Notes from the Past: 2
March 2002, Siri Fort Sports Complex, New Delhi
Khushi looked around for Lavanya, but she was nowhere to be seen. She had been away for just ten minutes, leaving behind a sobbing Lavanya to go and collect her medals. And now she was gone. They were at the North Zone Track and Field Trials all day. Athletes from all across the North Indian states and union territories were competing. The top three in each event were of course awarded medals, but the top six would qualify for the National Meet that was to take place in August in Hyderabad. All of them had been training for the last ten months towards securing a spot in this event. Khushi qualified in the 100m and 400m races, securing the third spot in both events. She also qualified in the triathlon by a last second spurt that saw her finish on the sixth spot, edging past Lavanya. This effectively sealed Lavanya's fate and she would not be able to compete on any of the events at the Nationals. Of course, Lavanya was disappointed. Anyone would be. But Khushi had not expected Lavanya to burst into tears, sob noisily, her body shaking and her heart breaking.
"It is okay, Lavanya," she rubbed her back hoping to calm her down, "It is okay. There will be other chances."
But Lavanya was inconsolable. Being an athlete, you are prepared for your share of disappointments and Khushi had always assumed that Lavanya, who had a wonderfully equanimous sort of temperament would not be the one to feel so much dejection. But then, in the last ten months that she had known Lavanya, she had never lost. It is easy to be composed when you are only winning.
"Go away, what do you know," Lavanya said, pushing Khushi away from her, "The poor girl from Chandni Chowk whom the coach loves and who gets all the support from everyone all the time."
Khushi had been taken aback. She had never seen a hostile Lavanya until now. In the privileged world of New-Ons, where she was a firm misfit, it was Lavanya who embraced her as is. To everyone else in New-Ons she was many things: the girl who spoke English with a Hindi accent, who got tiffin in a stainless dabba, whose parents were a halwai, who lived in Chandni Chowk, who was the first in her family who would be completing school. Ma had dropped out of school after Class VIII and Baba after Class X.Shyam, her older brother had completed school, but since he remained untraceable, it was assumed, he was no longer a Gupta. To most New-On-Ite Khushi was either a behenji, mataji, weird girl, funny girl, some-kind-of-prefix girl.
Lavanya was the only one who had accepted Khushi as she was, her classmate, fellow athlete and the girl who was better at maths than her. Lavanya's friends became her friends, or at any rate were friendly enough to her. There was Karthik, who was the goofball of their batch. Khushi liked him because while he made fun of everyone, it was never hurtful. Because Khushi was from Chandni Chowk, he christened her Chandni and every morning he would greet her singing, Chandni, O Meri Chandni. Then there was Veena, who was a rather stern and fierce sort of girl, but good at heart. According to Lavanya, Veena and Karthik would marry someday because there was obvious chemistry there. Khushi did not see it, but she trusted Lavanya's judgement. And finally there was her favourite, Aakash. Khushi felt that among all the students of New-Ons, if there was one person with whom she had a relationship of equals, it was Aakash. They had a shared love for maths, and this became a source of kinship even while them being fiercely competitive with each other about it. But the main reason why Khushi liked Aakash was because he was the only one who would eat from her dabba during lunch. To Khushi that was the most intimate bonding between friends, someone who was willing and happy to break bread with you. Of course inspite of their connection, Aakash Mallik's background was very different from that of Khushi. Both his parents were senior bureaucrats and though many of their classmates's parents probably made more money than his parents did, but being a Babu's son, fetched you enormous respect in the New-Ons circle. Even Payal, who was disdainful of everyone and everything, showed mild reverence towards Aakash. Basically everyone was indoctrinated at a young age that in the entitlement pyramid, a bureaucrat trumped most other professions. Except for Shantanu Yadav, whose father was a politician and held a ministerial berth in the government then. He came to school in his laal batti walli gaadi and had the privilege of getting dropped off at the school entrance arch. Even their school principal was required to park her car near the main gate and walk for half a kilometre towards the arch. But the truth was, none of these people would have bothered with Khushi had it not been for Lavanya, she was the enabler, the first to get Khushi into fold.
"Go and collect your medals," Lavanya said wiping her tears with the back of her palms, "You don't have to pretend to be sad."
