The Fault in Our Stars

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Anuhyaa

@Anuhyaa

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Posted: 10 years ago

Hey

The title is inspired from John Green's work...(I am not very original with titles, so please excuse me)

We expected so much from Ishita's pregnancy and since the Cvs are busy hopping from one hollywood movie to another, not really caring for our emotions ..This OS is my small attempt to get over the disappointment.

If I botched up the medical facts, please blame google... & If I have no clue of Ishita's diagnosis or treatment please blame Cvs...😛

& a Big Thank You to all the wonderful writers of the forum, who unlike our cvs still inspire me to write and sometimes make me connect with Ishra more than the Cvs could and for whom in the first place I created this ID to just like their work...😳

As always do leave your feedback.

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Anuhyaa

@Anuhyaa

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Posted: 10 years ago

She opened her eyes slowly as if her subconscious is warning her not to. Not to face the reality.But she is no coward,and when she opened her eyes wide she realized she was in the hospital. Precisely on bed with IV's attached to her hand.She didn't even feel the prick of it.She was numb.It's like if she starts having clear thoughts again, she may fall apart.

Just then a nurse came inside to check on her.

"Mrs.Bhalla , you are awake!! I know it all looks a little disoriented but please don't stress yourself."

With that the nurse began noting down on the charts and arranging the IVs.

She willed herself to remember what happened.She knew what happened,she just have to bring that to the forefront. How can she sleep when her whole world has collapsed. A tear drop streamed down her cheek and she hurriedly wiped it away not wanting the nurse to see her that way.

Now having her full conscious back she welcomed the realization and the pain that accompanied it.

She was at her clinic,checking the patient reports, doing the usual. But then the lower back which has been throbbing from the morning intensified, followed by a severe pain in the abdomen.She didn't know what was happening to her, all she could manage was to press the bell for the receptionist and blanked out.

The staff must have rushed her to the hospital.And here she was in the hospital bed after miscarriage and she didn't even know she was pregnant.
How pathetic is that.

Ever since they decided to have the baby everything that happened was a roller-coaster. Dr.Manoj has given them a few months to see for natural pregnancy and those were the best months of her life. As it is Raman was after her coaxing her citing his absentice and all the mundane excuses as to why they should do it, as if she needs convincing and then he had an additional excuse of doctor's orders.

But luck didn't favor them.They had to go for treatment. The family was all with them. Cheering her, looking out and just being there.
But soon they faced the reality. It's all one test after another with nothing really happening.

She felt chocked & pressurized by all the family attention.She felt like she was disappointing them all week after week with no major progress.Deep down she knew that they were all only trying to help and she valued their support but sometimes she wished that she should have kept it from them.She was tired of people hovering over her for a miracle.

The nurse's words pulled her out of her reverie.

"Your husband is with the doctor and he will be here shortly."

And before she could say an other word the nurse moved out of the room.

As if on cue, Raman opened the door and before he could reach the bed, Ishita pretended to be asleep closing her eyes tight and making her body stiff.Raman walked up to her and peered down the bed. He immediately realized that she was pretending to be asleep, but he didn't know what to say to make her feel better.He was really glad that she didn't want to speak right now. He retraced his steps back to the door and left the room.

She exhaled the breath she was holding as soon as he was out of the door. She didn't really know what to say to him just yet. What will she tell him. She lost their baby.Thinking that loud brought the suppressed tears with a vengeance.

Raman's teasing words from before came back to haunt her,
" I want our baby to be conceived today, you rocked my world and I want to remember that" he teased her with a wink.

She lay there sobbing silently into the pillow not knowing how to make it all right again.

Raman was lost similarly on the other side of the door. He sat outside her room just looking out.

He was in a meeting when he got the emergency call. He rushed into the hospital and Dr.Manoj informed him that she lost the baby.

"What? Ishita is pregnant?" He asked with hope lit on his face not yet registering the loss.

