Hey
Black by me.. Blue by mango š
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Shoot! dammit!
Seriously.. Jai needs help pulling the trigger!
Heres a simple process..
1. Hold the gun at the person or object
2. Hold it at arms length
2.25 - Slowly look upwards whilst removing your sunglasses and then look casually at the victim before saying "chall shyaane, tere ka koi aakhri khwaish ho toh jhaldi apun ko bataa de"
2.5 - Whilst the victim is delivering an emotional speech and making the last request, take absolutely no notice and instead, use that time to ring a take away and order yourself a curry for tonight
2.75 - Before the emotional request has finished, stare at the victim looking angry and confused... Then cut the victim off saying "Aye, tere ko apun yeda lagta hai kya??? Dekh...apun ka bheja matt phira! Tera yeh speech sun ke apun bored ho reiylaa hai... baaki ke speech upar waala ko sunna de! Ab tere ko tapka ne ka time ho gailya re!"
3. With the fingers that are around the trigger.. Press inwards [it releases the bullet that way]
4. Watch a shocked face...
Zoooooooooooooooooooooooom and Shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum
5. ta da you have accomplised the 1st task..
6. Phone the take away again and tell them to throw in a some extra spices into the curry.
2nd task - hiding the body
1. Firstly, get the body and give it a quick check to see its stilll dead and is not playin dead š
1.5 - If the person is dead, check the pockets and take any cash you can find. If the person is alive, tell them that you will take them to a hospital if they give you all the money they are carrying... then take the money and tell them that you cannot call an ambulence because your mobile phone is out of battery.
2. Get a looooong rice bag and empty the rice and place the body inside it..
2.5 - Phone your friend's wife and tell her to send your mate over to pick up the rice so that she can make biryani for you to eat along with the curry from the take away. If she refuses, then consider going back to part 1 with the new target being the friend's unappreciative wife...
3. Place the body in the car boot.. i knw it wont fit but it will with a bit of force.. start the car
3.5 If there is no petrol in the car, phone you friend's wife again and get her to tell your mate to bring along a flask to petrol when he comes to collect the rice.
4. find a good forest.. im sure theres a few nearby.. take the body out.. give it a good swing and release..
4.25 - If you can't lift the body that well, then try again but this time whilst chanting the ancient mantra for stength... "zor laga ke HAIYAAAA!"
4.5 - Pull out a loud speaker and announce "to all the bears in the forest - as a token of peace, I have decided to bring over some fresh food for you guys. As for the quality of the food, I guarentee that it is the freshest and best food you will ever taste in your life... and if there are any police or civilians that are currently listening to this announcement, keep in mind that I have just downed 4 bottles of vodka..."
4.75 - After the bears have eaten up the offering, instead of offering to wash their forks and knives for them, scream to them "I love you guys!" and then do the dance to Salman Khan's "O-o jaane jaana, dhoonde tujhe deewana"...
5. Wave goodbye, clap your hands clean and reenter the car.. and start whistling... and make sure the tune is 'kal ho naa ho'...
6. Go down to the nearest food outlet and buy urself some party food.. š actually if you follow the additional steps that I've provided, you can simply collect the food from the take away and pay using the "donation" taken from the victim...
7. Enter home and celebrate! Actually, go to your friend's house because the biryani should be ready by then...
See its not that hard! šš
Henna x
PS.. only for fun.. i do NOT encourage violence.. š
PPS Helped by mango š
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Cricket
