FF; BEING MRS. RAVAN KUMAR chap 113-117(LAST CHAP) Pg 157**updated** - Page 70

Finallyyy saare sach bahar aa rahe hai and Im loving it! Why can't ishita stop chanting this divorce shit! Arghh!

I loveddd how SHAGUN WAS THROWN OUT! Woahooo! Something which I thoroughly enjoyed!

Ishita and Mr.Bhalla talking is something new and I hope all goes fine btwn them. Im happy that Mr

Bhalla for once thought about swallowing his pride and ego and try being good!

Cont soonnn... Can't wait!

I hope this separation ends! I hope they all reunite, close the case by clearing off all the parasites in their life!

So at last the confrontation between ishra happened even though half of way. I hope soon all the revelations happen. Very much eagerly waiting for the full confrontation of Ishra and hope ishita stop chanting of divorce and leaving Raman.

u r an brilliant writer

if any one can read u r story then they get addicted to it

i did not get enoug of u r updates i can read u r stories like 10 times but i did not get bored

u write stories with different concepts and they all are so sooo good

thanks for pm

continue soon

can't wait for update

I'm speechless coz another mystery.why they want kill shagun?????

waiting until Sunday...

No words to say!

Loved all ur stories

Thanks for the pm!

Waiting for sunday

CHAPTER SEVENTY SEVEN

This was unchartered territory for Ishita. She and Mr. Bhalla had never really been on the same page for anything and this Mr. Bhalla was someone she wasn't used to and so she didn't quite know how to behave around him.

'I didn't quite see it then and for that I apologize. I see now, I know now how much you cared about my son and how much you loved him. If I am to gather from what I see, you are still in love with him...'' He said looking at her

'I am not talking about this with you...'' She said blocking out the wave of emotions he was awakening

'Fair enough...I haven't earned the right to do so, so I won't push it.'' He said putting his hands up

'What do you want from me Mr. Bhalla...'' Said Ishita

'To say thank you, for saving my life and also to apologize for what Shagun and I did to your family and also appreciate you for not telling Raman about it...'' He added

'What makes you think I won't tell him...'' Asked Ishita as she folded her hands across her chest and looked at him

'True... But if you wanted to tell him, you would have already done that by now...'' Said Mr. Bhalla looking at her as he added

'I know it was a little unfair with what happened to your father...'' Said Mr. Bhalla and Ishita became livid

'A little unfair... A little unfair are you kidding me... You and Shagun showed up at my hospital bed and threatened my family. You didn't even have to go that far, all you had to do was ask Raman to leave me but you didn't because you knew he would never do that...'' Said Ishita

'I know... I know what you must have gone through...'' He said but she interrupted

'You have no freaking idea what I went through. I had just been told I had cancer, my babies were premature and they were having their own health problems, my father's whole life was turning upside down, my sister was just coming from jail and so was my best friend. My mother was going through so much with everything and then their came you and your threats...'' Said Ishita

'Well... Well... Well... There has to be a God I swear because this is what we call poetic justice...'' Said Mr. Bhalla as he walked into the hospital

Ishita had been there for a couple of weeks and she was starting chemotherapy that morning. She looked tired and stressed out with two IV lines on her hand. If Shagun and Mr. Bhalla had any sense of sympathy they would have seen that she was terribly sick but they chose to see what they wanted

'So... I am guessing them bas***d kids were killing you...'' Said Mr. Bhalla

'Maybe they also know the way they came into this world was so wrong and they will only be known as filth...'' Said Shagun

'What... What do you want...'' Said Ishita speaking softly

'Easy... I heard from a little birdie that those babies of yours need a lot of medical care. I mean they are premature babies and there were complications you see. I imagine you need a lot of money to handle that. Money you do not have...'' Said Mr. Bhalla looking at Ishita and he could see she was getting angry

'Now I know you being daddy's little girl, he will take care of you and everything. I mean that is what you think right...'' Said Shagun

'What do you want...'' Said Ishita

'Simple... Raman wants to come find you, talk things over, find out why you are having illegitimate babies... He wants to talk and I don't want that. I want you out of our lives and I am not allowing my son to act like a spineless love stricken puppy and bring you back to create havoc...'' Said Mr. Bhalla

'You can' do anything... If he wants to come and talk to me I won't say no... I will tell him everything... And I say everything, I mean everything, Right from the word, go ...'' Said Ishita

'You see that is my worry... She is very impulsive... Motherhood tends to do that I hear...'' Said Shagun as she turned to Mr. Bhalla

'Ishita... Let us not waste each other's time... When Raman comes here, your sorry ass had better keep quiet.'' Said Mr. Bhalla

'Or what...'' Said Ishita

'Turns out your father has defaulted on his loan for a couple of months now... Did you know that...'' Said Mr. Bhalla

''You said you would write that loan off...'' Said Ishita

'And now I am changing my mind...'' Said Mr. Bhalla carelessly

'You can't do that...'' Said Ishita as she began crying

'Actually I can, when I told you I would write it off, I never really out that in writing anywhere so... He is a defaulter... ' Said Mr. Bhalla

'You can't do that... Shagun are you going to watch him do this to dad...'' Said Ishita crying

'He is your father not mine... I am an Arora...'' Said Shagun much to Ishita's surprise

