OS ZoHa ... Haider Centric (what I wished would happen)

sarbrathan thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1
I am not a writer AT ALL! Since I am not a writer criticism will not be taken well, so please be nice. Don't flatter me because I know I suck. I know I can't describe anything, but this is what I wish will happen. If an actual writer wants to take this idea and write a story PLEASE DO SO and PM me so I can read it. This is the first time I have written anything that is not an essay or a report for school. Instead of criticism or false flattery just tell me what you wish to happen post promo scene.


This is based on the April 1st Promo after Zoya says my father didn't kill anyone...

Zoya yells "My father didn't kill anyone!" Meanwhile Gaffur has tears in his eyes of guilt and desperation. Both his daughters are present, one whom he gave the world to and the other who he had wronged and is desperate to do at least one fatherly duty for. He is guilty because he knows he doesn't deserve her love or trust. Zoya's words are echoing in Haider's mind with only one thought occurring in his mind, she knows.

Zoya continues turning away from Asad and facing her newly found father saying "I know you aren't capable of such evil", then she goes on to hug him and add "I will standby you." Knowing the amount of hugs with his eldest daughter is limited he immediately hugs her back.

At that moment Haider comes out of his shock, which is now replace with unadulterated anger. "ENOUGH" he yells with his eyes blazing with rage, "How dare you hug her?!" Everyone looks at him puzzlingly and wondering why he is even saying something. He doesn't care! All he sees is blood red, for his past and present; red for his parents and aunt's blood. The duo stops hugging and Zoya holds onto her father's shoulder.

That was all the opening he needed, Haider charges for Gaffur and shakes him holding his collar yelling "I have never seen insolent, conniving, and despicable man like you! You have the guts to hug her and play with her feelings, knowing what you have done?" Zoya starts pushing him off Gaffur and Asad manages to pull him away and Zoya stands in front of her father.

Haider shakes his head with rage and continues, while no one tries to interrupt including Zoya after looking into his tumultuous eyes. "I never told her I am her brother because I didn't want to tell her the awful reality of her parents," His voice starts of low but every word is louder than the last, but after he utters reality' everyone can hear. Everyone is staying quiet because subconsciously they know it is better for him to continue uninterrupted and they will get their answers without asking any questions. "You on the other hand, sought undeserving forgiveness by taking advantage of the daughter you wronged! I don't know why I am so shocked by your wickedness but maybe some part of me thought you will at least spare Zoya... I guess I should be happy you aren't killing her like how you killed her mother."

Finally he looks at Zoya who goes numb and Asad easily pulls her to his side. Now Haider and Gaffur are standing without anyone in between, Haider eyes follow Zoya until he looks up and sees Asad nodding, indicating to continue. Satisfied his little sister has sufficient support he decides to reveal the entire truth. But his first priority is his little sister's marriage, which is now being threatened by this devious man. "What you couldn't tolerate her being happy and moving on in her life? You want her to remain alone and never know family or love? You lure her out reveal this truth when you find out she yearns for her father instead of hating him. Then you get your murderous wife to do what she does best, kill someone. Then you wanted to do what you do best, cover up murder. You didn't set your own house on fire since you were killing your arsonist, you thought to use your innocent daughter as a shield. Why should you care that in the process you will take away the family Allah has given her? You killed her father-in-law to protect yourself and you didn't care the repercussions it will cause in her married life. In fact, you are using her as your shield! But no more, I will tell everyone what happened 17 years ago." Haider gives an official oral statement (a/n I know there is no such thing in real life, but I really wanted everything out in the open and not "I will come down to the police station)which is recorded and the inspector says "it is enough to restart the investigation but we cannot arrest him based on 17 years ago eye testimony of a child."

Zoya finds her voice and asks her father one question "is it true?" Gaffur realizes he can't burden her more; it is easier if she completely hates him and views him as a complete villain like how Haider presented him. He couldn't screw with her mind anymore than he did in the last 17 years, by offering excuses for his behaviour. He gathers Razia murdered Rashid and she is framing him. He understands how Rashid felt when he walked out on his first family. Karma comes back unpredictably; Rashid got his revenge shortly after his death. Gaffur knows both Rashid and he were wrong and they deserve their punishment, him more than Rashid because he knew a lot more, so he could have done more. Failure to act when a sin happens is a sin on its own. He failed both his daughters, but right now he can do one thing for Zoya and ensure her and Asad live happily hereafter. He knows Zoya will take care of Humeira.

