I wrote this one very quickly and didn't proofread so please excuse any mistakes. Waiting to see how everyone reacts to this update though. Be honest. 😊
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Chapter 54:
"Stop it Kabir. I don't need you to distract me from anything. I'm fine."
He looked towards Rachna with a mischievous smile, seeing her lips move but not paying attention to the words that came out of her mouth. He was too distracted by the fabric on her shoulder that was now unpinned and just carelessly tossed over her collarbone, thanks to his swift move of unfastening the pin that had earlier held it securely in place. The small movements of her shoulders, as she spoke to him agitatedly, were slowly dislodging the precariously balanced fabric from its position, allowing it to slide further down her shoulder. He looked on impatiently, waiting for the pallu to fall from her shoulder and reveal the smooth skin of her abdomen that he was yearning to cover with kisses. Kabir shifted his gaze from Rachna's shoulder to her face, which looked extremely pale all of a sudden, and watched with concern as she stopped talking to hold her head gently, while her body swayed unsteadily.
"Rachna?" he called out hesitantly, his expression morphing quickly into one of panic, as he watched the fabric slide off of her shoulder and her body follow the same path down just moments later.
His heart dropped to his feet and his stomach lurched up to his mouth; the soft thud of his wife hitting the carpeted floor rang in his ears as he sat unmoving on the bed. His brain screamed at him to run to her, call out for help, do something...anything. But his body seemed to have disconnected itself and stopped responding to his brain's signals. A few seconds...a few minutes...a few hours? He didn't know how long he sat in a daze, staring at his wife's crumpled body on the ground in front of him. His brain screamed loudly again for him to move and he lurched forward with a stumble, breathing a sigh of relief to see Rachna's eyes flutter open.
Kneeling down beside her, Kabir supported Rachna's back and shoulders as she sat up gradually, blinking her eyes a few times to adjust to the light in the room. Reflexively, she pulled up the pallu of her sari to cover herself and stood up slowly, swaying a bit, only to be firmly held by her husband, who stood next to her, looking worried. She shrugged his hands off of her shoulders, irritated by his earlier actions of trying to seduce her in the pretext of distracting her, and took another step towards the bed, pushing out her arms into the air in an attempt to balance herself as the room spun dangerously around her. Kabir forcibly held her shoulders to steady her, ignoring her attempts to squirm out of his grip, and led her to the bed. Helping Rachna lie down on the bed, Kabir ran his fingers through his hair with relief, pausing as a troubling thought popped into his mind.
"When was the last time you ate Rachna?" he asked anxiously, himself trying to remember when he had last seen her put anything edible into her mouth.
Hearing no response, Kabir sat down on the bed at Rachna's side and stroked her forehead softly, pushing away the stray hairs from her face. She opened her eyes and sharply pushed his hand off, turning onto her side so she was facing away from him.
He let out a slow breath before touching her shoulder delicately and asking again, trying to keep his voice calm and steady. "Have you eaten anything at all today?"
Rachna maintained her silence and jerked his hand off of her shoulder again, causing him to become a bit annoyed. Turning away from her, Kabir shifted his position on the bed and opened the drawer of the bedside table, pulling out the medicine box. Rummaging through its contents, he pulled out a packet of an orange-flavored rehydration powder. Mixing the contents of the packet into a glass of water that was already on the bedside table, Kabir held the glass of orange liquid out towards his wife and spoke softly.
"Here, drink this."
When Rachna remained unresponsive and continued to lie on the bed in silence, Kabir put the glass back onto the bedside table, and pulled her up into a sitting position, ignoring her struggles to thwart his touch. Once she was sitting with her back resting against the headboard, he placed the glass at her lips and tilted the liquid into her mouth, forcibly holding it there until she finished drinking the entire contents of the glass. Setting the empty glass on the side table, Kabir observed his wife, becoming eased as the color slowly returned to her face.
"You are clearly not fine." He emphasized the last two words, taking one of her hands into his and stroking it softly with his fingers.
