Another Parud FF - Clear blue skies I(upto Chapter 50) - Page 79

"Have you lost your mind? You know how much relationships mean to me. They bring nothing but trouble. Especially with women! I'm not one of those foolish poets who think that a woman will change my life. How could you even think that I would consider taking another wife? That to for what! Sons?" he fumed. She expected him to be angry but the things he said. They stung. She knew family meant nothing to him when they first met. But now things were supposed to be different. "But Rudra..." she tried to interrupt placing her hand on his cheeks gently. He pushed it away, "No, Paro. I need you to listen. You are the one who wants a family. You want two sons like Bholenath. But I don't want any of that. That was never my plan. That is not the kind of life I imagined for myself. I was perfectly happy being a soldier for my country and I will happy to die that way."

Paro was shocked. What was he trying to say? Did he want to go back to the way things were? Or did he mean he doesn't want children? When he said mein.. tu... hamesha on their wedding day, did he mean it would be just the two of them forever? Was he going to crush her dreams so thoughtlessly? She knew for a man who had a bitter childhood, the thought of siring an offspring would be scary. But didn't he trust her to nurture their babies with the same warmth she tended to everyone else in their household.

He realised she was struggling to understand what he was saying. He guided her to a chair and sat down with her. He took hands in his, "Paro, when I asked Sir for your hand, I promised him that I would fill your life more happiness that you had ever dreamed of.  I stand by that.  You will have that perfect little family that you always wanted. But that is your dream for us. Someday we will have those boys just like you imagined. For me, you are all I ever wanted forever. So I'm living my dream every single day that I spend time with you. Rusheed's expectations from life are not mine."

Paro was more than relieved. She knew by his gestures that she was the centre of Rudra's world. But every once in a while, when she feels low, his words sweeps her off her feet all over again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have compared you to him. But after listening to what happened to Alina jeeja, I couldn't help worry. Rusheed jeejosa loved her a lot in the beginning. Maithili jeeja had a tough time too because she hadn't conceived," she explained her doubts. Rudra pointed out that Samrat still stood by her and loved her just as much before Shanti came into their lives. Paro nodded but he knew she wasn't convinced. "Ranavat had a ton of problems with her still he honoured his vows to her. Even if people told him that I required a mother's affection, he didn't take another wife. He just told them that I needed to learn how fickle a woman's heart is," he laughed. She shook her head. "Don't worry Ranavat trusts you. He knows how much my Paro cares about me and that my heart is safe in her hands," he said kissing her palms. She lovingly caressed his bent head. She hated to be clubbed with Rudra's mother. But if Bapusa sees she is different, that's all that matters.

"Did they tell you anything else that bothered you?" Rudra asked with a stern glance. She weaved her fingers through his and said, "No, they are disheartened but will be fine with time. I want to speak to their families. They should help their daughters get better." He smiled seeing her determined look. "Ma'am already tried to reach out to them. They aren't coming forward to help," he said. Paro shook her head. She was once Tejawat's victim too. She knew how they felt. And she knew that without the support of her family, she would not have made it so far. She was in a better position to tell them all this than her aunt. Rudra nodded. He knew that she had to try. "Ok. Let me know how you decide to tackle this before doing anything," he requested. She nodded in agreement, "I'll tell you and Maasiji before doing anything."

"Now you tell me what is bothering you?" she asked. He looked at her evenly. "Don't deny it Rudra Pratap Ranavat. I'm your wife. I can tell when something is on your mind," she said in a strict tone. He raised his eyebrow in question, "I have been on a long border shift. I'm just tired." She shook her head. He was tired but also troubled. She knew he won't open up unless she pushes. "You didn't have to go. You could have delegated to a junior officer. What is so terrible at home that you had to go to the middle of the desert?" she asked. "I just needed to be alone so that I can think clearly," he admitted. She felt dejected. She hoped he could be alone with her. She wanted to be the shoulder he could unburden himself on. He didn't have to struggle with his doubts alone.

"I have to testify against Tejawat today," he said softly. She recoiled instantly. Her last encounter with the man was the moment everything changed. His true nature was terrifying. She never wanted to see him again. "Should I..." she started. He shook his head, "Singh Sir, Aman and I have discussed it and decided that your testimony is unnecessary." She didn't follow. Wasn't she the one to whom Thakursa confessed? Wasn't it after her press conference that the case was proved against him? "The defence lawyers will claim that you were suffering from Stockholm syndrome. Your words won't hold weight," he said. She looked confused, so he took time to explain.

"Then my witness account counts for nothing. Rudra, my Mamisa was killed for because I spoke up against Thakursa. I was under house arrest because all you thought, he wanted to shut me up for good," Paro raised her voice remembering her past. "Tejawat will always hunt you for vengeance. If your baraat had crossed the border, if I had been late, he would be planning to pack off another set of weapons with another innocent bride right now. He will come after you as long as he lives," he said with ruthlessness lacing his voice. He felt her skin turn cold. He knelt in front of her, "He won't get what he wants. I won't..., we won't let him. We have plenty of other evidence against him. Aman is working with the best lawyers. Sir even told me that the government of both countries are on our side. We even have Tejawat's confession. I just don't want you to relive through the most awful part of your life and have strangers pick you apart in that courtroom," he told her calmly.