He failed his daughters but right now he can only do one thing for them, which is be a villain. With that thought he distances himself from both his daughter when he roars "you ruined my reputation. I followed everything you said and let you marry Humeira, so you don't ruin my reputation by plastering images of my daughter being a w***. What else do you want? You had your revenge by having me under your thumb? Imagine what jail would do to my reputation! You never had prestige, so you won't understand its importance! I will do everything I can to protect my reputation including killing my wives, after all I have three. As for my daughters, they are mine to use. I refuse to live with a tarnish reputation and go to jail." Before his voice gives out he huffs "Only Razia should go to jail because she is the one who killed Zainub" and incriminates his wife. He plays the villain perfectly, but he couldn't continue anymore seeing the broken faces of his daughters. He hoped what he said was enough to make his daughters hate him, Haider to pity and eventually fall for Humeira and Dilshad to accept the responsibility of both his daughters. He spied a fruit knife on the table and he slit his wrists because after all that is a Siddique tradition.😆


Edit:

I wrote this before I watched today's episode and I HATED HAIDER's utilization in it! I am glad Mohit is leaving because Gul has no respect for her characters. She destroy characters with her dumb writing. Asad randomly forgiving Rashid, Zoya during ZoYaan and now Haider staying silent. 😡 This cemented my decision to quit QH after AsYa dies.


Edit 2: My sister told me it sucked (she is an actual writer of fan-fiction) and she told me to split it into paragraphs. This is just a wish scene. I know I don't know how to write and everyone who is giving me nice comments you are truly amazing people and I love you <3❤️🤗


Edit 3 April 22: I cannot write anything and I am particularly bad at writing "bad" things, so Gaffur's rant is terrible. I am sarcastic and I can be rude but I don't give a damn about my reputation or anything. Gaffur and I are planets apart, so I cannot write anything. I changed a few things BUT I cannot improve it.

I hate how the show went after this scene, so in my mind this is what happened and they lived happily ever after. After Gaffur dies, Razia is arrested because Tanveer gives the recording she has anonymously, thinking she will get all of Gaffur's property after Razia goes (being the widow and all), BUT Razia's last murder is Tanveer🥳! HaiRa and AsYa live happily ever after. Zoya helps HaiRa get together. Asad NEVER threatened Zoya with a divorce😡. Nikhat's storyline never existed for me (I have literally forwarded ANY and EVERY scene of her storyline).

THAT IS THE ENDING that I SAY QUBOOL HAI!

Also, this is likely my last post on this forum😊.

Edited by sarbrathan - 11 years ago

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sarbrathan thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#2
Just my views on Qubool Hai, so you understand why this was difficult to write:
  • I HATE RASHID! In my opinion the only wrong GaZia did to him was didn't let him have his first choice. I wholeheartedly blame him for his troubles. I think he is a spineless cheat, who can't stick with his decisions and blames everyone else. I overlooked my personal beliefs while I wrote this
  • I hate Badi Bi and since she wasn't even in the promo, so I completely ignored her.
  • I always wanted ZoHu, so it was hard not writing a reconciliation scene between them
  • I liked Gaffur's redemption track but I hate the fact he thinks he is entitled to anything and Zoya actually loves her absentee father.
Edited by sarbrathan - 11 years ago
WaqtZaya thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#3
He spied a fruit knife on the table and he slit his wrists because after all that is a Siddique tradition.

this part deserves an OSCAR 👏 🤣
sarbrathan thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: MisHumptyDumpty

He spied a fruit knife on the table and he slit his wrists because after all that is a Siddique tradition.

this part deserves an OSCAR 👏 🤣


My sarcastic nature had to come out. Everyone who resides in that suppose attempts suicide. I am not waiting for one to be successful... hopefully Shireen now since Rashid is dead.😆

