Originally posted by: Morning_Dew
This topic is somehow considered a feminist topic.. and many of our male friends dont like to comment on this ... as if blame is on all men .. Though it is not true. it is just like the case of bank robery where you find more men involved compare to women . Not every man rob a bank .. same way not every man batter his wife.
Excellent topic Dewey 👏 👏 This topic is very close to my heart for being a woman. Agree not all men are robbers and abusers 😳
While reading some discussion about this topic I came across certian points which were discussed. I would like to ask same questions to all of you .. plz do respond what you really feel about this problem .. you can add any experience or example which you observed sometime in your life after the answers
I am not an expert in this subject but from what I know and have seen I am answering your questions 😃
- Do you think it is not true that only Men are batterers ?
Not all men are batters. SOme women are abusers too. But more common in men than women I think.
2. it easy to see one specific pattern among batterers and we can predict somehow about the situation ?
Well usually Abusers have been abused, molested or traumatized by someone when they were very young. Usually that legacy is carried on and there is pattern one can see. Usually history repeats itself unless taken professional help.
Possibly coming from broken family where there has not been a Role Model father figure. Fathers are the ones who make the sons turn into men. It is extrmely important for father-son to have very good relationship.
3. It is true that most of the problem occur because of poor anger management of batterers?
Not only poor anger management but something which may have happened to the person in past which triggers this act of anger and violence. Their defensive mechanism is always on. Poor selfesteam, insecurities and not feeling good about themselves in someways 😳.
4. Do you think Psychotherapy is a more effective treatment than prison ?
Not an expert again but Combination probably would be the best option.
5. Is it true that women often provoke men into battering them ?
I do not think so. That is a lame excuse IMHO. No one can make anyone do something which they do not want to do. Anyone can provoke anyone by doing anything but the final control is in your hand how one wants to react to it. If Can't take it than just walk away IMHO.
6. Women who stay in abusive relationship specially in north america with full awareness of social services must be crazy ?
Women are abused everywhere not only in No. America. In our own coutry India-Pakistan this has been happening for a long time. We just don't want to talk about it and face it. Only in NO. America it is talked about and it is out in open due to awareness by organizations like "SAHARA"
I don't think these women are crazy at all. It is easy to call someone crazy look in from outside. Only the women who are in that situation know what they are going thru. Their self esteem and confidence is so much broken by the abuser that they don't even think they are worthy of anyone's love or affection let alone protection. They are killed from within. Along with their body their soul is damaged by the abuse. They also are scared for their lives, and children's lives if they have any. This is not as simple as we think. It is much more complicated than just saying that such abused women should pack up and leave.
Is it true that battered women could stop battering by changing their own behavior?
Yes. With good Couselling & Loving one self builds confidence and self esteem in women. This will help them the way they think and take decisions which in turn will display new changed behavior. It is long process but it is very much doable. Love and support of family and friends is a must along with professional help.
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