I was there beside her watching movie on my laptop. She was in confusion, i again tried to pat her to sleep, she just pushed my hand away and got up to go to restroom.
"You want my help baby" I teased
She frowned for not waking up.
"You could have woken me"
"You were so peacefully sleeping"
"Why did you keep on patting me... "
"huh... Then how that is my mistake."
"What will maa think. huh... "
"haha.. don't boost yourself that much, she is busy gossiping with her daughters"
"Huh... I am also her daughter."
"Haha... whatever. now common let's continue with this movie"
I tried to keep her with me as per the plan and made a very lame excuse, I realised as she gave me a All I know look.
"What"
"Nothing.. I wanna eat something"
"Yeah i have your favourite right here, come lets enjoy this... "
I again tried.. she again gave me a All I know smile. I tried to come up with even more believable excuse. But she made it easy for me
"Yeah I am coming, Btw, I am waiting for the surprise."
"What surprise" I tried to act innocent
"Be believable from my next birthday, or don't keep me home you know.."
"Huh... As I said don't boost yourself."
"Huh,,.."
she came beside me side hugging, we enjoyed rest of the movie.
I blindfolded her took her into my arms, while she resisted to put me down, as she shied to go in front of all like that. But, even she knew her fight was futile.
I carried her to where we had planned her surprise. She was a bit hesitant initially but then rested her head on my shoulder which told me she was okay being carried before my family, I mentally noted to tease her once we get to our bedroom after the surprise.
I dropped her in a big cradle and kissed her forehead, there was 30 seconds left for 12. I wanted to be the first to wish, But as she tried searching for me, I pulled myself back not letting her touch me. She so sweetly called me , as i was in trance the clock struck 12 and there was a huge noise from all the family members gathered.
"Happy Birthday Ishu/Ishita"
she took off her blindfold and saw everything astonished. But the very first thing she searched for was me and I grinned. then she looked astonished at the cradle which was full of gifts and her photos, her parents photos. For fraction of second, i saw a hurt in her eyes as her eyes laid on her parents, but she saw our wedding photo and her smile returned which was even brighter. All my family pampered her with lots of love , hugging and kissing. She playfully extended her hand to my mother to carry her out. The whole family had a laugh. My heart swelled seeing all my people happy especially the birthday baby. I walked to the cradle helped her come down. when i heard her say
"I love you Ravankumar"
I forgot my family was around, I kissed her cheeks while she pushed me away and my family teased us further.
Then we played music danced for sometime, all the time i just had eyes for her. She left my side, until now didn't come to me. Danced with each one of my family member, and here I waited for my opportunity. I really didn't tell yet that I sing, I thought why not give her a surprise this time a real surprise. I put off the music, everyone started their huh puff..
I played my guitar, everyone turned to me smiling, I haven't held that guitar in my hands for more than years now, with that my mother hugged my wife thanking her to bringing me back to my original form. While I started my dedication to my beautiful wife.
Tum Mile Toh Lamhein Tham Gaye
Tum Mile Toh Sare Gum Gaye
Tum Mile Toh Muskurana Aa Gaya
Tum Mile Toh Jadoo Chaa Gaya
Tum Mile Toh Jeena Aa Gaya
Tum Mile Toh Mene Paya Hai Khuda
Tujh Mein Kirana Dikhe
Dil Ko Sahara Dikhe
Aa Mere Dhadkan Tham Le
Teri Taraf Hi Mude
Yeh Saas Tujhse Jude
Har Pal Yeh Tera Naam Le
Tum Mile Toh Abb Kya Hai Kami
Tum Mile Toh Duniya Mil Gai
Tum Mile Toh Mil Gaya Aasra
Tum Mile Toh Jadoo Chaa Gaya
Tum Mile Toh Jeena Aa Gaya
Tum Mile Toh Mene Paya Hai Khuda
Din Mere Tujhse Chale
Raatein Bhi Tujhse Dhale
Hai Waqt Tere Haath Mein
Tu Hi Shehar Hai Mera
Tujh Mein Hi Ghar Hai Mera
Rehta Hai Tere Saath Mein
Tum Mile Toh Mil Gaya Humsafar
Tum Mile Toh Khud Ki Hai Khabar
Tum Mile Toh Ristha Sa Ban Gaya
Tum Mile Toh Jadoo Chaa Gaya
Tum Mile Toh Jeena Aa Gaya
Tum Mile Toh Mene Paya Hai Khuda
Din Mere Tujhse Chale
Raatein Bhi Tujhse Dhale
Hai Waqt Tere Haath Mein
Hooo Tu Hi Shehar Hai Mera
Tujh Mein Hi Ghar Hai Mera
Rehta Hai Tere Saath Mein
I saw her after my song, she had a very calm smile on her face with a very astonished eyes filled with happy tears. I opened my arms to her, she came running to me and kissed my cheeks. I saw her crying like never before, she just cried and I let her cry, I reasoned my parents and sister that she misses her parents. She snuggled into me more and patted her mumbling It's okay though my eyes teared up. May be my tears touched her, she just brushed me away staring angrily at me. I understood, I told I will be strong enough and I cried. Huh... She went to my mom and hugged her , when I heard her say
"Can I sleep with you today Maa.." and Gave me a teasing smile. Huh.. she just punished me. My mother happily accepted her, my sister joined them too, I kept on looking at her, trying to convey that I will leave you for this.
My Father came behind patting me, saying
"Sometimes these distances increases closeness" I genuinely smiled taking that in a different perspective altogether. May be she also needed some time to process everything that happened, because today our chemistry changed for ever. With that i took a look at them gossiping, mumbled a Goodnight which I am sure it reached her and left to my room. where I found three little devils who was told by their Mami to fill in for her.
Hope You enjoyed..😊😊
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