Thank you! Replies feel good.
Az07 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5
You have written it beautifully dear
I am not watching QH for past 3 months
I know gaffour came to know zoya is his daughter & huha got married & haider knows who is zoya
Did asya came to know about gaffour? How ?
Can you give me a brief synopsis what's going on in show now?
swapno thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6
Ha ha ha..last line cracked me up...😆
Now on a serious note I actually don't know what is happening in the show.
I left it long time ago.
I always knew this show will not give us any proper closure of the tracks..be it gudiya factory or be it Tanveer or be it Humaira's poisoning tracks and not mentioned the great Zoyaan (which was supposed to be a precursor of brother clash)
But I hoped every time...Alas! they always depressed me..and this time it is not tolerable what I am reading from last two days. Everyone love AsYa then why they are killing them..God knows...anyways, you write it beautifully.
Thanks for pm...😊
sarbrathan thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: Az07

You have written it beautifully dear
I am not watching QH for past 3 months
I know gaffour came to know zoya is his daughter & huha got married & haider knows who is zoya
Did asya came to know about gaffour? How ?
Can you give me a brief synopsis what's going on in show now?


This all happened in today's episode. When Zoya finds out and hugs it out with her father she calls Asad. Asad picks her up and says he is happy if she is. Just then Rashid lands on Asad's car and Gaffur is standing up at the balcony with blood on his hands. He was trying to safe Rashid, but Tanveer is framing him. Asad tells the police Gaffur killed Rashid and Zoya stands up for her father. Read the written update for today's episode it is pretty good, except Haider's passive behaviour makes no sense.

I am taking this from someone's else written update because I can't describe anything. "Zoya tries to get asad to convince that mamu isnt a bad person. Asad is confused, while dilshad happily accepts the fact that she met her father. Asad says that he still cant believe all this and asks again if she's sure. zoya says that she took all the signs which indicated that he could have been her father. He says that he's happy if she is, and that he is right now concerned for rashid. Asad in a reprimanding tone, asks zoya how could she leave rashid alone, and that he understands it was important for her to go, but she could have atleast informed him. Zoya says that she did try but didnt get through and was assured by the doctor that rashid wont wake up for a long time. She asks him to come along to the room, as he must be asleep till now. as they move, they hear the sound of a crash on the windshield of the car. They turn around to find rashid lying upside down, with a knife stabbed in his back. They are distraught and shocked beyond their wits. Dilshad faints while asad checks his pulse and finds that he's dead. As zoya looks up, she finds mamu, reaching out his hand, with teary eyes, from the roof and is bewildered. Asad eyes him too and thinks that he is the murderer and is filled with rage."

My own sister called it crap, so I doubt it is written good, but I really appreciate it! If you can bear the visual of RaQesh, watch the promo this story is self-explanatory from there.
sarbrathan thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: swapno

Ha ha ha..last line cracked me up...😆

Now on a serious note I actually don't know what is happening in the show.
I left it long time ago.
I always knew this show will not give us any proper closure of the tracks..be it gudiya factory or be it Tanveer or be it Humaira's poisoning tracks and not mentioned the great Zoyaan (which was supposed to be a precursor of brother clash)
But I hoped every time...Alas! they always depressed me..and this time it is not tolerable what I am reading from last two days. Everyone love AsYa then why they are killing them..God knows...anyways, you write it beautifully.
Thanks for pm...😊


My sister called it crap, so you must be trying to safe my feelings. I had to have something sarcastic in there.. the suicide attempts in SM 🤪 are ridiculous😛 I know you quit the show, so I really appreciate the fact you took time out to read something based on the current track!😊 You along with Arabflower, Goingreen, Saida.m, Maliha, PalyGirl, and some who I whose name I can't remember from the top of my head (like properly for example Winmeet?) are my favourite writers and the fact you read it means a lot🤗
kurilovesKSG thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#9
Girl,
U can write
This was so good
BelleAme thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#10
really nice😊
I loved the way U presented gaffur feelings...n the ending was epic😉

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