A Randhir OS- 'A peep into his heart'

Yet again he had called her.

Comforted, consoled and assured her.

"I love you Ragini. I'm fine."

"I'll be there with you soon"

He had tried to sound as convincing as possible. Tried to cheer up the poor soul . After all he had promised Karan, he would take care of Ragini.And Randhir Singh Shekhawat was a man of words.

Every time he spoke to her posing as Karan, God only knew the immense will power with which he prevented himself from breaking down. Keeping up his brave front.

Yeah, that was something Rank No.1 excelled in. Hiding his feelings.He had mastered the art long back.

How old was he then?

He could not clearly remember.

Flashes of incidents crossed his mind.The quarrels at home,the bitter memories,his inebriated father,his ambitious mother.Nobody had time for him.Nobody wanted to know what pleases him, what troubles him.They were all too busy in their own world to understand him.

And suddenly one morning little Randhir decided that he would create a facade. It would act as a shield to protect his lonely,vulnerable soul.Safe,quite safe from external attacks.He would never let anybody know how emotionally delicate he was,how fragile his wee heart was.He would don the mask of an arrogant, chauvinistic "don't-mess-with-me" guy just to hide his inner turmoil. He had led himself to believe the fact that his heart was just an organ that pumped blood,nothing more than that.

And he had managed to do exactly that.

Karan. Yes ,he was the only one who could easily see through his facade. How he accomplished that seemingly impossible task, Randhir wondered. Pity, he never had a chance to ask him.And now his buddy was too far away to answer the unanswered question.

Curse his fate.Lady luck never seemed to favour him when it came to relationships. Rank No.1 struggled to find solutions to the myriad equations of life and failed miserably.

He knew it was a sin to deceive Ragini,she was building castles in thin air. Believing Randhir blindly. No matter how hard Randhir tried to muster up courage to spill the beans to her, he just couldn't.

And there was another significant character in his life to whom he could not or would not share his predicament.

Sanyukta. His "farzi".

What an irony, despite being "farzi" , she was perhaps the most providential truth in his life. She had shattered all his barriers, made him drop all his guards, crossed the moats of trust,faith and had conquered his life's fort. An admirable feat,he ungrudgingly admitted it.

Her mere presence soothed his troubled soul. He desperately needed a hug right now. To find solace in her arms.To forget all his worries and just enjoy the bliss of their proximity.

How he longed to whisper "Sanyu" in her ear at the moment.His lips curved into a smile at the thought. No, he sternly told himself, she was the most precious thing in his life and come what may, he could never afford to lose her.

What must he do now?

His heart told him one thing, his mind another. Whom should he listen to at the moment? For the life of him he couldn't decide.

Well ,he must get a grip on himself. He would set everything right. Randhir Singh Shekhawat never accepted defeat.

The tug of war of his heart and mind continues. The latter has been the victor up till now but will the former prove to be stronger of the two? Randhir does not know.

Despite of who the victor may be, Randhir wishes that at the end his "farzi" would be alongside him, linking her arm with his forever and ever more. Randhir Singh Shekhawat fervently hoped so.

PS: Bore to nahin hue?

Agar hue to Alpenlibe khao, boriyat bhagao.

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