Anjali & her father - there is LOVE.

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Samridhi

@BinKuchKahe.

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

I've always wanted to discuss this. Anjali & her father. Yes, he wanted a daughter & he feels that Anjali cannot fulfill those dreams which his son would have. Anjali heard this & she found no picture of her & her dad together.

The question is - does he really hate her, as she thinks? Its true that he has never probably sat with her, talk to her like a normal father does, & neither has he showered any special affection on her. But if you look carefully, he's never mistreated her. Upon little insistance, he's always given in to her wants, much more than any one of our parents might give in to. Like allowing her to go on her best friend's wedding, & basically allowing her to live her life the way she wants.

All this doesn't signal to hate IMO. I feel that he loves her in his own way. He does care for her. Before Anjali left for her EVEREST expedition, she touched his feet & he extended his hands forward without thinking. It was a natural reaction. But he held himself back immediately. IMO there is clear love there. What stopped him & always stops him from going one step further to express his love is probably the reminder of his shattered dreams. That desire for a son. I don't think all our parents tell us (or at least mine don't..its been damn long) that they love us each day. Their love is expressed by the simplest of actions, like bringing us up & fulfilling our needs & wants, which Anjali's father does.

Those novels in which where there is this rich kid whose left in a big mansion. He's got all the credit cards, all the money, but no parents to share his happiness with. In that case, sometimes you wonder whether the parents care or not. But Anjali's case can be distinguished from this situation - her father is around, he just doesn't openly dote on her. There are many families like that (I've seen in many muslim families) where the father doesn't do that. It's the mother who really brings up the child. But that doesn't mean that the father doesn't love his daughter. Everyone has their way of expressing their love.

I think he definitely loves her. What do you guys think? Would love to read your opinion.

Edited by prc_fan1 - 11 years ago

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Archu

@cocoatree

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

Beautifully said.. When she was leaving for expedition Brigadier reactions which one is to not for.. He couldn't control his natural reactions on watching his daughter, I could see his eyes with full of deep concern and care for her.. But still I have get why he holded back.. He never mistreated her but he didn't give any space in expressing his father's love towards daughter.. He gave her a basic needs as a father but he doesn't tried in getting into her emotions.. Either what he felt, if he expressed his care, support and affection then it's difficult for him to hold off? He said Anjali a big punishment in his life without acknowledging her presence.. Is there any thing behind this word? After this expedition what will be his perception on Anjali? I'm looking forward!!

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VellaGirl

@VellaGirl

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

I think its about viewpoints really. Now that you say it like that, there is love. But from Anjali's viewpoint, something is lacking definitely. And every child does crave for that affection which she has been devoid of. I think you are right & so is Anjali. And I think Anjali recognises it too, which is why she can be so positive about it. Which is why it took her 20+ years to discover this. She knows her father does not hate her. But she wants the love & respect which is lacking. Her father is capable of that. He's not as conservative & closed up, like the muslim families example you pointed out. Thus, EVEREST.

To put it aptly, there is love. But there is no respect. And I think that's what she is craving for - the respect.

Very interesting post. Made me think a little bit😊

Edited by VellaGirl - 11 years ago

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Aditi

@bright_star89

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

I think anjali's father completely ignores her. Does not take her into account- and thats insulting for a child, Imo. His little gestures , like allowing her to go to her friends wedding , not misbehaving with her, does not make up for it. He is Cold with her, and it seems he is forcefully doing his duty towards his daughter, because, well she is his Daughter- a 'painful truth' , he cant ignore. That is not LOVE, that is a mere obligation , and no child deserves such a treatment. Especially Anjali.

And all this for what??? Because anjali isnt a man, and cant realise his unfulfilled dream! A parent wishes his child to carry forward his legacy, but , if by chance, the child chooses otherwise, does NOT make her unworthy of her parents' respect IMHO.

I think brigadier needs to deal with his complex first. His behaviour is very insulting and completely baseless, to say the least.

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Poluk

@Poluk

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

Love is not expressed only through hugging, kissing or playing with your children. There are a 1000 different ways of expressing love - in fact to each his own. And children are quite capable of discerning whether their parent loves them or not.

For instance my father never touches or hugs us - he is simply a non-touchy person. He never even sat and played a Board game with us. But we know that he loves us with all his life. In fact ask my young son - he says Nana loves me the most, though his Nana has never ever hugged him.

