Hello Everyone,
A random thought, that I decided to pen down... in the form of a short story...
Thought would share it with y'all.
This one is specially dedicated to a dear friend Priya (apapap). Hope you like it Priya!!
Criticism awaited...đ
-Sareeta
Promise Of The Eclipse
The sound of his footsteps , faded into the deafening silence of the corridor as he walked down ... towards the room....where now lay... pieces of a ... shattered , unspoken dream...
Sprawled on the lawn ... overlooking the lake... as the crimson sun waved a goodbye... through the grey clouds... she had asked.." Hey... you know... tumne kabhi eclipse dekha hai..."...
Lost in his evening newspaper... sitting right beside her...his legs stretched and crossed... sipping his mocha... without lifting his head... he answered..." Nahin... "... when she had added in a detached tone...not particularly paying attention to his answer..."Socho...agar kal subah ... agar eclipse ho gaya tho... suddenly... kachaak.. sab dark... jus like that... "... the last few words catching his attention... as he continued staring at his paper... not taking in anything that was written....it was the tone... she was lost in another world... the depth of thought...suddenly evident...and jus as quickly shifting to a lighter tone..." ... everything jus ends...hamaari zindagi bhi..."... her voice trailed off... when suddenly.. turning to face him... she spoke in a voice , as though she was staging a play.... "jeevan ka eclipse... " and burst into laughter... attempting to scare him... which only amused... him...
Smacking her on the head lightly... "Shut up... "... he dismissed her lightly... turning to look at her.. and then jus as quickly got back to his paper....unable to brush the heavy feeling in heart... and quickly turned to look at her... who had once again got back to her writing... scribbling on the tissue paper... that she had snatched from him....at the coffee shop..." Oh... I need that..." .. she had blurted ...
It had always been the same... she would begin writing anywhere , the place and time didnt matter..... and he was at her mercy to find her a pen and something to write on..... when she announced randomly that she had to pen down something....
It had amazed him... how she mananged to actually pen down thoughts... on situations and things ... that seemed so normal ... and routine...
The clock on the wall at the far end of the corridor chimed thrice.. annoucing it was three o clock in the afternoon, jerking him out of his thoughts...
Slowly shifting his gaze to the entrance to a room a few steps ahead to his left... he stopped... looking back at the clock... Three o clock...the clock informed... the seconds ticking away in silence...
A heavy feeling setting deep in his heart... his knees gave away... as he struggled to hold on to the wall... tears jerking out of his tired eyes... as he slumped to the floor...sobbing silently.. as every inch of his body shivered..with pain..
After what seemed endless silent moments...running his palm over his face wiping the tears, he pulled himself together and up and slowly made his way... to the entrance... unable to bring himself to look inside...to face the truth...
..."Hey sambhalke... "... he had tried to warn.. when she tripped over a garden pot.. and managed to pull herself up jus in time...
"Am ok... dont worry... " she dismissed... joining him... " You know.. I am accident prone.. ".. she giggled... "so no point worrying... "
His thoughts had drifted..
He now managed to bring himself to turn around to stand at entrance of the room...
Afore him... wound in medical paraphernalia.. lay the limp body of the young girl... whom he had seen ... transform into the beautiful woman.. who had given life to his dreams...
"Safed nahin.... Shweth bolo... its purity...."... she had always corrected him... she had a particular... aversion to a few words..he had never understood... but now as he watched the room afore him... he seemed to know ... why... and in that one moment... an intense... despisable feeling erupted within him for the word... "Safed..."... he knew he would hate.. it... from now on... forever...
Every muscle , aching with pain... his burdened heart drowning in pain... he willed himself.. to step in.. to the room... walking towards the metallic bed.. on which lay... his dream... a shattered reminder , of what lay ahead... a bleak.. cold winter... that would last his lifetime...
As the thought crossed his mind, he shut his eyes in pain... as a lone tear escaped the corner of his eye...
Walking over to the bed... he gingerly placed.. his palm on the cold railing of the bed... looking over at the calm... face of the young woman...
She looked calm... even now... a strange peaceful feeling that emanated from her soft features...
