OS: It was Love.

It was just an ordinary Tuesday morning with endless chores to be done one after the other both at home and the hospital where Ragini worked as the administrative head. In fact, it was like one of the busy weekdays that started very early with waking her son up for his classes and literally feeding him paranthas for breakfast before he'd scoot off for the rest of the day. Later the day would just stretch like a dark concrete never ending road for her with lined up work. Not that Ragini complained because she had made her choice to live this life few years ago. After her legal separation from her handsome husband, perhaps the wealthiest doctor in town, she brought up her children, her son Arav and daughter Nishi all alone. Something she'd never imagined or wished to do so when she took her marital vows with him at twenty. But life isn't that kind, is it?

Holding a cup of tea, Ragini stepped out into the small balcony of her modest flat tucked away in a cozy, happy society away from the chaos of the city. She sipped onto her flavored tea in silence. It was only this time of the day when she was left all alone with some random thoughts running in her mind. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes in an effort to relax. She needed an out - physically, emotionally and mentally. In the last fifteen years she realized, it was only with her children that she felt alive. Something she felt for the first time when she met Nachiket. Only with him she'd felt lively, she felt energized and full of life. Only with him she felt passionate about everything, there was so much to tell, to hear, to know, to see and discuss. Only with him every moment that lasted seemed too precious to be lived just once and archived as memory. She wanted to hold on to time with both her hands and never let it pass. If god had granted a wish then she would have wished for the time to stand still. While she stood there thinking all alone, the gentle breeze kissed her face and she opened her eyes and very randomly she asked herself, Was is it really love'?

Pushing her thoughts aside, Ragini turned on her side to pick the watering can and began to water her dear plants who kept company to her silently. She had them all, tuberoses, roses, jasmine and her favorite white lilies. All of them lovingly potted by her that proudly dotted the balcony forming a miniature garden she was fond of. They were her mute friends, who made their presence felt through their fragrance each telling a different story. Swaying sometimes with the gentle winds in the evenings as if answering her questions and sometimes staying still as if listening to her calmly. How gloriously had each grown with time, each happy in their own space. Her eyes fell on the white lilies that grew up with pride in the extreme corner of the lot. Just as her, away from the prying eyes of the world, buds blossoming into beautiful flowers to be nurtured and cared forever with love. Nachiket had been her nurturer.

He'd noticed her the very first day of their medical camp based in picturesque Shillong. While the mix of medical students from different colleges in India spent good time interacting, Nachiket, the coy Punjabi boy was smitten only by her from the minute he had laid his eyes on her. By the end of the nine days of the camp, Ragini had lost her heart too, to this godly looking man who was the most chivalrous, smartest and wittiest yet endearing. He had come to become special to her in just a few days. She smiled unknowingly as she recollected his shy smile when he confessed his love for her in the simplest way ever. It was very ordinary, something she'd seen it millions of times on TV or in movies, but it was the extraordinary way he'd done it. He'd taken her to the most beautiful garden of lilies she'd ever seen. I want to fill my life with all the innocence, freshness and hope just like these lilies.' he'd said plainly. Did her heart beat faster than ever before? Yes! Did she feel the sudden rush of blood in her veins? Yes! Did she feel beautiful? Absolutely yes! She was his freshness, the hope he saw in her. Only Nachiket, in the whole wide world, made her feel this way, it was love.

Ragini felt the softness of the petals as she touched it tenderly. Her cheeks colored instantly, as even after so many years she vividly recollected how soft and tender his lips felt on hers. Not once, not twice but every time when he had made love to her. And every time it felt so right, so correct and so true. So many blissful nights spent in passionate love making with him as his wife all witnessed by these lilies, sometimes spread on the bed while at times they were found slowly blushing crimson by dawn on the bedside tables. Only Nachiket was her man, her lover, her dream, it was love.

New buds!', Ragini exclaimed pleasantly. She examined yet another pot that was kept guarded and securely away from the others, she had planted lily again. It had sprung to life so soon and just the way she had expected it to. More fragrance, more love to share she thought. Her joy could not be contained. They were her children, as dear as her son and daughter. She had laughed so much when Nachiket had endlessly teased her that they'd have as many children in his home as many lily plants she'd have in their balcony. Of course his love for her was more and so much more that they were blessed with four beautiful children. Only Nachiket, the perfect father he could be acknowledged a wonderful mother in her, it was love.

