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this is just a random piece of writing. i wrote it around 2 to 3 days back but couldnt upload it... i am not sure whether it is good enough to share with you guys or not... i dont know why i wrote... infact what i wrote... so its upto your guys... read it and tell me did you like it... đł đł
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i, ishita iyer, now mrs. ishita raman bhalla, always thought that im enough for myself, for my family and for anything that comes my way. i thought im capable enough in life to face every situation that comes my life. cmon i have my own reason for thinking like that, i was like an ordinary young girl when i met subbu and fell in love with him, atleast at that time i thought it was love. i dreamnt of getting amrried to him and spending my whole life with him and playing different roles thereafter. being someone's wife, someone's daughter in law, someone's bhabhi, someone's mother and so on. i was living with the whole fantasy thing planned in my mind and the best part was that i would live with my akka and my dearest jiju.
i still remember the day when i was getting engaged to shubbu. i was too excited and narvous that day that i couldnt even drink some water. i was called out and akka was taking me out for the ceremony, when things got blurred and moving and i fainted. i woke up in some doctor's clinic and subbu came and told me that it will be fine. i mist have not eaten anything thats why i fainted. but then the hell broke lose, the doctor informed us that there is some medical issue and i can never carry a child within me. something was terribly wrong with my fallopean tubes and i can never concieve... this thing was the least expected and it left me, my amma appa, akka, jiju, and subbu shock and numb. i wanted to cry but the shock was too much that tears werent ready to fall from my eyes. i dont know when things changed and subbu backed off leaving me alone. he was the one who promised me everything once and now he was the first one to leave me side and go away. i should have cried over the lose but i decided to not let myself break. i remained strong for my family but every night i cried thinking that i can never have a kid of my own, i will never be able to feel the phase of motherhood that every woman goes through, i will never be able to experience the happiness of carrying my child in my womb.
soon i recoved and after thinking for months, i decided that i want a child no matter what. adoption was the only option i had that time and i knew no man would marry a woman like me... a woman who cant even give birth to his children. i was incomplete but that doesnt mean i was weak and dependent. we shifted to delhi and i set up my new clinic there. one day when i was returning home, i saw one little girl on the road. i looked at her and smiled seeing how cute she was but soon i realised that a car was coming towards that little girl and that little girl was unaware of all this as her attention was on a puppy she was holding in her little hands. i ran up to that girl and saved her. she got scared but soon she recovered and looked at me. i asked her to be careful and if someone was there with her. before she could answer, a woman came running towards us and told me that she was a maid who works in that little girl's house. i asked the little girl hername and she replied in her cute voice " ruhi.. '
so this was how i first met ruhi. my daughter, my only child, my everything. it is correct to say that meeting ruhi changed my life. one meeting led to another and it further led to another one. we kept on meeting and i became very close and attached to ruhi, my little angel. ruhi filled the void i had in my life. i craved for a child and ruhi craved for her mother and mother's love. we were meant to be... ruhi and i were destined to meet. soon with the flow of circumstances and time, i got married to THE raman bhalla... ohh god i found him so irritating, annoying, arrogant, rude, selfish. and self-centered. its not like that my opinion about him has changed right now... but i can say i now know raman a bit more... i know why he is like this... i know why he is so detached from his family and ruhi. i still remember how he used to distance himself from ruhi. ruhi used to remind raman of shagun, his first wife; so raman ignored ruhi as much as he can. but that custody case made raman realise who importnat ruhi is to him, to his family and to me. now ruhi is the apple of his eye and i love seeing the bond they share. but still i see that raman misses adi a lot. infact adi is raman's weakness and shagun and ashok seem to use to it very often against raman. but i promise myself that i will do something regarding this one day... i cant raman be a toy in the hands of shagun and ashok. apart from this little thing, i think we are complete. ruhi, raman and i... we are a complete family...
life was going smooth when i brought simi and her husband, parmeet back into her home. they were some issues, which got solved up, thanks to raman. i was happy that now simi will be happy in her life as parmeet ji is back and they will also be a happy family. but from the last few days, i started feeling uncomfortable around parmeet ji. the way he used to look at me, the way he used to come close to me... his touch was definitely not a good one, it gave me bad vibe and i felt uncomfortable undr his gaze. earlier i thought i was over reacting but parmeet ji's closeness, his deliberate closeness proved me wrong. i tried avoiding him as much as possible but on second thoughts, how is it even possible when we live under the same roof.
today morning raman left for mumbai for some conference. i wore the green dress he and ruhi brought for me. i wanted to show me that i fitted well in that 'S' size. i wanted to prove him wrong though i hate to admit that he was right. its not that i have gained weight or something, but i think there was some defect in that dress, so i altered it. raman came back home, as his flight got delayed and he saw me in the dress. i almost made him believe that i wore that s size green dress until he found the thread and needle box on the floor under the sofa. we had a cute moment where as usual he teased and taunted me. i never shared it with someone, but i love this taunting cum teasing sessions with raman. these little nok jhoks are the essence of our relationship, our marriage. raman went and i took ruhi for her admission in shravu's school. my baby really did well in the interview and im proud of my ruhi. at night when i came into my room, someone hugged me from behind and pulled me towards him. i got really scared and struggled within arms and i found out that it was parmeet ji. i tried pushing him away but he was more stronger than me. i gathered all the energy in my body and pushed him away. i confronted him and he for the first time clearly told me that he wanted me. i was disgusted and ran out of the room and directy went to mummy ji. simi was also there with mummy ji and i thought its better that simi is present there. i told them what parmeet ji was doing with me, how she was molesting me but simi and mummy ji didnt believe me or my words, rather they believed parmeet ji and blamed me asking me to forget all this and never talk about all this in front of any other member of the family.
i was disheartened and scared... i was numb, unable to think what should i do next. i was scared to sleep alone in my bedroom and then god sent ruhi to me. i had my ruhi with me in my arms and all my fear was gone but i was still missing raman. yes i married raman for ruhi's sake but today i realise that i have accepted him as my husband. after whatever happened today, i wanted my husband to be with me, i wanted him to believe me and trust me. i needed to talk to raman but unfortunately i couldnt reach him. late at night, raman called me and i talked to him for an hour, i suppose. talking to him gave me a weird sense of satisfaction and some power to go on. that moment i realised that how important a husband is important for a wife... and it the trust and understanding that counts. if we cannot understand a person, we cannot trust him and without trust there can be no love. "love" where did this come from, i wonder...
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if you guys are able to cope with this, i can think of getting another part... totally upto you guys...
anyways this is the index of my work on ishra
naina
Debate Mansion
Pati Patni Aur Panga
10