Don't Get Too Close, It's Dark Inside (it's where my demons hide)

Let's start, well, from the beginning! Sahir fights these goons who dare treat Arzoo like a disposable object, and I'm very sure it had very little to do with his own feelings, and more so to do with the fact that Sahir has been shown to be very respectful and caring towards the women in his life. An angry young man with no misogynistic streak, truly something to marvel about on Indian telly. Anam screwing up, yet Sahir still allowing her position in the company to be intact. His constant and unfathomable respect for his mother and Kurti Appa. The way he pleaded with Arzoo's mother to stay, the way he responded to dadi whilst Arzoo was behind bars. This sequence with the goons established perfectly, like a cherry on top of a perfect sundae, that Sahir will never tolerate unjust treatment towards women. He does not stand for it, and it only makes me love him more!

He didn't even think twice, just grabbed Arzoo's hand and ran with her, and yet as they were running he was still looking behind to her to make sure she was okay, that she was still there and not hurt. For once in a scene like this I didn't feel an ounce of possessiveness on part of the male lead, instead I felt genuine concern for Arzoo's well being. I cannot stress enough how important that is, for Sahir to not be laying claim to Arzoo, but instead cautiously ensuring she is safe and that she is out of harm's way. Hat's off to the way both leads acted this scene out, especially Harshad. Again when Sahir pulled Arzoo into him, he was quite literally shielding her from harm's way. When one of the goons hits the tree Sahir pulled closer, his body standing between Arzoo and harm. He didn't even think about it, he just pushed closer to her 😳. When Arzoo's about to say something and he immediately put his hand over her mouth, G O D, the careful way he did it. Not to hurt her, never to hurt her, only ever to protect her. The small shake of his head, the entire rigid stance of his body conflicting with the soft expression on his face, absolutely SUPERB.

But then the beautiful juxtaposition of when they overhear the goons degrading and talking disgustingly about Arzoo, Sahir's look of contempt and anger blinding him to danger, and his impulsive act of going forth to pummel those men, Arzoo pulls him in and just as softly, effectively, as he had shook his head, so did she. This time she was keeping him out of harm's way. My god this was done so well, and so in character. That one would be blind to the obvious and danger and the other pulls through to bring them back to reality. Sahir had silently said 'dont scream we are safe where we are' and Arzoo had silently conveyed 'no dont fight them theres too many of them and one of you', and they understood immediately. And again with Sahir's obvious rage I still didn't feel any possessiveness, I felt his anger and fury over how blatantly Arzoo was being disrespected, how much it was hurting him because he knows her.

Then the infamous 'my dupatta is stuck in your watch' scene. Hayyeee What fate these two have, God is all but pushing them together and throwing obvious signs, but these two are as oblivious as ever. But the truth is, the string of fate that binds them together is one that will never break, they are afterall humsafars.

It's amazing how deep the differences between Arzoo and Sahir's povs run, with something as simple as the moon. This conversation was so well done, and the entirety of the scene conveyed so much depth and such a revelation about both Sahir and Arzoo. The moon has been up until this point, a reflection of their lives for both Sahir and Arzoo, and it is the first time they voice these reflections out loud and that too to each other. Where Arzoo finds the beauty in the marred, the happiness in the sadness, Sahir finds the vice versa, and Arzoo says this to him in careful, soft words. The image of Arzoo's soft, serene expression against Sahir's harsh and angry one whilst looking at the moon said even more than those words she uttered. Where Sahir sees the moon as a desolate, lying facade, Arzoo sees it as her most loyal companion. 'Humare saath chal tha hai, ek humsafar ki tarah', and this prompts Sahir to shoot down what she's saying because he knows it to not be true, that when life gets stormy your humsafar is the first to leave, the moon is the first to hide. The entire time Arzoo seems to be talking of the moon in what could be, a humsafar that is ideal for her and will never leave her. Yet Sahir seems to be talking in what has been, a partner that has left him and he is jaded and closed off to the very notion of love. Arzoo's past is marred but she sees her future as bright, Sahir's past is dark and he sees his future the same, there is no light for him. Where the moon has never betrayed Arzoo, it has completely destroyed any hope for love for him. The moon it seems was never a reflection of themselves, it was a reflection of their desires. Arzoo's hope for a steadfast soulmate, and Sahir's perceived knowledge that soulmates don't exist.

