Part 18:
All around, all there was... was darkness.
Suddenly, he saw a light flash ahead of him.
He tried to open his eyes... Slowly, he succeeded.
"Abbu?!" he croaked out in surprise.
**********
Zoya sat nestled amongst Humeira, Najma and Karan, her head lolling on Karan's shoulder as she dozed off from pure exhaustion. Anjali and Dilshad sat together in another corner, and Ayaan and Arjun paced relentlessly. Tanveer and Razia sat on the other side of Dilshad, staring into space, and waiting for news. Just like everyone else.
Everyone had tried to get Zoya to go home to rest for some time, but she refused. Ayaan had asked Humeira to bring by a change of clothes for her but again, she had refused while running her hands over Asad's dried blood on her saree distractedly.
She lifted her head up suddenly and rose from Karan and Humeira's hold. "Zoya...?" Humeira asked while she, Karan and Najma exchanged worried glances. "Please excuse me... I need to go" she said so softly that they could barely hear her.
She started walking out of the waiting room. It had been four hours since the doctor had last come to them.
Karan stood up and went to her. "Zoya, where are you going?" he asked gently. "The temple... I need to pray" she said. He nodded and started walking with her, but she halted and placed her hand on his arm.
"I need to be alone, please. I will be fine" she said to the room of people looking at her worriedly. "Let someone come with you, beta" Dilshad sniffed. Zoya looked at Dilshad.
She'd been so wrapped up in her anguish and pain that she had failed to notice what everyone else was going through. She went to kneel in front of Dilshad.
"Ammi, he's going to be fine. Just fine..." she said, placing her head in Dilshad's lap. Dilshad stroked Zoya's hair. "I know he will be, too" she whispered.
***********
Zoya finally left with Karan, Najma, Humeira and Tanveer to the temple. Stopping outside, she looked at Tanveer. "You're... coming in?" she asked unsurely.
Tanveer smiled a sad smile at her. "Zoya... what's happened in the past, I hope we can leave it there and start afresh. After all, Asad is my family and you are his wife. I-I am so sorry for everything!" she said hoarsely, holding back her tears.
Zoya nodded. "And yes, I will come with you into the temple to pray for your Asad" she said. Zoya, taken aback by everything she said, launched herself forward and hugged Tanveer tightly.
It is true that in trying circumstances, you see people's true colours, and seeing Tanveer's true colours had brought a semblance of silver lining to an otherwise very cloudy day.
**********
The doctor walked back into the waiting room and faced everyone's expectant gazes. Just then, Zoya walked with Tanveer holding her hand tightly. Najma, Humeira and Karan followed close behind. The doctor smiled in relief at Zoya.
"We managed to get the bullet out. He is out of surgery and we've moved him to a private ward" he said. Zoya started crying softly again, and clutched onto Karan and Najma.
"But..." the doctor continued, making Zoya whip her head up to face him "... the next four hours are critical. We've sedated him to control the shock to his system. It was a very long and arduous procedure" the doctor said.
"Can I, I mean, can we see him?" Zoya asked. The doctor smiled. "One or two at a time, but please... no stress"
Ayaan went to the doctor and shook his hand. "Thank you, doctor" he said.
Zoya looked to Dilshad. "Ammi, you go in first" she said. Dilshad went to Zoya and cupped her cheek. "Are you sure, Zoya?" she asked softly. Zoya nodded and swiped at her tears that wouldn't stop. "I-I need a moment" she said.
Dilshad and Najma left then to see Asad, and Zoya crumpled into her father's waiting arms. He soothed her, rubbing her back lightly. "Dad, I do love him" she whispered. "I know, I know baby" he whispered back, feeling relief and happiness for his daughter.
**********
Zoya had managed to compose herself just when Dilshad and Najma re-entered the waiting room. They had been crying once again, she noted. "Ammi?" Zoya asked tentatively. "He's... just so... quiet" she said and started sobbing once again.
Karan and Ayaan went to her and she smiled at them affectionately through her tears. "Zoya, go beta" Dilshad urged her. With heavy steps, she made her way to Asad's ward. Taking a deep breath, she opened his door softly and stood rooted to the spot as she entered.
She choked back a sob as she looked at him. He looked so peaceful... so quiet. There were tubes coming out of his nose and an IV in his arm; he was hooked up to so many machines and monitors. But the steady beeping of the heart rate monitor slowed Zoya's own heartbeat down as she realise with faint relief that it meant he was alive.
She walked up to his bed and stroked his cheek lovingly. "Mr Khan. Won't you wake up now?" she asked softly. "Your... Zoya is here. I'm waiting for you to open your eyes. Look at me, so I can tell you..." she encouraged his sleeping form.
Nothing.
