AaShlok SS- Destined To Be: Chapter 6 & Note Pg #59

xayeshax thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#1

^Banner Credit: ARIANA_ who's called ShrAvi_ now but yeh, thanks🤗

****Hey guys, I'm here with my first ever fiction I had never thought I would start writing but some fellow people persuaded me into this. So this is dedicated to them and all the writers from the forum, Suri, Sam, Meerab, Aishaa, Nat, Meera, Naina (really miss you naina) Jeeni, Tanvi and many more😆 Love you all🤗****


Chapter 1:


Life, ahh life! I would say was perfect, everyday would bring a smile on my face. What was it that transformed my darkness filled nights, to days full of life; what was it that changed lifeless days to days full of life? Life was worth living, just for her.

The day she entered my life, my world had spun upside down. It took a lot to impress the Shlok Agnihotri and she had done so in our first encounter.

...

The Agnihotri institution was doing tremendous and it was expanding rapidly. We had thrown at small party for our success which was done on Baba's insistence. Small party I said, but would Niranjan Agnihotri abide by that, I think not.

I despised this whole partying business, I'd suffer from severe migraines. However this time I had forgotten all about my migraine, I couldn't think about anything besides her. Who was she? The only question I wanted answering.

I'd met and chatted with a couple of clients when Baba came over and introduced me to an important person whom we had just cracked a deal with.

"Shlok beta this is Mr Kapoor! The one I was talking about in the meeting earlier today."

Shlok nodded a yes and extended his hand, however his mind was elsewhere.

"So Shlok, bachelor in his late 20's, what have you thought about the aspect of marriage?" Mr Kapoor questioned before the tip of the glass touched his lips.

Niranjan who was stood alongside Shlok raised his eyebrows in question!

Shlok had made no eye contact throughout the whole conversation; his eyes were glued to the door. He broke out of his trance when he heard his Baba calling his name.

"Shlok Beta, Mr Kapoor is asking you something?" Retorted Niranjan.

"Sorry Mr Kapoor, you were saying?"

"Ah yes Shlok! I was asking about you and marriage, you know settling down anytime soon?"

Shlok instantaneously looked up as his eyes met questioning eyes. He scrunched his face in anger as his fists grew tighter...

"...Excuse me!" Shlok left his Baba and his friends and went and sat at the bar and ordered some juice to calm himself down.

He got lost in his thoughts and the darkness took over him, marriage' he thought! Ayi wanted me to get married, but...

"...Shlok, Shlok!"

Shlok suddenly broke out of his thoughts. "Hey Shlok beta, where are you lost?! Been calling out to you for ages. Why did you suddenly leave, Mr Kapoor wanted to discuss some future plans about the business with you, and he also wanted to introduce you to somebody."

Shlok obliged to his Baba's orders, he put down the drink and proceeded to where he was standing earlier.

Shlok stood and nodded and agreed to what Mr Kapoor was discussing, he was in no mood to hang around. He urgently wanted to go home and rest; he could feel his migraine returning.

He heard a familiar voice been called out, he looked up behind Mr Kapoor to see who it was.

As he looked on his eyes grew wider at the sight in front of him. His mind had switched off from Mr Kapoor's conversation, and he was now observing her from a distance. She was coming closer and closer, their eyes locked for a second too long. Shlok immediately took his eyes off her and resumed listening to what Mr Kapoor was saying. That didn't last long as he caught himself looking at her again. This time he started to mentally curse himself.

Little while later Shlok looked up where he had seen that girl, but he was shocked to see she was no longer there. His eyes danced around, but there was no sign of her...

"So Shlok, what do you think?" queried Mr Kapoor.

"Huh, what?!" Shlok broke out of his thoughts and looked back at an inquiring Mr Kapoor.

"Avdhoot Saab that sounds great, but you said you need to be out of town, so who will help in looking after the business with Shlok?!" Probed Niranjan.

Shlok also looked at Mr Kapoor, waiting for his answer.

"Daaad!" A girl in her mid-20's came running over to Mr Kapoor and took him into an embrace.

"Oh you're here, right on time. I want you to meet the Agnihotri's the one that I've cracked a deal with" Mr Kapoor said as he looked down at the girl hugging him.

She instantly turned around to Niranjan and shook his hand with a pleasant smile on her face.

"This is Niranjan Agnihotri, he's the owner of Agnihotri Institution and that is his son, Shlok Agnihotri" Mr Kapoor said as he pointed at the duo. She then turned to greet the other man.