'I will take everything he has, which I have already done and I am also going to ensure that he rots in jail...'' Said Mr. Bhalla

'You can't do that... You are a demon... You are...''Said Ishita causing Mr. Bhalla to bend down to where she was ad he whispered

'Young girl... I suggest you start addressing me with respect... Your father's life is dependent on me and what I am willing to do...'' He said getting up as he said

'Now this is what we are going to do... You will refuse to see Raman, tell him nothing and your father will not be able to see any jail time. If the loan defaulting charges don't work I will think of something.'' Said Mr. Bhalla

'You... You can't do this... Please... He has done nothing to you...'' Said Ishita who was in tears and in pain

'Actually I can... Turns out when you rich like I am, a lot of things can go your way when you want them too. That is the way the world works... I suggest you listen to me and don't dare me... You do not want to cross me...'' Said Mr. Bhalla before he turned and left the room with Shagun not so far behind

'My father had done absolutely nothing to you and yet you punished him so cruelly... He didn't deserve that... You and Shagun are the devil... What you did to him wasn't right... It wasn't fair... Your fight was with me... Not my family...'' Said Ishita crying

'Ishu I am...'' He said but she interrupted

'Don't call me that... You have not earned the right to ever call me that...'' She shouted at him

'Okay I am sorry...'' Said Mr. Bhalla putting his hands up

'My father cried at my bedside every night blaming himself for things that had nothing to do with him. I watched him fall apart every day because he couldn't take care of me. I was worried all the time because he thought you were taking him to prison because he thought there was nothing he could do about it. He cried at your feet begging you to have mercy... I could hear him crying in the hospital corridor when you threatened him...'' Said Ishita crying

'I am...'' Said Mr. Bhalla who was at a loss of words as tears welled up in his eyes as well

'I heard you tell him; it was his fault for raising such useless human beings as daughters... He cried and repeatedly apologized... He blamed himself for everything... You made him feel like he was a worthless and useless father and husband all just so what... Amazing Shagun can be seen in a better light than me...'' Said Ishita crying but this time Mr. Bhalla just kept quiet

'How is Shagun working out for you as a daughter in law... Is she everything you wanted...'' Said Ishita mocking but he still just kept quiet and let her talk

He knew she needed this out, he knew she needed to let it out. She had had anger built up in her for 7 whole years and he more than anyone knew what that kind of rage can do to someone. You end up acting crazy and not thinking straight

'I am so... Okay just hear me out... Please...'' He begged

'What...'' She yelled

'You and I have always had one thing in common .Our immense love and care for Raman and I think along the way we both forgot he was capable of taking care of himself and therefore always ended up taking all these decisions for him without considering what he wanted and I think somehow that is the reason we got here...'' He said

Are you seriously equating what you did to ...'' She said but he interrupted

'No...No... I know I messed up big time, trust me I know and I am probably going to spend the rest of my days trying to make it up to all my children but you are not so blameless yourself...'' He said but Ishita just kept quiet wiping the tears that were streaming down her face because she knew he was right

'I remember the day my son walked into my office telling me he had fallen in love with you and not Shagun, I was livid. I knew who you were because I knew who your father was. I also knew there was a high possibility that your being with him had nothing to do with you loving him so I did everything in my power to make sure that he found someone else. Even if it wasn't Shagun I wanted him to find someone else. But each time I tried, he just fell more and more in love with you. You had a hold on him, I knew it and there was nothing I could do...'' He said

'Why is this relevant to me now...'' Said Ishita trying to stay as far away from the Raman conversation as possible

'You should have seen him fight for you. I had never seen him stand up for anything, hell anyone until the day he walked into my office with papers of resolution of our business.'' Said Mr. Bhalla letting out a soft laugh as he remembered

'He said to me, papa, I know I am hurting you so much by doing this and I am so sorry as a son I am more than sorry but if you are asking me to choose between you and her, I choose her, dad... Maybe it is stupid or idiotic and that is fine... But I choose her...'' He added

Ishita knew a lot of things about how she and Raman eventually managed to get married but she had no idea about this story. In fact Raman never even mentioned this to her and she was hearing this for the first time. All the tears she was struggling to keep inside kept threatening to stream down all over again

'Then there was your wedding day, Shagun had told me about your college boyfriend... Imagine my surprise when I found out that he actually lived in Delhi. So I organized and got him here...'' Said Ishita

'Hold on... You called Abhimanyu here... You called Abhimanyu here...'' Said Ishita shocked and angry

'I thought he would change your mind such that you left my son alone but no... Even then nothing... He just turned around and left... You know he was supposed to talk to Raman that day, not you...'' Said Mr. Bhalla

'Okay is this conversation going anywhere...'' Said Ishita in a cold manner

The truth of the matter was she wanted to avoid this conversation because it then meant that she had to deal with a lot of emotions that she was struggling already to keep inside.