Khushi did not what to say. Whatever it is that she could have said was cut short when one of the organisers said impatiently, "Aye New-Ons girl, the prize distribution ceremony is going on, you are getting bronze in two events, come quickly."
"Lavanya, I will be back quickly. Don't go anywhere," Khushi instructed a sullen Lavanya as she went to pick her medals.
And now she was gone.
"Congratulations, Khushi. You have qualified in all three events that you were competing in. That is impressive."
Khushi turned towards the voice and saw that it was Arnav. She offered him a shy smile even as she saw that he three medallions around his neck, two gold and one silver. She should have thanked him and congratulated him in return, but she always turned a little tongue-tied around him. This was normally not a problem because he seldom spoke to her. In school, Khushi had realised that New-On-Ites behaved very differently when they were with other New-On-Ites than when they were alone. In a group, they behaved liked ultra snobs, but were oftentimes perfectly nice and reasonable one-on-one. Khushi noticed that about Arnav. When he was with Payal or with his best friend Aman Sabharwal, he behaved very differently. He was flippant, had an air of demonstrated boredom, was arrogant and weird. But when Khushi met him during their joint training session with Baig Sir, she saw a different side to him. He was considerate, like in allowing her to use the shower first after their practise session before they headed to their class. He even would give her advice sometimes, on her stance, on biking gear and shoes she should buy. Of course, they were way out of her reach in terms of the budget, but she still appreciated the gesture. Sometimes he would even smile at her and ruffle her hair after a good training session with, well done, kiddo. But the moment they were inside Class IX D, something happened. She, Khushi became invisible to Arnav. Though she and Lavanya sat right behind him and Payal, not once would he turn behind to smile, to chat, borrow an eraser. Khushi got a view of the back of his head and would know the exact day when he would get a haircut. That was the only extent of their interaction during class hours.
Arnav was a favourite with all the teachers. He was the designated teacher's pet of their class. While this worked to his advantage most of the times, there was a downside to it too. He used to often get pulled out in front of the class to read a passage, write on the blackboard and so on. One day during Hindi Class, Sunita Ma'm asked Arnav to read a poem that they were studying that day. It was a rather difficult one that went, aandhiyon ne god main humko khilaya hai na bhulo.
As Arnav stood in front of them, reading it, with the right modulation and inflexion in his voice, making sure that that he looked at the text in front of him and yet maintain eye contact with his classmates in between, Khushi looked at him and wondered, if someone like Arnav would ever be friends withe someone like her. Later during lunch, Lavanya had pulled her aside from their table and whispered into her ear, "You like Arnav!"
It was not a question. It was a statement.
"What? No?"
"You don't like Arnav?"
"We are fifteen."
"So, you don't like Arnav?"
"What does that mean? I like everyone in our class?"
"Really? Do you like Aman Sabharwal too?"
"Well. I don't know him."
"And you know Arnav?"
"He is a really good athlete. In our triathlon team, he is the best swimmer. So I like him as a fellow athlete."
"Just admit it that you have a crush on Arnav."
"I don't."
"There is nothing wrong in having a crush. It is kinda normal."
"He is a good sportsperson. I like him for that. In the same way that you like Rahul Dravid."
"I love Rahul Dravid. I will marry him."
Just than Aakash walked towards them and wanted to know what they were whispering about.
"Oh nothing much. Khushi has a crush on Arnav."
"Shut up Lavanya. I don't."
The other students in the dining hall turned to look at them, surprised that the normally docile Khushi actually had a voice and even asked Lavanya to shut up. But Lavanya giggled and Aakash had just looked at her thoughtfully.
"If you are looking for Lavanya, she has left. Her car came and she left. She was kind of upset," Arnav said, interrupting her thoughts.
"Oh," is all that Khushi could manage in response. Until sudden panic set in when she realised that Lavanya was going to give her a ride back home. The school van had dropped them off, but the driver refused to wait all day because it was the day before Holi. While Khushi hadn't been entirely sure about the connection, she had been satisfied when Lavanya said that her car would drop them off at school, from where her Baba could pick her up as was originally planned. Normally when she had to stay back in school after practise, she would go home alone. But today it would be close to seven in the evening and the day before Holi, so things could get a little rough around the city.