"What do you have to say in court?" she asked hoping he could stay away too. She wanted this to be over once and for all. "Everything," he replied. She tried hard to not to cry. She desperately wanted this part of their life to be over. "Paro I can keep you away from this, for your peace of mind. But I have to finish this for the sake of my soldiers' sacrifice," he confessed. She remembered how he had broken down once before remembering the men who died in the desert that fateful day. She had to be strong and supportive now. "Can I come with you?" she asked. He looked at her surprised. He knew how she felt about this.   "I understand my words can't help the case as much as I would like it too. But I still want to support you and Aman bhaisa", she said earnestly. It was a closed trial so media won't be there. But still Singh Sir won't approve of letting her come along. He nodded, "But I'll have to be there soon. You can come if you want to." She looked away and mumbled, "I don't want come if you want me to stay away." He gave her a small peck and whispered, "I wish I could carry you in my pocket for luck." She smiled prettily.  

She heard the click of the latch and saw him shut the door. "Paro, Shatabdi isn't here, right?" he asked. His wife shook her head, "Shatabdi is working at the tourist centre today. She and Sumer bhaisa are going out to lunch today." He saw the twinkle in her eye as she thought of the budding romance between his cousin and her friend. He hoped for her sake, Sumer doesn't goof this up. "Good, we are alone then," he said as he took his belt off. He then started to unbutton his shirt as if he was in the privacy of his own quarters. "What are you doing, Rudra?" she stammered.

"Fee se!" Shanti asked back at the haveli and Dilsher played the same record again. Mohammed Rafi's Chun Chun Karti Aayi Chidiya always made her laugh and him smile. That's how Samrat found his daughter. "Shanti, isn't it your lunch time? Where is your Maasa?" he asked standing by his uncle's door. Shanti jumped into his arms within seconds, "Bapu, you early!" Samrat nodded and asked whether she finished her lunch so soon. "Wait for Papo," she replied. "Take her to her mother. I know my Rudradev. He must have gone straight to Paro's office. They will be home late," Dilsher said knowingly.

Samrat suggested that he finish his meal too holding on to his daughter who tried to slip away. "No, I have my records to listen too now and few moments of peace left before my son returns and shouts at me for being careless," Dilsher replied. His nephew wanted to laugh. The only way the father-son duo knew to express affection was by yelling at each other. Thankfully they don't treat Paro in the same way. "Shall I bring your lunch here?" he offered. Dilsher nodded happily.

As he stepped away Shanti screamed, "No, I want Kakosa song. I eat here too." Samrat looked at his uncle in question. "When Rudra was in school, his classmates acted out this song for their annual day," Dilsher explained. Mala who was nearby came to the window when she heard her son's name. "Which animal did he play?" Samrat asked. "He played the monkey being small built. He was very upset at that. He wanted the elephant's role. But I didn't know how to cook so he was undernourished for a couple of years," his uncle explained in a dejected tone. There were a lot of things he regretted about their past. Samrat gave him a small smile, "But then you learnt to take care of him and more importantly taught him to take care of himself. Thausa, I'm sure Rudra knows you did your best." His uncle just shrugged his shoulders, "I fed him dry rotis and burnt potatoes." He pointed out that if Rudra had a problem with them, he would have learnt how to cook better and not be satisfied with the same thing. His wife had told him how he cooked the same dish for Paro once. "Thausa, you raised a good man and great soldier. Don't beat yourself about it. Of course he could have a gentler mouth. But I'm sure if he was raised here, he would picked up the same sarcastic wit from Maasa rather than you," he teased. Dilsher laughed.

Mala stepped away from her hiding with glee on her face. If her son had been raised with such meagre sustenance, he would have a lot to regret on his childhood. Given the option he would choose her over his father. Who would want to spend their time with a bitter old man who was of no use in his youth? He had nothing to offer a young boy except for dry rotis and burnt potatoes. Her son hated potatoes. She remembered that very well. Even the lowest servant in her Thakursa's haveli had a better fare. And now he was forced to live with his wife in the toxic haveli were there was nothing left. He would turn into a jaanwar just like his father. Paro baisa was a delicate butterfly who would be driven away by such harshness and he would be all alone. He needed a good role model like her Thakursa who was a model husband, perfect in every way. Right now, he was just down on his luck. But soon everything would be alright as soon as Rudra is by her side.          

Samrat hated to leave his uncle alone in a bad mood. So he tried to lighten things up, "How come he was interested in drama?" His uncle replied, "The theatre gave Rudra the chance to pretend he was somebody else. When he was on stage, he wasn't a scrawny kid whose mother didn't want him. He could be a king, a warrior, a lion, a poet and so many things. Then one day Singh Saab turned up at as the chief guest. He decided that's what he wanted to grow up to be. He started to ask about my old missions and started to dream about his future. He had something to look forward to. A new world where his hard work and dedication would wipe away his past. When he joined the academy, that world welcomed him just like he dreamt of. His ruthlessness was rewarded. His toughness appreciated. And whenever his heart ached for his family, he would just kill it. He became a Jallad but he was content. Until our dear Paro bhaisa literally crashed into his life." Samrat smiled he knew the story of how he rescued her in the desert. It was one those stories which would turn into legend as it passed down the family. The story of Rudra and his Paro was one of a kind.