Abort the child Urmi - Page 2

I want her to be strong and go for the child and be independent.

I've always been pro-choice. I feel that it's a woman's body and she should have the OPTION or the CHOICE to decide if she wants to take the pregnancy to term or terminate the pregnancy.

This is outside all the moral, societal and ethical discussions related to abortion. On a very basic level just like any other medical condition - the patient should have the ability to make a decision on the diagnosis or prognosis - and that should be final and respected.

In the case of Urmi - here are my thoughts - again these are merely my thoughts on the matter.

I don't think Urmi should have this child. I would like to see Urmi aborting the baby - for the following reasons.

1) Urmi does not want to be married to Samrat any longer.

- So far we have seen that Urmi has finally stood up and walked out of Samrat's house and has taken a stand where she does not want to return. She hasn't stated that she wants a divorce (yet) but she did declare that she does not want to go back and she does not want to be married to such a person - who has no respect, compassion or consideration for her and her feelings. Why would you want to bear such a man's child when you don't want such a man around?

I know many would argue here that the child in question is not at fault - many rape victims have babies conceived via rape etc - which is a different discussion all together but as far as the child being innocent - i agree the child has no fault - but that brings me to my next point:

2) What sort of up-bringing will this child have

-Hypothetically lets say Urmi decides to keep the baby - does that mean she swallows her self-respect and pride and goes back to live in that hell hole of a "sasural" and bear Samrat's tantrums and tyranny for life? If so - what kind of environment is that for a child to grow up in? Samrat does not respect his family - he has all the negatives a person could have - does Urmi really need to be bullied by Samrat and subsequently junior Samrat? Even if the child turns out to be the exact opposite of his father - a) what kind of a male role model will he be having in his formative years b) Samrat would most likely have a condescending attitude towards the child if he turns out sensitive and humane - most likely Samrat would view him as "effeminate"

This is all assuming Urmi has a male child - chances are Samrat and his mother would have another whole slew of negativeness if Urmi were to have a girl child - chances are they might even make her abort the baby if they find out its a girl - then what? Urmi went back (assuming for the sake of the baby) only to have her in-laws force her to abort the baby anyways - so back to square one of living life with the Monster and his equally monstrous mother.

-Lets assume Urmi did not return to her "Sasural" and had the baby on her own - there are even more issues with this scenario - let me explain:

a) Urmi's family would constantly give her grief over the fact that she didn't/doesn't listen to them - a married woman's place is in her husbands' home, now they have 2 mouths to feed etc

This is assuming Urmi doesn't work and lives with her parents and brother. This again is a negative environment for a child - what child wants to grow up in a house where the mother is constantly looked down upon or the members are not happy with them being there?

In either scenario - be it returning to the Sasural or staying at her Maayka - it is not a healthy environment to raise a child.

If Urmi wants to have the child - her best bet would be to not return to her Sasural and become independent - stand strong and rise above the regressive small town mentality and mark her own territory. She'd have to find a way to support herself (child support funds or not) and if her family can not be supportive of her decision she'd have to separate herself from them also to raise the child.

I'll go back to my original thought which is Urmi should not have this baby - she has many demons and battles to fight first - she needs to understand that her marriage is not the one she dreamed of - the person she married is not a good person - she needs time to sort through and reconcile these feelings - be it to formally separate from him and dissolve this marriage or deal with the consequences of remaining married to such a person.

Either way she has some thinking and emotional baggage to sort through - and become stronger so she can make a well thought out decision and stand by it.

Once she sorts through the emotional aspect - then comes the logistics - how will she support herself - does she want to pursue a career (out of interest or necessity or a combination of both) if she is not comfortable with that - will her family support her (emotionally and financially). Deciding to keep the child will just add more complications to the matter - in any case I personally don't think that people like Samrat should be allowed to procreate - why give the world a chance to endure more Samrats? :)

Those are just my thoughts - I know that covered a lot of ground - there were many sub-points to my main thoughts - which would fuel subsequent discussions - but the main thought is - Urmi should not have this baby.

Thanks guys!

Story wise, she will most likely miscarry anyway.

So not much difference. She aborts or she miscarries probably through the pressure and situation of being back in that house and back with Samrat. And likely, the miscarriage may come even later in the pregnancy stage. What was the mistake of the child then?

Yeah she can claim maintenance, but perhaps she would be happier without the child and without everyone telling her to make it work for the sake of the child.

@skar, great post.

Here it's not that Urmi is strong or not. The situation here is Urmi cannot take this now and everything is shattered in her world right now. By having this child she will be invariobly entering into never ending and society problems, which she is not even responsible.

Why this pain again in her life. Doesn't Urmi deserve what she needs in her life, the happiness and love which dreamt of.

Why always people expect this type of sacrifices from women . If she likes or not, if she becomes pregnant she should keep the child.

If she likes or not, she has to show the world that she is strong by taking care of the kid all by herself.

If she wishes or not she should bring some child to this world and give it to childless parents.

If she likes or not she has to only choose what others decide for her, not what she thinks or wants in life. Why this type of thinking and for how long it has to be this way.