She was smiling ... he thought... always... it had appeared that the smile had never left her face... lingering on her lips... as it was now...
She was asleep ... she was tired... she was waiting... she was fighting... she ... was ... ill... the word .. pierced through his heart... as tears jerked out of his tired... puffed eyes...
Her giggles ... the tingle in her voice... echoed in the silence of the room....as he stood... watching her limp body...
..." Aur pata hai... mujhe pata nahin chala.. ki wo mujhse baat kar rahe the..."....she giggled ...." Paaagal..."..."kuch bhi sochti rehti ho.."... he added smiling..."haan.. actually pata hai.. main unke kurte pe ... kavita likh rahi thi.."..."Kya..?"... he laughed ... teasingly.. his tone mixed with surprise....."Kurte par..".. he laughed ... again...knowing very well.. it wasnt the kurta she was writing on... but about the little girl ... walking around serving tea in the rain...at the coffee shop...
He had known her enough to realize... that beneath her bubbly deamenor... was a sensitive soul... that was perceptive and tapped on feelings that were far from palpable.. for the others.. or as she called them... "The normal people..." to which he had retorted smiling.."Aur tum kya ho..."... "I am creep .. I am a wierdo...".. she hummed the song... one she loved to hum... a song by her fav music group Radiohead...always... that at times... would linger in his head.... long after she had left...
Shaking his head...smiling to himself.. with a expression of... "She'll never change..."... he had got back to reading his paper...
He walked around the corner of the bed... towards her..taking the scene.. her limp body lying there caught amidst medical paraphernalia...her slight rhythmic breathing... with the aid of the respiratory support... her slender hands..that lay limp ... on her side...
He noticed her fingers.. the index finger and the thumb joint even as she lay there asleep... she had always... held them that way... she was thinking... thinking even now... he sensed it...
It tugged at his heart... the thin strand of hair that fell across her forehead... he had loved it .. for it gave her face a soft vulnerable glow...
The call had stirred him out of his sleep... "Shiv..."....the panic striken voice.. on the other end had continued... " She has had an accident..."...
Even without hearing further... he knew ... it wasnt good... and he knew who it was....
He hadnt heard from her... for months... it was her way... he knew her... She had always... come back... home...
But this time... it was different... and for the first time in his life... he dreaded ...the moment... he wished ... she hadnt ... she was supposed to be on her tour....
"Panchi...".. .. "Kitni khoobsurat hai inki duniya..." .. "bas udthe raho... duniya dekho..."... "Door... aasmaanon mein...".. her voice trailed off...
"Tum bhi tho ho ek... panchi se kuch kam nahin... bina pankhon ke... "... he smiled..."ghoomthi phirti ho... "...he smiled understandingly... as she smiled... back... resting her head on his shoulder watching the sunset..."haan..."... "Accha lagta hai..."...closing her eyes... as she drifted away into sleep...as he smiled to himself...and got back to reading his paper...
"Pehle Main... Me first..."... he saw the message pop on his screen... as soon as he logged on...and seeing the message smiled... she had reached office...and quickly typing a reply... went on with his chores...
It was routine... that they pinged each other , checking who reached office first... It never appeared silly... she never made it seem silly... he loved the way she giggled... when she announced she was first...to get to work... and he knew he never wanted to be first... lest he miss the giggle... the tingle of her laughter...
Lost in the memories of the past.. he jerked to reality ... when he noticed... a slight movement ...afore him...
Opening her eyes weakly... she tried to focus...when she noticed his hazy figure....as he bent down ... to talk to her...
A low, strained ... weak voice... that had the unmistakable... spark of her spirit.... that said..."Pehle main..."...
The voice... the words... it shattered him.... as a searing pain tore through him... leaving a bleeding heart... as tears dripped down his cheeks... as he placed his palm gently over hers...
It wasnt her turn... it was not meant to be... he wanted to change it...
Words failed him... She was first this time... he knew it... but he knew he wanted it to be different this time...
Her face was tired... weak.. the drugs taking effect on her skin... that was now pale... yet ... the pale glow... lingering on her soft features...
