TeekhiMishti thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1

Without further ado here is the first part of the story :) Yes you can see all the sadist streaks on here :P Hope you enjoy reading as much as we enjoyed writing it :)

PART 1

His punching bag lay broken at one end of the room. The mirror pieces fell shattered on the floor as the dumbell he threw at it had broken it to bits.

The culprit dumbell now sat silently beside the broken pieces having done its job.

Randhir singh shekhawat a broken man

just like the mirror pieces stood at the window sill staring into oblivion.

Her face kept appearing in front of his eyes no matter how hard he tried. The women whom he wanted to hate but couldn't. the person he wanted to ignore but couldn't.

Randhir beta' her voice kept echoing.

Today renuka sanyal the women god had deemed to be his mother had acted like the dumbell. Going to meet her had shattered Him to pieces. He never should have gone listening to that sanyukta. The sight he saw was still tormenting him. His parents bickering and quarrelling in front of his own eyes!

Randhir again picked up the dumbell aiming it at the door. But he lost his balance and the dumbbell fell straight to his toe. It started bleeding heavily. Randhir sat down holding his toe with both his hands.

His mind brought out an old unforgotten day back into focus.

--+-

"Maaa" a hurt randhir cried as he rushed towards renuka with his bruised and bleeding hand.

"Dekho ma us kabir ne mujhe gira diya. Its paining Ma. Mai uske saath kabhi nahi khelunga.

Ma please ise kissi deke theek kardo na jaise T.V .mei karte hai!"

"Maaa randhir" shouted to grab her attention when he saw her too engrossed in her laptop to not even notice him.

"Oh god randhir!Tum carpet pura ganda kardoge. Go get yourself bandaged from ramu kaka she said before she again turned her eyes to the laptop"

A dejected randhir left, his hazel orbs brimming with tears.

As he searched for his father in the huge house, he finally found him lying the bedroom with two empty bottles lying by and the third half filled in his hand.

Randhir ran to his room and locked himself inside crying himself to sleep cursing his fate.

What luck he had.! A mother who didn't have the time to care and a father who was never conscious enough to care.

---+---

In this whole wide world. He was all alone.

"Mai kal bhi akela tha. Aaj bhi akela hi hun. Nothings changed after all."

Just then he heard a noise. He turned to see the girl who was the root cause of all this standing infront of him.

THE SANYUKTA AGARWAL

Randhir looked at the girl eye to eye. He detested her to no lengths. She was the cause for all of his agony and pain right now. If only he hadn't listened to her. There was a sudden urge in him to stand up yank her towards the wall and slam her into it. But he was too weak to do any of that. He didn't have the strength to fight. Especially with her. She for some reason always saw through him. She always touched the sensitive parts where it hurt the most. And today he didn't have it in him to be hurt anymore.

Sanyukta stook there for a while scared at the sight before her. This wasn't randhir singh shekhawat rank no1 sitting in front of her. It was a broken person who seemed like he had lost his purpose in life. Sanyukta hated seeing him this way. This wasn't her randhir.

She had to get him out of this. This wasn't the time for him to break down. This was the time his mother needed him the most.

--+--

Few hours earlier

"Hello sanyukta"

"Hello renuka mam. How are you? How was your dinner with randhir?"

"Dinner with randhir? You mean he came here?"

"Yes ma'am, atleast I think he did! I talked to him and he had agreed for the same. Is everything alright ma'am?"

"Sanyukta Beta. Thank you for doing that for me. If you could convince him once maybe this time you could fully convince him to come meet me rather than return from the doorstep. I am in the hospital sanyukta. I am in the last stage of cancer. Doctors say I don't have any time left. Before I die I want one last evening with my son sanyukta. I want my randhir back. Please can you send him to me. Its my one last wish."

She hung up with tears in her eyes before sanyukta got a chance to reply back.

--+--

Sanyukta remembered the conversation becoming even more determined. She had to do this. For renuka mam if not for randhir.

"Hahaha" she laughed as her laughter boomed inside the hostel room.

"I think I should paint the word-loser inside your hostel room again. Look at yourself",she said as she clapped her hands together and started laughing harder.

Still there was no response from him.

"You are such a big loser. You call yourself rank no1? You can't even win your own moms attention. Haha"she laughed sarcastically.

"I pity you randhir, Becha..."

"Just shut up you..." He said as he got up slamming her to the wall giving in to his urge at last.

"Tumhari bakwas sun raha hun iska matlab yeh nahi ke tum kuch bhi bolti jaogi aur mai chup chap suntan rahunga.I am rank no 1 and I can do anything."

"Rank no 1 my foot. A scared ass coward person like you can never be no 1 randhir singh shekhawat. A person who cant be his own mom's at her last moment can never achieve anything ever."

"Last moment?"

"Your mother has cancer of the last stage Randhir. No matter what a son should know atleast this much about his mother."

"Don't call that women my mother. And I am not her son. She is nothing to me. he retorted back"
A range of emotions started gushing through his heart. Randhir didn't know what to feel at what he had just heard.Renuka sanyal his mother's words suddenly started making sense.