She turned and looked blankly at the man and extended her hand, what she didn't realise was that he hadn't took his eyes off her since she came over, heck he hadn't took his eyes off her since she entered their house. She shook his hand, as she did so she heard a silent whisper from the man.

"You!"

She looked in question into his eyes?

"Tum use jante ho beta?" Mr Kapoor asked.

"Yes..No!" They both answered at the same time.

Mr Kapoor laughed, Shlok how do you know my daughter?

*Flashback*

"I hate parties, why does Baba have to put me through this misery; I rather sit at home in my own comfort. I hate mingling around with people who have no life of their own!"

Shlok was tired, he threw himself into a simple suit and got ready to leave for the party.

As he stepped outside the house he looked up at the sky. "Oh great, it's raining! This is by far the best night!" Shlok growled in frustration as he made his way to the car.

They drove for 10 minutes when suddenly the car had to stop.

"Why have you stopped, carry on driving. We're going to be late!" Shlok exclaimed as he looked out the window with raindrops streaming down it.

"Saab, looks like their traffic!" responded the driver.

"Oh great, just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse!"

"Saab, I'm going to go have a look to see what the problem is!" The driver said as he got out of the car.

Shlok sat for a few minutes; frustration took over so he decided to step outside for a bit. Shlok stood gazing into the darkness recalling his mother. How she had left the world and left them all devastated. That day had changed Shlok Agnihotri's life. He had forgotten how to live.

Shlok could sense his eyes dampen; he blinked them away and looked around in annoyance as the driver had still not returned.

As he looked around, the irritation in his eyes disappeared; he was unknowingly awestruck by the strange girl's beauty who was stood a few feet away.

He had forgotten all about his surroundings, he just observed her playing with the rain. Her hands were outstretched and she was twirling around as beads of rain fell from her forehead down. She looked up at the sky and said "Life is like the ocean. It can be calm or still, and rough or rigid, but in the end it is always beautiful!"

She then giggled on the word beautiful, and threw the water she had collected in her hands on herself.

Shlok was captivated; he felt a sudden need to go near the girl.

"Before you can see the light, you have to deal with the darkness!" Shlok whispered to himself in response to the girl.

"In the darkness all you have are your memories!" She spoke whilst staring into the dark clouds.

"Miserable... memories!" Shlok said as he also looked into the dark sky.

He looked down at the girl, but to his dismay she was no longer there. The spot where she was standing was empty. He looked around to see where she had gone, but it was of no use.

"She was right here, where did she go, was I dreaming, or was she actually there?!"

Shlok felt a tap on his shoulder and immediately turned around.

"Saab the traffic has been dealt with, we should get going!"

Shlok looked around one last time, and made his way to the car. Strangely he couldn't get her face out of his head.

*flashback ends*

"Oh, I've just seen her around!"

"That's funny; I've never seen you in my life!" Shlok just smiled in response.

"Hi, I'm Astha! Nice to meet you." Astha extended her hand to Shlok. Shlok shook back.

He looked into her eyes, and felt a sense of belonging! As he looked deeper into them, the more he felt himself getting lost in them...

"Ermm, my hand?!"

Shlok came back to his senses and promptly let go of her hand.

"So Shlok, this is Astha my daughter. I have to be away so she will help in handling the business with you. She will start from Monday!"

"That's fine; I will get everything ready for her to start working straight away!"

"Thank you Shlok beta, Niranjan Saab if we can take your leave now!"

"Yes sure, will drop you off to the door!"

Shlok and his Baba returned home. Throughout the whole way home, Shlok hadn't spoken a word; he retired to his bed, after the eventful night.

It was 2:00am and he was still twisting and turning in bed. He kept having flashbacks of the wet girl dancing in the rain. Her words stuck to him. It was as if they were chosen specially for his situation. Who is that girl? With that he fell into a deep slumber.

Please ignore any mistakes! Do like and comment😃
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Index


Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6

Edited by ...Ayesha... - 10 years ago

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BlackJack. thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
#2
res
unres

I KNEW it! I just knew it that you had what it takes to be a story writer. And see I was not wrong! This is just EXCELLENT! ❤️

Seriously!👏👏👏 APPLAUSE!