He looked her in the eye... he wanted to know what she wanted to say... jus as she had understood his silence...always
"Uff.. you are such a ... Oh god... bina kahe tum kuch nahin samajhte..."..."I am a Man...Gauri.." he had answered with an attitude ... teasing her..." you need to be clear and specificwhen you are talking to us Men..."... when she retorted..." yeah... coz you are a confused lot..."...she smirked...
"Sensitive hone ka kya faida.. dikhana bhi tho chahiye..."... she had always told him..."Samjhte ho.. tho jatana bhi chaahiye..."...her voice was ringing in his ears...
He whispered to her... as she closed her eyes... drifting away...into sleep..."Main samajh nahin paa raha... yeh sab...main... mujhe samjhaao Gauri..."... "baat karo mujhse..."... he rested his palm over hers ... "Gauri..."...his voice trailed away into silence...as the low hum...of the medical instrument beside him... broke into the silence..
"Pata hai... log tapakne ke baad....taare ban jaate.. hai..." she said lazily.... perched on the bean bag in his room... staring out of the window , at the dusky sky... giving away to the dark night and the first stars of the evening shone bright .. in the sky...as he sat next to her...fiddling with a remote... flipping through the channels... on the television...
Hearing her... he let out an amused laugh... when she replied..."Sach hai... ".. conviction evident in her tone...when he laughed a little louder...and turning around.. the television not holding his interest anymore..." kahaan se sunti ho tum ye sab.." he asked amused..." yaad nahin... par sach hai..." she drawled... staring at a particularly bright shining star...
He sat there watching her stare at the star... wondering...how she believed in things... that seemed to have no logical explanation... but deep down he knew... she jus did.. and no one could convince her otherwise...
The machine monitoring her heart rate beeped shrilly.. tearing through the silence...jerking him into his senses...
Turning around, he tried to comprehend the sudden disruption as a deep sinking feeling crept through his being... leaving him shaking ...as his hand shivered over hers...and he turned to look at her pale calm face...a tear lurking in the corner of his eye... his heart feeling heavy... and caught in his chest...as he gripped her palm... hoping in desperation for her to open her eyes....
The machine beeped louder... as he willed himself to let go of her hand and pull himself up... and managing to turn away from her ... he rushed out of the room... his noetic senses guiding him...
"Main.. sirf tara bankar nahin rahoongi.. main... subah.. Suraj bhai ke saath utkar... sabko... good morning boloongi..."... she laughed... "after all there are advantages of seeing different worlds arent there..."... she asked him... unaware that she was seeming close to insane to any person who believed in logical explanations...to all that existed....and to him as well...
"Aadhi nahin poori paagal ho tum... "...he looked at her smiling in disbelief.. at what she was suggesting... and amused at the same..."Ye lo... " he finished .. handing her a burger...
Taking a bite of the burger... she spoke with her mouthful..."Aur main na waapas aake dekhoongi ki sab log mere baare kya soch rahe hai.. mere tapakne ke baad..."...
"Shut up..."... he cut her...
"And you better think nice things about me... awwwright... warna.." she continued not paying attention...and made a gesture with her hands.. as though strangling him... with the burger dripping with cheese in one hand...and she quickly taking another bite...got back to her star staring...
"But it would be cool eh..?"... she continued ... lost in her world..." to be back from the heavens and watch what other thought of you and all the baddies get a smack then from me..." she laughed loud at her own thought...as he watched... amused... surprised.. and slowly getting up...walked past her..to the bookshelf.. smacking her on the head with the remote...
Her breathing had become erratic... as her limp jerked now in pain... her face... pale...
The angels of god.. as she called them... crowded around her ... saving her , her breaths.. willing her to fight...their magic waning in the surrounding metallic cacophony... as he stood watching... watching her face... as it dawned on him..... she was not fighting... she wasnt at all.... she seemed to have given up... surrendered..as she liked to call it...her love of words.. had always been something that had drawn his attention...
It seemed to him... she was now waiting... waiting for ... it all to end...
"Ladne se kya faida...bas jo hona hai hoga...sab Bhaggu dekhenge... ".... she would tell him..." mujhe nahin ladna... no way...too much stress... ".. she shrugged... sipping into her mocha...