'I didn't know he was a Sharma, I found that out later after your first pregnancy and that brought its own complications...'' He said

'Oh no... There was no complication... You chose to humiliate and emotionally torture my family because it was the easier choice. Now you are going to sit back, relax and watch while I humiliate and emotionally torture the person you love the most... Your son... The reason I am still here is because I wanted him to fall so in love with me that when I break him down bit by bit, he will not know or see what is coming and this time, trust me he won't survive it'' Said Ishita trying to sound as cold and as believable as she could but she was failing miserably

'My son loves you Ishita... Even with everything you have done to him he loves you. You see me, I am his father, I get leeway where certain things are concerned and he may find it a bit easier to forgive me for what I have done to him but you...'' Said Mr. Bhalla sitting up his voice breaking

'The kind of love he has for you means with every hurt, there should be ten times more pain but no, he still sees the good in you when everyone else can't. You manipulated him, lied to him, used him from the day you met and even as he knows so now, he still loves you like he did the first day you met, or even more...'' He added

Mr. Bhalla could see Ishita was beginning to get uncomfortable and he had hit a nerve. She had tears in her eyes that she was desperately trying to hide but he could see right through.

'The contract was clear and I want nothing to do with your son. He and I ...'' She said as she wiped the tears that were streaming down her face

'Don't do that... Don't pretend you do not care... It doesn't hurt anyone else but you... So don't pretend you don't care... Much less about Raman... that would be a load of bullshit that even I can see right through...You can't even say that with a straight face... Just saying you that hurts you more than you lead on'' Said Mr. Bhalla causing Ishita to get up and walk away just so she could compose herself

'I have a proposition for you...'' He said as he got up and followed her

'You still have 3 months on that contract, stay and see it through. Give him a chance to show you that he is nothing like me. If he manages to convince you that he in fact isn't and you choose to stay, I will walk out of this house leaving you two alone... And you will never even lay eyes on me let alone hear from me again...'' He added

'What makes you think he even wants that... What makes you think I want that...? ' Said Ishita turning and looking at him

'So are you saying you do not love Raman anymore...'' Said Mr. Bhalla baiting Ishita and she took it

'I love him but not enough to stay, He has never given me reason to stay, I didn't have it then and I sure as hell do not have it now. I am leaving after that contract expires and that is only so I can complete what I came here to do...'' She said

'What did you come here to do Ishita...'' Mr. Bhalla asked

'Now why would I tell you that...'' Said Ishita tauntingly

'Is it to seek revenge on me... Tell me... If you want me to pay back your dad I will, if you want to take me to the cops here I am... Take me...I you want to send me to jail for whatever here I am... ... I give you everything I own if you want... Take all the rage out on me not on him. Raman doesn't deserve this and you know it...'' Said Mr. Bhalla as he fell at her feet his voice breaking

'I am begging you, Ishita please... He won't survive it... I don't think he can survive you leaving him a second time Ishita please understand... You weren't here so you don't know how hard it was for him... Ishita let me do anything you want... Anything ...'' He pleaded tears streaming down his face

'Vishu...'' Said Santosh who had come for him and she was shocked when she saw him kneeling at Ishita's feet

'Are you okay...'' She asked concerned but Ishita just looked at her and then back at Mr. Bhalla who was steal kneeling down holding her feet and didn't reply

'Vishu get up...'' Said Santosh as she took her husband helping him up

Santosh had a million questions concerning what she had just seen but she chose against it. This was a battle that was between her husband and Ishita and she wasn't interfering anymore. Vishu needed to do this on his own; if she had interfered it may have made things worse. Mr. Bhalla got on his feet looking at Ishita before he wiped the tears that had streamed down his face

'Please tell me you will think about it that is all I ask...'' He said but Ishita remained quiet causing Santosh to lead her husband back inside

'Oh here you are... Ishita Raman is asking after you...'' Said Simmi as she looked at her father then back at Ishita

'Something wrong...'' She added

No... I am fine... Where is Raman?'' Ishita asked as she wiped her tears

'In his room...'' said Simmi and Ishita walked away from the roof leaving them there

She first walked to her room closing the door as she composed herself. She didn't want Raman to see her like that and she most definitely didn't want to show any weakness. That wasn't the plan... And it wouldn't help her cause as well

'Buzz...'' Off went her phone

'Ishu... Abhimanyu... Everything okay...'' he asked

'Abhi... Oh God... This is hard...'' Said Ishita crying

'Calm down... What happened...'' He asked worried because with Ishita this was unusual

'I can't do this... I can't...'' She said hyperventilating as she walked to the bathroom locking the door hoping no one heard her crying

'Just a few more weeks and you are out... Hang in their...'' Said Abhimanyu who could understand what she was going through

'I can't... I ca... I can't... ' She cried struggling to talk

'Ishu...'' Said Abhimanyu softly

'It was... It was... It should have been simple op, a simple assignment... Arrest some really bad people while saving him and his family. That was it, now I feel like I am using him all over again. I can't... This is...'' She cried

'Ishita... Ishu... Breathe... Just calm down and breathe...'' Said Abhimanyu as he tried to calm her down

********************************************************

scroll down chapter seventy sight

CHAPTER SEVENTY EIGHT

'It was... It was... It should have been simple op, a simple assignment... Arrest some really bad people while saving him and his family. That was it, now I feel like I am using him all over again. I can't... This is...'' She cried

'Ishita... Ishu... Breathe... Just calm down and breathe...'' Said Abhimanyu as he tried to calm her down

'Here hold onto the line, I have something for you...'' Said Abhimanyu and Ishita could hear him running somewhere

'Mom...'' Said Ruhi in a sweet angelic voice

'Hey pumpkin... How are you...'' Said Ishita having a sudden sense of calm all of a sudden