"Iam sorry Mr.Bhalla, She was. Barely two weeks but she lost the baby today.And before you draw any conclusions, it is a very normal thing. Infact this is the most common type of miscarriage that happens in woman.
Early miscarriages usually happen because the embryo is not developing as it should. To develop properly, a baby needs the right number of normal chromosomes.
In the case of chromosome abnormalities, the pregnancy will come to an end at the embryo stage.
These problems usually happen for no reason and are unlikely to happen again." Dr.Manoj answered.

And seeing that Raman is not totally convinced with his words Dr.Manoj continued.
" I know how much this baby means to you. This is a one off thing that can happen to any woman. Please stay positive Mr.Bhalla."

Raman nodded at left the doctor's room not ready to discuss further.

& Here he was sitting outside her room, unable to face her.He was the one who ignited the dream in her and now they lost their baby.The dream once again slipped out of their hands and a life remained unborn. He balled his fist with all the force he could muster and hit it hard on the bench.

He saw Amma coming towards Ishita's room.When Amma saw him she panicked and asked "Where is Ishu and why are you sitting here alone."

"She is inside, sleeping." He said avoiding her eyes.

Amma nodded and informed him that she will sit with Ishita and asked him to take a walk.He nodded and left for a walk.

Amma entered the room and what she saw broke her heart. Ishu was bawling all alone in the room. Amma came to her, patted her head gently. On seeing Amma Ishita's grief intensified.
"It's ok kanna... It's ok" Amma tried comforting her.

Ishita lay there drained after the weeping session lost in her thoughts.

"Why is Raman outside alone" Amma asked.
"No, Amma...I can't face him..yet"

"What is there to face Ishu...He needs to be with you...He is worried about you...It's his baby too or did you forget that..." Amma asked.

"No, I didn't forget"

"You both need to talk. I will go and send him" With that she kissed her head and left the room.

She wiped her tears and pulled herself together and lay there staring at the ceiling. Raman walked into the room and stood near her bed. For a few mins neither of them spoke, each with their own thoughts.

He finally called out "Ishita" and waited for her to look into his eyes.

"Iam sorry" His voice trembled.

Tears pooled into her eyes and unable to stop herself she crashed into his chest with all the IVs & all and began to weep. He pulled her into him,held her close and cried with her.

"No, Iam sorry Raman. It must be my fault. I swear I was being very careful. I don't know how it happened...I just don't know...I feel so helpless..."

He pulled back abruptly and shook her. "Ishita, listen to me...This is not your fault. Dr.Manoj spoke to me and informed me that it's pretty normal for these type of miscarriages to happen. If it is anyone's fault it should be mine...I pushed you into this."

Ishita shook her head not able to speak immediately.

And finally she spoke."You gave me such a wonderful gift. At first I know I was not inclined to this but that was just my fear talking...I was afraid to be a failure again...It is you who pushed me out of that..And the idea of wanting a baby grew on me...It became my dream...I don't need another baby but I wanted it..."

"You know what Raman, the sad part in all this...I had our baby for a week inside me and I didn't know ..." With tears blocking her eyes she placed her hand on her stomach.

He wiped her tears,kissed her forehead and rocked her like a baby.
"May be it's just not our day.."

Edited by Anuhyaa - 10 years ago

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Pasoori

@ChanChanMan

Rocker

+ 6

Posted: 10 years ago

Sigh
🤢
So beautiful

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Maya

@mayasun

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

Very nice but very sad

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SAPNA

@ruhi_ishra

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

Emotional update
brilliantly written
You have described their pain beautifully

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Priyanka

@Pri94

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

Thank you for writing this. It is extremely sad, but extremely beautiful 👏

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ishra123

@ishra123

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

Brilliantly written Emotional update Thanks for pm

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Anju.s

@Anju.s

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

Anoo beautifully written👏...sad but it will be / should not be smooth sailing pregnancy for Ishita. I loved it

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Anuhyaa

@Anuhyaa

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Posted: 10 years ago

#10

Thank You guys for the kind words...

I got the idea of this in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep after that...And had to write it the next day ...
And I didn't even recheck the final draft...I just posted it soon after it made some sense...
So your appreciation really means so much to me... Thank You.