She called the almighty Bhaggu...and it seemed to him... she shared a deeper ... surreal connection with the man above... that even as she addressed him as Bhaggu... it made... her special bond... with him ...only seem stronger and deeper...
"Wo Bhaggu Ji aur mere beech mein deal hai..."..."Private and confidential..." she would brush him off... teasingly... when she was asked questions as to how she believed in things that were seemingly unbelievable...
On the spur.. as the thought struck him... he rushed to her side... as the angels of god.. made way for him... "Lado... .." he jerked..her ... his voice pained... "lado... " he pleaded... "Damn it ... fight..."... he jerked her.. as her body lay limp....the breathing getting fainter... the beep of the monitor seeming louder in the sudden silence of realization of the evident....as he pleaded to her..."Lado...".. endlessly...
Standing on the terrace of his home..overlooking the marine drive... they watched the sun go down... into the ocean... leaving a crimson glow lingering in the sky... when she suddenly leaned her head against his shoulder..her hands in her back pocket... the cool evening summer breeze... blowing through her hair...
"Dard ho raha hai... " he asked .. with concern... staring at the horizon... and slowly turning his head to see her resting her head on his shoulder... and looking ahead again... continued..." chalo.. "...turning slowly... when she turned stopping him midway and rested her head on his chest... holding on to his sleeve... closing her eyes... when he slowly ran his hand over her head...and at the very moment he knew... he was incomplete... without...... Her.."...
She was a chronic asthamatic... and she had a reckless attitude to her weakness ... but yet in moments of pain... she had in her own..way... sought his company... to jus be... with him... it hadnt mattered... then.. the pain.. the torture of an ailing body...
As he hugged her gently... she held his sleeve in tighter grip as he became aware... of her intense pain... and whispered... "Ghar chod deta hoon...."....when she turning and burying her face in his chest..said..."This is home..."... the words were almost inaudible...to him... but yet he knew he had heard her right... He was family to her... and he had begun to realize it...
"Ghar chalte hai chalo ... "... "Utho Gauri..."... he pleaded...as she lay there unconcious... her body limp...
"You are one lucky man... "... she called out to him in the kitchen...suddenly... " and why is that Panchi..."... he smiled back... "Coz you got me... for a buddy... handsome...." she laughed...
He smiled to himself.... he knew what she said was true... he was indeed a lucky man..
She had always done that... she would say and do things on a spur that had left him... dazed and startled... and often ... her careless compliments... left him dizzyingly ecstatic...
Lying on the kitchen table... scribbled on a tissue was -
Unto the darkness afore
I shall surrender...
Into the realms
Of the world beyond...
I shall tread...
Fear not , I shall ..
The eclipse...
For promise of eternity...
Holds the eclipse...
Picking up the tissue , he read it ... with his messy hands and realized... it was one of her random lines... that she penned and shaking his head in knowing reality ... that she must have penned them while at the coffee shop... and left the paper around carelessly... he carefully removed the creases and stuck it on the refrigerator... with a red magnet... red.. her favourite color... and he smiled.. at the different dimensions and directions .. her mind wandered off in... ever so often....
The lines she had penned... floated into his mind... " the eclipse..".. he remembered... as he continued jerking her... now whispering incessantly.. "Chalo ... Lado...Lado...Please Lado..."...
The eclipse.... the darkness... the gloom... the long gloomy winter that awaited... it was all falling into place... she had written... about it... she believed in signs... she always had...
He shivered with fear.... "it can 't be..." he told himself...the way it all connected... it unnerved him... the glaring truth of it all... the cruel possibility...
"Gauri... wo sach nahin ho sakta ... tumhara wehem tha.... utho... Gauri... "... "Gauri.... Utho....."... he pleaded....repeatedly...
"Main samajh nahin paaya Gauri... Gauri... main aa gaya hoon... please.. Utho..."...he pleaded... " mat jao.. please... "..."main aa gaya Gauri... ".... "utho..."... he pleaded... sobbing now...
"Aur ab tumhe dar nahin lag raha ...?"..."Tum ho na..."... she had replied.. promptly... nodding her head on his shoulder...