First of all i have never read aything from Shlok's POV. Its either Astha or a third person POV. So this is my first, i really wanted to know how he'd feel in situations. And i like this one. Esp when he was nuts about these parties.
Oh i was wondering who is Kapoor guy is and you held the suspense better by changing Astha's surname or else we would have been sure if it was Kirloskar in its place.
So shlok had once seen this girl and it seems he has already dipped his nails a bit too far. Love at first sight is it?😆
Anjali is dead? Sad sad sad... after the current take of the events in the show i really admire her now!😃
Okay now there was a part which had me thinking and it lead me nowhere... did you deleberately do that?😲😆 When he said his mum wanted to get him married...

And who was Shlok looking for when Kapoor was talking to him? was he expecting someone?😳😆 Who was he expecting? Scared now! does he have a past?😲 Interesting!⭐️

Okay this was over all very interesting and certainly not your first attempt...now tell me where have you been hiding you previous works!?!😡😆
Dont tell me to believe this is indeed the first..i'll kill you!🤢
I mean i was pretty lame at my first...this is so good in comparison and then i just can't forget your age!🥱😲😆
So i am first and i get the privilege to be the dedicated one!😃 Thank You so much for this Ayesha! Love ya!
So i am pretty sure its going to be an amazingg story if you'd update it any sooner!😆 Donn't follow mine or Sam's legacy. PLEASE!😆
Edited by AshesToDust - 10 years ago
Sam_15 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#3
Unres..


Wow...what a chupi rustam u r!! 😲😛 Always pretending u were no good and not letting us have a single clue when all that while you were hiding such amounts of talent within urself. That was incredible 👍🏼 It was written so BEAUTIFULLY. Amazing!! ⭐️⭐️ I have no words to describe how proud of u I am feeling right now 😃 You are a natural, kid. I can't believe you were doubting ur abilities
Honestly, the way u wrote it left me in awe, esp. considering ur age. At this age I couldn't have imagined writing something even half as well as this. In fact my first ever chapter too wasn't as good as this one. I agree with Sur that it definitely does not seem like your first attempt. There is already a slight maturity in ur writing I can sense 😊

A superb start! I have already told u and I will say it again, I just LOVED the way u started it off with life and how u connected Shlok's sentiments about life to his lady love Astha. Speaking of which, it was love at first sight for him...aww how romantic!!

The whole flashback/rain sequence was beautifully illustrated, esp. Astha's part. I liked the quotes you used for both her and Shlok. They were apt for the situation. And I liked how you showed the contrast in their thoughts with those quotes. Astha as optimistic and Shlok as pessimistic! 😆

And What a surprise! You changed Astha's surname here. That's why I didn't suspect her to be the daughter of the Kapoor who was introduced at the beginning of the chapter. Clever! 😉😆

Sad to know Anjali has died in ur story. Sounds like Shlok was very close to her. Is that the cause behind his melancholic demeanour or does he have a past?

Who was Shlok looking for in the party? Was he expecting Astha or someone else? And that flashback, it happened on the same day, on way to this party or was it some other day?

I also loved the end...Shlok's reaction to Astha. It was cute. Now Astha will work with Shlok! That's great 😃

Now that I know you have written the whole thing, you best update soon. This chapter was very intriguing and so is the plot. I am really thrilled to read the whole story now 😳😃

And once again kiddo BRAVO!! 👏👏👏

Edited by Sam_15 - 10 years ago
xayeshax thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#4
Why two reserves😕
mayabharathi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#5
very nice start do continue soon
Priya_ShrAvi thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#6
Aww baby🤗..it's really a good start...and am so glad that u give it a go...its more than perfect for first attempt...👏
And even am not able to believe it's ur first😉
So a love story that too shlok falling for her first❤️ gonna be a treat to read😛...small F.B with rain was cherry on the cake
⭐️ and astha telling...that's funny,I haven't seen u in ma whole life...😆 there I swear ayesha replaced astha...too cute!

On the whole its really an excellent story ...I needn't say this...u already knew with the grand response ur getting😳


Edited by priya_avi - 10 years ago
lively_roshani thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#7
awesome superb
👏
i will comment long after reading more n more
love ya
Serviana thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#8
you wrote something and did not tell me about it?
🥺😳
oldaf thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#9
res
I know I usually dun unres but sill 🤣
Shocking News***
Ayesha turned into a writer! :o
crazygul thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Visit Streak 30 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#10
our kiddo started writing.. our Kiddo Ayesha is writting.. so happy !! kiddo and love story hawww !! our kiddo is so big now. Anything Nirma !! No nirma kiddo !! love n hugs !! 👏 i love my kiddo and everything she does..

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