FF: Unloved (Complete) - Page 14

The drive was once again silent as Parvati gazed out the window, wondering where Rudra was taking her. The reflection from the side view mirror showed the city slowly receding behind them. They began going up a small hill that was just beyond the city limits. Soon enough, Rudra had made a turn around the hill, and the city disappeared. After ten minutes, the car rounded another corner and pulled up on a flat hillside. The mossy flat stood directly across from the view of town, where the lights and huge ferris wheel of the Mela shined brightly.

Rudra parked the car and looked over at Parvati, who was glancing around at their surroundings. Obviously she was unsure of their location because she was here, with him, a man she barely knew. There weren't other people there, and she must have been feeling uncomfortable. So he tried to ease her tension.

"We have to get out of the car," he said.

She nodded and did as he said. They moved to the driver's side of the car and leaned up against it. They had a perfect view of the Mela, where the fireworks would be starting shortly. Parvati began fiddling with her dupatta again, and Rudra had noticed. After today, he had realized she did so whenever she was nervous. But he wasn't sure what she was nervous about right now.

"What are you nervous about?" he finally asked her after another moment of silence.

"What?" she questioned back.

"You're nervous. It's obvious by the way you fiddle your dupatta."

Parvati looked down at her hands to find that she was doing it. She forced herself to stop, "It's just an old habit."

"I can see that. I don't have a problem with it. I have habits like that too. But I just wanted to know why you are nervous right now?"

"Umm...where are we?"

"Oh, this is just a small hill outside of the city. If you actually drive down the road more, it leads to another town. So in a sense, we're still in the middle of civilization."

"Oh. Do other people come here?"

"Sometimes. Some friends and I come here when we just want to get away

from it all. A couple years ago we came up here during the Mela, and that's when we saw the fireworks. I can guarantee it is the best spot for it. It's not loud, but you can still see everything perfectly."

Just then, they heard a soft bang followed by a flash of light. They turned their attention to the black night sky, and found it illuminated with fireworks. The show had begun. One by one the different-colored fireworks exploded in the air, creating sparks of all shapes and sizes. Music played from the Mela, which was perfectly in sync with the shooting of fireworks. Parvati watched in amazement. Her mouth was slightly agape, and the sparks from the fireworks reflected beautifully in her eyes. She was completely lost in the show...but Rudra wasn't. He was focused on her. He took into account every color and emotion that reflected off of her face. Her earlier apprehensions seemed to have melted away as she began to enjoy the sight. However, because they were a good distance away, the loud bang only came as a soft rumble, which resulted in an overall silence between them. Rudra realized that it was now or never to talk to Parvati, but with a situation so delicate he would have to tread carefully.

He returned his gaze to the fireworks, but addressed her as he spoke, "I told you it was the best view."

Parvati nodded, "It is. I've never been able to see the fireworks so clearly before."

"I bet Raj and Simran never saw fireworks like this."

"Of course not. They were in London and then Punjab, remember? Not Delhi."

"How could I forget?"

"You said you had seen DDLJ before, right?"

Rudra smirked, "Yeah. I've seen it one too many times. My maa-sa actually loves that movie."

Parvati turned to look at him, "Your maa-sa?"

"Yeah. She is a sucker for romantic movies like that."

"What is your maa-sa like?" she asked softly.

Rudra looked at her confused, "She's like every other maa-sa."

"Meaning?"

"You should know."

Parvati dropped her gaze for a moment before looking back at him, "I don't know. I don't have a maa-sa or bapu-sa."

Thinking that they had died, he said, "I'm sorry for your loss."

"They're not dead, Rudra. At least...I don't think they are."

Rudra's smile vanished. He didn't understand what she was saying at first. She had said that she didn't have parents, but they weren't dead. So then what did she mean? It took him a minute to put the pieces together. His eyes widened as it started to dawn upon him. So the rumors are true, he thought to himself. She is an orphan. Rudra realized that Parvati's parents had abandoned her. As her gaze shifted back to the fireworks in the distance, Rudra finally began to understand the reason for her sadness. How could she be happy knowing that her parents didn't want her? Not only that, but people at college were judging her when they didn't even know the whole story. They only knew she was an orphan, and belonged in a lower class than most of them, but nothing else. The thought made Rudra feel sick. How could people act like that towards Parvati, when she had no fault in any of this? He could feel his insides constrict, like the air was no longer going within him. Rudra wanted to make her feel better, but he didn't know how to sympathize with her, mainly because he had never known anyone going through such things. But he was her friend, and with that title came the responsibility to be there for her.

He looked away from her and said, "My maa-sa is different from other mothers."

Parvati peered at him, while he continued to watch ahead.

"Her mother's intuition is scary sometimes. She understands what I want to say before I even say it. Like one day, I was dying to have some of her kheer. She made it without me having to ask her. She just knew! And, even though I'm not little anymore, she massages my head after a long day. She treats my friends like they are her own kids, and honestly, she remembers all their names and likes and dislikes. She still tries to clean my room for me, but thankfully I got her to stop that. She does so much and never expects anything in return. There are very few people like that in the world nowadays. The things she does, the way she talks, the way she pays attention, it's something only a mother knows how to do. Honestly, I feel like I have the best maa-sa in the world...and I guess sometimes I do take her for granted."

"You shouldn't do that. You don't know how lucky you are to have a maa-sa who loves you unconditionally."