".... Always .... nahin Forever bolo...."....she had corrected..."Off ho... accha ok... Forever... theek hai..."...
"...Birdie... sambhaalke ... "..."haan theek hai... tum hoge tho wahaan..."..she had called out... confidently...
Moments of their times togetherness... loomed afore him... as he grappled to hold on to them... to her... as they stood a stark reminder... of what was to be ...shattered remains...of all that was to be... that could have been...
"Shaam ke aasmaan mein sabse pehle taare se jo bhi maango .. sach hota hai... ".. her voice echoed in his head...
Holding his sobs suddenly... wiping his tears... he ran..across the room ... to window... as he searched the dull grey evening sky for the first lone star....
It was his hope.. his last hope...he hoped desperately... his blurry eyes... searching for his ray of hope... glancing back at the pale figure on the bed... helplessly...
A lone star shone ... as a dark cloud.. drifted past... in the evening sky...
Desperately... his shut eyes..."Use kabhi mujhse juda mat karna... please... Dont let her leave..."....
"Hey Birdie... stop it yaar..." he laughed... "chod de yaar...."..."Nahin... kabhi nahin... "... she laughed back... hugging him tightly momentarily ...when he felt.. a calming sense... that was strangely exhilarating ...it was one of her on the spur reactions.. when she quickly added ... in a merciful tone... "Accha ... paanch minute...I can't be late... ".."Birdie.. its a kiddo movie..."... "Oh puhleez... you have no taste... now jus take me to the theatre.. pleaaaaaaaaaaaaasee... accha.. jaldi karo... now go......"... she ordered sweetly.. and walked out into the lawn... swirling her pen... with her fingers...
He smiled at the thought now... she had loved watching fairy tales and cartoons and her latest obsession being the Harry Potter series.. she was total maniac when it came to magic... and he could never, despite his sincere attempts never understand her obsession with them....
He stared at the sky... "Bhaggu ji.. meri baat samajhte hai... tumhaari nahin... ok...".. her teasing voice... echoed....
"Aaj please meri baat samjhiye... Please... I ...I.."... he hung his head low... as he let himself.. go.. sobbing hard..."I need her... Baba..." he whispered ... to himself... to the man above... in between his stiffled sobs...
Walking back to the bed... he leaned over her... watching her asleep... and whispered ... "Birdie.."...
She had loved when he called her that.... he had always sensed it... she had never mentioned it... but it amazed him... how she let him know about it... "You jus know...sometimes..." she'd say...often...and he had known... too....
They had connected in ways... that were beyond explanation... and knowing her.. he knew... it mattered to her... him being there and nothing beyond...
He held his breath... as her eyebrows twitched...when she slowly.. opened her eyes....
A faint smile... spreading on his lips..."Birdie..." he repeated... as she focussed her eyes on him...
A faint flicker of smile... appeared on her face...as every muscle that moved sent a searing pain through her fragile body... that lay battered now...
She was a brave girl.. he had always believed that... she would try to never let him know her pain... but she couldnt never manage it... for her eyes had always given away... jus as they did now...
Her lips quivered...as he held his face close... looking her in the eye... the pain evident...in their eyes... as their hearts spoke in silence.. when she slowly... managed..to breathe the words out..."pehle main.....".... and after a long pause...."me first..".... as he watched her... without moving a muscle... tears running down his cheek...
Pulling himself together as he watched her smile weakly... he said slowly... "Nahin...birdie... koi pehle... nahin... dono saath mein...Hamesha... "..."Birdie.." he blurted... watching her close her eyes.. drifting into sleep...."Birdie... suno... utho... you aint going no where ..."..."Listen to me... dammit... Birdie..."... he called out... his voice louder... and desperate..as she jerked her eyes open weakly... as the drugs... cast their effect ...lulling her into painless sleep...."Gauri..."... his voice was demanding... "Get up... listen to me... Gauri... listen to me..."...
"Dont call me that... Call me Pari..."... she had corrected..him with an air of mock attitude... suppressing a giggle...
"Such a lovely name... and you dont like it.."...he asked.. surprised...
