| "Yeh Maa banne waali hai", "O Ramu Kaaka, zara idhar to aana", "Ae pardesi babu" and "Inko dava ki nahin dua ki zaroorat hai" are some of the most oft heard Hindi film dialogues. In other words, they are your most prevalent clichs or stereotypes. The flowers coming together to signify the merging of aching lips, a fateful monsoon night when 'mann aur tan ka milan' takes place followed by fertile pregnancy, the village belle dancing and prancing in full youth, shying and simpering away to glory, the quintessential rape which has given many a villain their only identity, that glorious song on the grand piano as the camera pans and circles in joy and of course the beastly tales of good animal nature. Coming to think of it we all love and enjoy the Bollywood clichs of the repetitive kinds. Don't we! Read on….
11. GANG OF GIRLS
In the Sixties, heroines always went for picnics with a gaggle of their sahelis on bicycles, singing all the way. The sahelis, of course were never as good-looking as the heroine. Surrounded by a gang of his own friends (also on bicycles), the hero always followed the girls, leading to much of what was called chheda-chhedi
12. THE VILLAGE BELLE
Just as every film in the days of yore had its hero, heroine, villain, mother and mandatory funny person (the mandatory funny person, by the way, was usually quite stout), it also had its village belle. Invariably dressed in a short ghagra with a really tiny choli, she usually wandered around the village at will, saucily chewing on a ganna. The village belle, often played by Asha Parekh and Mala Sinha, was pert but chaste and innocent. The village thakur or lecherous moneylender usually lusted after her. But her heart was always set on the "sheheri babu / pardesi" (city boy). He too was in love with her, but would have to go back to the city.
13. TIE A YELLOW RIBBON
If it weren't for his sister, we'd never have known how much the hero loved his family. No matter what the hero loved got up to - and sometimes, even though he was the hero, he did some pretty rebellious things - we knew his values were intact because the never forget Rakshabandhan and his promise to protect his sister. This meant, however, that whenever the hero and villain found themselves in conflict, the hero's sister was in grave danger. In fact, pretty often, as in Jigar, she'd be raped.
14. MUSIC FOR THE SAVAGE BREAST
It's a classic scene - the hero's (or hero's friends) birthday party and the heroine, torn between two lovers. One lover would vent his emotions by spreading his fingers lavishly over the keys of a handy grand piano, the other would stand in corner, face half hidden by shadows, brooding. And if the lover at the piano truly loved the heroine but was willing to give her up for his friend, he'd sing a happy song. Contemporary twist: The lover at the piano could sing a weepy song on talent search reality shoe, win crores, and make a career in film music.
15. RAMU KAKA
Whether the hero's family was rich or poor, the old family retainer (who always wore a gamcha over his shoulders) called Ramu Kaka was always there. Ramu kaka never had much to say beyond "Beta, dudh pi lo." But everyone loved him nonetheless.
16. POWER WITHOUT GLORY
"Bhagwan ke liye chhod mujhe! Kuttey, kameeney!" We heard those words more often then we like to remember in movies where villains, simply to prove they were men of power, tried to rape every woman in sight. "Itni acchi cheez ko bhagwan ke liye chhod doon?" was the rapist's almost invariable reply. The women in these scenes were often sister of heroes used as pawns in the hero-villain conflict, but sometimes heroines as well. The rape victim was usually dressed in a saree and her pallu, blouse and pleats would be ripped off in that order.
17. DOCTOR, DOCTOR
Typically, he was soberly dressed in a black coat and carried a small black bag that contained mysterious medical things. Sometimes, he wore his stethoscope around his neck. His three most famous dialogues were "Inko davaa ki nahin, dua ki zaroorat hai", "Davaa ki zaroorat hai" and "Injection de diya hai, thodi der main hosh aa jayega." However, the doctor dialogue we miss most of all is the one that referred to his fee: "Iski kya zaroorat hai?" we would welcome that line back open arms.
18. KISS FROM A ROSE - I
In the olden days, no one had sex. The only thing our hero and heroine could do after they'd whispered sweet nothings into each other's ears was contemplate Nature. As a gentle breeze wafted over the meadow in which our hero and heroine cooed, two roses swayed towards each other. Contemporary twist: Since it has been acknowledged now that people have sex, it seems pointless to replace Emraan Hashmi with flower motif from an environmental point of view.