'I miss you mummy... I want to come see you and papa...'' Said Ruhi

'I am working on it sweetie I promise...'' Said Ishita

'Mama...'' Said Aditya

'Yes...'' Said Ishita holding her mouth to stop herself from giving it away that she was crying to her children

'Mama is papa still ill...'' Asked Aditya

'I want to see him...'' He added his voice breaking and this just broke Ishita's heart even more

'Aditya honey, don't cry. Look, I promise you that I am going to bring you here and you met him...'' Said Ishita

'Promise...'' said Ruhi

'Pinky promise...'' Said Ishita

'Mama... Pinky promise is special... No breaking pinky promises...'' Said Ruhi sweetly

'I won't I promise...'' Said Ishita as she let out a soft laugh

'Hey...'' Said Abhimanyu as he took the phone from them

'Where are you guys...'' She asked

'Relax; I still have no idea where your new house is. Shlok brought them for ice-cream that is where I met them.'' Said Abhimanyu

'Thank you... I needed to hear their voices...'' She said calming down

'I know... And you are welcome...'' Said Abhimanyu

'I don't even know what I am going to do. I can't hold out on them anymore. I hate it when I lie to them...'' Said Ishita

'Can I suggest something, do not blow my head off if I do...'' Said Abhimanyu

'What...'' Said Ishita as she wiped her tears

'You can just tell him...'' Said Abhimanyu

'And when you say tell him, you mean'' Said Ishita

'Everything... Just tell him why you came back... The real reason not the bullshit one you gave everyone...''

'Meaning... I have no idea what you are talking about. I came back to...'' She said but he interrupted

'Revenge so I have heard...'' He said letting out a soft laugh

'That is true...'' She said

'oh Ishu please... Revenge my ass... You wanted to help him...'' Said Abhimanyu

'But...'' She said but he interrupted

'Ishu, you have to be one of the most kind revengeful person I have ever met. You revenge by making everything better...'' Said Abhimanyu in a mocking way before he added

'Come on... It is me you are talking too not Shlok or Romi or even Abhishek. They believe you because they do not know you as well as I do. Just tell him yaar...'' Said Abhimanyu

'I can't do that...'' Said Ishita

'Okay... At least tell him about Ruhi and Aditya... The truth... There his kids too you know and with what probi has told me, he already knows given the events of the last couple of days...'' Said Abhimanyu

'Okay... Probi has a name and it is Mihir and two, I don't think he even wants that. He has never really acknowledged them as his you know...'' She said

'Have you ever given him chance to do so...'' Said Abhimanyu causing Ishita to get defensive

'What is this now? Are you on team Raman all of a sudden...'' She said causing Abhimanyu to laugh

'I can sense you are feeling better now...'' He said and she chuckled

'Thank you... I will get back to you later... I have to go talk to Raman'' Said Ishita

'Alright... Take care... Bye...'' Said Abhimanyu

'Arre wait... Why did you call me...'' She asked

'It can wait... Don't stress...'' He said before hanging up

Ishita hang up and sighed with relief thanking God she had managed to calm herself down in a few minutes. She knew that conversation with Raman was going to be very hard and she had been dreading it since she walked into that house but she also understood that it was necessary. She had to put a few things right.

She stayed in their a few more minutes as she washed her face and freshened up a little before she walked out only to find Santosh sitting on the bed waiting for her

'Oh God now what...'' Said Ishita irritated

'Nothing... I just came to tell you Raman is asking for you...'' Said Santosh as she looked at Ishita critically

'Why are you looking at me like that...'' Ishita asked

'Nothing... I just stayed to make sure you were okay... I could hear you crying so I wanted to check on you...'' Said Santosh getting Ishita off guard

'Since when has it ever bothered you if I cry or not...'' She said defensively

'Wow... I am sorry I was just trying to help...'' Said Santosh

'No... I am good thank you...'' Said Ishita irritated

'You know... That hate you work so hard to show... I can see right through it...'' Said Santosh before she walked out

Ishita walked to Raman's room with Santosh's voice echoing through her head. If she had let something slip or somehow managed to show more than she wanted then it was going to be hard to convince them when the time came. She got to Raman's room and knocked on the door before she opened only to find Raman holding papers in his hands.

He wasn't reading then but was just staring at them almost as if he was their but his mind was somewhere completely different. She looked around and she could see her laptop on the on the table as well as her books properly laid out. She looked at him and them at the open closet door and she could see her suitcase properly put away, something she wasn't expecting...

'Raman...'' She began to talk but he interrupted

'I should hate you Ishita...'' He said

'What...'' She said taken back

'I should be hating you and loathing you for everything you have put me through... I mean I am not blameless no ... I know that but my God you never made it easy...'' Said Raman before he turned and looked at her

'I mean seriously speaking I should be having so much hate you right now given what I know. I should have a rage for you so strong for playing me all these years... But I can't... My heart... It just refuses to do so...'' He said

Ishita knew this was going to be hard to hear and yet it was within his right to do and say whatever he wanted to her and so she had to sit down and take it.