"How will I go home now?" Khushi said, almost tearfully. Chandni Chowk was a long way away and it would take Baba a while before he got here. Plus, he had a huge order of Gujiyas for Holi that needed to be completed tonight. Perhaps she could take a bus. It was half past six and not so dark. She could just borrow some money from Arnav.
"Arnav can you give me fifty rupees. I will return it to you tomorrow. Promise," she said solemnly.
He gave her a peculiar look. She was not sure if he was amused or annoyed. But he pulled out a hundred rupee bill and gave it to her.
"Do you need to buy something?" he asked, surprising her with his curiosity.
"I was supposed to get a ride with Lavanya. But you said that she has left. So I will take a bus from," she looked around and pointed vaguely in the direction of traffic. There sure was likely to be a bus-stop nearby.
"I am waiting for my car. I can give you a ride," he said. Maybe it was Khushi's imagination, but she sensed a tad hesitance in his voice.
"No, that is okay. I am sure you don't stay near my house. I will manage," Khushi said, this was the probably the longest conversation that they had ever had.
"Don't be stubborn, Khushi. It is no problem. It is late and not safe. I will drop you off at your home," Arnav said, so earnestly and firmly that Khushi agreed.
As they got into Arnav's Mitsubishi Lancer, he said, "What Lavanya did was wrong. How can she just leave you like this and go?!"
"She was upset. It was understandable."
"It is not."
Khushi didn't respond to that. While she was upset with Lavanya for abandoning her like this, she also found herself getting annoyed with Arnav for being so judgemental about this. She turned away from him and looked out of the car window instead, while he gave instructions to his driver.
"Gullu Bhaiya, mere friend ko Chandni Chowk drop karna hai, phir ghar jana hain."
Khushi looked at the rearview mirror, where Gullu Bhaiya assessed her and rather sternly. She had realised that sometimes you might be good enough for one of the New-On-Ites to befriend, but you might not meet with the approval of their maids, drivers and other help. Like each time she got in Lavanya's car, she could sense that her driver, Sethi, did not approve of madam befriending someone as frumpy as her. Sethi probably fluffed the car seat pillows after she got off. Gullu Bhaiya too did not seem to approve of her and said sullenly.
"Holi se pehle toh uss side par bhaut traffic padega."
Arnav looked at Gullu Bhaiya rather impatiently and it was Khushi who decided to come up with a compromise.
"Bhaiya, aap mujhe New-Ons chodh dijiye. Main wahan se chali jaoongi."
"Uss poore side mein traffic bahut zyada hai. Ghanton lag jayenge."
Gullu Bhaiya was determined. Arnav scowled at him.
"Khushi ko yahan akele toh nahin chod sakte hain hum."
"I will be fine. Drop me off at a PCO, I will call Baba,"
"No. We will drop you."
The scowl was now replaced by a determined pout. Khushi was familiar with this. During their training, sometimes when Baig Sir would chastise him for something, this was his look.
"Seriously, I will be okay. He has a point, Chandni Chowk will be crazy. I will just call my dad. I will wait near where the guards are. I will be safe."
"You can't wait here. My home is nearby. You ask your dad to come and pick you from there."
"But.."
"Acha ghar ki taraf hi le lo."
Khushi knew that there was no point resisting this. Arnav's school backpack was in the car. He took out a notebook and scribbled something on it. He handed it over to Khushi along with a mobile phone that the driver had.
"That is my address with directions. Call your dad and tell him to pick you up."
Khushi was not familiar with how to operate a mobile phone, so Arnav dialled the number for her and handed the phone to her.
Khushi called the shop, Maa picked up the phone who was left confused by Khushi's explanation. She handed the phone to Baba and Khushi repeated everything to Baba as well.
"I am just getting done with the last batch of gujiyas. Can you wait in your friend's house for a couple of hours? Her family won't mind, will they?"
"It is a boy's house, Baba. He is my classmate. You try and come as soon as possible."
"Oh. Okay. Once you reach, you call again. I will speak with his parents and explain that I will be a little late. They should not think badly of us too."
Khushi handed the phone to Arnav, "Thank you. Baba won't be able to come immediately. He will speak to your parents to check if it is okay, if he comes by 8:30 or 9:00."
"That won't be necessary. You can stay as long as you want, Khushi."