Parvati didn't know what she was doing. She had no idea why she had disclosed such a part of herself to Rudra. She had just gotten so caught up in him talking about his maa-sa that she forgot everything else. She wanted to know what a real relationship between a mother and child was. Parvati often wondered what it would be like, and often dreamt of it growing up. A part of her was desperate to hear about it from Rudra, and that part of her drowned out every warning alarm and signal that went off in her head.

But now that Parvati had disclosed the information about her parents, she couldn't take it back. She feared judgement, and she was worried about what he was going to say. She felt he would judge her, and believe what those students at their university had said. She prepared herself for the distance she expected him to put between them, but what shocked her was that Rudra did no such thing. Instead, he told her about the experiences between a mother and child that he experienced that she craved for. She listened, drinking in each moment and memory as though she was actually there when it had happened.

Meanwhile, Rudra realized that Parvati was right. There were many occasions where he had taken Mala for granted, but never thought anything of it. Until now. He was truly lucky and blessed to have her, but didn't understand how much until now. He looked at Parvati to find her looking at him sadly. There were no tears, but the emptiness in her eyes was still present. He didn't know why, but even after knowing the truth, Rudra felt that there was something more...something else that was the deeper reason for her sadness. The abandonment of her parents wasn't the only thing. He not only read that in her eyes, but felt it in her penetrating, yet vulnerable, stare.

"Parvati, can I ask you something?" he asked.

She slowly nodded.

"Why is there so much sadness in your eyes?"

Parvati didn't respond. She felt her internal walls build up again, but listened as he continued.

"There's just...so much sadness. I noticed it when we first met, and I don't know why, but it's been bothering me ever since. The emotionless, hollow, hazel eyes are filled with dejection...why?"

By the time the words had left his mouth, the fireworks show had stopped. This had gone unnoticed by Parvati. She was too busy letting Rudra's words sink in. She had not realized he was paying so much attention to her, and to be honest it was off-putting. She watched him as his eyes searched hers, waiting for her to answer. However, Parvati wasn't going to tell him. Despite everything, Rudra was still a stranger to her. She had already said too much, and if she opened the darkest door to her past, she wasn't sure if she would be able to handle it again. It was when she tried to divert the topic that she noticed the fireworks had ended.

"We should go," she said looking away from him. "The show is over."

Rudra looked at the sky and saw that the fireworks had stopped, "Oh, okay. I'll drop you home."

Parvati went around to the passenger side and got in, while Rudra hopped in the driver's seat. As usual, they drove back in silence. Even though he didn't speak about it, Rudra took note of how she had tried to avoid talking about the subject. She had refused to answer, and it only confirmed is initial theory that there was more to her sorrow than the loss of her parents. But as much as he wanted to know more about it, he knew he wouldn't get anything out of her. At least, not yet. So, he remained silent, and so did she. They drove to Parvati's home the same way they drove away from it...without a single word uttered. The deafening silence surrounded them.

When they pulled up in front of Mami-sa's home, Rudra had parked the car and got out to open Parvati's door for her. She got out. She had expected that he would drive away as soon as she reached the porch, but that didn't happen. Rudra walked her all the way to the porch, right to the front door, which was closed but unlocked. He stopped a couple feet behind her and looked down at his feet, his hands shoved in his pockets. Parvati had her back to the door, so she was looking at him. She, too, was looking down at her feet at first.

Then, she looked up at him and said, "Thank you for today."

Rudra didn't say anything. He just looked up at her.

"I should get inside. Bye."

Parvati turned and had her hand on the doorknob, when Rudra's voice stopped her, "Paro."

She turned halfway to meet his gaze, partially surprised by the name he had addressed her with since the only one who called her that was Mami-sa.

He took a deep breath and said, "You know, I still want an answer to my question."

Parvati didn't respond, but looked at him.

Rudra took a step closer, "But I don't want to force you to tell me. I want you to tell me because you want to. So I'll wait until you consider me worthy of the answer."

The honesty that dripped in every word overwhelmed Parvati, so much so that she had to look away from him. The tears, which she had managed to control the entire ride back, began escaping. Rudra wanted to know, but he wasn't going to force her. He wanted her to decide when he was worthy to know? How could she decide his worth when she, herself, didn't have any value? How could she even explain this to him?

Rudra became alert when he saw he turn her face away from him. He wondered if Parvati was thinking about telling him. But that thought came crashing down when he saw her shoulders shake. Slowly, he raised his hand and lifted her chin, so he could see her face. Rudra was left speechless as he found tears streaming down her cheeks. He was baffled! What had just happened? Had he said something wrong? She was fine just a second ago! Then these tears?

"Paro, wha-," he began.

"I'm sorry!"

Parvati quickly turned and went inside the house, closing the door on him. Rudra stood there like a statue, staring at the door. The image of Paro crying in front of him was burned into his memory. He stayed on the porch, staring at the door for almost an hour before he finally went to his car. Rudra didn't bother to knock because he knew Paro wouldn't answer, and Mami-sa would probably be asleep since it was late. Feeling defeated, he got in his car and decided to head home, wondering the entire ride back what had gone wrong.

**********

I know what you are all thinking, "What went wrong?!" or "Enough is enough! What happened in Paro's past that made her like this?!" Patience, my loved ones! Till that moment arrives, let me know what you thought of this update by leaving your comments and feedback below!

Next update: A small introduction of Aman and Mami-sa's voice of reason

Thanks for reading!