'Everything about us... Was it a lie...? Where you just playing me just so you could play out your revenge on Shagun...'' He asked

'No... I mean not everything...'' She said

'The first day we met... Did you arrange that...? Did you bump into me on purpose...'' He asked

'No... I swear No... That was a coincidence...'' Ishita said

'Then... How about after that...'' He asked again but she kept quiet

'Answer me Ishita... You owe me that much at least...'' He said

'The second time we met... That was arranged to happen ...'' Said Ishita who was slowly realizing, this was going to be harder than she thought

'So I was just an assignment...'' Said Raman scoffing but Ishita kept quiet

'Do you still love him...'' He asked

'Love who...'' Said Ishita

'Abhimanyu... Do you still love him...'' He asked and Ishita knowing this whole was dependent on that fact staying in tact didn't say a thing

'Should I take your silence for truth or am I just another assignment again...'' He said bluntly

'I never said I am here on assignment...'' Said Ishita

'Ishu please, I am maybe a fool when it comes to my feelings but I am not an idiot'' He said

'Then you know I can't tell you anything'' She said

'How long have you been a cop...'' He asked

'I am not a cop... How many times will I tell you that ...'' Said Ishita and he could tell that she wasn't lying about that

'So this...'' He said lifting the papers in front of her and she could see they were the contract papers Mr. Bhalla and she had signed

'This is all true... You really came here because you wanted you leave me'' He asked

'Yes...'' Said Ishita hesitating a little before she answered

Raman turned and looked at her almost as if he was finding answers in her eyes. Ishita not knowing what to do just stayed put and let him. He was getting teary she could see but he was also unusually calm, something that freaked her out a bit. A small smile crept on his face before he said

'See I can tell you are lying to me...''

'What...'' She said cursing under her breath

'When I met you I could tell you were not the sort of person who fell in and quickly out of love. You never gave anything away easily. For me to even know your favorite prefume I had to literally drag that out of you. But through this chase of making you fall in love with me, I learnt a few things in the process. For example, when you are upset, you do one of two things, you storm out and avoid confrontation or you act out, when you are happy, there is light in your eyes, it is so infectious that it always made me happy just seeing you happy...'' Said Raman letting out a soft laugh

'Raman Ple...'' Said Ishita but he interrupted

'Then there is that tell when you lie to me. You always looked straight into my eyes and hold your breath while crossing your fingers...'' He said causing Ishita to look down at her hand and she was doing just that

'Crap...'' She whispered to herself

Raman looked up at her and took her hand bringing her to the bed and sitting her across from him. He placed the papers on the bed between them and looked up at her saying

'Everything that is in here...'' He said pointing at the papers

'And everything that is out there as of this moment, they are non-existent... It is just you and me...'' He said looking at her

There was a silence in the room for a second or two and in the time nothing was said although a lot was being heard. It was evident she really didn't want to be there, confrontations are something she hated and Raman, he was the exact opposite, he wanted to know, he had a lot of questions that needed answering and he wanted her to tell him everything. She owed him that much.

'I really do not want to be that guy... The guy who holds on and holds on to the point where you feel like I am suffocating you because I can't let go... I love you Ishita... Too much ... But my love for you has never been selfish and I love you enough to let you go if it means your happiness lies somewhere else... this...'' He said his voice breaking as he pointed at the contract that lay between them again

'This was not needed... If you want me to walk away from you ... I will... Just say the word and I will let you go with everything you want I will give it to you. I just need for you to look me in the eye and tell me you never loved me... Convince me that you do not love me such that I will not have reason to fight for you anymore...'' He said clearing his throat as he struggled to push back his tears

Ishita looked at Raman and she could see this whole fiasco had taken a toll on him and it was killing him bit by bit. She hated seeing him like this, she hated being in this position. This made things worse and for as long as she was still on assignment, her and Raman was never supposed to happen again. That was the rule she promised Abhishek she would live by.

'It is very simple... Do you love me or not...'' He said but she kept quiet

'Why are you so afraid of admitting how you feel about me...?'' Said Raman frustrated

'I am not afraid of anything... Raman please let us just, drop , this. If this is why you called for me I need to leave'' She said and walked to the door

'Don't bother. Mom locked it from the outside and she has all the keys including the spares... She won't open until I tell her to...'' Said Raman as he got up walking to where she was and he could see she had tears in her eyes

'Raman Please... I need to leave... I have to go see...'' Said Ishita her voice breaking but Raman wasn't listening.

He pulled her close as he took his hand putting it on her chest forcing Ishita to look at him having an inkling of what he was about to do

'I promise to keep you here and never to shut you out because every happiness, joy, sorrow and pain is that is yours is mine. I promise to love you unconditionally, truthfully and faithfully for the rest of my days and lifetimes. I promise to love you even when it is not easy. May God and you, my angel, my heart, my soul bear witness to this promise...'' He said reminding her of that night before their wedding day

He knew something that day that she didn't think he knew. That night was her way to telling him, showing him that she was given in completely to what they had. True it didn't start out that way but she had fallen in love with him and that night, those vows, they meant so much more than she led on and she lived by them. He was just embarrassed in himself that he didn't see that then

'Raman, please...'' Ishita began teary and Raman his voice breaking said

'You promised me, please do not break it now... I just want to know... Why are you doing this...? Why do you want to just let everything perish...'' He pleaded

'Because I do not love you...'' Said Ishita as tears streamed down her face

'See I do not believe that... I just want to know why you somehow thing that your leaving me is going to be what is best for everyone...'' Said Raman and Ishita slumped down sitting on the floor as she cried

'Please tell me...'' He pleaded his voice breaking

'Because...'' She whispered as she cried

'Why...'' He asked again

If someone who knew them well had been watching them from a far one could never believe the demeanor they were both in. Both of them after their marriages ended built concrete walls up making sure no one ever saw them and their weak sides. They both threw whatever they had into their work until they broke. Raman couldn't take it anymore and he began looking for her while Ishita, she did everything in her power to ensure none of them knew where she was.