19. KISS FROM A ROSE - II
Since no one had sex, we have no explanation for the elaborate arrangements that were always made for suhaag raat : A bed strewn with flowers, the heavily bejeweled bride under a ghunghat, the groom in a sherwani and a photograph of a child with a finger on its lips (shhhh!) on the wall. But the scene as we saw it (though we never saw much of it because the bedside lamp always went off in about 20 seconds) went this way: Once the groom had lifted the bride's ghunghat, tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes, the flowers on the bed swayed towards each other as the bride and groom lay down and read an improving book (which explains the photograph of the child with a finger on its lips - this room was actually a library).
20. EK RAAT KI BHOOL
Though sex did not exist in Hind movies, there was the occasional illegitimate child who was always conceived on a bark and stormy night. Our hero and heroine's car breaks down in a storm and they find shelter in a daak bungalow in the middle of nowhere. The daak bungalow is minus chowkidaar but stocked with vast amount of firewood which our hero uses to lay a fire. As our heroine ducks behind a screen to wrap herself in a handy sheet, our hero, having taken off his shirt, catches tantalizing glimpses of her. The flames in the fire place soar higher. Since no one told them about safe sex, this one night of passion leads to a baby something that is discovered, when our heroine throws up one morning, by an old aunt who announces: "Yeh maa banne wali hai".
Contemporary twist: As our hero and heroine make their way to a secluded cabin in the mountain, filmmakers will show them stopping at a chemist's shop to buy condoms. Simple.
21. THE WOMAN IN WHITE
Long before the Ramsay brothers made ghouls with distorted faces famous, the only kind of phantom we knew was the women (often, she had been raped and had committed suicide) who draped herself in a white saree and, candle or lamp in hand. Wandered around abandoned havelis with a completely blank expression on her face. Long loose hair was a must. Bees saal Baad (what a coincidence! That's our headline). Woh Kaun Thi and Mahal are good examples.
22. DIE HARD
What with last minute instructions, advice and emotional blackmail, a dying person in a Hindi movie seldom took less than 20 minutes to actually pop it. Lying feebly on the bed with barely enough breath to stay alive, the dying person would extract several aakhri khwaishs and aakhri wadas from his or her suffering relatives who agreed just to get it over with. And then the dying person would collapse. A piercing "Nahin!" would follow and a nurse (if the person died in a hospital), would cover the dead person's face with a sheet. Contemporary twist: The deathbed speech can the video-taped and uploaded on You Tube where thousands of people all over the world can see it, hear it and vote on its power.
23. JAILHOUSE ROCK
Central Jail exists only in Bollywood. But we've seen it so often in movie like Sholay, Guide and Aradhana that we recognize it instantly. Usually, the people who emerged from the small door cut into the massive gate of Central Jail had been wrongly jailed. Sometimes the newly released person was the hero; he'd walk out with his jacket hooked lightly over his shoulder, and light a cigarette. 24. BEASTLY TALES
Were other people struggled to deal with the trials and tribulations of our hero or heroine's lives, their pets-who frequently understood and empathized with their masters' emotions, sometimes to the extent of bursting into tears-were very clear about one thing. They would do what they could to save their masters, no matter what the cost. So when Poonam Dhillon's character in Noorie was raped and committed suicide, it wasn't just the hero who avenged her, but her pet dog. When Dhillon's character in Teri Meherbaniyan was raped, once again it was a dog this time assisted by a snake, that brought the villains to book. In Haathi Mera Saathi, the elephant not only improved the hero, Rajesh Khanna's life, but also died saving his master's child; and in Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Tuffy, the Pomeranian, is the cupid who gets Salman Khan and Madhuri Dixit Together. But the most famous animals in Hindi movies is Dhanno from Sholay. Not only did the horse give Basanti Company, but it also did its best to save her from Gabbar's men.
25. THE END
With these words on the screen, the director told us loud and clear that the story had ended and it was times for the audience to go home. This story, too, has ended.
😆😆 dats so funny... for me those were the best movies |
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Ye Hai Mohabbatein
Mangal Lakshmi
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