Bahu, Bhabi - Durga became these without being a doormat

shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#1
I know many people are pissed of why concern for Kangana which Durga didn't had for Payal. Please don't tell Durga didn't had concern for Payal. Yes she was more into getting revenge. But she was also threading a narrow path trying to conceal her true identity at the same time taking care of her sister. Understand that as a NGO or a social worker she has to keep a certain level of detachement so that people don't get overly suspicious. Irrespective of the detachment Sakshi and Dev were able to decode her special bonding with Payal. So to complete her mission she has to have that detachment with her sister. Not only with sister she is having that detachment with everyone concerned. Even with Dayal or with Dev. She never let her emotions out of control or her sight out of mission for anything. Yes it is a personal war for her as she has to assuage her guilty conscious as she was responsible for her sister's condition.
But one thing I have to give for EHT CVs is to show that a woman can be a bahu and bhabi without being a door mat. I as a person is not against showing a married woman or her relationship with her in laws. But what I could never agree is to the fact that a married woman has to be a slave to her husband's family and to get acceptance she has to bear all the insults thrown at her and her MIL or SIL and even then continue to serve them. They will never appreciate her even for once.
As far as Durga goes for Suchitra's acceptance or Kangana's acceptance we didn't see her crying or begging or doing things that she should not be doing. At no point Durga lose her self respect to gain respect. When trying to get Dev out she was completely in charge. She went to get him out as his best friend not as Suchitra's bahu. She didn't even hesitate to tell her MIL what method she deployed to get Dev out. Her confidence was the thing that made Suchitra come out of the shell and stand up for herself thus cutting Dev's apron strings.
Coming to Kangana. Durga was not shown begging in front of Kangana please listen to me. Come I want to save your life. Instead she challenged her nanad to prove her wrong. If she is wrong she will walk out from the house. I don't think a woman in telly world has that courage that she will walk out from her in laws house if proved wrong. But Durga told and bought Kangana to the farm house. And whatever happened after that we know she won. Kangana called her bhabi from the heart. Apologized from the heart. The girl who had come to throw out her bhabi was seen not only reconciling with her but in precap also becoming a part of her bhabi's plan.
I have always believed relations needs to be worked out. There has to be give and take in them and no relation is worth maintaining losing your self respect. In that way I applaud Durga for getting her relations without losing self respect 👏👏👏👏
It is time telly shows showed woman with self respect maintaining relations. Instead of bowing down to wrong notions in the name of family, let the lead lady show the light to other female members to stand up for themselves without being a door mat.

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MJ_1009 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#2
^nice TM. i agree durga standing up to what she believes in makes her a strong willed person...
shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#3
@Meena and this is exactly the reason the show is wrapping up also because people cannot take this persona. Instead of a bahu listening to the whims and fancies of in laws , her conviction giving voice to the MIL and SIL does not seem to go right with the TRP audience. Though I don't know who the TRP audience is as my mom who is in her early sixties very much enjoy and appreciate the show.
MJ_1009 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#4
^yes...idk why shows with new concepts end early then those that show old saas bahu drama run so long..
642126 thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#5
Well I disagree on detachment part. Was het overlooking Payal's security and only thinking about threats to herself okay? That lapse can never be excused. Durga was never controlled. Sorry but she got carried away seeing each Goenka. Her weakness made her reveal Payal's residence to Dev. Rather selfishness.
She has done what she deemed fit at any point. Never wondered what Payal needed.

Her fights with Sakshi show her uncontrolled anger. She didn't hesitate even before Suchitra.

I entirely doubt her emotional cover, control and detachment.

She was way more than just a biz partner with Goenkas. But had to be detached from Payal?

NGO workers bond more than business partners at least. In fact her crazy attachment made Goenkas reach Payal. Her remaining away cannot be excused as detachment.

That said, bahu thing is just a trope here. She was initially a doormat, bearing Dev's anger, going hungry for him, taking his outbursts silently. Only when she saved him did Suchitra and Dev give her freedom to be, and since they had suffered at hands of other Goenkas so they rather joined her in fighting them. It's not to her credit.

In no way is her concern for Kangana to this level, and ignorance of Payal to this extent justified.

Kangana was willingly with Karan. And was never going to be actually married to him or harmed. So Durga going all out was just a way to show off bahugiri.

As for self respect, in a way, she did lose it by playing rishta shaadi mangni with 3 boys.

She was humiliated even by a wheelchair bound devar and is now going to suffer rape attempt.

This is doormat only. Not entirely a bahu who had head held high.
Remya77 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#6
Yes I compleltely agree with Anu's point of view.. I am not so good at expressing through writing. Even now I don't understand her over concern for Kangana and her marriage. Yes one should be concerned. But not that she doesn't have other serious things to do.. It could have been a sub plot of foiling Karan's fake image. It appeared as if her concern for Kangana is more than any thing else. Had it been shown that as a part of giving punishment to Karan and his friends for the injustice met towards payal, his real face came out in the open and making Kangana witness to do that would have been better. This looked as if karan was exposed so that the marriage with Kangana is stopped. And I really do not feel that taking Kangana as a partner was the right thing to do. You have exposed Karan. She will decide the remaining. Kangana is like water. Takes shape in the form of vessel it has been poured to. She herself admitted that she is a dumb. Durga should not trust such soft hearted souls in her revenge. It is a do or die situation and in no way Durga can take a chance.
Durga has not been detached. She has been partially successful. Right now she doesnt have to make much effort with Dev as he himself is adjusting to her game plan as he knows her identity. Other wise her emotional turmoil was at its peak... In the whole scenario, Why is payal neglected? Atleast we hear Dayal visiting her. When Dayal& Durga have now come out in the open against Goenka's is it not required for them to check and rethink their strategy on payal's safety? Atleast they must shown to have shifted her under the scrutiny of Akash/Akram. This would have atleast made some sense.