But as of that moment, Ishita was broken; she heard Raman's voice break and she felt a part of her die inside. He was right, it wasn't fair and he should have hated her instead of trying to find ways to justify her actions. She didn't deserve it. Ishita had a lot of guilt and shame she had been carrying around much more than she led on.

Raman was no different either, he had his own guilt demons to battle and he knew he had a lot to make up for where Ishita was concerned. The problem with them is that they never talked to each other and always feared what the other would think or feel if they expressed their disappointments or their misgivings about the other. It was one of the things that led to their marriage falling apart. Something Raman wanted to change since the day he got his memory back.

He knew if she and he were ever going to work or get back together, communication was going to be Key and if they were every going to survive, secrets were one thing they had to eliminate.

'Why Ishita...'' He asked again as he joined her sitting next to her on the floor

'Because Raman I do not have the heart to hurt you anymore. I die inside every day because I break a piece of you and I know it. I have been doing that since the day I walked into your life and I can't do that anymore. You and I can't work together... I can't...'' Said Ishita in one breath to a very shocked Raman who at this point had tears welling up as well

*****************************************************************

scroll down chapter seventy nine

CHAPTER SEVENTY NINE

'Because Raman I do not have the heart to hurt you anymore. I die inside every day because I break a piece of you and I know it. I have been doing that since the day I walked into your life and I can't do that anymore. You and I can't work together... I can't...'' Said Ishita in one breath to a very shocked Raman who at this point had tears welling up as well

'Oh My God...'' He said

Raman always knew that she had this guilt but not once did he think it was this bad. She had no idea what she brought into his life, hell she had no idea how happy she made him. She had no idea what he saw and he only wished he would tell her in that moment that he knew exactly what he was doing when he asked her to marry him, and there was no mistake there. He needed her more than she knew and he loved her more than she could imagine but he couldn't quite tell her all

'Oh God Ishita if only you could see yourself through my eyes...'' He said

'And I wish you knew what I knew, your view would be different. You would hate me...'' She said standing up as she looked for the Champaign bottle but he pulled her in again

'Okay... Let us talk honestly... and I need you at least sober enough to understand this...'' He said sitting her down again

Raman had learnt something about the Ishita that walked back in his life. When it came to him and her, or even just talking about him and her, she always walked away in a bid to avoid any confrontation. As he sat her down in that room, he was beginning to understand why, He was her weakness... She couldn't hold her tongue so long if she was with him alone

'It is true when I found out you left, I was hurt, I was humiliated and angry that I thought how, could she do this to me. I wanted to hurt you as much as you had hurt me and I was raging mad with revenge...'' He said and Ishita turned looking at him not believing they were talking about this

'I knew about you and Abhimanyu before you and I got married...'' He said grabbing Ishitas attention because she was shocked

'Shagun gave me his number and said this man is the man Ishita had been in love with for the last 4 years... Talk to him you will know I am not lying... I was scared, I mean here we were talking about getting married in 2 days and then there was this...'' Said Raman

'WH ... I don't understand...'' Said Ishita

'I wanted to call you out on it and ask you why you were doing it. If what Shagun was saying was true. But I also knew I loved and didn't want to lose you. I wanted to fight for you, hope that one day maybe you would love me as Shagun said you loved him. I didn't know who he was, I just knew how he looked like because when I saw him once, the night before of our engagement...'' Said Raman tear welling up again

'I asked him to come, the day we got married, I called him and asked him to come met you. I told him if he could convince you to marry him, I would walk away. He showed up at our engagement and I knew it was him given the look on her face. It seemed like you had just seen a ghost. You two talked or a few second then he took you away...'' He added

Ishita was listening to a whole new story all together. Not once has Abhimanyu ever told her he met Raman that day. She absolutely had no idea that Raman even knew who he was even before they finally said I do

'I walked back home, I was scared because I had this feeling that in the morning I was going to wake up and have to explain to my parents that I had to call off the wedding. But then ... You... You ...'' He said as tears streamed down his face and his voice breaking he added

'You showed up at my house... In my room and took me to this temple and said the most amazing beautiful vows to me. I knew it... When I heard you say them I knew I had won. You had finally managed to love me... Without any regrets I knew you had given yourself to me honestly... I maybe should have told you I knew but I figured it was not even worth it...''

'Oh My God...'' Said Ishita getting up as she wiped tears that were streaming down her face and she walked away from where Raman was. For some reason it became too much to hear from him, she was embarrassed about it.

'I thought that was going to be the last time I ever see him but I was wrong. He showed up again. He was holding my wife's hand and being too familiar with her while they walked into a hotel room ...'' Said Raman

'Stop talking...'' Said Ishita fidgeting

'I know I should have trusted you... I know that now but would you have if you were in my place... I wanted to give you a benefit of a doubt but then he showed up in my house... I looked at him and I knew it was Abhimanyu... He was the man you left for me...And all the faith I should have had in you just...'' Said Raman tears streaming down his face

Ishita thought about all this and for the first time made a realization that maybe she was the one who put them in the predicament they were in...