Sahir's bitterness stemming from his belief that life is only made to hurt you, and Arzoo's belief that if life hurts, than it gives the balm to ease that pain. It gives you moments of happiness. Here we have two individuals, both who have been betrayed by life, yet Arzoo comes out stronger and happier, and Sahir has come out a shell whose grief still blinds him to the good in life. He can't see that his happiness is talking to him right now, that she is willing to share his grief even if she doesn't know deep it runs, and his refusal to take the first step towards her shows us how afraid he is of being hurt again. Sahir isn't emotionally strong, his heart is so weak that it rules him, it rules every part of him. He makes the conscious decision to be jaded, to not let anyone in, because he is afraid of being hurt again. So he deceives his mind into thinking it has ruled him when really all his actions stem from his heart. Whereas Arzoo's heart rules her in an all encompassing way, unlike Sahir she cannot detach her mind and her heart, and so she is heart first into every opportunity life has to give her. Her mind has seen the bad but her heart has felt all the good as well. She is emotionally strong where Sahir has failed, she doesn't let her past dictate her future.

And it is Arzoo's words that fester thorns in Sahir's hearts and he lashes out at her. Because how could she possibly know pain? How could she know what it's like to be angry and hurt and confused and upset so much so that it hurts to breathe? How could she possibly know? But she does, she does know and she knows better than anyone. I can't believe the simplicity of this scene, where it is revealed to Sahir that Arzoo has a father by name but he refuses to be a part of her life. She knows what it's like to be humiliated and left on the side of the road like garbage. She knows the truth of life, but she knows that the heart of life is good. She has seen life and she has become all the more stronger for it. The simplicity by which Arzoo puts all this forth takes Sahir aback. Because suddenly his notion of this girl knowing nothing has shook and he can't help but think who he's even looking at anymore. She is so much more than he gave her credit for, and unlike him she has the will power to keep moving forward.

When we see them next Arzoo is peacefully asleep, and Sahir is tormented and awake. Is this not exactly what these two are made of? Arzoo whose inner turmoil eventually finds peace, and Sahir's whose inner storm never relents and only threatens to grow. The way Sahir and Arzoo interact is so deliberately done because with every scene more is revealed about them through the other. It is the serene and calm of Arzoo's face that draws Sahir. You can't help but be drawn to the flame when you're a moth constantly searching for light. Arzoo is the way out of his own personal hell, and Sahir unconsciously knows this, it is why he is so drawn to her. But as soon as his guard slips, as soon as he sees himself stumbling, he takes three thousand steps back. My god his anger, his grief is so much it completely consumes him. His fear utterly ruins him.

His anger lashes out from him and it disturbs our peaceful heroine awake. Arzoo who has seen the cool and composed Sahir and never the one ruled by his emotions is so taken aback. Where Sahir saw a side of Arzoo he didn't know of tonight, likewise Arzoo saw a side of him she didn't know existed. Arzoo's revelation was light, and Sahir's dark. His cries of 'kyun' render her speechless yet Arzoo still moves towards him, and with one small touch to his shoulder she does all that he needs. A final blow to the tree, or perhaps his own senses, Sahir stops his rage filled tirade.

And what comes next is perhaps my favourite scene of this show thus far, Sahir festers his axe into the tree and turning once catches Arzoo. He's not hurting her, and he's not exhibiting any power over her, he's holding her. Cradling her head in hand, his thumb slightly caressing her hair as he does so. And he looks completely undone. By god 'tum samajh ti kyun nahin ho? door raho mujhse, d o o r' he's pleading, he's begging for her to turn around and go back from where she came. Wha's even more so is that he does not touch her with his bloodied hand, it is the one that is not stained with his grief. He begs her to leave him alone, that he isn't someone she needs to be around, and he touches her with his hand that is not tainted. The problem is she will never leave, no matter how much he begs her too, because she is his new dream. She is his clean slate, a way out of the darkness he's put himself in. I've been completely unravelled by this scene because there was so much happening and it was only a minute long. He will never stain her with his grief because Arzoo will never let his grief ruin her, she will instead hold his hand and guide him from the darkness of his own heart.

P.S. if you read all that you're an absolute angel.