Rachna closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the headboard, sighing defeatedly.
"When was the last time you ate?"
"I don't remember." Her reply came out as a whisper; she was completely drained.
"Why are you driving yourself crazy Rachna? I just don't understand. What is worrying you so much?" He questioned anxiously.
She resumed her silence, tears building steadily behind her closed eyes.
"Rachna, I saw you standing in the balcony earlier this evening. I waved to you, but you were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn't even notice. What's wrong sweetheart?" He placed a loving kiss onto the back of her hand and continued stroking it softly.
The hot tears squeezed their way out from behind her eyelids and tumbled down her cheeks, startling him.
"Rachna? Baby talk to me, what's the matter?" He asked with alarm, as he looked at the tears that continued to fall.
"I wish the miscarriage had never happened." Keeping her eyes closed, she choked out the words as the lump in her throat grew and a sob shook her body violently.
He stopped stroking her hand, letting it fall and land on the bed, causing her to look towards him with surprise. Standing up, Kabir kept his back towards Rachna and touched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger, pushing to keep his frustration at bay. Sighing loudly as he turned around to face his wife, he took another deep breath to remain calm, before he opened his mouth to speak.
"Having a child isn't what defines us. That's what I told you earlier as well. I thought we moved past all this, then why are you..."
He stopped himself from going further, as he sensed the sharpness building in his voice.
"Because I saw how happy you were playing with Shiv. I saw how adoringly you looked at Shivani. Then how could I not think about the fact that I can never put that smile on your face?"
Kabir clenched his hands into fists with aggravation, speaking slowly as he tried to keep the edge out of his voice. "Why don't you understand you have already put that smile on my face by just being in my life? All that truly matters is you and me, that's all we need to make us."
"No, it's not. You and me makes us but it doesn't make a family." She spoke through her sobs.
"Damn it, that's enough Rachna! When you revealed the true reason for why you chose to go away from me, I blamed myself for not trying harder to support you in the time after the miscarriage. I blamed myself for letting you go away from me without a fight. Since we've come together, I've been trying time and time again to help you move on from that incident. But you're stuck in the same place, like you just don't want to move forward." He spoke the biting words frustratedly, his voice rising a notch higher than normal.
Rachna's lower lip trembled upon hearing the accusatory words. "You think I'm not trying to move on? Do you even realize how hard it is for me to see with my own eyes as both of my sisters experience the joy that I'll never be able to? Do you know how hard I try to keep a smile on my face when I just want to burst into tears?" Her voice cracked at the end.
His face hardened with infuriation. "Do you realize what it feels like to suddenly, at the age of 29, find out that you have an older brother who tried to kill you when you were a mere child of 3? Do you realize what it feels like to see your father, who you thought had died 13 years ago in a car accident, reappear in front of your eyes completely fine and healthy? Do you realize what it feels like to have your entire existence be deemed worthless and insignificant by the very woman that brought you into this world? Do you realize what it feels like to be called a mistake by your own mother? Do you realize what it feels like to have craved for just one loving glance from your mother for your entire life but to have received only angry glares? Do you realize what it feels like to have been ousted from your position by the board of directors of your own company on a false case of sexual harassment? Do you realize what it feels like to have the person whom you love the most in this world willingly push herself away from you without giving a single explanation as to why she is doing so? Do you realize how many pieces my heart shatters into when I see even one tear fall from your eyes? Do you realize how hard I'm fighting myself to forget and move on from all the things that I have learned just a few days ago so you and I can make a fresh start again in less than 2 weeks when we renew our vows? Do you realize that I only did what I did tonight so I could cheer you up? Do you realize any of this Rachna? Or are you blind to everything besides your own feelings?"
He kept his angry red eyes fixed onto her shocked tear-stained face, leaving a deafening silence in the room after he screamed out the last of the bitter words, several decibels higher than his normal conversational tone.
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❤️ Nivi
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Cricket
