Do you actually feel bad for Urmi?

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Salia

@Sugar_21

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

Just wondering, because I'm a bit undecided about her...

We all have witnessed what a brave girl Urmi can be and how sensible, progressive she is. She stood up in the case of of those goons assaulting Samrat's sister and recently in the case of that woman being beaten up...don't recall the name in the latter incident, but the conclusion is she (Urmi) is an open-minded and sensible girl.

My confusion basically stems from the above behavior. I always sympathized with Urmi because I thought she was a demure, shy, over protected girl who couldn't stand up for her rights, but the above two incidents indicate otherwise. If she actually is so sensible then how did she fail to see beyond Samrat's good looks? What was it about Samrat that she actually fell for him despite being implored by Trisha to act on the contrary? Clearly, Samrat has NEVER been nice to her except, except of course all the times he wanted to sleep with her. He's been oppressive and intimidating from day one...even before marriage in fact.

And, lets be honest, Urmi would forgive Samrat instantly over his mistakes, keep mum over his oppressive/ authoritarian attitude and would get happy (I've seen those hopelessly in love smiles) with the slightest love he would shower on her.

Why would an educated woman with modern, progressive thoughts fall in love with Samrat in the first place? I mean its only now that he has become insufferable that she's hating him to another level, but lets admit it she was more than thrilled to be married to him.

Of course, we can factor in things like ...'oh she was forced into marriage because of her parents', and he's from a "good" family and she's been a good wife by being forgiving and comprising blah blah, but I don't buy into this crap because the truth being said, she did want to get married to Samrat. She was smitten with him at various stages (this despite the fact that she never really knew him). Also, the forgiving and comprising part about her just made me dislike her a little because she was going against her own philosophy. I mean as a woman who projects herself as being progressive and correct, its was sad to see her tolerating injustice.

Of course now things are different since its too much too handle, but honestly I can't sympathize with Urmi.

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Dolly-heart

@Dolly-heart

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

To answer your question... No I do not feel bad for Urmi. Because even before her marriage she saw signs that SamRAT was indeed not what he seemed.

The only thing was she was smitten by SamRAT and the idea of marriage and her dream was that her husband would be her knight in shinning armour which later to her horror it all turned into a nightmare.

And we cannot forget Ishaan in all this. He sugar coated all SamRAT's faults and kept assuring Urmi...do not worry all will be better.

The real reason I do not feel sorry for Urmi is NOW when she has seen first hand what the real SamRAT is like, she will still go back because she is pregnant and will not fight tooth and nail with her family to stand by her decision to leave him just because they will coerce her to compromise.

She was a demure and shy girl and she did have a tiny streak of spirit when she handled her sister Trishna when she asked her to not be present in her wedding. She did that quite craftily.

The show is all about the dreams a girl has for her marriage and her life with her husband and how those dreams shatter when they are smashed with reality of knowing you ended up marrying a first class RAT.

Will Urmi change and be strong and stand up against SamRAT OR will she cower and be a mute mouse because that is what her family wants.

Let us see if she has all that progressive ideas just outside the house or will she be smart and fight for equality in her marriage.

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KhatamKahani

@KhatamKahani

Stunner

Posted: 11 years ago

I've said this from the Sangeet onwards. It's not that I don't think she deserves a good marriage and happiness. She does. But she doesn't deserve to have that with Samrat.

Urmi spouts dialogues and speeches about respect and equality in marriage but she has adhered to her grandmother's regressive teachings way too many times. One example is when she moved to Samrat's left when they met at the Temple.

Her own family and Ishaan are at fault too for not being truthful, but Urmi had ample opportunities but chose to choose Samrat over Trisha.

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iPerfection

@iPerfection

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

I feel bad for her. How could she know how Sam is when the marriage was arranged. Before the marriage Everytime when the true colours of Sam was about to be show Ishaan did something ulta and Urmi kept on dreaming and dreaming (like the love u too sms which ishaan sent to her not sam, rose scene, sangeet scene, when she called the wedding off through the phone, sam called back whe thought he cares which hurted her more, etc) all these small situations before the marriage and some which Ishaan faked infront of Urmi, she thought Sam is gonna be ideal hubby. Ofcourse she would have listened to Trisha if she saw something negative from Sammys side.