"Please, please don't leave me..." she sobbed quietly as she gingerly took his hand in hers, bringing it to her lips. She placed a soft kiss on his palm and sat down in the chair next to his bed.
**********
"Abbu, what are you...?" Asad asked brokenly, watching his father hold out his arms to him. Rashid just smiled and nodded to urge Asad into his hold. Not thinking further, Asad crashed into his father's arms.
"But..." he said when they pulled away. "Come, sit beta" Rashid said, taking Asad's hand and leading him to two chairs. They were in a small room; everything white, including the chairs they sat on.
"Asad... do you remember anything? How you got here?" his father asked him. Asad started shaking his head, but then stopped abruptly. "I... I was shot! They-they were trying... they were going to shoot Zoya, Abbu!" he suddenly remembered. He held his father's hands tightly.
"Is she ok? Where is she? They didn't...?" he shot these questions at his father. Rashid shook his head with a slight smile. "They didn't... but it is up to you whether she will ever be fine again..." Rashid said cryptically.
Asad was about to ask him what he meant, but then the startled look on his face sobered.
"That means... if you're here, that means... I'm...?" Asad asked, closing his eyes. Rashid patted his hand. "No... you're not. But you have to fight, Asad. I'm here... to help you" he said.
"Come with me, I have something to show you" he told Asad, guiding him out of the room, where they stepped into a long corridor.
**********
Asad looked around. "Where are we?" he asked confusedly.
"Call it... memory lane. I was here too, not so long ago. But I couldn't pull through, Asad. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I am so sorry" Rashid said, tears in his eyes. "No Abbu, don't..." Asad said, wiping away his father's tears.
He looked stronger suddenly. "Tell me what I have to do" he said.
Rashid pointed down the long corridor. There were windows all the way down, as far as they could see.
"Come" he said, holding Asad's hand and leading him to the first window. Asad looked in and turned back to his father to smile.
There was Dilshad lying in a hospital bed, holding her newborn baby. Rashid leaned next to her and kissed the baby's forehead. "That's you right there" Rashid whispered from behind him.
"Isn't he beautiful, Rashid? The most beautiful baby in the world..." Dilshad said, her eyes rose-tinted with love for her firstborn. "He most certainly is. You're Abbu's boy, aren't you?" Rashid coo'ed and was met with a blink of baby Asad's eyes. Dilshad chuckled.
At the next window, Asad glanced in and smiled yet again. Dilshad was singing a lullaby to put him to sleep while a baby Najma lay next to him. He saw how little Asad looked at Najma with such love and then his face changed suddenly.
"Eeuwww Ammi, she's spitting on me!" Asad whined when Najma's sleep drool oozed onto his arm.
Rashid, who stood by the bedroom door watching them, walked in then and explained what had happened. Asad glared at Najma. "I will teach her not to do that anymore" he huffed making both his parents laugh at him.
"Want to see more?' Rashid asked him. Asad nodded enthusiastically. They moved to the next window.
Asad looked onto his primary school playground... it was teeming with kids. Finally, Ayaan and him came into view. Asad had been a loner; a quiet boy who only had time for books. He sat alone against a tree in the playground, eating his lunch quietly.
"Hey!" came a loud voice from behind him. Asad got a fright and nearly dropped his sandwich. "What are you doing here all by yourself?" Ayaan asked. He was the total opposite of Asad. His hair was unruly, he was loud, his shirt un-tucked from his uniform pants. Asad was always immaculately put out. Never a hair out of place, and shirt not tucked in? Never!
"I'm always alone" Asad muttered, annoyed at the loud intruder on his quiet time. Ayaan ignored his obvious irritation and sat down next to him. "I'm new here. Today's my first day, so I am alone like you" Ayaan said, ruffling his hair. Asad watched him as he eyed his sandwich hungrily. He handed one to Ayaan and they sat together sharing Asad's lunch in silence for the rest of their lunch break.
Asad turned to Rashid now. "I'm so glad I did that, Abbu. Ayaan is my best friend" he said.
Rashid nodded knowingly. Ayaan had become a part of their family. Rashid reminisced about the meeting he'd had with Asad's teacher when he went to pick him up from school a few days later.
"I'm glad Asad has made friends with the new boy. He's from an extremely poor family. His father left them when he was just a baby, and his mother has a terminal illness" Even at age 11, Ayaan worked hard to get himself through school.
Asad looked at Rashid. "It took us some time to get past sharing our lunch in silence, but that boy... he finally got me to talk to him" Asad chuckled. Rashid nodded knowingly.
A few years later when Ayaan lost his mother to her dreaded disease, the Khans had helped him through it. Because f his fierce independence, he had insisted he would stay in his mother's home and not move in with them, but it didn't stop Dilshad from forcing him to have dinner with them every night.
