I am very upset

Not sure, if i should say it here, but i am very upset today.

My husband is being very unreasonable and making me really angry and sad.

He is trying to control what I cook. He does not like something ( but i love it) and he says I should not cook it again, becasue then he will not eat food that day.

I asked him, i can cook his favorite dish and mine on different occassions, but he asked ," even though u know, i won't eat it, would u still make it", then it is your choice.

I am very mad at him.I don't know who to talk to. This is the only forum that i visit the most. So ., right now i am very emotional and wrote it.

Sorry to bother u all, but I had to get it out.

Thanks for listening.

aww that's sad
i would just b like r u the only one with likes and dislikes, can i not make what i want with u not being so picky and uncooperative, but then im not married so no experience 😆

nidhi,don't be sad.It happens with everyone.husband and wife's choice can't be the same all the time.It differs.

Try making his favourite dishes,please him and tell him politely that he should also be understanding and co-operative when U cook a dish of your choice.Try telling him.some hubbies can be picky abt food.My son is very picky abt food. 😊

Thanks Chitra, I wish it was that simple.
all I make is , his favorite dishes all the time even though I don;t like those.
But I don't have the liberty to do that when it is my favorite dish. He does not even try to taste it.

But really, thanks for replying.
Thx alydesi_chick
I hope u get a more understanding person in your life.

Originally posted by: 7387_nidhi

Not sure, if i should say it here, but i am very upset today.

My husband is being very unreasonable and making me really angry and sad.

He is trying to control what I cook. He does not like something ( but i love it) and he says I should not cook it again, becasue then he will not eat food that day.

I asked him, i can cook his favorite dish and mine on different occassions, but he asked ," even though u know, i won't eat it, would u still make it", then it is your choice.

I am very mad at him.I don't know who to talk to. This is the only forum that i visit the most. So ., right now i am very emotional and wrote it.

Sorry to bother u all, but I had to get it out.

Thanks for listening.

Nidhi, surprising as it may sound, this is terribly normal.

Your husband is not different at all. He simply refuses to eat what he does not like, and men can be pretty obstinate when it comes to food. They also like their wives to love what they do, without returning the favour - be it food, or a television channel.

My husband has actually left the table without eating quite a few times because whatever was on the plate was not to his liking. I remember, right in the beginning of my marriage, I was pregnant, and I cooked aloo dum which he used to hate ( he does not any more - surprise surprise! 😆 ) and he came back at 10pm from office, and when he saw aloo dum, he actually screamed at me.....😭 . Being new, I was upset,cried, felt bad etc etc and even cooked something else for him. 8 years later, in similar situations, I coolly ask him to get up and throw whatever is bothering him in the plate in the dustbin and cook for himself....😆. But that is a separate issue.

My suggestion would be to make whatever you like separately and eat when he is not around. One more thing you can try. Make his fav dish, and make yours too. Serve him his dish, and you eat yours, and do not even taste what you cooked for him and don't ask him to try out yours. If he wants you taste his, simply tell him you don't like it and won't eat it, and please respect it. He might, or might not leave the table, but he will know you do have a mind of your own. Which, is , extremely important. Also, try cooking what you both like more than simply cooking what he likes all the time. It will be easier, and he will start understanding. These things are way better than to simply cry, be upset, or confrontations.

From your post, it sounds you are newly wed. I know right now, it would not seem so, but trust me, with years, things will improve.

All the best.

Surprise, Minnie, It is 12 years and still going on.

But yes, what you are saying does make sense.
Thanks for yoru suggestions. Making me feel better.

Originally posted by: 7387_nidhi

Surprise, Minnie, It is 12 years and still going on.

But yes, what you are saying does make sense.
Thanks for yoru suggestions. Making me feel better.

Oh it has been 12 yrs since U got married okk.don't worry,aaj husbands ki yahan dhulayee hogi.We can pour out our hearts.😆 😆

Minnie,good to see you here.My husband's bad habits are still the same.It has been 17 yrs 😭 😆

nidhi and minnie,pls join our party thread.U will forget all your dukh. 😃 There are some lovely members here,many of them married.SO,I am sure,U will enjoy the party as much as we do.come and join us. 😃

dear Nidhi we all go thru same things and you all are right about men. My house situation was worst. You guys are lucky your hubi's got up from the table when they don't like food. Mine will scream and throw plates on the floor and left home in anger without eating and poor me crying and thinking he will be hungry. But One day after so many plates broken and food thrown on the floor i thought I have had it with his attitude. and decided to do something about it.

It was saturday lunch time and I made a lunch and again he was mad saying there was too much salt in the food and i don;t know how to cook and threw the plate on the floor. I told him to pick up the broken plate and clean up or I will walk on it. He ignored me and started walking away and me walking behind him bare foot.

I walked on small pieces of the plate and started bleeding . My husband was about to faint as he cannot see blood and especially mine. Not only he carried me to bed and clean up wounds and put bandages and cleaned up. But from that day on it is like close to 26 years now he has never ever said anything bad about my cooking. and yes he has praised my cooking so many times. Regardless of how bad a food is he will eat it so i want feel bad. Infact today my best freinds mom died and I was with her whole day and when i got home it was kind of late and while I was cooking i got so many phone calls and burned vegetable and had no time to make another so he ate that one without any fuss.

I also try to make sure to make something else when i make my fav, dish. Like he hates masala dosa so i make idli sambhar for him. Also he hates pototoes and I love them. So whenever I make potatoes for me I make other vegetable for him. that way we both are happy.

Nidhi life is full of compromises and unfortunately we women have to compromise more.

any time you feel like you are angry you can come and talk to us. That is why we have SP buzz where you can post what is bothering you.