The soft sound of wind chimes brought her back from her reverie. She dismissed her thoughts and hurried to pick her purse and keys up before she left for work. She closed the door behind her and took quick steps to cross the two blocks towards the main road to find an auto rickshaw. Summers had nearly set in as the scorching heat could be felt. She felt it prick her soft skin so she covered her bare hands with her saree pallu. Wearing sarees to work was always uncomfortable and she never fancied it until Nachiket had once mentioned it to her that he liked her most in sarees. That's it! Ragini had purchased twenty sarees and discarded all her salwar kameez the very next day. She would do anything to make that one man happy. Nachiket, the only man she dressed up for, the only man whose appreciation mattered to her the most. But little did she know that his fascination to see her in sarees had certain conditions. He was being unreasonable, wanting her to never wear sarees if he wasn't around her. Not even for social occasions when it was rather compulsory for her to wear but couldn't because Nachiket would not participate in the said occasion. The disapproval slowly grew from polite requests to heated arguments. Nachiket who was so compassionate and so caring otherwise was often unsettled when he could not have his say. They had their first lovers tiff that evening. It was at his best friend's birthday dinner when she chose not to wear a saree even when with him. She had her will too. She had her moods too. He had sarcastically pointed out in public how she did contrary to all that he said embarrassing her. He was too upset clearly and drunk too. 'Wear all those sarees revealing your curves for your Romeos at work for all I care', he'd said caustically. His words had pierced through her heart as the lightening. It seemed nothing less than a curse to her. Tears had streamed down her eyes. She wiped them only to give way for fresh tears. Only Nachiket, the overprotective husband but yet madly in love with her could be guilty the next morning and apologize in his own way. Fresh white lilies lay heavy on a fluttering note scribbled in his writing. The brilliant white color to call it a truce, it was love.

'Its trouble when sentimental love becomes an imperious want', she'd once read. And Ragini's worst fears had begun to slowly come alive. The days passed by, Nachiket's insecurity, his possessiveness grew leaps and bounds. Sure, he had a beautiful wife who attracted many admirers, but was there any room for feelings such as jealousy now? They were married for a good eight years now and had just welcomed their twins making their family bigger. Despite that Nachiket was being a typical male. He had made it very evident that her harmless friendship with a male colleague was not welcome. Why was it wrong for her to have male friends while he could have many female friends? She never objected or raised any issues? She was his wife, mother of his children; she never had any qualms and reservations. Things worsened when he had bitterly accused her of infidelity. He was raging with ferocious anger when he learnt that she had been secretly bringing up another man's child at his friend's place. It was very obvious for him to be angry with her for hiding such a big thing, but she had her reasons to hide and they were hidden from him for his own good. That love child was his sister's. Suhani was Pam's and Nachiket's friend RK's daughter. His unwed sister had given birth to her, but refused to accept her. RK wanted to marry her and live as one family but she wanted nothing, not his love not his daughter but freedom.

But what did Ragini's goodness earn her? Nachiket's allegations and accusations. His ruthless anger that only grew wilder with her every plea to let her explain things just once. He unfortunately believed the wrong stories told to him and declared his decision to part ways. Her untold story remained unheard and his momentary lapse of judgment had wrecked her home forever. He was blinded by Nivedita, his childhood friend who secretly loved him, but failed to win over his love. She was seeking such a moment to ruin their lives and Nachiket's indifference offered her that. Didn't his heart crush into pieces when he thought HIS Ragini would cheat on him? Didn't he for once feel that his love for Ragini could never be so fragile to be easily shattered? They had differences yes, like any other couple, but not so severe that would lead her to cruelly crush his feelings or mercilessly walk out of their relationship, or break his trust. What happened to his promises to never let go of her? What happened to all his promises to never mistrust her or their relationship? What happened to the millions of reassurances and his words of trust? All gone? So easily?

Ragini felt a strong jerk when the rickshaw driver suddenly hit the break. Sudden commotion and driver's voice announcing the arrival of her destination brought her back to present. She felt her tensed body slowly relaxing as she let out the breath that she had been holding in for long. Without waiting for another minute she gave him a hundred rupee note and stepped out of the rickshaw disoriented and hassled. Only after she took a couple of steps she realized she had held something in her fist. She slowly opened her left palm and found the little lily that she'd picked unconsciously before she left her house, now crushed harshly, victim of her angst. Her sweaty palms had left it lifeless, but it still smelled sweetly not forgetting its very basic nature. That night her relationship had faced its final blow, yet it had survived beautifully in the form of their children now divided between her husband and her. Only Nachiket could love her so much to break her this way that his love would haunt her even after her marriage died a brutal death, his heart broke into millions of pieces, but he loved her with every broken piece so much that he could neither hate her nor be with her, it was love.

Ragini did not have the heart to cast away the crumpled flower that reminded her of her fateful relationship so she put it securely into her purse. So what if it was dead, it still left behind a pleasant scent enough to last long. Her memories of happy days never faded nor got bitter, but grew fonder and sweeter with time. She pushed the door open and went straight to the reception to mark her attendance and collect the updates for the day. Nachiket stood at the far end of corridor reading a case file. He was called upon for a major heart surgery and that explains why he returned to her city, into her life after fifteen long years. He'd been there for a week, but not once did they exchange words. Their eyes met and in an instant she sensed his eyes clouding with anger. Was it anger? Did she judge him right? His piercing eyes had a different story to tell. She sighed and turned away from him. It may not have been love after all, if he is burning inside with disgust than regret even after learning the truth from his own sister after fifteen years, she thought. She walked away in silence to her cabin; each thought that consumed her since morning slowly disappearing into the back of her mind pulling her out to reality. The minute she pushed open the door to her cabin, strong yet familiar sweet smell of lilies filled her nostrils. She was welcomed by fresh white ones in a vase on her table. She needed no explanation for their sudden appearance . Only Nachiket could rekindle the long lost love with hope - the lilies. She sensed his presence at the door from where he looked at her teary eyed appealing silently for forgiveness for all the grief, for all the misery, for all the loneliness they both lived through, it was love.

END