NEVER LET YOU GO.:
PART-19
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7th Apr 2000
I left her on the bench and turned back to go but i didn't feel like going to my room! I decided to go to the terrace for ONE LAST TIME. and i did. As soon as i stepped on to the terrace the roses i made out of spare parts, lying on the floor welcomed me, i smiled sadly as i collected them... The table was left as it was, i arranged it last night except that the candles were blown off and the rose petals and the roses had withered.. The whole decoration i made was mocking me then! Laughing at me mercilessly!
I sat at a corner on the terrace reviewing the whole night's incident again, tears dribbled my face unknowingly. I don't know how long i sat there. But i was into the world again when i heard jingling sound of anklets rushing towards me.
"vardhaan!" she came running to me and fell on her knees in front of me! I was silent. "vardhan please believe me. i truly don't know that it was him" she pleaded.
"shut up! Niharika! I say shut up!" i bellowed at her. It panicked her totally. "how long niharika? How long will you pretend? You know what? am a fool!! I should have guessed it before! right the moment you said you will marry him...in the canteen! The day you told that your dad asked you to marry kabir! I should have guessed"
"vardhaan! You are misunderstanding me!! I never cheated on you" she said sternly.
"yeah! you just played with my feelings"
"vardhan trust me!! I really don't know! I thought it was you...even now I swear, i love only you" she nearly broke
"love?? My foot! Get the hell out of my life and stop playing with it! Bloody cheater! I am happy! Damn happy without you! Get out of my life" i folded my hands shouting at her. She was dumbstruck. Heart broken, but still she managed to be stubborn, so as i!
"you never know what your words cost! Don't you dare doubt my love! and one last thing, i can't let you go!" she said taking my hand in to hers
"done with your speech?" i asked. She said nothing. she silently leaned forward hugging me and whispering "i love you" in my ears! But in turn i pushed her curtly
"ab please yeh drama bandh karo" i stood up and walked away leaving a shattered heart behind
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"i can't read this anymore" randhir closed the book.
"par kyu" sanyukta gave him puzzled look.
"pata nehin" randhir hugged the book to his heart.
"theek hai, there are only 2 pages left. there after you can stop if you want" sanyukta grabbed the book and opened it.
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4th May 2000.:
i wondered how i spent those last weeks in the college hearing people gossiping about me and niharika. All those days she didn't even talked to me rather say i had avoided her!, how ever the anger that overpowered my mind had blinded me! I completely sank into feeling that she cheated on me, that she loved kabir! I totally failed to notice that she talked to neither of us!
In no time the pain of my broken heart had completely turned to never ending hatred! I spent nights alone on the terrace staring at the sky Trying to count the stars just that i could push her thoughts out of my head! While tears formed streaks down my cheeks, and days were abysmal, i hardly ate, i hardly studied, i hardly talked to others!!!
Finally it was the last exam the previous day and i felt suffocated to stay in college for at least one minute after the exam! Cause... It's her! It's niharika..every where... The jingling sounds of her anklets reverberated every corner of the campus.. The air carried her fragrance..and her smiles echoed every where... It turned hellish hell with every passing nano second... Right after the exam i rushed to my room and began to pack my things..but i was stopped in the name of final dream team meeting... But that day i was determined... I was not going to stay there any more! It was 8 in the morning that i walked out of hostel vacating it! I left the college informing none.!
GOOD BYE FITE
GOOD BYE NIHARIKA
once on the road...i was homeless then! I had no idea where to go and what to do! but the only destination that was in my mind was MUMBAI! it was my only scope then! Cause midst all chaos i had cleared interview of IIT MUMBAI..! Even when having weeks time for commencement of classes i decided to leave for Mumbai
LIFE @ IIT MUMBAI.:
Months after i left to mumbai and joined IIT, i came to knew that niharika had joined IIT DELHI, but i couldn't gather the account of kabir. However i had decided to brush her thoughts away, forever. but i was taught that it's impossible when she called me to the hostel number on a fine evening.. For some reason i felt like hearing her voice...and i did, i attended her call but turned to be a silent listener all the while she said that she really loved me, while she cried that she hadn't cheated me...all the while,..
