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Kalki Koechlin: I was super excited about showing my naked body
Kalki: For ten minutes, I was in shock! I went to boarding school with girls, having showers, practising kissing on our arms, so I thought, no big deal. But here, I was terrified! I felt like a virgin all over again.
Shonali: Then, in the hetero scene, we realised Kalki's nipples are the wrong colour! That was really funny. We were giggling, she was lying there, the make-up person was colouring... Kalki (putting on a sour face) " The make-up person was like, 'I've not applied for this job.'
Shonali: William Moseley, the American actor, was even more terrified! He'd never done a sex scene. Your actors are dying a thousand times " but you have to make them go for another take. That's hard.
Given all the frankness, were you worried about censorship?
Shonali: Very worried. Aamir told me we wouldn't get the certificate, there's a crazy board right now, why didn't we do it earlier?! Everyone abroad said India wouldn't even release the film. All we got was one small eight-second cut.
This is an unusual Hindi film, showcasing a mother-daughter, not son, bond " tell us more?
Revathi: Well, my mother and I have a very beautiful bond. I let those emotions flow. For me, it was about looking at Kalki, connecting with her. I had to feel she's my daughter. And that happened. It was easy, I don't know why. A few scenes were cathartic, like when the mother breaks down in front of her mirror. Her whole worry is what her daughter's going through. A million things live inside your head " in a scene like that, they help you. Also, we stayed together in New York. You understood when to give people space " and when to pamper them!
Kalki: Revathi was a mother off set too! She'd check if you'd eaten, if you were tired. She'd cook sambhar. She'd talk Tamil with me. She'd always nurture.
Shonali: The mother-daughter bond is actually very important for me. I was very close to my mother. I lost her at 21. I think I've re-enacted that in both my films... I've always had that yearning " and it still remains with me.
Srijana Mitra Das
BombayTimes
Apr 13, 2015
'Margarita With A Straw' portrays the story of Laila, played by Kalki Koechlin, who has cerebral palsy " and a tremendous zest for life. Alongside Laila stands her mother, played by Revathi, and Laila's visually-impaired girlfriend Khanum, played by Sayani Gupta. Director Shonali Bose and Margarita's three leading ladies speak about disabilities, empowerment, sex, censors " and mother-daughter bonds:
What's the story behind this story?
Shonali: Well, Malini, my younger cousin, has cerebral palsy. I never thought of her as different. We'd slap her around like any other kid " she was very goodie-goodie, she'd tell my aunt everything! We faced social discrimination when we went out. But we got used to it. We'd stick out our tongues at people staring, get into fights. It was normal. When we were teens, Malini would tell me, 'That boy's in love with me, he has a crush on me.' It would break my heart because if you're not used to someone of the opposite sex giving you attention, you can misinterpret that.
But I forgot it and Malini went onto Oxford to do a double MA. Later, my aunt, who started India's first school for cerebral palsy, said, 'Why don't you make a film on this?' But something I knew so well wasn't exciting to me as a filmmaker. Then, Malini and I had this conversation where she talked about yearning at 39 to have sex, be kissed, to have love. To hear that shocked me because at that point, you've been there, done that, other things have become more important... This was like hearing a teenager speaking. That was a revelation to me. I thought I'll teach her how to masturbate to deal with this situation. I had to find the right vibrator " which wasn't easy. That's why there's a funny scene in the film involving a vibrator. It's interesting because even if you're an able-bodied woman, going to a shop and asking for a vibrator is difficult.
Revathi: Even asking for a condom is embarrassing!
Shonali: But that moment sparked it for me as a filmmaker " to explore this unexplored thing in cinema. We took a year and a half on the script, then came the actors. Revathi had never rehearsed for any film. But here, they had to bond " and let me form an umbilical cord with them. For me, the director-actor relationship is like a mother-child one. If your actors can be like toddlers, then they play freely because they know their mama is there for them " that's when they don't worry. I never allow actors to see the monitor. They've only now seen the full film.
Kalki, Sayani, you play characters with physical challenges. What preparations were needed?
Kalki: For me, it was hugely intimidating. Thank God Malini let me into her life! She shared her secrets and bottles of wine with me. I stayed at her house, went to her workplace. I worked with her physiotherapist and speech therapist to understand how the muscles work " there's less control on them. That affects emotions like laughter. The tongue is a muscle too, so this affects your speech " it's like someone's holding your tongue while you're trying to speak. They can't take deep breaths. They run out of oxygen halfway through a sentence. I worked with Malini, with professionals, with people who have cerebral palsy " then practiced every day. I wanted to make it muscle memory. I had six months. I was shooting songs for Ye Jawaani, doing a play, but I had an hour everyday when I'd only be Laila. Whatever I did, working on my computer, making dinner, I'd do it in Laila mode. When we began shooting, I decided to stay in the wheelchair. I felt so restrained, so frustrated. People would stare at me. Shallow breathing left me exhausted. I had pains. It made me very emotional " I could cry at the drop of a hat! But it also made me humourous. I'd make jokes, so that others felt comfortable around me.
Sayani: I had a month. I called Naseeruddin Shah who'd taught me, he listed exercises. The basic thing was to live with darkness. I blindfolded myself. I cooked, bathed, crossed roads like that. I took classes at the National Association for the Blind, learnt basic Braille. I met a special voice and accent trainer. She told me how she arranges her wardrobe, recognises her kitchen containers. She showed me her life.