"Hey Bhaggu... that is so holy... and I aint thaaaaat....holy.." she drawled..."Mom bhi na... aur koi naam nahin sujhaa kya...Oh well....".... " You see...I am a Pari...buddy... an Angel... jisne tumhaari is duniya ko khoobsurat bana diya hai...so you see , you are lucky... and ... oh yeah blessed... you silly mortal.."...she finished ... rolling her eyes... looking around the room.... when... he burst out lauging... "Birdie.. oh sorry... Pari.. ji... since when did you get this tapori re..."... he laughed... heartily..."seriously... that was ...."... he howled with laughter..." cheeky..."...
"Oh shut up..." she dismissed him... "Maine tumhaara ye sada hua kamra clean kiya tha...aur jahaan tak main jaanti hoon... tumhaari duniya mein do hi acchi cheezen hai... Main aur tumhaari akal..."...she laughed... " and this kamra is mehkaoofying coz of me... handsome... so like it or not... I am your Pari... har cheez ke liye..."... and with a swish of her hair.. she turned around.. swirling her pen with her fingers... made her way out into the lawn...
Watching her ... he wondered if she had realized what she had said... it had appeared to him... she said.. things often with such effortless ease and simplicity... that made the deepest of emotions seem easy and heartfelt... leaving a lingering essence of ecstasy... longer after she had said them...
Gently pulling her into his arms... overcome by a sudden urge to hold her close... he held her... gently... as she rested her head on his shoulder... as he felt the dull rhytm of her breathing on his chest...
As he sat there on the bed... holding her in his embrace... as she held on to her breaths... he felt her grip tighten over his sleeve... she was in pain... he knew instantly...
Pulling her away slightly from his embrace... never letting her go... he caressed her cheek... "Birdie...doctor ko bulaaoon..." he asked softly... a voice deeper within... echoing loud and clear ... it was in vain... as he watched her helplessly... slipping away...
A slight nod of head in negetive... and a blink of an eye was all she could manage... before she breathed out ...."tumhaare saath..."... she swallowed in pain..."hameshaa..."... every word seeming an effort... as she struggled to breathe painlessly... "Pari..."...her voice ... traling away... the pain tearing through her as her grip tightened over his sleeve.... and for the first time... he seemed to know... what she was saying... even as she stuggled to utter the words... and the realization ... drowning him in pain... pain of seperation ....
"There is no me ... without ... "... his voice choked,... " you..."... "Birdie... dont.. go..."... he spoke softly... in his choking voice...to her ... as she rested her head on his chest..him holding her close...in a tighter embrace....glancing at her...ever so often....feeling the dull rhythm of her breathing on his chest...
Holding her in his embrace... he let his thoughts drift... as the dull night cast its spell... drifting him into sleep... as she lay weak and asleep in his embrace...
Moments passed in silence... as the two souls... bound by the ties of eternity... whispered to each other..."You Complete Me..."...
A movement over his chest...as she struggled to lift her head to see him.. jerked him awake...
"Kya hua..."... he looked at her...
In a strange ... but clear voice... that sapped her off , all her energy... she said softly... lifting her hand... to touch his face.. his cheek... and resting her hand on his chest... she smiled at him..."I am home..."... as he smiled back... and gently leaning over kissed her forehead...taking her back into his embrace...as she held on to his sleeve... jus as she always had...
"Nahin... kabhi nahin..."...her voice echoed as he sat there with her in his arms...... She would never leave him...
As he watched her sleeping form... in his arms....he realized... he felt the dull rhythm... of her breathing no more...
"Nahin... kabhi nahin..."...his voice echoed inside his head... he would never see her again... only.. feel her.. everywhere... everyday... every waking moment... in his every breath...
"There is no never... only forever..."... her face had been glowing as she smiled... her fingers playing with her pen..."Cool na..."... she finished ... giggling...
"There is only Forever.." he whispered to himself...as he lay her limp body on the bed... kissing her on her forehead as a tear trickled down his face on to her cheek..... he whispered..."There is only Forever..."
Endure the dark of the eclipse shall thee, to revel in the glory of the promise of forever... the promise of the eclipse...of togetherness and eternity...
-Sareeta
Naagin 7
Cricket
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