The next window showed Asad sitting in front of the TV in his lounge. Everything was quiet, it didn't seem as though anyone else was home. Asad flipped through the channels mindlessly. His memory jarred. He knew this; what day this was.
The front door swung open and Dilshad walked in with a shocked barely teenage Tanveer. Asad instinctively got up from his seat on the couch and went to them. He had heard what happened to Tanveer's father. Dilshad shook her head at him as if to say, "Not now" and so he relented. The scene changed to Tanveer's room, the former guest room, now that she would be living with them.
Asad knocked at the door. "Tanu? May I come in?" he asked. Present day Asad looked intently through the window at a shocked Tanveer who didn't respond to his request.
He went in anyway and sat down next to her. They'd been friends since they were very young and Tanveer, despite whatever she had been through, had always been a happy girl. It frightened Asad to see her this way.
He brought out the flowers from behind his back and showed them to her. Still nothing. "Najma picked them out from our garden. Don't tell Ammi, ok? Or she'll get cross" he said conspiratorially. Tanveer finally looked at him and smiled. He held his arms out to her and she fell into them crying.
"Asad, I miss Abbu. So much already" she sniffed. He pulled away from the hug and looked at her. "Tanu, you'll never forget your Abbu or his love, but I can promise you we'll love you just as much and you are always part of our family" he said. She smiled at him through her tears.
At the next window, Asad chuckled as he once again remembered the scene. Najma had been upset with him because Ayaan, Tanveer and Asad were going on a camping trip with Rashid and she was too little to join them.
He went to sit next to her on her bed before they could head out. She pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not talking to you!" she snapped.
"So what? I'm talking to you, Princess" he shrugged. "What?" she asked, without looking at him. He tugged at her hand. "I want to show you something" he said, pulling her off the bed and to his window. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw Ayaan and Tanveer get into the car with Rashid and Dilshad wave them off as he drove away.
"Bhaijaan! They forgot you!" she gasped. Asad laughed. "They didn't forget me. I told them to go on. I will camp with my Princess tonight, in the backyard" he smiled. "Really?" Najma squealed with excitement. Asad nodded. She hugged him fiercely. "If you kill me with your mighty hug, we can't camp!" he said, pretending that he's choking.
She laughed and then looked at him sadly with tears in her eyes. "But you were so looking forward to camping, Bhaijaan" she said softly. "I was, but it wasn't more important than you. Now, come on. We have lots to get ready for later" he said.
Rashid looked at his son. "That was so mature of you, Asad" Rashid said. Asad shook his head. "It was nothing, Abbu. And I still look forward to my camping trip with Najma every year" he smiled.
He stopped walking and looked at Rashid. "I need to get back to Zoya, Abbu. To Ayaan, Najma, Ammi, everyone" Asad said, desperation seeping into his hoarse voice.
"Not yet. It's not time for the decision yet. Let's keep walking, shall we?" Rashid said. Asad looked at his father walking ahead without him, and jogged to catch up until they were at another window.
Asad looked inside and smiled yet again. It was his graduation day. He remembered being so nervous and hating every second of being up on that stage. But his nervousness had dissipated when he caught his father's eye in the crowd. Rashid showed him a thumbs up sign and Asad was suddenly happy and free of his nervousness. He gave his family a small smile as he was handed his certificate of merit.
"I was so proud that day, Asad. You've always made me proud, beta" Rashid said, patting Asad's shoulder.
"Next one?" Rashid asked and Asad shrugged. He'd seen enough, He just wanted to go back to everyone now.
But he sucked in a sharp breath at the next window. There was... his Zoya, at her first engagement with that... Kapoor. Asad clenched his fists tightly at the thought. Looking in from the outside now, even he knew he'd been smitten from the first time he'd set eyes on her. And when she opened up that sassy mouth of hers? He was a goner.
He watched as Ritesh tried to kiss her; how scared she looked. She never reacted that way with him. "Of course not, Asad... with you, it's always been different" he heard her voice in his head. Shaking it, he tried to concentrate on the scene through the window.
He watched as she held his wrist at the launch party and told him she would pray for his Abbu. How his heart had galloped at her words. Next, he watched himself being mesmerised by watching her eat in her kitchen. He smiled and remembered it well.
If no one else was around that day, there would've been nothing to stop him from going up to her and feeding her with his own hand. He closed his eyes as he remembered how she'd licked her fingers after devouring that pastry.
He kept walking.
The next window showed Zoya in his arms outside the college dorm room. How beautiful she'd looked in that baby pink saree, with her hair braided to the side. He remembered how she had felt in his arms. Then he saw them in the backseat of the car, sleeping peacefully with her head on his shoulder and his against hers.
