Sandhir SS ~ Sanyukta's Diaries (The feeling Called Luv pg-9) Updated

Dear Diary,

They say that when you wish for something too badly... the entire world conspires to bring that thing to you... reminds you of the Alchemist's Theory ???

Well, for me it was always my engineering. I have braved my way through an engagement with Sameer, yeah that boy who my dad thought was an ideal match for me. But obviously he didn't think too highly of my aspirations. How on earth could I ever convince him about what engineering meant for me?

But nevertheless he is history now J yes ! the Alchemist's Theory worked for me too J Just a day before our engagement my father stumbled upon a common family friend who disclosed such facts about Sameer's family and my father realised he was pushing me to dungeons. Thank you God !!!!!! Thank you... Thank you ... Thank you... Now I am back in FITE for good.

My coming back to FITE may safely be termed as a second inning, with whole new set of opportunities and...friends. Yeah... Randhir and I are friends now. How ???? that again is history J J J. But I must admit that I have never had a funnier friend.

He is all chirping one moment and suddenly he is sulking. Why? Because, I spent a minute extra discussing the latest movie's trailer with Parth. Sometimes he is so protective that he will not let anyone speak a word about me and at times he respects me enough to let me fight my own battles. The other day he almost twisted Sahil's wrist to a breaking point because he laughed off my new blond hair color. And the very next day, he allowed me to face the competitors from LITS and prove my mettle all by myself. Its so amazing that he understands where I need his support and where I need to be on my own. At latter occasions, I can see the fire in his eyes though... the restlessness at not being able to stand up for me; for letting me brave the world all by myself.

I hope he understands that I am able to go all out and challenge the world only because I know someone behind me is not going to fail me. I know that, I can count on him - the one person who will be there to hold me if I stumble. He has always done so; even when we were not friends.

But, I don't know what has come over him since last couple of days. The other day he was sitting in the canteen, when I walked in and sat beside him. I remember that like always in the recent days I sat close enough to him that my arm rubbed against his. And he immediately pulled his arm back ???

Hey Randhir!!! What are you upto? Didn't attend the morning lecture? You OK ??' I asked him.

He looked admonishingly at me and said in his very husky voice, None of your businesses Sanyukta. Just mind your own job.' And stood upto to leave.

I too stood up shrugging, Arre! We are friends right. So your business is my business. Common now tell me.' I insisted, but received a staunch look from him.

I have seen Randhir seething with anger for like everyday of my life for two years at FITE. I know when he is trying to throw attitude, or is jealous or just being rude. But that day, it seemed different. It seemed as if he had decided to act cold. But why? I don't know why? But I decided that I will find out...

As surreptitiously as he may decide to act, but he cannot ignore me. Hmmm... Mr. Randhir Singh Shekhawat ! You are incapable of ignoring my presence in your life. You could never ignore me even when we were not the best of friends, and your thinking that you can keep yourself detached from me now is a laughably naive thought. (I don't know why I say this so confidently, but I am confident when I say this!)

The other day, I lost my debit card. I was in tears because I had to buy a new laptop immediately. With the debit card gone, I was really panicking as my PKC's assignment would suffer. But then appeared Randhir and started consoling me in his typical angry young man style, Rone se kuch nahi hota Sanyukta. Ab rona band karo.' He held me by my wrist and started pulling me along with him towards the parking. Seriously, I don't understand you Sanyukta. At the most difficult of times you are so strong as Jhansi ki Rani. And this, you are crying for such a trivial problem as if hell has broken loose. Arre baba, we'll get your card blocked and request for a new one. About your new laptop! Let's go and buy one right away' he said as he pulled out his own credit card and swayed it in the air like a Japanese fan. The smirk on his face shouted out loud to me, Don't worry dear, when Randhir is here.' And I smiled back at him nervously, but my soul was dancing that my old Randhir was back...(My Randhir ????????? Whatz wrong with me ??????)

Next day, after PKC's lecture, I ran upto him to thank him and invite him for a coffee. He turned, but there he went again. The shield was back. It looked like he had smothered himself with a layer of intended indifference.

After a couple of days of his disconcerting behaviour I have realised that he is making a conscious attempt to distance away himself from me. He has been angry with me earlier, but everytime his agitation has been impulsively evident. He never had the patience to express the real reason for his displeasure; rather he would take to attacking me verbally on the first opportunity presented to him. But this time it's a cold hearted attempt to keep me away from himself. I am missing that always fierce Randhir, who is ready to jump into action from the word go; especially wherever it concerns me.

But wait a minute, why am I thinking about him so much. If he does not want to remain friends with me, let him suit himself. I am sure I shall not die with him not speaking to me from now on. I have my other set of friends - there's Kaustu, Jiggy, Sahil and now there's Parth too. But something feels amiss. Why do my thoughts keep wandering to figure out the reason for his confusing behaviour? Why do I keep turning back to see him in the class, incase he is looking at me? Why do I continuously keep guessing as to whatever he might be upto with his snooty attitude? Is it that he thinks that I am not worthy of his friendship? But then in that case he never finds anyone worthy of his friendship, and thus leads a forlorn life. Snob !!! I think this description suits you well Randhir, you are doomed to solitude!!!

Arghhh !!! But why is this unsettling feeling gripping me so bad? Let me just be and return the cold shoulder to him.

Tell me soon how you liked it... and do drop in your predictions for Sanyukta's future diary entries 😳 Waiting