'He was standing in that living room telling me he was in love with my wife and he had come for her. I didn't know he was a twin then so it hurt... I felt like my I would drown in my own pain, my ego was bruised but mostly my heart was broken...With everything you did in that time and before, I felt you had managed to turn my love into something meaningless...'' He said as tears began streaming down his eyes

'I didn't know... I wasn't ...'' She said crying

'I am not a treacherous person Ishita but you... you had managed to turn my love and twisted it into something so awful and meaningless that I felt if I try to love you again, it might just kill me... And I wanted you to feel my pain; I wanted you to feel my agony so... so I asked Shagun to marry me. The one person you hated in this world, I asked her to marry me. I tell myself I was drunk and I indeed was...'' He said

'Wait... What...'' Said Ishita shocked

She always thought maybe his father had forced him and maybe because as he had told her, Raman had made Shagun pregnant out of love and so wanted to marry her. No one told her this was a drunken proposal

'I was drunk when I asked but I had the power to shut it down before it got out of hand but I wanted you to know such that you were as miserable as I was... But then I realized that no matter how hard I tried, it was not going to make any difference that is why I never divorced you... It was my only guarantee that you would come back and my insurance ...'' He said much to Ishita's surprise because that is not what she was told but now that she thought about it, Mr. Bhalla had the ability to do anything to get what he wanted

'He said Shagun... I was... They told me Shagun was... No... Your father told me Shagun was having your baby and you were elated because she was going to give you something I couldn't... That is why you got engaged...'' Said Ishita tears streaming

'I do not know why he did that but that is not what happened... Shagun and I never had any such kind of relationship... I may or may have slept with her once but I was drunk and hurting and I am so, so, so, sorry for that but no such thing as a baby ever happened... Ishita I swear... She and I do not share any relationship like that... She was here for me, like you and Shlok are that was all. I always thoughts he meant well, I didn't know...'' Said Raman pleading as he walked forward taking her hand in his

'No... No... Raman, please... You can't be telling me this now...I can't lose focus...'' She pleaded as she cried

'I can't imagine a lifetime where you were not in my life Ishita circumstances or not. The time we spent apart was supposed to make us weak and break us but it didn't. It broke me knowing I didn't know how you were and I know now, I understand how much it meant when you were here and I can't take it any longer, I just want you back... Just forget everything and come back to me...'' He begged

'No... No ... I can't do that...'' She said struggling to take back her hand

'Why not... These reasons you keep on giving don't make sense to me...'' Said Raman frustrated

'Raman... You and I ...'' Said Ishita shaking her head

'What is it...'' Said Raman

'You loved me...I know that... There has never been anyone who loved me so selflessly like you did and I was lucky I know that. But as much as you loved me, you also loved your family just as much and I loved that about you... I loved the fact that you cared about everyone else first before yourself... I loved the fact that you them and put them first... It was one of the things why I fell in love with you... But as time went on I realized... You loving me, it was never going to be reason to ever put me first in anything... Especially when it came choosing between me and your father or your work... or your brother...'' Said Ishita finally realizing keep in all this in wasn't helping anyone and she needed to let it out. She had been harboring a lot inside and she was exhausted

'Ishu...'' He said surprised that she felt that way

'I mean I knew it when I married you, in fact I do not even know why it surprised me. I was always competing with something for you attention. If it wasn't your work, it was your father and his rules, if it wasn't your mother and her smothering then it was your brother and his vices... I wanted to make us work so much that maybe along the way I forgot about what was important...'' Said Ishita turning around and finally look at Raman

Raman could see this was different, this was her opening up and genuinely talking, something they had never really done. With tears streaming down her face, she continued

'Then I got pregnant and I said yes... Maybe this will change him... It is so selfish I know but I couldn't help how I felt. In fact things even changed with your father and I wasn't the somewhat useless daughter in law he thought I was... It was like a baby was going to fix it all... It was so stupid to think like that and I should have known... I mean I am smarter than most so I should have known...'' Said Ishita crying as she remembered

'Then on this very perfect day, the doctor tells me, my baby is dead... My baby was already dead... I couldn't think straight... I was scared... I was worried... I knew there was a chance your family was going to blame me for it... But in all this I never expected that you would...' She added looking at Raman her eyes blood shot red from all the crying

'I never blamed you...'' He said his heart breaking with each word she said

'Maybe you didn't but it didn't feel that way... I needed you to be there for me; for once I needed you to put me first... You know what you did... You left... Raman you left...'' Said Ishita crying

'I had to...'' He said tears welling but she interrupted

'Had to work I know... You said the same thing the day you left... You forget Raman we hadn't lost a toy or a car or a set of keys that could just be brushed off as something minor. This was a child... Our child ...'' Said Ishita getting more and more upset

'I tried to be there for you but you pushed me away...'' Said Raman

'Because I never wanted to be a burden to you... My mourning the loss of my child should have never been on you and so I didn't. I did what a good dutiful Bhalla housewife should have done. I showed up at the hospital made the appointment, put everything in order and waited for you to show up and you never did... I waited for hours and you never showed...'' She said as she wiped the tears that were streaming own her dace

