Abort the child Urmi - Page 5

Originally posted by: skar1984

I had a feeling this would happen - here are my thoughts on the matter. Note that I am merely expressing my thoughts and opinion - I'm not trying to offend anyone's sentiments here.

I've always been pro-choice. I feel that it's a woman's body and she should have the OPTION or the CHOICE to decide if she wants to take the pregnancy to term or terminate the pregnancy.

This is outside all the moral, societal and ethical discussions related to abortion. On a very basic level just like any other medical condition - the patient should have the ability to make a decision on the diagnosis or prognosis - and that should be final and respected.

In the case of Urmi - here are my thoughts - again these are merely my thoughts on the matter.

I don't think Urmi should have this child. I would like to see Urmi aborting the baby - for the following reasons.

1) Urmi does not want to be married to Samrat any longer.

- So far we have seen that Urmi has finally stood up and walked out of Samrat's house and has taken a stand where she does not want to return. She hasn't stated that she wants a divorce (yet) but she did declare that she does not want to go back and she does not want to be married to such a person - who has no respect, compassion or consideration for her and her feelings. Why would you want to bear such a man's child when you don't want such a man around?

I know many would argue here that the child in question is not at fault - many rape victims have babies conceived via rape etc - which is a different discussion all together but as far as the child being innocent - i agree the child has no fault - but that brings me to my next point:

2) What sort of up-bringing will this child have

-Hypothetically lets say Urmi decides to keep the baby - does that mean she swallows her self-respect and pride and goes back to live in that hell hole of a "sasural" and bear Samrat's tantrums and tyranny for life? If so - what kind of environment is that for a child to grow up in? Samrat does not respect his family - he has all the negatives a person could have - does Urmi really need to be bullied by Samrat and subsequently junior Samrat? Even if the child turns out to be the exact opposite of his father - a) what kind of a male role model will he be having in his formative years b) Samrat would most likely have a condescending attitude towards the child if he turns out sensitive and humane - most likely Samrat would view him as "effeminate"

This is all assuming Urmi has a male child - chances are Samrat and his mother would have another whole slew of negativeness if Urmi were to have a girl child - chances are they might even make her abort the baby if they find out its a girl - then what? Urmi went back (assuming for the sake of the baby) only to have her in-laws force her to abort the baby anyways - so back to square one of living life with the Monster and his equally monstrous mother.

-Lets assume Urmi did not return to her "Sasural" and had the baby on her own - there are even more issues with this scenario - let me explain:

a) Urmi's family would constantly give her grief over the fact that she didn't/doesn't listen to them - a married woman's place is in her husbands' home, now they have 2 mouths to feed etc

This is assuming Urmi doesn't work and lives with her parents and brother. This again is a negative environment for a child - what child wants to grow up in a house where the mother is constantly looked down upon or the members are not happy with them being there?

In either scenario - be it returning to the Sasural or staying at her Maayka - it is not a healthy environment to raise a child.

If Urmi wants to have the child - her best bet would be to not return to her Sasural and become independent - stand strong and rise above the regressive small town mentality and mark her own territory. She'd have to find a way to support herself (child support funds or not) and if her family can not be supportive of her decision she'd have to separate herself from them also to raise the child.

I'll go back to my original thought which is Urmi should not have this baby - she has many demons and battles to fight first - she needs to understand that her marriage is not the one she dreamed of - the person she married is not a good person - she needs time to sort through and reconcile these feelings - be it to formally separate from him and dissolve this marriage or deal with the consequences of remaining married to such a person.

Either way she has some thinking and emotional baggage to sort through - and become stronger so she can make a well thought out decision and stand by it.

Once she sorts through the emotional aspect - then comes the logistics - how will she support herself - does she want to pursue a career (out of interest or necessity or a combination of both) if she is not comfortable with that - will her family support her (emotionally and financially). Deciding to keep the child will just add more complications to the matter - in any case I personally don't think that people like Samrat should be allowed to procreate - why give the world a chance to endure more Samrats? :)

Those are just my thoughts - I know that covered a lot of ground - there were many sub-points to my main thoughts - which would fuel subsequent discussions - but the main thought is - Urmi should not have this baby.

Thanks guys!

Originally posted by: rgattu

@naina and all

I am all for women having choice in the matter of having a baby or not.

But and this is a big one - no woman can remain the same after giving up a child voluntarily to abortion, it is something that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Miscarriages are bad enough when you go through every little thing that you might have done wrong to have ended up losing the child.

But abortion stays with you and especially if you can't conceive later then life becomes a living misery.

I know this is a serial and not real but still it is a bit upsetting to see abortion being touted as a solution with such abandon and ease and to believe that a woman can just go on finding her happiness afterwards. Reality is different.

Originally posted by: s.munagala

Very, very, very well put!!! Now THIS is how people from this planet and century feel. As women we are aware of all the issues that come with being part of a family. But, once the confidence in that family has been shattered and the foundation itself does not exist anymore, we DO have the right over our own minds and our own bodies!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing EXACTLY what I was feeling about this whole thing. 👍🏼 👏

Originally posted by: BlrBabe

getting a abortion is never a easy decision ... even after a lot of thinking and rationalizing .. it is very hard

in this case with kind of pressure Urmi is under .. she either has to move out of her parents place and be ready for single motherhood .. or not have any connection with samrat including a child connecting them .. he will always blackmail urmi with kid coming .. i hope cvs handle this maturely ..