Arnav smiled at her and Khushi smiled back. On the rearview mirror, it was clear that Gullu Bhaiya did not approve.
**
Arnav lived in the nearby neighbourhood of Greater Kailash, which was less than five kilometres away from the sports complex. But the traffic on the road meant that it took them a little over half and hour to reach his place. Khushi felt a little nervous as Gullu Bhaiya drove into the fortress-like Raizada House. This was the first time she was visiting any of her batchmate's home. So far she had nor even gone to Lavanya's house, their friendship restricted to school hours and sports events.
Arnav got off from the car before she did and reached out into his pocket for the house keys to let himself in. Khushi felt a sudden surge of irrational panic as she realised that Arnav was home alone and his parents were not even there. She was not sure why this should bother her. After all, Arnav had been nothing but perfectly courteous to her until now. She had felt safe enough with him to get into the car with him. He obviously what not the sort of guy who would shoot a MMS of her and pass it around to his friends. She knew many of the boys she went to New-Ons with to be capable of that, but not Arnav. But all these thoughts came to her only later, at that point, all she felt was panic.
"Your parents are not home. Why didn't you tell me this?"
"Sorry?"
"My Baba will be angry with me if he comes to know that I am alone with a.. boy."
Arnav looked at her for a a minute, not saying anything and then burst out laughing.
"Khushi you are.. honestly so funny," he said, still unable to stop laughing, "If you are that uncomfortable, you can sit here in our front verandah."
There were two chairs outside, along with assorted potted plants and a coffee table. Probably the Raizadas sat here in December afternoons, admiring their perfectly manicured garden and bonding with each other. Khushi placed her gym bag on the floor and sat down rather primly on the low cane chair.
Arnav shut his eyes, raised his head upwards, he was annoyed, very annoyed, she could tell.
"I was just kidding, Khushi," he said, with bare civility, "Come inside."
"I am good here. Baba should be here soon," Khushi said, in what she hoped was her most determined voice.
Arnav muttered something under his breath and picked his bags and went in. He shut the door after himself and Khushi sat there alone in the dark. Five minutes had passed since Khushi was sitting in the verandah and she was already feeling silly. She considered ringing the doorbell and going in, but she decided that when Arnav came back to check on her later, she would go in. Half an hour later, the front verandah light was switched on by someone inside the house. The door remained shut.
Now that there was light, things were not so bad. Khushi admired the assorted plants and the paintings on the wall. If this is how Arnav's house was outside, she wondered how beautiful it was inside. Something she will probably never find out, thanks to her idiocy. Even as she was feeling forlorn, she heard the main gate open and another car come in.Probably Arnav's parents were here, Khushi thought panic-stricken. How was she going to explain to them who she was and why she was outside. The car came to a halt and a young woman, in her early twenties got down from the driver's seat. She was very striking looking. Tall, slim, fashionably-dressed and had nice features, with the most beautiful eyes and longest of eye-lashes. She had four bags in all and pulled them all out and walked towards the house when she saw Khushi.
"Hey there, who are you?"
"I am... Khushi.. Arnav's fr... classmate."
"Is Arnav not at home," the beautiful girl said, taking the house keys out of her pocket and letting herself in.
"No. I mean, yes, he is home. But I am waiting for my Baba to come and pick me up," Khushi said, hoping the beautiful girl wouldn't interrogate her more.
The girl crooked her head and stared at her, there was something disconcerting and very familiar about it.
"I am Anjali, Arnav's sister. Please don't wait outside like this. When your Baba is here, the watchman will tell us. It is still a little cold here anyway," the beautiful girl said and shook her head, indicating Khushi to come in.
Simultaneously reluctant and grateful, Khushi entered the Raizada House and Anjali made her sit in the living room. The inside of the house was exactly as beautiful as Khushi imagined it would be, expensive rugs and carpets, high ceiling, huge paintings that she could not make out what they were but could guess they were expensive, plush sofas, colourful cushions and beautiful curtains, which were much prettier than any of the clothes that Khushi wore.
"Chotey, Chotey," she heard Anjali shout, as she went up the staircase that was on the side of the entrance passage. Was Chotey their household help, Khushi wondered. But there was nobody other than Arnav in the house, was there?