Sorry for being out of topic. Just typed whatever came to my mind now..

Remya
shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#7
@Anu I am not telling she didn't make any mistake. She had her share of mistakes. But doormat I disagree. Even though Dev was angry with her, she was going about doing what she intended to do. She did drove him mad. She did bring him home from Nithya's place threatening she will cancel the deal. Actually he had no control over her and he was also doing things told by her though disgruntled. Yes she remained hungry for him. But he had told he will not come to break the fast but had to come forced by Suchitra. Suchitra also took her before and spoke to Shaurya that the new relation needs to be respected. Though Suchitra came completely to her side post Dev's arrest even before that the above instances say Suchitra was standing by her side making her son accountable for what he has done.
Durga had used everyone of her ally only difference from Sakshi is that she did it in a way that will assuage her conscience. Dev was used by her to enter GM. After gaining trust of Suchitra she did use her to bring down Raj and now Kangana. She didn't take down Karan just exposed truth in front of Kangana. Now she is gonna use her to further her cause.
How did she lose self respect in rishta shaadi mangli. Did she beg in front of any boy to marry her. No. She arranged a fake engagement. It was Shaurya who tried to commit suicide for her sake and she agreed to marry him. Then again it was Shaurya who rejected her and it was Dev who told he will marry her for whatever deal Dayal cut with him.
Actually Shaurya and Dev lose their self respect in the whole shaadi maangli scenario. Shaurya for trying to commit suicide and Dev who was walking out telling he wont marry and makes a decision change.
Edited by shruthiravi - 10 years ago
642126 thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#8
Payal always suffered due to Nitya/Durga's uncontrolled anger, ignorance and provoking Goenkas. She used Payal as she wished. Exposed her to Shaurya and sent her screaming. Was happily in US for 2 years instead of visiting India at once to know about Payal. Took risk with her safety by exposing her to Dev. Ignores her, herself.
Compared to such epic neglect of poor Payal, her concern for Kangana is a shame and hypocrisy.

Payal was raped also thanks to Nitya's misjudgement, fight with Shaurya and ignorance.

Durga was honourable in my eyes only for her bond with Payal. Otherwise not bothered for a girl fighting her own ego clashes.

The neglect of Payal to play lover lover with Dev, bahu bahu with Suchitra and bhabhi bhabhi with Kangana is the greatest failing of this show and Durga as a character.

In fact even Dayal often ignored her, her cause, prevented Durga from thinking about her, merely wanted Durga to enjoy with Dev and forget everything else. He keeps giving Durga advice to handle Suchitra. Never once saw him advice her on her duties as elder sister and sole family of hers.

#EPICFAIL

Payal has been treated so shabbily that concern of us as audience is a given!
642126 thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#9
Shruti
Why bring Sakshi here? She is not relevant.

Point is that Durga took BS from Dev silently. What did she do? He got into trouble soon enough. She then saved him.

Girls who play around with 3 boys. What respect they have in Indian society is well known. A self respecting girl doesn't do what she did.

Edited to add:
Durga is firstly not doing anything on her own. She is backed by a damn powerful and rich benefactor who was a major business partner for Goenkas. She married Dev by having Dayal blackmail him on his biggest weakness. Dev could not have backed out anyway.
Others have no backing or luxury of blackmailing a man or having a dheela man, they have no family support, so they become doormats. Her marriage was a sham to her, she was doing rasams reluctantly or avoiding them, she wanted to leave after doing her job. So how is she a bahu or bhabhi in true sense?
She has never been on her own. Even her bachao acts are done with Dayal. Neither was she ever in predicament as bahu. Never had to choose dilemma of revenge or family since CVs showed Suchitra's change of heart soon.
Therefore I do not see anything special in her being bahu or bhabhi without being doormat. She is nothing without leeching off Dayal.
Edited by atominis - 10 years ago
Dharanija thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: atominis

Well I disagree on detachment part. Was het overlooking Payal's security and only thinking about threats to herself okay? That lapse can never be excused. Durga was never controlled. Sorry but she got carried away seeing each Goenka. Her weakness made her reveal Payal's residence to Dev. Rather selfishness.

She has done what she deemed fit at any point. Never wondered what Payal needed.

Her fights with Sakshi show her uncontrolled anger. She didn't hesitate even before Suchitra.

I entirely doubt her emotional cover, control and detachment.

She was way more than just a biz partner with Goenkas. But had to be detached from Payal?

NGO workers bond more than business partners at least. In fact her crazy attachment made Goenkas reach Payal. Her remaining away cannot be excused as detachment.

That said, bahu thing is just a trope here. She was initially a doormat, bearing Dev's anger, going hungry for him, taking his outbursts silently. Only when she saved him did Suchitra and Dev give her freedom to be, and since they had suffered at hands of other Goenkas so they rather joined her in fighting them. It's not to her credit.

In no way is her concern for Kangana to this level, and ignorance of Payal to this extent justified.

Kangana was willingly with Karan. And was never going to be actually married to him or harmed. So Durga going all out was just a way to show off bahugiri.

As for self respect, in a way, she did lose it by playing rishta shaadi mangni with 3 boys.

She was humiliated even by a wheelchair bound devar and is now going to suffer rape attempt.

This is doormat only. Not entirely a bahu who had head held high.

very well said! 👏

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