At the next window, he felt peace descend upon him as he watched Zoya call him when he got out of the car after burying Rashid. "I'm so sorry" she'd whispered and hugged him fiercely. He watched, spellbound as she closed her eyes, making him think that she was hugging him to erase his pain.
He swallowed the lump in his throat at the next window. He and Zoya were exchanging rings.
He walked faster to the next window.
Zoya sidled up to him in his backyard. "Maybe" she breathed. His head whipped around. "Zoya?" he called. He felt her; he swear he did.
He ran to the next window and held the wall as he looked in.
Zoya up against the wall upstairs in his home. Him against her. They were kissing. "I'll call you Mrs Khan" he said and Zoya had giggled shyly before running away from him and down the stairs.
Breathless, he ran to the next window. His heart sang. Seeing Zoya in her bridal attire again made his heart skip a beat.
"Qubool Hai" she said loudly and clearly.
He watched as they walked around the sacred fire.
He ran to the next window again. His heart sank.
"Wait, Mr Khan. I can explain-" He watched in anguish as he pushed her away from him; as she crumpled to the floor in a crying heap.
He turned to his father. "I was an animal..." he whispered, his voice choked with self-disgust.
"Asad... that doesn't matter right now" Rashid said, pointing to the next window.
Asad did as he was told.
He held Zoya by her shoulders. "Do you even realise what would happen to me if something happened to you?!"
He closed his eyes. Would she have reacted differently and not gone if he had uttered those three magical words to her instead?
He was panting by the time he reached the next window. They were nearly at the end of the corridor by now.
Asad watched as he caught sight of the gunman pointing at Zoya and without giving it another thought, he stepped in front of her to shield her. His last coherent memory was of Zoya screaming out his name. He watched as she held him to her, crying.
He stepped back from the window and turned to his father. "Abbu... I have to go, I'm sorry. I have to go back to her..." he whispered.
Rashid smiled and took Asad's hand. "Come with me then" he said and led Asad to the end of the corridor. There were more windows and Asad had wanted to peek in but Rashid shook his head. "Those memories are yet to be made, Asad" he said. They finally came to a door.
Asad looked at his father sadly. "Abbu... can't you, I mean... please?" he asked softly. "No beta. My time has come. I was just brought back here to guide you to where you need to be. Remember that. I'm always with you" he said, before pulling him into his arms for one last hug.
"What's behind the door?" Asad asked as they broke from the hug and looked at it.
Rashid smiled. "Want to see?" he asked and Asad nodded vigorously.
Rashid opened the door and stepped aside. Asad's eyes widened as he took in the sight before him. Zoya was standing there with her arms open for him, smiling. He frowned as he realised her white sari was streaked with blood.
"Asad...Take my hand?" she called to him in a faraway voice. He turned back to see his father smiling and nodding, encouraging him to go on.
Asad stepped forward into the doorway and looked at Zoya, taking her hand in his. "I love you, Zoya" he whispered, before everything went dark again.
**********
"I love you, Zoya..."
Zoya's head whipped up. "Mr Khan! Did you... are you awake?" she asked frantically. She could've sworn she'd heard him say... No. She was tired, upset and she wasn't thinking clearly.
She got up and was about to call the doctor, when Asad squeezed her hand that was joined with his still. She turned to look at him. He fluttered his eyes open and forced a small smile. "I love you, Zoya" he choked out in his raspy voice.
Her tears gave way as she leaned towards him. She nuzzled her cheek against his. "Mr Khan, you're awake. You gave us the biggest fright. What's wrong with you? How could you do something like that?" she cried, her relief giving way to anger quite easily. Asad smiled again. "I said...I love you, Zoya" he managed to get out, ignoring her scolding.
"I hate you. How could you do that to me? Do you even realise what would happen to me if something happened to you?!" she sobbed, throwing his words back at him. He had nearly chuckled, but his chest hurt. "You... hate me?" he asked.
"Yes" she pouted, taking his hand in hers and rubbing it soothingly. "Mr Khan, don't you dare do something like that again. If... if something had happened to you... I couldn't live-" he cut her off by clamping his hand against her mouth. His eyes flashed anger. "Do NOT EVER say something like that again" he ordered, his voice and strength coming back to him.
He let his hand down tiredly and closed his eyes but opened them abruptly when he felt her lips on his. She pulled away, wiping away her errant tears of happiness that wouldn't stop.
"I love you too" she whispered, pecking his lips again lightly.
"Say it again, please?" he whispered.
She kissed his cheek. "I love you", then his other cheek, "I love you", then his nose, "I love you" and finally back to his lips. "I love you" she breathed against his lips.
He smiled his shy smile at her. "I love you, Zoya"
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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