6 months passed in time of blink. Never in 6 months from then she stopped calling me, i heard her voice almost every day but never ever spoke to her! But then i doesn't knew, that it would turn out to be the second mistake of mine! It'd be the other way, had i been talked to her, at least for once that day.
...
"what does these mean?" randhir frowned running his fingers along the last line.
"lets see! Waise bhi, you search for the keys randhir, you told na, that you don't want to read it any more" she said
"yup! But now i want to" he said.
...
2 years rolled as seconds...! Nothing had changed except that vartika got married.! Nothing.! nothing had changed.. after 6 months of vain trails, Niharika had stopped calling me. in those initial months she used to call almost every evening, just with a hope, to tell me how much she really loved me and how badly she needs me.! But nothing satisfies a male ego Until it realizes for it self.. I just kept listening to her all the while she talked even when i knew what she would say..might be that my heart was longing to hear her every day!,
she never left my thoughts, she's every where, what ever i did, she's on the walls of my room- her pictures, she's there in every sentence i wrote! The fact that i don't even want to accept was.. I still love her!
4th May 2002.:
it was the final exam of final semester that day and it was the same day that i had seen niharika the last time 2 years ago!!!!! for some reason, that day, some where down my heart i had a hope that she would call me... it was quarter less 1 pm by the time i had completed my exam.. Once done! I ran to the hostel like a maniac, just that to attend her call,if in case she calls!
"sir! Did i got any call from Delhi!" i asked the warden gasping for breathe. He nodded sideways giving me weird look!
"umm thank you!" i heaved a huge sigh of relief and sat on the bench near by, i knew she would definitely call me..!! I sat there counting, seconds minutes and hours waiting for her to call me... It was nearly around 2 30 pm when i heard my warden calling out for me.
"huh.!" i raised my head to check out.
"mess will be closed, in half en hour" he said stuffing some registers in the rack.
"woh actually..." i was searching words for answering him!
"it's okay, hadn't she called yet?" he asked. Just stupefying me.
"sir.!" i was surprised.
"vardhaan! I have been seeing you for the past 2 years." he sat beside me "May be you can't say. But your eyes speak vardhaan!, she is still hidden deep down in layers of your heart. Life always will never give a second chance vardhaan. but you have it now... it's not too late... I hope you would go for it" he smiled patting my shoulder and stood up to leave.
"sir," i called out.
"yeah!" he turned back.
"her name is niharika oberoi" i said.
"god bless you both vardhaan..." he smiled and left. It was the first ever time that i had spoken to my hostel warden in those 2 years. Whatever, i realized, that i was still loving her! He's right she was still hidden somewhere in my heart. 2 years of being apart hadn't changed my feelings for her. It was fact, then and now and it will be! Forever. Difference is that then i was completely over powered by anger but now am not!
i sat on the bench pensive even after the warden left, but the sudden ring of the phone brought me back to world. I rushed to phone and grabbed the receiver in haste
"hello.! Hello niharika! Niharika.." i began to iterate...but nothing came out except silence... with every passing second my heart was thumping
"niharika..speak up please..." i kept on calling for her again and again! But i was enraged again when i heard a male voice, the same voice again.
"kabir.!" i heard him smirking from the other side.
"kabir..! Bloody hell. how dare you call me!" i punched my fist against the table.
"oh my dear friend! Don't get annoyed... I just called you to invite you to my marriage with my love" he said sarcastically.
"kabir... See,.. Stop poking you nose into my life.. It's you, who had conspired every thing to separate us, that night. right?!" i gnashed.
"oooh... You got to know finally! tch... tch...but it's too late now..you can do nothing now except attending OUR wedding" he laughed wickedly!
"I won't let this happen!" i gnashed.
"make a try... it's futile though...all the best vardhaan!" he disconnected the call! Damn! they are getting married!!!! the words themselves were choking me... what if it happens in real in front of my eyes???? aaah!! crap...! I should have talked to her at least once before i left to mumbai, it's sheer my mistake. I should and i would had to correct it! I would bring her back to my life again. No matter how hard it was! i was determined...
"I am coming..niha to bring you back!" i said to my self as i decided to leave for Delhi once again for wooing my love back.
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