Raman - Majboori or Choice? - Page 3

Originally posted by: krikumar.91

Happy that he included Ishu atleast there... Let us see if he changes himself for Ruhi...

Originally posted by: pyaaribehna

what majboori does raman have? in addition to the many things that he is raman is now confused as well. as a father he has the responsibility to correct adi . adi was trying to eat bhang and ashok and shagun did not notice it. ishita did and tried to stop adi. I mean they can use this point to get custody of adi. the custody does not depend on adi's wishes alone. in a public place the kid was unsupervised and he tried to eat an intoxicating food and his custodian was nowhere to be seen. he raman if he was as smart as he says he could have used this to fight for adi's custody. but no he makes ishita apologise to adi to get him to call him papa. adi changed his surname did n't he now what will raman do to make him change it back? make ishita do something else? who is ishita to him? what right does he have to make her do things that hurt her self esteem and insult her in public? does she not have the same right as well?

Originally posted by: Walden

I can see how what looks like a "choice" to outsiders may come as a "majboori" to Raman. Firstly, I am not a parent and so I cannot relate to or comment on what emotions and attachements come from being a parent. I know it is easy to say that Raman should just let go of Adi, but honestly, as a parent, I don't know how easy that is to do.

We all know that what Raman did yesterday was wrong and we can all see that this will not win him Adi's love or respect. But from Raman's point of view, it appears that he was the ideal loving yet firm parent to Adi way back when. And where did that get him? Despite doing everything right, it appears that it was so easy for Adi to walk away from Raman and believe all the lies that Shagun fed him. As a parent, I cannot imagine what it feels like when the child you loved and pampered so much walks away from you so easily. But I can imagine that any of this is bound to change you as a person, lead to irrational fears and guilt and make you behave in ways that appear unreasonable to the outside world but are justified in your own head thru a convoluted vortex of fears and insecurities.

Originally posted by: Gurmeet4Drashti

I completely agree ...

He actually can win back Adi's love and respect by carrying out different measures and shouldn't stoop low the next time in order to just hear his "son" say 'dad' !!!

Originally posted by: eternalasha

Originally posted by: Heema22

Sorry , I am late responding to your question .I have not been on the forum for last three days . Very busy life and different timezone don't help either .

Ramen is involved with two power struggle games . One with Aadi and other with Shagun and Ashok . They are woven together . To disengaged from power struggle you need great self esteem and self confidence . Ramen lacks both .It is important to understand that both people in a power struggle are trying to control - one overtly and one covertly. Challenge for Ramen is not getting hooked into fighting . The most effective response is a non-emotional, neutral response. If necessary, giving choices can be an effective way to stop the fight without resorting to threats. But ramen is a father it's impossible for him to forget his identity and love Addi . Parents cannot even pretend that they don't have a child . it's very painful so Addi is the reason, why Ramen is not able to disengage .