The Night...
She grabbed his hand that was wrapped around her elbow and tried to remove it, to release his strong hold but he was not budging. She refused to look at him and he didn't like it at all. "Jodha, please. I said I am sorry! Please look at me!" he turned her around. Jodha was now facing him, her head bowed, she was still trying to pry his fingers of her.
"I don't wish to speak about it anymore. There is nothing to be sorry of. If there is anyone that needs to apologise, it's me. I am sorry. I lied, you were right and you have punished me. You don't have to worry, I won't bother you anymore. I will leave, I will just leave!"
"Jodha," he grabbed her chin and titled her head up. He looked deep into her eyes, "don't be like this, I know I shouldn't have said all that. I was angry and worried. You were not ready to confide in me and I was worried for your safety. And when I thought you trust some one else more than me I couldn't control my temper. And you know I say stupid things in anger!"
Jodha didn't give in. She successfully released herself from his hold and stepped backward, distancing himself from him. Her eyes filled with unshed tears. "You said I was seeing another man! You suspected I was..," she sobbed and couldn't continue. Jalal was shocked, he had never seen her crying. She was trying hard to control her tears in front of him. Jalal couldn't see her hurting. "You were right, you know I am not good enough not only for your harem but also for your Sultanate and you," she laughed bitterly. "Like you said I can never be like Ruqaiyya Begum. I can never have your trust like her no matter what I do. I can almost die trying to save you, I can die worrying about your safety and give up my audha because I couldn't do anything else, worrying someone in the palace was trying to kill you but it's never enough! I can't make you believe me without proof and evidences like others. Someone like me doesn't deserve a place in your palace or your life. I am better of with my family with people who trust whatever I do, I think only of their well-being because I..because I love them."
Jalal was stunned hearing what she was implying, he moved forward to hold her. She distanced herself from his touch. "I am tired of trying. There is no assurance this would not happen again. Sometime you trust me but when I need you by my side the most you always...but it's alright I finally get it!" she turned and walked away, far away into the darkness.
He didn't know how long he stood there until he felt someone touched his shoulders. He turned around, "don't worry. She is just upset and very stubborn. She loves you a lot, Shehshah. Don't give up, she won't be able to live without you. Don't let her go," Sujamal smiled little and left Jalal with his thoughts.
He found her huddled, hugging her knees close to her chest under a tree next to the same pond, where he saved her sometime ago. She was adamant to go with Sujamal because he told her to leave. He couldn't convince her to return with him, damn his anger! He walked closer to her and sat beside her. She was crying, trying to muffle her sobs very hard. He was determined now, and turned her around. She gasped in surprise. He didn't budge this time. He continued to hold her as she was crying and struggling in his arms. He let her vent it out. He held her, she didn't welcome it at least not before lots of pushing and fisting into his hard chest. He took them all, she needed to get it out, the pain, hurt and he let her, absorbing everything she gave, mumbling sorry into her soft hair.
"I am sorry..I'm so sorry...for everything I did. I was jealous and so stupid I asked to leave because I thought I am trapping you in my castle. I thought I am putting you in a cage by marrying you when you didn't want it. I thought to set you free though I can't live without you," and he captured her lips. It was so intense and passionate as the man himself. He put every bit of his emotions, everything that he was capable of in his kiss. She whimpered feeling every bit of his urgency, couldn't help herself but to drown in the whirl pool of passion that he was creating in her. But the pain he gave was so deep and it screamed loudly in her head, she squirmed tried to release herself but he held her securely, "shh..it's ok..it's ok. I will keep you safe, let me ..please jaan trust me." Tears rolled down her cheeks, he kissed them softly and captured her lips again, a kiss full of promise, full of love so poignant, so beautiful that scared her.
Tiredness won over, she slumped against him. He took her into his arms gently, hugged her close to his heart then peppered her hair with small kisses and rubbed her back softly as she slept through the night in his arms. Next morning is going to bring new promises. He was going to make sure of it.
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Fan Fictions
