Posted:
Here are my thoughts on the confrontation scene. Disclaimer: they may not be coherent as I'm just writing down whatever comes to mind.
It was obvious that Sanskaar was egging her on to break her silence today and literally backing her into a corner (or wardrobe) in order to get her to let out whatever pent-up emotion she had. I think he had a pretty good idea of what was going on in her mind and why she had been so silent, but he wanted to hear it from her. He likes to provoke, that's his nature and with such an important matter he wasn't going to let it go so easily. I loved that! He probably expected her to stay angry for a while and question his motives but I think the part about breaking the friendship took him by surprise. His easy agreement to this took her by surprise instead, but we all know that he wants to spare her further misery and if it means Swara having her way in at least one aspect of her life right now, so be it. I loved how he didn't let the pain and heartbroken expression on his face last too long and switched back to his more 'practical', focused self soon after to agree with her.
I noticed one thing, though. When she mentioned going their separate ways she broke eye contact...Why? Firstly, love or not, she knew she was hurting him as a friend, which goes against her nature, but she wanted to protect herself at that moment and put up the walls around her. (I think if they had been just friends, Swara being Swara would still have felt bad about breaking off their friendship). Secondly, she knew that she was being unreasonable and didn't want to talk about it. She kept cutting him off and prevented him from engaging in a lengthy discussion about his or her feelings. Unlike with Laksh, these two always talk about things, no matter how big or small. She knew if she let him continue, he would draw her into a deeper conversation and venture into uncharted territory (as if she hasn't done enough of that lately!). Thirdly, her subconscious mind was wreaking havoc - I think at this point she genuinely believes that he's just a friend and that there can never be anything between them. She hasn't had a chance to listen to her heart during its resting state. But something deep down made her uncomfortable which we viewers know as her growing attachment to him but which she couldn't put her finger on at that point.
I expected her to say something like "We've talked about it now, don't bring it up again and let's focus on the mission". I never expected her to say she considered the friendship over. I don't think she's convinced either, because she was surprised that Sanskaar so easily agreed to let her have her way. I think he knows exactly how she's feeling and is not surprised by her reasoning. Her happiness and peace of mind is most important and he will put her needs first. He still has the lingering guilt and will never hold her actions against her.
Sanskaar's maturity and loss of first love had made him cautious too about not saying anything (he wouldn't have done it had he not been inebriated). He repeated this to her, that he didn't want to say anything about his feelings. I also found it interesting how Swara snapped at him right after this and said "Why did you say it then?" And here is the crux of the matter. I think she knew deep down that he had feelings for her but as long as it was never mentioned she was fine. She was angry because he expressed it rather than leaving it unspoken. She doesn't want another friendship to love to betrayal fiasco, perhaps? She is human after all, and trying to do the right thing can take its toll. :)
Swara has been genuinely afraid of losing the one true friend she found for a while now, not just yesterday, because she does highly value this friendship with Sanskaar. From what we've seen in the show she didn't have too many friends and was super excited to have Ragini as a sister and confidante, followed by Laksh. Then she lost both and the support of her father too.
I don't think she feels up to sharing too much with her mother or showing her the depth of her pain because she wants to spare her mother further suffering. Hence she turned to Sanskaar for everything. But now, with this new 'problem' presented by his confession, who does she turn to? She surely can't go to him to talk it through, can she? (We viewers would nod and say why not? He is the one she should talk to about it, but understandably Swara doesn't feel that way.) She wanted one area in her life which is stable and confusion-free, but even that is no longer the case.
She has been hurting because of all the things that happened recently but hasn't had time to 'grieve' yet because she's had to pick herself up and go ahead with her mission. No one, not even Sharmishta, has really seen Swara at her lowest points except Sanskaar. With Sanskaar, she didn't ever hold back her thoughts or emotions. He knows everything about her, and has seen nearly every dimension of her, which means she feels more exposed to him than to anyone else. After the change in dynamics, she will never be at ease and that's why she blamed him for taking that friendship away from her.
Falling in love, and more than that, having a relationship would take a lot of her that she just can't think of giving, not just to Sanskaar but anyone at this point. I don't think she even considers in her head that Sanskaar is 'husband' or 'partner' material. She hasn't processed things to that extent, but her subconscious has always known he was attracted to her. She caught him staring on several occasions but ignored them earlier. He was about to kill Ragini for her sake! Now she can piece those moments together and deep down she isn't too surprised by his confession.
Laksh and she may have been in love, but I never saw the kind of passion in Laksh that I see in Sanskaar. (Yes, some of us here feel that it was just an infatuation, but as far as Swara is concerned that feeling was love.) Sanskaar's confession and protective behavior before that showed her how deep and strong his emotions are and that is way too much for her to handle right now. I guess it's a question of right sentiments but wrong time and place for Swara.
Going back to my earlier post https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/swaragini/4474676/is-swara-really-angry-with-sanskaar "Is Swara really angry with Sanskar?", I think the confrontation scene reaffirmed what I had said there. I think she also feels a bit burnt out with this emotion of love, in whatever format. I'm sure the way Shekhar treated her in front of everyone after Ragini's accusation of Sanskaar was also quite painful for her to take, even though she never mentioned it. Which father shoves his daughter aside so mercilessly, no matter how angry he is???? I was also right that Ragini and Laksh now have even more ammo against them regarding Sanskaar's feelings. đĄ
What made me love Sanskaar more during this episode was his defiant "Don't expect me to say sorry for loving you, I will never be", etc.. So true to his nature! He may have started to do good things but is not afraid to get his hands dirty if it means helping his loved ones out. As I said earlier, a REAL MAN, mard ka baccha. Not to mention how Sanskaar stopped Ragini from trying to use his emotions to play dirty mind games with Swara. She is lecturing Swara on 'just choosing Sanskaar' as if it were that easy - why doesn't she make it work with Laksh, then? đĄ
I agree with those of you who feel she is afraid of letting herself fall in love and be betrayed again; she doesn't want to start something now. Above all, the poor girl just has way too much going on at the moment. Her heart is overwhelmed by other matters right now and also as a woman she is indignant that her sister could stoop so low with accusations. Aside from proving Sanskaar innocent she has been very hurt that her sister, as a woman, would do such a thing.
One thought occured to me: Is Swara maybe trying to preempt a second Sanskaar heartbreak by being tough and letting him know early on that there's no chance and that there never will be? That splitting up after the mission ends will mean he won't have to see her day in day out and be tormented by his unrequited love, much as she thinks Ragini and Laksh are going through right now? Sanskaar proved his mettle and loyalty as a companion before expressing his feelings, whereas Laksh expressed his feelings and then 'betrayed' her trust. She still feels she owes Sanskaar that loyalty and doesn't want him to come to any harm. I don't want to talk about how her heart feels about Sanskaar minus all the mess in her life at present as that's something we can speculate forever - I'd prefer to wait until the story reaches that point. But I will say that she still managed to silence Sanskaar with a nod when he raged at Ragini - you can decide to part ways but the understanding and bond of friendship that has been developed cannot be turned off with a flick of a switch.
On a lighter note, maybe she is tormented by the thought of ending up in the MM forever if she marries Sanskaar ;)
Anyway, I've rambled long enough. Looking forward to next week's episodes. I do hope they show a few awkward bedroom scenes between them and mirror their first night in MM after the fake marriage but with completely different reasons for tension and heightened awareness of each other.
Udne Ki Aasha