Was filming the sex, gay to hetero, difficult?
What's the story behind this story?
Shonali: Well, Malini, my younger cousin, has cerebral palsy. I never thought of her as different. We'd slap her around like any other kid " she was very goodie-goodie, she'd tell my aunt everything! We faced social discrimination when we went out. But we got used to it. We'd stick out our tongues at people staring, get into fights. It was normal. When we were teens, Malini would tell me, 'That boy's in love with me, he has a crush on me.' It would break my heart because if you're not used to someone of the opposite sex giving you attention, you can misinterpret that.
But I forgot it and Malini went onto Oxford to do a double MA. Later, my aunt, who started India's first school for cerebral palsy, said, 'Why don't you make a film on this?' But something I knew so well wasn't exciting to me as a filmmaker. Then, Malini and I had this conversation where she talked about yearning at 39 to have sex, be kissed, to have love. To hear that shocked me because at that point, you've been there, done that, other things have become more important... This was like hearing a teenager speaking. That was a revelation to me. I thought I'll teach her how to masturbate to deal with this situation. I had to find the right vibrator " which wasn't easy. That's why there's a funny scene in the film involving a vibrator. It's interesting because even if you're an able-bodied woman, going to a shop and asking for a vibrator is difficult.
Revathi: Even asking for a condom is embarrassing!
Shonali: But that moment sparked it for me as a filmmaker " to explore this unexplored thing in cinema. We took a year and a half on the script, then came the actors. Revathi had never rehearsed for any film. But here, they had to bond " and let me form an umbilical cord with them. For me, the director-actor relationship is like a mother-child one. If your actors can be like toddlers, then they play freely because they know their mama is there for them " that's when they don't worry. I never allow actors to see the monitor. They've only now seen the full film.
Kalki, Sayani, you play characters with physical challenges. What preparations were needed?
Kalki: For me, it was hugely intimidating. Thank God Malini let me into her life! She shared her secrets and bottles of wine with me. I stayed at her house, went to her workplace. I worked with her physiotherapist and speech therapist to understand how the muscles work " there's less control on them. That affects emotions like laughter. The tongue is a muscle too, so this affects your speech " it's like someone's holding your tongue while you're trying to speak. They can't take deep breaths. They run out of oxygen halfway through a sentence. I worked with Malini, with professionals, with people who have cerebral palsy " then practiced every day. I wanted to make it muscle memory. I had six months. I was shooting songs for Ye Jawaani, doing a play, but I had an hour everyday when I'd only be Laila. Whatever I did, working on my computer, making dinner, I'd do it in Laila mode. When we began shooting, I decided to stay in the wheelchair. I felt so restrained, so frustrated. People would stare at me. Shallow breathing left me exhausted. I had pains. It made me very emotional " I could cry at the drop of a hat! But it also made me humourous. I'd make jokes, so that others felt comfortable around me.
Sayani: I had a month. I called Naseeruddin Shah who'd taught me, he listed exercises. The basic thing was to live with darkness. I blindfolded myself. I cooked, bathed, crossed roads like that. I took classes at the National Association for the Blind, learnt basic Braille. I met a special voice and accent trainer. She told me how she arranges her wardrobe, recognises her kitchen containers. She showed me her life.
Was filming the sex, gay to hetero, difficult?
Kalki: I was super excited about showing my naked body! I was like, oh, don't worry, I'm totally uninhibited " but on the actual day, on a closed set, with both my director and DOP women, I was so uncomfortable! So many people looking at you and you must repeat actions several times. That was really difficult...
Kalki: For ten minutes, I was in shock! I went to boarding school with girls, having showers, practising kissing on our arms, so I thought, no big deal. But here, I was terrified! I felt like a virgin all over again.
Shonali: Then, in the hetero scene, we realised Kalki's nipples are the wrong colour! That was really funny. We were giggling, she was lying there, the make-up person was colouring... Kalki (putting on a sour face) " The make-up person was like, 'I've not applied for this job.'
Shonali: William Moseley, the American actor, was even more terrified! He'd never done a sex scene. Your actors are dying a thousand times " but you have to make them go for another take. That's hard.
Given all the frankness, were you worried about censorship?
Shonali: Very worried. Aamir told me we wouldn't get the certificate, there's a crazy board right now, why didn't we do it earlier?! Everyone abroad said India wouldn't even release the film. All we got was one small eight-second cut.
This is an unusual Hindi film, showcasing a mother-daughter, not son, bond " tell us more?
Revathi: Well, my mother and I have a very beautiful bond. I let those emotions flow. For me, it was about looking at Kalki, connecting with her. I had to feel she's my daughter. And that happened. It was easy, I don't know why. A few scenes were cathartic, like when the mother breaks down in front of her mirror. Her whole worry is what her daughter's going through. A million things live inside your head " in a scene like that, they help you. Also, we stayed together in New York. You understood when to give people space " and when to pamper them!
Kalki: Revathi was a mother off set too! She'd check if you'd eaten, if you were tired. She'd cook sambhar. She'd talk Tamil with me. She'd always nurture.
Shonali: The mother-daughter bond is actually very important for me. I was very close to my mother. I lost her at 21. I think I've re-enacted that in both my films... I've always had that yearning " and it still remains with me.
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