"Jab mai mar bhi rahi houngi mera beta mere saath hoga. I will not die a lonely r

egretful women."

"So what mere liye toh wo kabki mar chuki hai" retorted back . His ego in full swing not letting him feel any other emotions that were spurring up inside him.

"Randhir theres a limit to being an MCP as well. Just because your mother couldn't be there for you when you were a child you won't give her the satisfaction of being with her now? Doesn't a mother who gave birth to you even deserve that much? Don't you owe it to her. If you hurt her the same way she hurt you. What will be the difference between you and her. Don't be so petty randhir. Don't be a coward who isn't strong enough to forgive and forget. Go to your mother. She needs you."

+

Edited by --Ari-- - 11 years ago

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-Cascade- thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#2
Yipee... I'm to first to comment!!!! *does a small happy dance*
A collaboration of two brilliant and fantastic writers...
Can't wait to read it!!
I'm off to read the TS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gosh! The both of you are awesome... No wait! You guys are awesomest...!
Sadism at its peak... You guys really know how to manipulate the emotions of the readers, reducing their happy faces into mere pool of tears...
While reading the title or the brief introduction, I had no idea what course this story would be taking.
One thing is for sure that you guys have made me speechless (you guys always do so) and spell bound.
You guys have flawlessly and magnificently described the purest and the most virtuous bond of a child and his mother. Kudos to you guys...

Part 1-
A beautiful yet heart wrenching description of a heart broken son who is so much shattered that no force could ever heal him... I loved this description of Randhir.
His painful and regretful childhood was damn well portrayed. I could visualize each and every moment.
Sanyukta's role was portrayed with sheer finery. Though a mortal enemy, she was so much concerned about him. I like this Sanyukta and wish her to see like this in the show.
Though this was highly sadistic Ari dear, you took half of my heart away...

Part 2
Iptisha dear, my words fail to describe how amazingly you've written it.
You were as good as Ari, though I never knew you'll become a sadist just like her...
It stung my heart while reading the regretful and remorseful Randhir. Girl you are mindblowing...
The mother-son convo was so overwhelming that I couldn't stop crying.
Sanyukta as the backbone of a shattered Randhir was beautifully penned down. She reunited the once broken family...

You guys are the best as a team and an archetype of finest professional writers.
Damn! You both made me cry ...you should be named as Virtual Sadists...
P.S. Next time do inform everyone to keep their tissue boxes ready with them in advance...

-- With love
Kajal
Edited by --ScarletRed-- - 11 years ago
AnatomyAddict thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 11 years ago
#3
EDITED!
Baba! You took your time to update😆

Part 1!
Loved it, loved it, loved it, loved it!!!!!

The way you have portrayed the angst, the sorrow of being a neglected child was just amazing!
The flashback was just a cherry on top!

And didn't we all want Sanyukta to condole Randhir in that episode! But I really like the way you have twisted it, to take the story further!!!

Part 2:

Baba! you are sooo good at penning down emotions!!!!

I am speechless!!!! So I am just going to parcel you like kilos of chocolates!!!!!!

My fav line: "I shall always be there, even if you shove me away!"
Yep! Like I told you, I am going to imagine it all ended like a perfect fairy tale and he didn't walk away from her!

I wonder when the CVs should take cues from writers on the forum... People's ideas are brilliant! It's just magical

Aaah! Great job ladies! Get a bow!
Edited by gujjupari - 11 years ago
BeLi3Ve thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 11 years ago
#4
Res xD

-edited-

Ari di.. Your works are just perfect.. So I can't really tell you how beautiful it was..

Iptie.. Mind shuting up? It was BEAUTIFUL!!

And you say you cant write short stuffs, huh!!

Loved both the shots !!

Keep writing !

Loads of Love ❤️
Edited by Ms.P.K.Tunn - 11 years ago
Awesome-blossom thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5
Awesome 👏

Beautifully described 👍🏼

Waiting for stry to move on
Update asap ⭐️
Edited by Awesome-blossom - 11 years ago
Prizi thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#6
Hey this is soo anazing
renuka is dying.. Waiting fr nxt part
cont soon
Rekha85 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#7
Arifa and Ipthi!!!!!!!!
The update was awesum!!!!!!!!
Wat if this is true!!!!!!
She didn't look for het son for these years...and nw she is behnd him...the line she said to shekhawat!!!!!
I think their is sometruth in ur story!!!!!
Lets wait!
shalini_shakti thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#8
Awesome awesome awesome...
I'm speechless...!!!
"will be waiting for you" lovely title...
Iptisha ands Ari good job guys..!!
I was so touched after reading it...
Waiting for the next update..
Update ASAP...!!!
Lots of love,
Shalini
-.QTPie.- thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#9
This is amazing :D
Loved it...
u guys describe really well.
waiting for the next chapter
Pls update soon n Pm me as well

-WanderLust- thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#10
Beautifully Written. Waiting for the Story to Unravel...Great Work Guys! :)

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