Posted:
Hello shello forum.
Hope you guys will enjoy the extended weekend. I am certainly going to.
But before that, I thought about posting my views tonight.
The episode was good. And Of course, intensity is always welcome in my view.
I really think I have some sort of twisted taste, for I have never been a fan of light hearted goody-goody stuff. (Trust me, I have tried changing tastes)
So when Myrah came in and was all sunshine, it didn't strike any chord whatsoever.
Myrah still is lukewarm in my heart, but I think I will give her the leeway and NOT mention anything about Paro inside my heart, so that I can write this post objectively.
Why am I doing that?
Because I love my show too much to really see it shutting down and I swear to god I have nothing else to watch on 9.30 and I probably will be scarred forever if my Rudra Banna disappears from my screen.
So on with it.
The Heli Mhaari prank. Myra my Love, sometimes, it is good to be childish, and sometimes it is not. What I am going to ask you, is a simple question. Why does the EXISTENCE of Rudra, rile you up this much? Why is it that when he laughs at you, you get irked up to the level of taking revenge, without thinking of the consequences? Why is it that you have cried TWICE for this man. TWICE that you have hurt him, and TWICE you have cried.
I also want to ask you, did the man say things that hit hard and hit home? You know nothing about love, right? You know nothing about the true essence of a marriage either. You know nothing about what it means to spend your whole life with a man and share and open your heart to him and deal with his heart as well. You know nothing, absolutely nothing about marriage.
And here you are, going to be in a wedding in ten days. Not a marriage, a wedding.
I feel sorry, awfully sorry for the way Rudra was raw and absolutely brutal with you. But the thing is, nobody except him will open your eyes and make the fact glare into your face that you know NOTHING about this and you're going into this wedding, not a marriage.
You can try and be giggly all you want. But sometimes, things gnaw. And then they become unbearable until you start a journey to find your true self and carefully UNDERSTAND what you want.
Rudra - My love. My eternal love. You are certainly the certified most tortured character in the whole tellydom. And yet, I pray everyday that your pain ends, and if not ends, it at least subsides. Watching you in pain, I cry everyday. Trust me, it looks funny to outsiders, my family, when I cry for you. When my eyes get wet watching that haunted look on your face when Paro's voice reverberates in the hall of the Haveli. I watch you, writhing in pain and screaming nonstop so that the voices inside your head don't bother you anymore. I see that the snide remarks at Myra are nothing but hollow screams which mask your cries for help. I see that you blame and suffer every single waking moment of your life because she... your life, isn't with you anymore.
I see you screaming at the poor blank and completely clueless girl to change her face. But then, I see you stopping yourself, and regretting what you just said. The face you loved, is on a complete stranger. And I cannot imagine the scarring and the conflicts going on inside your heart, your personal hell.
Tonight, when Myra asked you why you hate her so much, why were you blank?
Why could you not tell her that she is not at fault. And that you do not hate her?
You hate yourself. You hate your own failure. You hate the fact that Myra roams around you pushing the fact in your face that you were unable to save your one true soulmate. You hate yourself. And you hate yourself with a vengeance.
And that hatred is of no use my love. Either attain peace by moving on, or by ending it all. Wallowing in pain and hatred and self loathing is more than even YOU can handle.
P. S. - No idea what I wrote. The episode made me write stuff. I am glad it did. It wasn't making me do that for so long.
Ciao.
Happy Weekend Lovelies!
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