'I am sorry it is not how you think...'' Said Raman but Ishita had already made up her mind

'You didn't show... I figured it wasn't as important as the great Bhalla Companies... Or important enough to be put in your schedule so I found someone who I could depend on and he sat with me until I wasn't so scared anymore...'' Said Ishita

'Don't do that... I cared about my child... You make it seem like you were the only one who lost a child here... So did I, Ishita...'' Said Raman

'Yes you did... I know you did... But it didn't feel like you even cared... You know the first thing you did when we got home, parked your bags and went to Goa... You left and went to Goa... Then when you should have come back, you postponed and stayed for a week extra just so you stayed away from...'' Said Ishita

'Ishu... You were not even eating... Every time you saw me you cried... I figured if I stayed away them maybe you would cope better...'' Said Raman realizing he may have messed up badly

'And I indeed did cope... I got a job... And that somehow warranted your father to start spying on me...' She said

'Ishita all this is not on me...'' Said Raman

'I know... But don't act like some of it wasn't... You left and when you came back and brought back Shagun...'' Said Ishita crying

'So is this what this was all about all along... Because I brought Shagun to help ...'' Said Raman

'Actually no... That was not as painful as me, justifying myself two months after you and I slept together that the pregnancy I had was yours and not Abhimanyu's. I had to defend myself... It was Shagun's word against mine and you know what you chose... Her... You chose her Raman...'' Said Ishita as she broke down completely

Raman watched her break down this had to be the first time he had really seen her grief. She was hurting and it was evident she had been hurting for so long. It broke his heart to hear her talk like that, to think he made trivial of what they had, what they went through but he also understood that she needed to say whatever she was feeling. It was the first step to healing, knowing what the problem was...

He wanted to hold her and tell her how sorry he was and how he regretted it all but he held off for a while and just allowed her to cry. Ishita cried for sometimes wishing she could just run and leave that place and not come back. That room, that room brought back way too much and it hurt to relieve it all.

'I am so sorry for making you feel that way... I genuinely thought when I brought Shagun here that I was trying to help you. Then you began disappearing and the secret calls and the late nights, jealousy got the best of me so I gave her more leeway than I should have...'' He said after he saw her calm down

'I know you are sorry Raman... You told me that already'' She said as she wiped her tears

'I need to say it again until you hear me ... I am sorry... I know now that you are the most important thing to me and I didn't know then, and I am ashamed of that... Always have been since you left...'' Said Raman feeling like he wanted to die

Ishita looked at him and she could tell that came from a very honest place. He too had a lot of pain probably most of which he shouldn't have been carrying and it wasn't fair that she just laid it all on him like that. He didn't deserve that guilt

'I am sorry...'' She finally said

'What for...'' He asked

'Everything... The Abhimanyu Issue, me blaming you for Aryan, Shagun and her drama, me coming back, hell me even walking into your life, I apologize for that...'' She said

Don't do that...'' Said Raman who was slightly angry

'Do what...'' She asked

Apologize for coming into my life... Don't do that... That is the only thing you did that was amazing for me and you coming back here, after everything thing, regardless of the circumstances, it was selfless of you to do so...'' Said Raman as he sat down on the bed and Ishita joined him

'Now what...'' She said

'I don't know...'' He said before turning to her and asking

'You said something to me on the roof. I do not know if you remember... You said you were about to be engaged... Was it true...'' And Ishita just nodded her head in affirmation

'Is it Abhi...'' He asked disheartened

'Yeah...'' She replied and she could see she had hurt him

'I am sorry...'' She said

'No...No... Do not apologize... You are not married yet...'' He said smiling at her

'Meaning...'' She asked as she wiped her tears that had streamed down her cheek

'Meaning... May the best man win ... Until he walks you down that aisle ... I am fighting for you...'' He said

'Raman... Seriously ' Said Ishita as she tried to get up but he pulled her down again

'Okay... Okay... Fine... ' He said

'You just don't give up...'' Said Ishita

'And I won't... One because I know you still love me and two, because I know there is a whole other story to this Abhimanyu business... I don't believe you... I think you are still doing or working or investigating whatever... You are still trying to do something and whatever it is you are doing I will wait... And until you are done, I am not going anywhere... I swear I am not watching someone take you away from me again Ishita I won't...'' He said but Ishita just looked at him being at a loss of words

There was no way any one person can love another, this much, it wasn't possible to love her the way he did

'I want to help you and be there for you... I just wish you would let me... May be I can even be of assistance in whatever you want to do'' He added

'No you can't plus your family ...'' She started but he wasn't having it

'You married me not them. It was me you fell in love with, not them so it is me you should worry about, not them...'' Said Raman

She really didn't want to talk about this and especially not in this state because she was very vulnerable and also didn't quite have control over what she was saying. How was she going to explain to him that whatever she was doing could mean his father going to jail for a significant amount of time or that the plan for all this is that when she was done, chances were high she was going and he may never see her again. That is way she wanted this divorce. Everything was dependent on the fact that she convince not only them but a few other people and that she and him had no future... At least until all this was done

'Why is it easy to forgive Mihir for whatever he did but not me? You took him back in and even helped him, why not me. I know I made a mistake but even I deserve a second chance, after everything we have survived together even I deserve it...'' He said much to Ishita's surprise that he even thought that way

******************************************************************

scroll down chapter eighty