My Messed Up Self - ||Jannat's Alter Ego|| *New Pg 5* - Page 4

What Is Wrong With Me?!

"Ugh! What in the world is wrong with me?! HOW?! Why am I feeling so guilty about..about that Ugh! Mr. Aahil!! Such a moron he is! Its his fault not mine! Why should I feel guilty when I haven't even done anything!! Ya Allah!"

Oh yeah! its his fault, coz you have feelings for him. Ofcourse its his fault coz your not feeling guilty. Ofcourse its him! Damn you Mr. Aahil! Bad guy!

Shut up you! What kinda "voice" are you even?! You should agree with ME! Not..not HIM! Or anyone else! Ofcourse its his fault! Such an idiot, asshole, stupid, jerk he is! Ugh!

For what? That you have started to have some "feelings" for him? Hmm, seems legit.

Ya Allah! Feelings?! I DO NOT HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR HIM! Get that straight! I don't feel ANYTHING else than pure hatred for him! What a mistake I have done by trusting THAT jerk!

Oh so you agree, you have SOME kinda feelings for him! What did you say? Ah, hatred yes. Why so much hatred for an "ajnabee" by the way?!

I don't know!! I just don't know! I feel so frustrated when he is around, especially whenever he looks at me! God! What is it with his eyes?!

Ermm. I thought you hated him. Why are you so affected by his eyes? What's with his eyes? Absorbing? Intense? Deep? Vulnerable? Powerful...

Ofcourse I hate him! Never thought I would hate someone so much in my life! Bloody hell! I hate him so much that I guess I don't even love Shaad that much!

Woah! Woah! Woah! What?!!! What did you just say?! You meant...you have stronger feelings for Mr. Aahil than you husband?! Is that what you meant?!

I didn't mean that! I just meant...Ugh! No one should misuse his power like he does! I mean, so what if he is handsome, utterly handsome, he just can't take undue advantage of this! This is not right!! Idiot!!

Hahahaha. Are you for even real?! Do you even know what your talking?! Who is taking undue advantage of his Royal Highness here?! I am sure its not him!

What in the world?! Are you suggesting, its ME who is taking advantage...geez!! Your disgusting man! I so did not and I am not! A handsome man would be called as a handsome man right?! So what did I say wrong?!

You are such a douchebag, you know that?! Its YOU who is calling him handsome, and blaming HIM for being handsome?! Do you even realise what THE HELL does that even mean?!

I am not blaming him for being handsome!! I am just blaming him for WHY?! And why does he always have to say that...that...SANAM's name!! Oh god! I know he loves her like ANYTHING! But everyone isn't Sanam!

Your losing yourself do you know that?! You feel disgusted that why he is handsome and even ridicule if his Sanam is in his thoughts all the time! What do you want?! To have YOU in his thoughts?! Geez!!

Shut the hell up!! I don't want that!! Why would I? I am happy its SHE who is in his thoughts all the time! Sanam, she is! I wonder what does she have in her that he can't just seem to forget her?! Even while kissing another girl!! Ughh!! WHICH GUY DOES THAT!?!

Oh my goodness!! What in the world?!! I should have realised! You were put off by him ONLY because she said Sanam's name while kissing YOU, and not yours!! Hahahaha. Oh god, Girl! You have gotten it so bad!! SO BAD!

Ya Allah!! I WAS NOT!! When did I say that?! You just assume things! YOUR JUST LIKE HIM! Ugh! I am a married girl! Why would I want some other guy to kiss me and say my name?! I mean ofcourse I want him to say my name while kissing...but..No!! I don't mean...Ughh!! This is so frustrating!!

Okay, okay. Calm down. Enough of trolling yourself. You did want him to kiss you, or else why in the world did you close your eyes and leaned in FIRST for the kiss?!! You so invited him!! Admit it!

Ugh!!! I just got carried away!! It was just a weak moment! And I so regret it!! I would never cheat my husband! And I am so guilty of taking that step!

Weak moment?! Yeah right! You so wanted that, since the time you met him! Admit it! Your heart KNOWS you have feelings for him. STRONGER than you could ever have for your husband!

I admit!!! I admit I do have feelings for him!! But that is NOT RIGHT!! I am a married girl, he is a married guy, though not happy but...

Huh?!! What?!! What did you just...goodness!! You mean you KNOW what he wants? You KNOW he is not happy!? And did you just...oh my god! Did you just say, you want HIM to want you?!! Good lord!

I am so gonna crush your bloody mouth now!! When the hell did I even say that?! i was just being obvious..I mean isn't it so obvious?! Their marriage is not happy, he still loves his..his...That Sanam, whatever!

You look cute when your jealous like that, you know?! Aww, look at that innocent pout! Hey why don't you tell all these things to HIM?! I am sure he would also want to take things to the next lev...

Jeezzz!!! You...!! Go away, you!! How ridiculous! And I am not jealous! Let him live with the memories of his "Love" and,,,why do I even care about what he does and what not...!! I don't care if he..ugh I just don't care about him! I just want him to stay away from me..or else..

Or else what?! You would be able to listen to your heart?! For once...?! are you trying to run away from youe heart's calling, your true feelings?! Run run..till you can..you can never escape them. Enjoy till you can..Jannat!

*poof*