Posted:
Firstly, writing it for the very first time 😆. So comments and feedbacks are very much appreciated. May do another follow up...after this..let's see how this goes...😆. Oh yeah no chappals please 😆. Constructive criticism allowed che!😳😆
I hate the fact that I have to behave in such manner with Laksh. I cannot tell him that I love him ever. I know with a behaviour like this and keeping numb I am only hurting his feelings, breaking his heart, but what choice do I have? I know I cannot open up or else he will leave everything for me. For the sake of me, he will leave everything...and I cannot let that happen. I must do something.
Current situation, he is trying to make the atmosphere light, his smile, his talks, I can just sit here and listen for hours on end.
But reality shows a different path-way. I cannot do this...Why does things always have to be this way? Why cannot It be different? He says I may not be happy with the wedding..I just sit there without saying a word. My heart says speak up but my mind, it drifts in a different direction. I wish to tell him that I love him...I wish to tell him that I care, and I would be the luckiest person ever if I get married to him. But why cannot I just open up? I know I have a fear of him leaving everything behind but things may turn out different...after all his family, I mean his dad has brought this opportunity forward. So why I'm I scared? Why I'm I frightened? Why? Why I'm I getting these mixed emotions...Why this feeling as if something will go wrong? Just why?
His words when he uttered that I can back out of marriage and I do not love him, pierce my heart, His innocent expression...wish I could confess.😭 Wish I could tell him how I feel and what my heart wants. I wish! and I wish I do...Wish there was a magic wand to do so.
Wish I could change our destiny..Wish I could decide upon what we want. My heart yearns for him...He comforts me😳
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
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Sadda Haq Season 2