U know when someone loves you. The eyes, the facial expressions, the interest in your small activities, the concern and care says it all. And if there is a void - the children sense it immediately.

If I angrily tell my son - I dont love u - would he ever believe it? No. Because he knows that love is there. In the case of Anjali she had always felt the absence of strong parental affection. The words she heard simply confirmed them.

I am not saying Brigadier does not love his daughter. There is obviously some filial affection but the sort of strong love and concern which is a child's natural right is not there.

Edited by Poluk - 11 years ago

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ananya2000

@ananya2000

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

very nice post anjali's dad not hate her...but...

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-silentbang-

@-silentbang-

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

nice post...but i think he cares for her but does not love her...
he cares for her and sometimes agrees to her wishes when his wife insists...i agree that he doesn't hate her but it is not love either... and his basis of not loving his kid just because kid is a girl is something beyond my understanding...
though i am loving this expedition but i am not liking the reason behind anjali's expedition...a child just don't need to do a certain thing to prove his love for his parents ...

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arsha_simran

@arsha_simran

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Yes dear u are right...
He doesn't actually hate her because she is a girl...
He doesn't hate her coz she was born.. The problem was after her they couldn't have child..
I remember seeing something like this...
Maybe if they could have a child after anjali he wouldn't hate her...
He never tried knowing the ability of his daughter...
He thought only his son can fulfil his dream may be that's why he is upset he is sad...
You know when things don't happen your way it irks you.. Same is with anjali's father...
He doesn't really hate her it's just that he never tried liking her or knowing her...
He just knows the basic things any parent would know but the deep emotion of his daughter he never tried knowing it..
He has a soft corner for her which won't come out because he feels his dream won't be fulfilled...
Because his dream irks him and has made him like that...
Because of the soft corner he was going to bless anjali.. But stopped remembering that it is a daughter not a son...
He loves her which he hasn't realised and he wouldn't if anjali wouldn't go on the expedition.. After coming bal from expedition I am sure he will let out all the feelings and emotions he had hid for her...

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peeyara

@peeyara

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

He dont express his love for her

no parent would be so stone-hearted

may be he dont love her the way it is expected but he does care for her n for me

CARE=LOVE

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Munni

@munnihyderabad

Trailblazer

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#10

Awesome topic Sam 👏

Hate is a very big word, which is definitely not applicable here at all.

In a way, by keeping himself away from her, he is not punishing her alone, but he is punishing himself. No parent ever can be at peace when he/she cannot freely express their feelings for their kids

that scene when Anjali takes Aashirwad from her dad was heart touching, more so to see a dad's natural reaction of putting his hand on her head, but then restraining himself, it takes a lot to restrain yourself from blessing your kid, he may not caress her cheeks or smile at her or pamper her, but that little gesture of his hand on her head showed the other side of a dad,

As you mentioned, he never stopped her from doing anything, like giving her permission to attend friends wedding for a month, was a huge thing, he agreed after convincing, that was a typical dad type, nothing

He never restricted or put a tab on her dressing or her education or travelling or going out and hanging around with friends, he kept himself away from her, like for the award, he didn't go, but he didn't stop her from going either nor dud he put any restriction to her further studies ... but always allowed her to do what she wanted to with little assurance and convincing which only reflects the care, concern and love (unexpressed or hidden) of a father for his kid.

the main thing here is lack of communication and time spent between father daughter, dad doesn't know his daughter, because they never communicated, even if they did there was no transparency. .

Not all parents say I love you to their kids, there are many girls in many families where they are scared to talk to their dad unless otherwise it's answer to their question and that definitely doesn't mean they don't love their daughters, it's just that they don't show.

I can see where he is coming from with the rushed marriage, firstly he doesn't know about what Anjali is doing, or her aims or her likes and dislikes or her, and then like any father, he wants the best guy for his daughter, he knows Vidhaan and his father and trust me, no dad would like to let go of a perfect relation for their girl. This is what he is doing here.

Here with Mr.Rawat, it's more profound because, his distance from Anjali is correlated and tied up to not having a son.,

The one which you don't have with you affects you much more than the one you have in front of you .Mr. Rawat is more upset for not having a son, than having a daughter, if that makes sense.

Hopefully Mr.Rawat's other side can be revealed when Anjali is climbing the peak Everest.

Edited by munnihyderabad - 11 years ago

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Anjali & her father - there is LOVE.

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