9.1.15 - The Mourning Times: Guru Maa Special Column

Disclaimer: The TSM Times does not vouch for the authenticity of Guru Maa, neither does it validate an views, opinions or advice provided by her. Reader discretion is advised in reading and interpreting Guru Maa's words.

Now for the serious disclaimer: I am a firm believer in God but I believe God resides in each one of us. I do not believe in God men and God women and neither do I follow any of them (other than reading news articles/watching news videos of their hilarious antics in the name of "special powers"). However, I do realize a large number of people believe in such God men and women and worship them too. I do not intend to insult, ridicule or offend any of those people. You are perfectly entitled to have your set of beliefs just as I am entitled to have mine. This is a light-hearted post intended purely for entertainment purposes. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Dear children,

I have been told that a serious calamity has befallen your fandom and that all of you are angry, upset and frustrated by it. Do not be upset my children! Be proud instead. My child, Amaya has given the ultimate sacrifice of love for her family. She had so many other options. She could have used the chloroform on Sumitra and locked her away somewhere till the wedding happened. She could have informed Sneha about the issue and have the elders talk it out. She could have called the cops on Sumitra for demanding dowry and have her arrested. All of those would have been effective solutions to the problems at hand. But children, the makers of the show have set an amazing example for all the viewers to follow. Whenever you get a chance to do sacrifice, do it. You will get a lot of blame, it'll be the stupidest thing you ever do, but in the end, in the land of Indian television, you will emerge the hero. Everyone will hail your stupidity as martyrdom. (TSM Times would like to add a special disclaimer here that they are not responsible in any manner whatsoever for the consequences of practicing this in real life.)

Is this a mockery of marriage you ask? No my dear children. a mockery of marriage would have been if Mantu and Amaya got married. What sacrifice is there in that? Its all about sacrifice. If you marry the person you love and live happily, that is wrong. You should subject yourself and everyone you love to all kinds of emotional atyachar for your life to become fulfilled. That is the path to attain nirvana.

Love someone, don't tell them.

When they tell you that they love you, tell them they are No.2 on your priority list and walk away.

If your sister's would be mother-in-law demands the house be transferred in her name, do not suspect her motives, do not suspect for a minute whether it was really really that important that this marriage happen, especially since said sister does not even want this marriage in the first place. So what if your whole family might end up on the streets tomorrow? Houses, buildings - are all materialistic. Its all an illusion. Nothing is real!

Your Nanaji, who has but a few years left to live anyways, a promise made to him is more important than whether the in laws will torture your sister post-marriage, or whether your sister herself wants this marriage.

Given an option to marry the guy who is madly in love with your sister, jump right in. Jump right into the wedding fire and sacrifice your life for it. Because that is the way to nirvana. Do not, for a minute, consider the absolute ridiculousness of the situation. After all, life is all about committing mistakes and learning from them. Like I said earlier, its all illusion, nothing is real so how does it matter anyways who you marry and who you don't?

So my dear children, all of this is an illusion. Form no attachments to anything or anyone. Attachments bring pain and pain brings anger and frustration. Anger and frustration cause a rise in blood pressure and increased blood pressure causes health problems. Keep your blood pressure under control by repeating, "Yeh sab moh maaya ka jaal hai" instead of "Yeh moh moh ke dhaage teri ungliyon se jaa uljhe."

Now, I need to go take a bath in milk and rose petals and then get my manicure, pedicure and gold facial done so I can glow radiantly in front of my devotees. But I wish all my children all the peace in the world.

As a parting message, do not form any attachments with anything in this materialistic world. To attain true nirvana, sacrifice! Sacrifice everything you have and everything you can. If you are overcome with the urge to sacrifice all your worldly belongings such as cash, property, jewellery, cars, etc. please contact my charitable foundation: 1800-SAB-KUCH-DE-DO.

Blessings for my dear children,

Guru Maa