Ten minutes later, Anjali came downstairs and looked at Khushi curiously.
"Do you want to eat dinner," she finally asked. But Khushi was certain that this wasn't what she was originally going to ask her.
"My Baba will be here soon," Khushi said, the prospect of eating with the Raizada siblings seemed like a terrifying thought, "Can I call my home once to check if Baba has left?"
Anjali handed over the cordless phone and left the room, allowing Khushi some privacy to talk. Baba had not yet left Chandni Chowk, he would leave in an hour.
"My Baba can leave only after an hour," an almost tearful Khushi told Anjali, as she handed back the phone to her.
"You must be tired after the sports all day, I will give you a ride. Let me just freshen up. I will be down in five," Anjali said and immediately disappeared behind one of the curtains and into her room.
Though she realised that she was inconveniencing Anjali, she still felt somewhat relieved. She had left home at 5:30 this morning and there was nothing she wanted more than go back home. Just then she heard another car come in, footsteps of someone running and pounding urgently on the fornt door.
"Arnav, Arnav, darwaza khol," a voice said, which to Khushi sounded somewhat familiar. Arnav was nowhere to be seen and Khushi wondered if she should open the door. Thankfully for her, Anjali just came into the room then and got the door.
"Aakash, darwaza tod hi deta," Anjali Di said shaking her head, as she let Aakash Mallik in.
Khushi was shocked. Aakash and Arnav seldom even spoke at school, then what was he doing here at Arnav Raizada's house.
"Aakash!"
"Khushi! What.. what are you doing here."
"I.. what are you doing here?"
"Aakash lives here, he is my cousin," Arnav said dourly, who had stealthily managed to emerge out of his room.
"Oh!" was all Khushi could say in response.
"Chale, Khushi? Lets get you home. Do you boys want to come on a ride to Chandni Chowk," Anjali said, picking up Khushi's bag and leading her out. As they closed the door behind them at the Raizada House, they heard the boys go in unison, "No!"
As Khushi sat quietly while being driven around by Anjali, she thought about that day. It had been a day of revelation. Lavanya did not like her that much. Aakash was not she thought she was. Arnav was never going to hang-out with here ever. And she Khushi was enormously stupid. When they finally reached Khushi's house, it was half past nine.
"Thank you, Anjali.. Didi.. Anjali Mam," Khushi said, confused on how to address her, wondering if she should invite her home.
"No problem, kiddo," Anjali said, ruffling her head, "You can call me Di. That is what Cho.. Arnav and Aakash call me."
As Khushi watched Anjali drive away, she was sure that she would never meet Anjali Di again.
xx
The North Zone Track & Field championship was a turning point for this motley group from New-Ons Class of 2004. Particularly for Khushi, for whom her equation with her various classmates changed. When she went back to school on the Monday after, Lavanya was back to being friendly and cool. Yet, something was amiss. Khushi was back to being friendly with Aakash, though she felt that she no longer knew him at all. And was less unsure around him. Arnav who had done a fine job of ignoring her through most of the year, now avoided her even more, if that was even possible. The only person who remained the same was Payal. When Khushi was filling her one litre bottle with water at the the school water cooler, Payal standing behind her said, "Mataji, poore Chandni Chowk ke liye paani bhar rahi ho kya?"
Khushi decided that it was all for the best. With exams around the corner and the crucial Class X next year, she needed more focus on her studies. Plus, she had made it to the Nationals, she had to win something. She had to makes her parents struggle to get her into New-Ons count for something.
During her summer break, she solved all the maths problems in her textbook, twice over. She would show that Aakash. Baba also thought that she was finally old enough to be let to the jalebi frying pan, something that had been her long-time ambition. After years of being her Baba's Jalebi understudy, she was thrilled that her own first efforts were perfect. Everyone was impressed. Even Ma, who did not dole out praise easily said that it was impressive.
Khushi was unsure what the rest of the New-On-Ites did during the break, but she had solved hundreds of maths problems and made thousands of jalebis. This had done her good. So, by the time she arrived back at New-Ons in Class X D, she felt strangely fearless and confident. However, this was short-lived, when she realised with some horror that the school had shuffled around their seating arrangements and she was going to be sitting next to Aman Sabharwal for one whole year.
**
comment:
p_commentcount