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Salia

@Sugar_21

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Posted: 11 years ago

I agree, I agree. With the things that Ishaan did factored in makes her seem like a victim...like she was fooled, coaxed, manipulated...on and on. And, I'm starting to see that dreamy state that you (iperfection) and Dolly have mentioned, but that's it...that's where my confusion/ nettling starts lol.

I did sympathize with her from all those above mentioned, but what I'm saying is that she preaches/ stands up for other people's rights (as mentioned by Likarsh & Dolly), but she fails to bring that in her own life. Of course, you can argue this but the main point is she's not dumb (and we, viewers, get that hint when she dreams and dreams and basis her life decision as result of text message or roses...like how childish is that). On the contrary, she understands things, analyzes, uses her own mind and goes against the society to stand up for what she thinks is right. Its starting to sound like I'm taking about two different people...its a little hypocritical.

Also, I have to agree with you guys (despite not being able to recall) that Sam must have done some sweet things, again I can't recall because the ratio of horrible things is much more lol. He was pretty aloof, arrogant and strange before the wedding...there were TOO many signs and an intelligent woman, well recently shown to be intelligent, should have been able to pick up those things.

About the marriage being arranged, India has progressed a little in this arena lol. Or at least, I'd like to think so. Marriages aren't totally arranged. These days parents are understanding enough to let the couple meet beforehand. And, of course, Urmi, like any other child, has a bond with her family, she could have sat down and explained her sentiments to her parents. Don't forget Trisha implored her not to marry Sam. Her mother would have also understood. Of course, some family members were just on cloud nine about the wedding, but Urmi never stood up for her right. If she had, and her parents forced her then she would have been deserving of sympathy, but she didn't...or at least not so vociferously as stands up for other people's rights.

@Dolly: overall same sentiments, even I'm quite curious to see whether if she's going to extend her progressive thoughts in her marriage.

Edited by Sugar_21 - 11 years ago

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wensue

@wensue

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

When Samrat first started abusing her my initial thoughts was she deserved it because Trish warned her, she was so hell-bent on marrying him she couldn't see what was right in front of her. She should have know what type of person he was when he didn't follow tradition with the tumeric ritual and other things that she was worried about. Then as a woman I started to feel sorry that she had to endure the abuse and had no-one to stand up for her, her in-laws are cowards. I'm hoping that she doesn't go back to him even if she is pregnant but I know how these shows go. Samrat needs to be brought to his knees and realize being a dictator is not going to get him anywhere. He still makes my skin crawl, just his manner makes me shudder. If she goes back to him I want him to beg and cry before she even considers it.

I bet the writers don't have the guts to have her leave home and get her own place if her parents insist that she goes back to him, and raise her baby alone. She's somewhat modern that she should be able to get a job.

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Salia

@Sugar_21

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

Finding a job and becoming independent...that would be a nice track. As for Samrat, I doubt he'll ever change. I'm sure he'll regret being a jerk if she doesn't come back, but his total mentality change looks impossible but this is a serial, and like all serials, they (makers) might change him inside out. I hope they show a transformation more subtle and sensible though...

As for the current track, Urmi should not go back. Hopefully, she stands up for herself as she stands up for others.

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Kalapi

@Kalapi

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

I do feel bad for Urmi. I mean even if there were signs that Samrat is anything but a 'good' guy, even then all things happening together can easily confuse a girl. Urmi isn't shown as a 'older' 'experienced' girl, but a girl who lived more or less protected life so far and naive, and even if she spoke of equality and respect - those were more a theoretical words spoken from what is supposed to 'happen', should happen' and so are 'right'. Nothing spoken from experience. Especially for a 'young' girl who herself is dreaming of a happy married life with a man - it is hard to see the ugliness in the guy she is going to marry. In reality 'young' girl falls in love with 'bad' boys and runs away, even when the parents tells them continuously that the 'boy' maybe or is a 'goon'. Theoretically knowing about an abuser is different from firsthand experience with an abuser, esp. of the abuser is a smooth talker and the girl (and family) is continuously trying to 'justify' the guy's actions however wrong those are/were..

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Do you actually feel bad for Urmi?

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